The Prayer of Jesus

I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given me, for they are Yours (Jn. 17: 9).

Wisdom is the fruit of communion; ignorance the inevitable portion of those who "keep themselves to themselves," and stand apart, judging, analyzing the things which they have never truly known" (Evelyn Underhill: The Complete Christian Mystic, p.10).

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In studying the Prayer of Jesus this morning, I was struck by the fact that He said he was not praying for the world, but for "those you have given me, for they are yours."   But then he goes on to pray for "those who will believe in Me through their message....May they also be in us...."

Jesus has begun this prayer by acknowledging that the Father has granted Him "authority" over all people "that He might give eternal life to those You have given him."  The word here translated "authority" (power) is in the Greek the same word used in John 1:12 > Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right (power) to become children of God.

At the Last Supper, Jesus is praying not for the world, but for those who accepted His words and who believed that the Father had sent Him.  Jesus is praying here that the disciples might "be one as we are one," and that those who heard them might "be brought to complete unity....in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

I think I began looking closely at His prayer because I was praying this morning for those "the Father had given me," in a sense:  those with whom I have experienced some sort of communion, or unity.  Of course, as we pray, we begin with those closest to us -- namely our families -- that they might have in them the same spirit that has been given to us -- the Spirit of Jesus.  That they might have eternal life, even now, beginning in this life.  That they may continue to be united with us and not separated by evil and the temptations that separate us from love and unity.  

We pray for them also because, of all the people in the world, we know who they are and what they need -- they are in us and we are in them.  While I do pray for the world in general, it seems that each one of us must have a special mission to pray for those "the Father has given us."  I would think that we have no "authority" or "power" or "influence" over those Evelyn Underhill describes as "standing apart, judging, analyzing things they have never known."  

I am often led to pray for my neighbors -- not for all of them, but for those "the Father has given me," for those who "accept my words" and "believe in me."  Not that I am teaching them, of course, but in ordinary conversation, we have communion and sympathy for one another -- I, in a sense, am truly "in them" and they in me.  We are united, not "standing apart, judging and criticizing" one another.  And I desire their good, their health, their peace, their joy in a way that is possible only at a distance to those neighbors I do not know and who do not know me.

I think the Prayer of Jesus encourages me.  While I am discouraged at the state of the world, at the state of our nation, at the condition of the poor, the lonely, the "human refuse" of the world, and while I pray "Thy kingdom come" over all  these conditions, it seems that my "authority" in prayer really rests over those the Father has given me.  I cannot reach beyond what has been given to me -- but I do need to take care of what has been given.  St. John the Baptist said of himself: A man can receive only what has been given to him by heaven (Jn. 3:27).

Jesus did nothing on His own; everything came to Him from the Father and was returned by Him to the Father.  If we think of and pray for those the Father has given us and return them into His hands, we do well.

The Theo-drama

Bishop Robert Barron publishes Gospel Reflections each day that are available on your smart phone.  I think if you type in his name or "Word on Fire" they will probably appear.  Today's reflection concerns Mary's haste to visit her cousin Elizabeth after hearing the message of the angel.  According to Barron, Mary went with haste because she had discovered her role in the "theo-drama," or the great story told by God.

Everywhere in our culture, Barron says, we find the "ego-drama," the play that I'm writing, I'm producing, I'm directing, and I'm starring in.  I become the person I choose to be.  Indeed, his words remind me of those often told to young people:  You can be anything you want to be.  But according to Barron, what makes life thrilling is to discover our role in the "theo-drama," in God's great drama of salvation.  Once we discover our place in His play, our lives are energized and filled with excitement.

I remember the feeling I had when I first went to Delgado Community College to teach part-time:  This is where I'm supposed to be, I thought.  This is what my life is all about -- helping these students succeed.  For a good many of them had experienced little or no success; they hardly knew what to expect from higher education.  And they certainly could not have known how their lives would change as a result of succeeding in college.  I had found my mission, and I was willing to do anything within my power to fulfill it.

Mina Shaughnessy, who taught at City College of New York, wrote extensively on the problems encountered by those who teach developmental education -- or sort of "pre-college" courses.  She said that the teacher of these students would experience heights of exaltation and depths of discouragement hardly guessed at by other teachers.  And she was right.  We were in a struggle for their very lives.

I remember one class especially in the first year I taught.  The first week of class, I took the students to the library -- just so they could experience and get the feel of being in the library.  I asked them to walk around and find a book they thought was interesting, to bring me the book and talk with me about their reasons for choosing this book.  I thought this might be a way for me to get to know my students the first week.  Their homework was to write about their experience of being in the library.

One young woman wrote that for the first time she realized that she could sometimes take her 5-year-old to the library instead of to the playground.  I was stunned to read her words, and upon reflection, realized that even if she dropped out of college, the next three generations may have been affected by her one visit to the library.

I love Bishop Barron's explanation of the "theo-drama."  Maybe if we could teach children to seek God's plan for their lives instead of writing their own play, we could also change the next three generations.

Providence

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:6)

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Several months ago, I received a notice that my general practitioner was no longer in practice. His patients had the option to find a new doctor or to switch over to one of two nurse practitioners.  I decided to ask around for recommendations from my friends and trusted sources.  My pulmonologist recommended a doctor in Long Beach, not far from my home.  However, the first appointment they could give me was March 17 (I had called in early November).  In addition, he would not accept my secondary insurance.  So I started over.

A friend recommended her doctor, but when I called, I was told that she was no longer accepting new patients.  They gave me the name of another doctor to call, but I could find no one who knew that doctor.  In desperation, I did call and set up an appointment however.  They were able to schedule me two weeks out; my appointment was for yesterday (Tuesday).

On Monday, I started having severe chills and aches, along with a urinary tract infection that was very painful.  In fact, I was seeing blood in the urine.  How grateful I was to have an appointment already scheduled the very next day!  

Today, I picked up Jesus Calling, a series of meditations for each day and I read the following:

I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU.  Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence.  Every detail of your life is under my control.....Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe.  Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning.  People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding....If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you.  This why you must live by faith, not by sight, trusting in My mysterious, majestic Presence.

Not only is Divine Providence working constantly on our behalf, but our gracious God bends low enough to let us know what He is doing.  When I read the possible side effects of the prescribed medicine, I was afraid to begin taking it -- but I have no choice.  However, after reading this passage from Jesus Calling this morning, I have confidence that not only did God arrange for this doctor's visit, but He Himself will watch over the prescribed medicine.  How good it is to trust in the Lord!

The Power and Presence of God

Of all the definitions of "Grace" that I have heard, the best one to me is "The Power and Presence of God in this moment, for this situation."  I love that definition because I can relate so many moments of my life to the saving Presence of God -- from the time I was almost kidnapped at the age of five to the time I was kept from having my throat slit in City Park not too many years ago.  Of course, the meaning of grace extends to the thousands of quiet, non-dramatic or spectacular moments when the Presence of God has guided me in small and large decisions or actions -- sometimes even when I was not aware of the guidance until afterwards.

Most of us over 40 will remember the 1978 story of serial killer Ted Bundy, who broke into a Florida State sorority house and brutally murdered two young women, severely injuring two others.  Yet, according to the article in The Clarion Herald (October 2018)), when Bundy opened the door to one woman's bedroom and "stared straight into her face" as she lay in bed, he dropped his knife and fled the scene.

Later, the young woman told a Catholic priest that she had promised her mother before going off to college that she would pray a nightly rosary "for protection" at bedtime.  On the night of the attack, she was still holding her rosary when Bundy opened the door to her room.  When he was captured, Bundy said that he had every intention of killing that young woman, but a "mysterious force" made him drop the knife and flee for his life.

I cannot help but relate that story to the one of Balaam, a prophet or "seer" in the Book of Numbers (chapter 22).  The king of Moab was terrified at the sight of the Israelites camped across the Jordan River from him.  The Moabites said, "This horde is going to lick up everything around us, as an ox licks up the grass of the field."  So Balak , the king, sent for Balaam to come and curse the Israelites. But God said to Balaam, "You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed."

Because Balak sent even more and greater princes to persuade Balaam, he went with them anyway -- but "an angel of the Lord stood in his path to turn him aside."

I wonder just how many times the angels have blocked the path of those who set out to curse us or to harm us.  I wonder how much we actually dwell in the Power and Presence of the Most High God without even realizing it.

Infinite Joy

We are designed and created for infinite joy.  We talk about "getting to heaven," but really, what we mean is that we are invited even now to enter into eternal "Life," or participation in the eternal exchange of love between the Father and the Son, by means of the Holy Spirit.

"If you knew the Gift of God," Jesus said to the woman at the well, "you would ask Me, and I would give you, water springing up to eternal life" (Jn. 4: 10).  The "Gift of God"  -- eternal life, or eternal joy, eternal peace, eternally knowing that we are the Beloved of God.  Eternally dancing in response to His Great Love.  Eternally being created in His Image and Likeness.  Eternally growing in our capacity to know Him and to love Him, and with Him, all that He has created.

How simple it is....."you would ask Me, and I would give you!"  No "straighten up your life first, and then I will give you."  But rather, "Let Me Give You, and then, you will straighten up...."  And then you will obey Me.  And then you will receive even more life, even more joy.

What God wants from us is simply our attention -- so He can continue to pour into us His life, His goodness, His joy.  And that is the reason our attention is so in demand from the world and from the Evil One.  They, too, want our attention, and they, too, promise us joy.  And we do not know that we are being led away from the center of joy, of life, when we turn our attention toward them.

The waters of Baptism flow over us with all the promises of God toward us --  You will be mine, and I will be yours.  I will teach you and lead you, if only you will listen to Me.  And your joy no one will take from you.  Joy to see and to hear what no one on earth can see and hear, but for Me.  Joy to live and to love as God Himself lives and loves.

But we have other things to see and to hear, other things to do  -- until we have seen it all and heard it all and done it all --- and we are still hungry and thirsty for more.

I used to teach English composition to developmental students.  That means that they entered college with few skills toward success in writing.  As non-readers for the most part, they were blind to the common signals of punctuation and grammar.  Often, they did not recognize the difference in print of the ordinary words of English:  their / there; riding/ writing; your/ you're, etc.  Moreover, many of my students coming out of high school could not recognize my passion for their success -- in their experience, it was them against the teacher.  Some were expecting to fail from the outset, and therefore gave up before they had started.  They sat in class but failed to do homework, knowing it was no use -- and hoping that if they didn't cause trouble, I would pass them out of the kindness of my heart.

And always, always, I would tell them, "Stay with me, and I will get you through.  I know the way through the proficiency exam, and I know how to get you there.  I will not abandon you to your ignorance and weakness.  I will be your strength.  Stay with me until the end and do not grow discouraged."  And yet, they would often give up for lack of hope, or because other things demanded their time and attention, or because they just didn't want to persevere to the end.  And they could not see my hope for them, my desire for their success, and my great disappointment when they gave up or simply refused to accept my help.  Some never found their way into my office; nor would they stay to see me after class.  They hunched their shoulders and accepted failure as if it were their destiny in life.

But for those who stayed with me, for those who took to heart my lessons, who began to see in their writing what I saw, who gradually took on new eyes to see, they could lift their heads knowing that success would be theirs.  They were not locked into life as they had known it -- they could and would succeed not only in my class but in the next one and the one after that.  For the most part, they did not see my joy in their success, for the semester was over.  But knowing they were prepared to succeed was my greatest joy.  All they had to do for one semester was to be present, to listen, and to do whatever I told them to do.  And their lives would never be the same.

There's a lesson in here somewhere.  If we could just learn it.

Prayers Lead to Prayer

All over the world today, people are saying prayers -- Buddhist monks are chanting prayers that have been said for centuries; Roman Catholics are saying the Rosary or novenas; Sufis are whirling; Muslims are touching their foreheads to the earth, and Hindus are offering fruit in their temples.

According to Bishop Robert Barron, "prayers lead to prayer," or communion with God.  This is why people pray -- to touch the face of the invisible God.   And He, in turn, is passionately waiting to   touch our hearts.  When the energy of God meets our human energy, it is like the burning bush Moses encountered in the desert -- we are on fire but not consumed.

St. James put it this way:  Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you.  "Saying prayers" of whatever fashion is our way of stopping our lives momentarily to draw close to the God Who is "closer than a brother" to us.  He is "surely in this place," as Jacob discovered in the wilderness, though "we do not know it."  And so he called that place Bethel, meaning House (Dwelling Place) of God.

We are the living "Bethels" -- dwellings of the Most High God.  He is within us, and yet we do not know it.  If we stop looking around us long enough, close our eyes, and begin to approach the Temple of the Lord through prayers, we may find Him running to meet us, as the Prodigal Father ran to meet his returning son along the road.

What kind of prayers? people ask.  "I don't know how to pray."  St. Augustine has the answer: Pray as you can, not as you can't.  One reason every culture and race has developed formal prayers is that we are hesitant to approach the invisible God on our own -- and when we do, we are not sure our prayers are effective or heard.  We stumble and fall because we are on unfamiliar territory, and not even sure we are on the right path.

Thomas Merton's famous prayer is useful for almost all of us:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Here is truth -- that we don't know what we are doing, but that God is faithful to us in our simplicity of prayer, no matter what form it may take.

Learning to Pray

I think all of us must have had at some moment in our lives an encounter with God.  God is He Who from the beginning has revealed Himself to mankind -- and whatever He DID, He continues to DO, because He is eternal.

We read about such encounters in the Bible:  God meets Abraham; He meets Jacob on his journey, Moses, and Joshua.  He meets Mary.  And we tend to think these are unusual -- but I rather think these meetings are not unusual, but the common event for all of us.  And the encounters are all different, depending on the nature of the man himself.

God has a passion for communicating with us.  He wants us to know Him -- and the only way that can happen is for Him to reveal Himself to each one of us.  Our response to that revelation is prayer -- adoration, worship, thanksgiving, petition, intercession.  So many times, we try to pray without knowing Who it is we are praying TO!  Who is this God to whom we address our prayer?  Once we address that question, we are on our way to real prayer, or "intimate conversation with One who we know loves us," in the words of Teresa of Avila.  Until we can truly say, "You are MY God," we have not yet begun to pray.

One afternoon years ago, I sat in my office minding my own business.  Suddenly, a "voice" broke into my thoughts:  "Who are your favorite people in the Bible?"  Without thinking about it at all, I spontaneously answered, "Enoch, Deborah, and Abraham."  If I had pondered the question, I may have weighed different responses -- but these names just popped to the surface without thought.  Immediately came the reply:  "Walk with Me; Sit with Me; Stand with Me."

Surprised, I then began to think:  Enoch "walked" with God until he was no more; Deborah "sat" under a tree and "judged" Israel; and Abraham --- how did Abraham "stand" with God?  Curious, I pulled out my bible and searched -- and sure enough, it says Abraham "stood" with God and interceded with Him about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.  And this, after God says, "Should I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?" (Gen. 18:17).

Looking back now, years later, I realize that God was teaching me how to pray.  It's not always about praying the rosary or saying novenas -- although that, for some people, is how God has taught them to pray, and St. Augustine says, "Pray as you can, not as you can't!"  That is great advice, even though I'd bet most of us lament the ways we cannot pray, not realizing that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness, uttering prayers with unutterable groans in us, and God hears the prayers we cannot say (Romans 8:26).

In other words, God Himself prays in us and through us; He breathes through us the prayers He wants to answer for the world around us.  "I never know what to say," said a friend of mine one day.  But maybe if we walk with Him long enough, sit with Him for awhile, and stand with Him in intercession for our friends and our cities, we'll eventually feel comfortable enough to "say" nothing at all!

Brilliance!

And how can they preach unless they are sent? (Romans 10:15)

I am amazed to be living in an age when I have access to the writings of ancient literature on my Kindle.  On this small device, I carry the libraries of the world -- and I can immediately read precious documents and books on which people once spent fortunes to purchase or gain access to.

There is no substitute for reading original works by the fathers of the church or by the saints.  For some reason, their writing is so clear, so reasonable, that what they proclaim seems obvious -- and yet, later, or modern, writers rarely seem to reach the same level of clarity.  When I read them, I understand the words "Proclaim the Gospel."  For example, for years, I have read many books and treatises on the Incarnation and why Christ had to die for our sins.  Yet, it was only St. Athanasius' On the Incarnation that unfolded for me the absolute reasonableness of Christ's necessary death on the cross.

In the same way, reading St. Francis de Sales' The Catholic Controversy has brought to light an amazing understanding of the error of the Protestant Reformation.  Born in 1567, Francis became Bishop of Geneva, the city of Calvin's spread of heresy.  One would expect Francis to write caustically about the Protestant Reformation, particularly in light of its accusations against the corruption of the Catholic church.  And yet, Francis writes his explanations with such humility and gentleness that it is estimated his writings re-converted 72,000 people who had left the church to follow Calvinism at the time, illustrating one of his sayings, "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength."

In Part I of his treatise, entitled Mission, Francis points out that the office claimed by Luther, Calvin, and the other ministers of the Reformation was that of "ambassadors of Jesus Christ Our Lord."  And yet, the message they proclaimed was the declaration of "a formal divorce between Our Lord and the ancient church His spouse, and to arrange, as lawful procurators, a second and new marriage with this young madam, of better grace, said they, and more seemly than the other."

According to Francis, to say that the whole church has failed and all truth disappeared is to say that Jesus has abandoned His church and has broken the sacred tie of marriage He had contracted with her.  To put forward a new church is to thrust upon Jesus a new and second wife.  How interesting that I have never read before such a perspective!

Moreover, Francis goes on to question who "sent" these messengers, because as the Scripture says, "How can they preach unless they are sent?"  In fact, this issue of "sending" has always been one of the strongest marks of the true church: one, holy, catholic, apostolic.  Christ gave the sacred commission to his apostles; they have laid hands on and ordained others -- sending them forth from the Source of Truth to proclaim the Truth.  "We say mission is given mediately when we are sent by one who has from God the power of sending, according to the order which he has appointed in his church....as was the sending of Timothy by St. Paul."

If the mission is directly from God, as was that of Moses, then it is always verified by signs and wonders.  Mission is not given without blessings---and no one should allege an extraordinary mission unless he prove it by miracles.  Even Jesus said, "As the Father has sent me, so I also send you;  My teaching is not my own, but of Him that sent me."  "Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?  Otherwise, believe for the works themselves."  Anyone who claims an extraordinary mission without miracles should be taken for an imposter.  Even the messages given by Our Lady to her visionaries are supported by miracles.

I had never looked upon the Protestant reformers the way Francis de Sales does.  In fact, I had thought that maybe in the beginning they were indeed reformers, but that their message had gotten out of hand.  Now, however, I am seeing how critical it is that all teachers and preachers remain wholly united to the church itself, teaching only what the church teaches in unity with all the bishops.
I am so grateful to be able to go directly to the sources to find what St. Vincent of Lerins said "has been believed from the beginning."

Gazing Upon the Beauty of the Lord

One thing I ask of the Lord, 

and this I seek;

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in His temple (Ps. 27).

Last evening, at a church gathering, someone asked if I had seen the sunset.  I had not, but she began extolling the inexpressible beauty of the day: "People were pulling over to the side of the road just to gaze at the sunset," she said.

The best things in life have no purpose except pure enjoyment -- just gazing at them in joy.  Bishop Robert Barron maintains that the very best parts of the newspaper are the sports pages and the comics, for they have no end outside of themselves -- just enjoyment.  (Now, however, with sports betting made legal, the commercialists have found a way to make the sports pages utilitarian, destroying the pure joy of reading.)

I can think of no better pastime than gazing upon Truth, Beauty, and Goodness.  C.S. Lewis, in his Reflections Upon the Psalms, ponders how on earth a man can "love" the "law," calling it "sweeter than honey" (Psalm 119), for example.  He understands how someone can respect the law, or appreciate it, but not how we can "love" it.  

For the Jews, however, the word "law" did/ and does not mean what we think of as "law."  Rather, to them, "the Law" was the instruction, inspiration, Truth, Order, Beauty of Creation, righteousness, the Breath and Wisdom of God revealed to mankind.  When we finally "see" it, or receive it, it takes our breath away, even more than the beauty of a sunset or the majesty of the mountains.  It is like seeing the very Face of God Himself.  

People think that the purpose of Christianity, or of any religion for that matter, is to "make us good and decent people."  And from that premise, they will eventually deduce that they can be good people without going to church.  Perhaps they can; I will not deny them that.  But "making us good" is a rather utilitarian end of religion, and not its primary purpose after all.  It is a secondary effect, much as a man might reform his life to be worthy of the woman he falls in love with.

The reason Jesus Christ came was not to reform us --- although He does do that, of course.  No, He came to re-form us into a different sort of creature altogether.  We are no longer children of Adam, but now children of God.  We are not only allowed, but now even invited, to gaze upon the beauty of His face and to inquire of Him whatever we want.  We are enjoined to "taste and see the goodness of the Lord," to rest in His Presence, to enter into fellowship with Him, to eat at His table.

Jesus wants for us the SAME relationship He has with the Father.  And not just "when we get to heaven," but NOW, on earth.  That is why we must be "born again," as "a new creation."  The old (man) is gone; the new has arrived in the Resurrection.  Now we too can pass through walls and doors; we can gaze upon His beauty now, and find TRUTH in His temple.  We can drink freely of the water of life.  

Going on vacation -- as long as we leave behind the cell phones and the internet -- and gazing at the stars for no other reason except to drink in as much as we can their exquisite beauty is much more akin to our Christianity than "becoming good people."  After seeing the sunset, after sleeping under the stars, or walking the forest, or canoeing the cold mountain stream; after hearing the birds sing for no "reason," we will undoubtedly be better people, but only because our lives have been touched by the most exquisite beauty we can imagine.  We need more gazing in our lives.

Gathering In

...he who does not gather with me, scatters (Luke 11:23).

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for all are one in Christ Jesus (Gal. 3:28)

In the beginning, there was one man, a man who "walked with God in the cool of the evening."  Out of him, God took the woman.  At first, she was "bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh," until sin and division entered the world.  But at first, the man and the woman were one, and they were one with God and with the entire earth.  There was no division at first.  There was harmony and peace.

With separation from the Divine Presence, there was division and blame between the man and the woman, and that showed up not only in them, but was manifested in their children, Cain and Abel. The lack of harmony, the separation from God, was also manifested in the earth itself, that now grew thorns and thistles along with the fruits of the field.  Cain's cry in Genesis 4 is heart-rendering as he expresses utter desolation -- separation from God, from his fellow man, and from the earth itself:

The Lord said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground.  Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.  When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you.  You will be a restless wanderer on the earth."

Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is more than I can bear.Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from Your Presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me."

 And the lack of harmony, peace, between man and God, man and man, and man and the earth grew even greater with the next generations.  One of Cain's descendants announced that he would kill a man for injuring him and take vengeance 77 times (Gen. 4:23-24).  Chapter 6 of Genesis (the flood) is an "uncreation" story, where the corruption/division/ lack of harmony on the earth is so great that the earth is returning to its original watery chaos -- the abyss.  Even with starting over, sin reigns on the earth such that men can no longer understand one another at all (The Tower of Babel).

Onto the stage comes Abraham, one man through whom God will restore harmony between Himself and mankind, between man and man, and between man and the earth itself.  Through Abraham, "all nations will bless themselves," there will be a special relationship with God, and his descendants will be led to a land "flowing with milk and honey" -- fruitfulness rather than barrenness.  A new creation emerging from one man walking with God and establishing peace upon the earth.

Fast forward through 2000 years of salvation history to Jesus Christ.  Through one Man's faithfulness to God, the earth is re-born to fruitfulness and mankind once again "walks with God." Now there is no division, no "Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female," but all are one in Christ Jesus.   Now, whoever comes to Him is given the power to become children of God, restoring peace and harmony in a chaotic world.  

And to the church, the family of God, is given this same task -- to gather in, with Jesus Christ, the lost and forsaken, the separated, the divided, and to make them One: one with God, one with one another, one with the earth itself.  "If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to Myself," said Jesus.  By His death, He destroyed death and separation and by His resurrection created one "new earth." 

We are called to be "gatherers" with Christ Jesus.  Where there is separation and enmity, there is still sin and corruption.  In the church, when we are "gathered together," there is no slave nor free, Jew nor Greek, male nor female," but we are all one with God and with one another and with the earth.  In the present age of "#MeToo" and rage against "old white men" and injury between blacks and whites and between police and public; in the age of injustice against our air, our water, our soil, we need those who with Jesus Christ, would "gather us in" to the one family of God on the one earth.

Only the church, the Body of the Lord, can hold us together.  If the church fails in its mission, the earth and all in it are doomed.

The Holy Spirit Helps Us in our Weakness -- Part 2

In the last entry, I wrote about agreeing to pray for a priest, and then discovering that I had no clue about how to do that.  What I was about to find out, however, is that God gives us what He asks us to do.

The same day I went to Adoration and heard the words, "I want you to suffer with him," I was led to open my bible to the book of Zechariah, chapter 3.  As I began to read, I was amazed to read about Joshua, the high priest, who was being accused by Satan standing at his right hand.  The angel of the Lord rebuked Satan and told those standing near to take off Joshua's filthy clothes and to dress him in fine linen.  In addition, the filthy turban around Joshua's head was removed and replaced with a clean one.  Then the angel said to Joshua, "See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you" (Zech. 3:4).

The Word of the Lord is absolutely overflowing with audio-visual aids for us poor and weak students.  God is able to make us see and understand what He wants us to learn.  Now I had a clear image of my priest being cleansed of his sins and impurities so that he could indeed be an alter Christi -- another Christ -- and do the things God has called him to do. And I was able to pray, "May it be done unto him according to Your Word."

Another week passed and then I was led to begin praying Ephesians chapter 6, where Paul urges us to "put on the whole armor of God": the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the shoes of readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  These are the "rich garments" with which the Spirit of the Lord wishes to clothe those who take their stand against the devil's schemes: "For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

I had asked the Lord to show me how to pray, and now I thought I had enough direction to last a lifetime.  Little did I know that there was more to come.  Somehow, The Book of Pastoral Rule of St. Gregory the Great appeared on my Kindle.  As I began reading Part II -- The Life of the Pastor -- I realized that I was being given even more very specific direction for prayer.  In chapter after chapter, Gregory urges the pastor to be pure, discreet in keeping silent, but profitable in speech, sympathetic, contemplative, a good friend, humble, zealous for righteousness -- and the list goes on.  (Our poor priests!)

I guess my "take-away" is that I should never tell the Lord that I don't know how to do what He asks me to do.  He knew that from the beginning, but He also knows that He will provide over and above -- more than we can ask or imagine, according to His power at work in us (Eph. 3) -- all that is necessary for us to carry out the mission He gives us.  In the words of St. Paul: to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.

The Spirit Helps Us in our Weakness

The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Rom. 8: 26).

Recently, I agreed to begin praying for a priest, but immediately found myself in a dilemma.  My  prayer is most often unstructured and unfocused, often consisting more in silence and listening than in "saying" anything.  Now, however, I felt that I had a "job" to do, and I was floundering.  I thought maybe I needed to be intentional in how and what I was praying --- but at the same time, I felt that my patron (St. Therese, who always prayed for priests) was probably very ashamed of me and embarrassed by my stabs at prayer in this regard.

Most people would probably say a Rosary for a special intention, but for years I have spectacularly failed at saying the Rosary.  During the day, or when I am walking, I probably say the equivalent of a Rosary, but put a Rosary in my hands, and I become a fool.  I get tangled up in the prayers, since I keep trying to contemplate and forget the words --- or I get stuck on an Our Father and start thinking about all the places "Thy Kingdom come" need so desperately.  

Finally, after a week of trying to do my "job" without knowing even where or how to begin, I went to Adoration.  How do you want me to pray? I cried.  I don't know how to pray for ……  The answer came in a short time: I want you to suffer with him!  This was not the answer I expected, but I immediately understood it.  I was not to undertake any kind of special "suffering" or penance, but I was not to abandon him in his suffering.  If I decided to back off praying/ standing with him, then I would be leaving him to suffer his burdens alone.  For me, this was the perfect answer: I knew that I could not give up praying just because I thought I didn't know how to do it.

In the weeks following, I began to see and understand things that were new to me: Mary standing helplessly at the foot of the cross, refusing to leave her Son in His suffering; the loneliness and lack of intimacy in priestly life; the fact that there is no one to share in the small and large moments.  I began to understand the fact that if even one person understands our suffering, it begins to be bearable.  That is why therapy is so effective -- someone else knows what we are going through! Even though I don't really know what my priest is suffering at any given moment, I can still "stand there" in silence.

I understood also that as Mary stood with Jesus, she was offering His suffering to the Father in submission, not understanding, but obeying.  She was not necessarily "saying any prayers," but standing there yielding to God's will. I finally began to understand that I did not have to twist myself into new forms of praying, but that I could continue to pray as I always had -- more waiting and receiving than "doing."  

And once I began to open myself to what God wanted to give me in prayer for my priest, I was amazed at what began to unfold.  I was beginning to understand that "The Spirit helps us in our weakness," that we truly do not know how to pray, but that the Spirit always gives us what He asks us to do.  In the next entry, I will unfold the things the Holy Spirit began to show me about how to pray in this regard.

God Loves Through Us!

In my line of vision every morning as I pray is a statue of St. Francis; in his hand are two small birds to whom he seems to be speaking.  At his feet is a small lamb and there is a wolf curled against his right leg, looking up at him.  Every time I see this statue, I think that God is loving His creatures through St. Francis.  And then I glance beyond the statue to my back yard, filled with the trees I have cultivated, the plants I have sown, and the grass that I tend weekly.  I love all these things because I have cultivated them -- and because they bring me so much joy and peace every day.

One of my favorite prayers is "Holy Spirit, think Your thoughts in me until Your thoughts become my thoughts."  Once we begin to allow the Spirit of God to breathe through us, think through us, act through us, our vision changes and we begin to see from His perspective.  I cannot think of a better "vocation" than to allow God to love His creation and His creatures through us -- through our eyes, through our minds, through our actions.  What if we could every day say what He wants us to say, do what He wants us to do, go where He wants us to go, and give away what He wants us to give away?

Of course, that means that our "old man," or the "natural man," as St. Paul calls it, must gradually fade away -- and be buried, in fact.  Our natural antipathies cannot be in charge if God is to love His creatures through us.  I remember one time complaining to our prayer group about someone in our neighborhood that bothered me a lot.  In fact, when I would see this guy in front of his house, I would pray that he would stay on his side of the street and not come over to talk to me.  I didn't like feeling this way about anyone, but my "old man"  -- the flesh-- just wanted nothing to do with him.

One of the members of the group suggested that I pray about my feelings (instead of praying that he would stay on his side of the street).  So the next time I was working in my yard and I saw him, I began to place my feelings before God.  Almost immediately, I heard the words in my spirit:  How can you be a blessing to him?  Now this was most definitely NOT what I wanted to hear!  But it made me begin to think along entirely different lines.

I remembered how much he had admired one of my plants which had orange blooms.  He loved the color orange!  So I dug up part of that plant, put it in a nice pot, and brought it over to him. He was clearly touched at the kindness -- evidently most of the other neighbors had been avoiding him the same way I had been doing.  In the conversation that followed, he ended up telling me about a motorcycle accident that had killed his best friend when he was a teen.  The accident was his fault, and it has haunted him all his life.

That conversation has now haunted me.  I have begun to see him not so much as a nuisance but more as a lonely person who has no friends.  I still don't want to be his best friend, but I think my "old man" is beginning to die a little in this regard, and the "new man" created in Jesus Christ is beginning to surface.  How wonderful it would be if we could allow God to love His creatures through us!

Opening to Divine Life

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning....In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it (or overcome it).

No one has ever seen God, but God the only Son, who is at the Father's side, has made Him known.(John 1)

For in Christ, all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head of over every power and authority (Col. 2:9).

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation...for God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him (Col.1:15; 19). 

And the Word was made flesh, and pitched His tent among us (Jn. 1).

The culmination of Matthew's conversion story was that Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house (Matt. 9), along with publicans and sinners "who came to the table with Jesus and His disciples."  

Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone will open to me, I will come in and sup with him, and he with me" (Rev. 3:10).  He sits at our table and we sit at His.  Sometimes we are the host; sometimes He is the Host.  The end of Revelation pictures us seated at the wedding banquet of the Lamb, when He is finally united with His Bride, the Church.  The sinners and publicans, including Matthew, seated at table with Jesus and His disciples is the beginning of that eternal celebration and feast.

To the Greeks, the Logos (Word) was how God manifested Himself to the world.  From the Logos, we know Who God is, we know what He thinks.  And here is the Eternal Word, the exact image of the invisible God, seated at table -- eating -- with sinners.  Now we know that we cannot eat with our enemies; we sit at table with our family and friends.  It is amazing that God, the Eternal God, wants to come to our house, to sit at our table, and to eat with us. Indeed, He calls us His family and His friends.  After the Resurrection, Jesus told Mary Magdalene to go tell His "brothers": "I ascend to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God."

Somehow, the Rising of Jesus has made us His family, and now His God is our God; His Father is our Father. John says that no one has ever seen God, but God the Son has made Him known. If we are seated at His table, we are seated at the table with the Father, and we know Him.  If Jesus is seated at our table, surely it is to reveal to us the Face of God, that we might know Him as Jesus knows Him. 

Jesus has come in the flesh that we might not be afraid to open the door to God, to allow Him to enter our homes and to eat with us.  And the further away from Him we are, the more He goes in search of us.  He does not ask us to be worthy; He only asks that we open to door to Him. 

Formative Influences

The EWTN series The Journey Home features the stories of non-Catholics who somehow find their way into the Catholic Church.  Sometimes the show includes "reverts" also, those cradle Catholics who left the church at some point and then later returned "home."  From watching this series, I know that the three greatest hurdles for most of the non-Catholics are Mary, the Pope, and the Sacrament of Confession.

Strangely enough, it is the unity of the church under one head, the Pope, that most often convinces those who have most closely questioned and studied what they have believed all their lives.  It is the ministers, the theologians, those who have had conversion experiences and who seek to live their faith more deeply who finally come to the realization that Christ would not have left us without the authority to know the truth of what we believe.  Frankly, I am simply amazed at the number of pastors, youth directors, and ministers who come to a point in their ministry where they need to define Truth, and this after years and years of dedicated prayer and study.  It is their search for Truth that finally leads them to the teaching authority of the Catholic church. And in their search, they most often turn to those who have made the same journey of faith -- seminary colleagues or other pastors who have converted to Catholicism.  They want to know "the story," the "journey" of how others have come to believe what they do.

For those not so deeply immersed in the questions of Truth, for the "ordinary churchgoers" or believers, however, the first question they want to ask is "Why do Catholics worship Mary?"  Alternatively, they might ask, "Why do you pray to the saints?"  I could never understand the question about "worshipping" Mary until I finally read an explanation in one of the conversion stories.  I think it was Dr. David Anders' book, The Catholic Church Saved My Marriage, that explained the difference between the Protestant experience of "worship" and that of the Catholic: the Protestant defines "worship" as singing, praying, and preaching.  The Catholic defines worship as the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass-- participating in the total Oblation of Christ on the Cross, His death and resurrection and receiving the Eucharist.  Worship for the Catholic is directed to God the Father in the Person of Christ the Son through the Presence of the Holy Spirit.  Worship is entering into the eternal and ongoing Life and Activity of the Most Holy Trinity through the Sacrifice of the Mass.  There is no "worship" of Mary; she is the one standing at the foot of the cross, offering her most beloved Son in obedience to the will of the Father.  She is the chief "worshipper," and she teaches us as we "worship" with her.

We can sing to Mary, or about her; we can pray to Mary, asking for her help and intercession; we can imitate her submission to God; and we can even preach or listen to sermons about Mary -- none of which constitute "worship" for the Catholic.

When I was a child, my parents had bought a wonderful series of books -- a child's encyclopedia.  One of the books in the set was called People and Great Deeds. I cannot tell you how many times I read that book, a collection of short biographies about famous people.  My three favorite stories -- and formative influences -- were those about Johnny Appleseed, George Washington Carver, and Madame Curie.  Those stories gave me big dreams of great deeds.  I too wanted to help people the way my heroes had done: sowing seeds of trees that would eventually produce apples, or maybe discovering useful scientific secrets that would forever improve people's lives.    Above all, I wanted to be dedicated to something greater than my own life.

In school, I was fortunate enough to read and re-read the lives of the saints.  Our school library had dozens of books about famous saints.  I gobbled up those books as fast as I could read them -- not realizing at the time the influence they were having on my spiritual development.  We are taught to love God with our whole heart, our whole mind, and our whole strength.  But what does that look like?  How do we actually do that?  Just as it takes audio-visual aids to teach us about abstract concepts in chemistry, geometry, and literature, it takes living, breathing people -- saints-- to incarnate for us living examples of what it means to love God and to love our neighbor.  Looking back now, I deeply regret that I did not purchase the lives of the saints for my children along with the Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss books they devoured.

If we are to enter into our faith with conviction and love, we deeply need to see, hear, feel, touch formative influences -- people who have gone before us and who can show us the way "home."  We cannot make it up on our own.  Peter needed the formative influence of Jesus; Clement needed the formative influence of Peter; Ignatious of Antioch and Polycarp of Smyrna both needed the formative influence of St. John the Apostle -- and so the story goes.  Reading and contemplating the lives and the words of Mary and the saints model for us the multiple ways of responding to the Gift of the Father: the Word and the Spirit.

This morning I read these words from an obscure saint that few have ever heard of--St. Emily de Vialor:  If God did not breathe into me the spirit of zeal, my heart would cease to be quickened and then I would not be able to do anything.

Do her words cause me to "worship" Emily?  Far from it, her words cause me to realize how dependent I am upon the Living God, Who constantly breathes His very life and breath into me and into the whole world.  Thanks, Emily, for being one of the formative influences on my spiritual life--for showing me how to love God with my whole heart, my whole mind, and my whole strength!

Seeking Wisdom

  In the book of Sirach, chapter 24, Wisdom "sings her own praises":

From the mouth of the Most High I came forth, and mistlike the covered the earth...come to me, all you that yearn for me, and be filled with my fruits.

I still remember the day I fell in love with Wisdom.  I was in the 8th grade when the nun gave us images of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.  Mine was the Aladdin's Lamp with a small flame imposed above its spout.  Above the image was the word Sapientia, Latin for "Wisdom."  As I colored (or perhaps copied) the image (I don't remember), I remember wanting Wisdom more than anything else.  I'm not sure I knew exactly what it was, but I thirsted for it greatly. (The power of art).

Many many years after that, as I began reading the Bible, I discovered all the passages in Proverbs, Wisdom, and Sirach that speak of Wisdom, and I again yearned for that Gift.  Wisdom describes herself as "fragrant balm, precious myrrh, like the odor of incense, a tree of life for those who find it, sweeter than honey" ….and the list goes on and on.  Someday I need to compile that list and keep it above my desk.

One of my favorite passages has always been the end of Chapter 24 of Sirach:

     He who eats of me will hunger still; he who drinks of me will thirst for more; he who obeys me will not be put to shame; he who serves me will never fail.

    All this is true of the book of the Most High's covenant, the Law which Moses commanded us as an inheritance for the community of Jacob.  It overflows like the Phison, with wisdom--like the Tigris in the days of the new fruits.  It runs over, like the Euphrates, with understanding, like the Jordan at harvest time.  It sparkles like the Nile with knowledge, like the Gihon at vintage time.  The first man never finished comprehending wisdom, nor will the last succeed in fathoming her.  For deeper than the sea are her thoughts; her counsels, than the great abyss.

     Now I, like a rivulet from her stream, channeling the waters into a garden, said to myself, "I will water my plants, my flower bed I will drench"; and suddenly this rivulet of mine became a river, then this stream of mine, a sea.  Thus do I send my teachings forth shining like the dawn, to become known afar off.  Thus do I pour out instruction like prophecy and bestow it on generations to come.

I cannot think of a better way to channel Wisdom into our own gardens than to read one chapter a day of the books of Wisdom and Sirach.  Suddenly, this rivulet will become a flowing stream in our own hearts and begin to flow out of us into the world around us.

Signs That God Loves Us

"So coffee is my greatest vice," I said to the young intern in the emergency room where I had gone for sudden chest pains a few years ago.  "Coffee is not a vice;" he replied definitively, "it is a sign that God loves us!"

As I sat at the beachfront today savoring a now-rare cup of McDonald's coffee, I gazed at the scenery and reflected on his words.  What a great way to live, seeing all around us signs that God loves us.  Once we start, it's as if our eyes and hearts are opened again to how many signs exist.  All of us have places of refuge, of beauty, of peace -- a sign that God loves us.  A garden, a park, a forest of special trees and creatures -- signs that God loves us.  Waves on the sea, the sun that comes up without fail, the moon and stars at night.  People that love us and those we love, meaningful work, and good friends …. just go for a walk with eyes looking for signs that God loves us, and our hearts will sing in gratitude.

Humanity's purpose is to praise God -- to be the soul of creation, and to return thanks to Him Whose Beauty shines through the work of His hands.  Our destiny is to delight in creation as a gift and to give gratitude to the Giver.  Gregory of Nyssa put it this way:  The human voice was fashioned for one reason alone -- to be the threshold through which the sentiments of the heart, inspired by the Holy Spirit, might be translated clearly into the Word itself.  

We were created to praise God.  On this account, we are called to learn to bear the joy of what C.S. Lewis calls "the weight of glory."  We were born to praise and to sing a new song of praise, and  through praise, to enter into communion with God.

The church teaches us how we can increase our ability to deepen and widen our song of praise -- deepening our communion with God and widening it to include all of creation, including the Body of Christ around us. Theology is an attempt to understand the works of God and to catch the rhythm of the Holy Spirit in our praise and thanksgiving.  Once we understand how God has worked in past history, we learn to fit our own stories into the pattern of grace. And once we see Him acting in our lives, we understand ever more fully how He acts in human history.  Church is the place where our perception of the world is altered in order to help us see grace more clearly. Thus we become more sensitive to its presence and more responsive to its promptings in our lives (from The Republic of Grace: Augustinian Thoughts for Dark Times by Charles Matthews).

So many things help us to see the grace all around us -- the casual remark of a young intern, a hot cup of coffee with cream, the breeze across the sand, the stillness of a blue heron, the Body of Christ, the Church:  all signs that God loves us.

Learning from the Little Flower

Lord, help me today to do what You want me to do, to go where You want me to go, to say what You want me to say, and to give away what You want me to give away.

 (From Rome, Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn).

Much as I have wanted to, I have never been able to identify myself as a "servant of Jesus Christ."  It seems hypocritical to even think of doing so, when I see myself as serving myself and choosing what I want at every minute of the day. I think I may have  written this years ago, but I'll tell the story again of the time when I earnestly and sincerely said to the Father, "I just want to be of use to You." In my spirit, I "heard" a long, pregnant pause, the kind of thing that would happen when one makes a social faux pas at a sophisticated gathering.  And then, for the only time in my life,  I heard God laugh!  It was the kind of roaring, full laughter that immediately pulls you into it -- and I started laughing out loud too.  In my mind, I had a vivid image of a two-year-old pushing a chair up to the sink, saying, "I wash the dishes for you, Mommy."  

Yes, first, Mom has to remove anything breakable or valuable.  Then she has to throw in all the plastic stuff, so toddler will have a good time splashing things around.  Then, after a few minutes, when baby gets bored, she has to clean up the mess he made.

"Be of use to God?"......Hardly.  And yet......somehow, He has made it true.  He has given us dominion over the work of His hands, to guard, nurture, and protect His work.  And truly, what we do does make a difference, for better or for worse.  We build up, build a fence around, and till the soil to productivity to feed the world -- or we poison and destroy it beyond repair.  We feed, clothe, and educate His children -- or we neglect them while we watch soap operas or twitter on our cell phones.

It does make a difference to God and to the earth what we do and how we do it every day.  The book of Ecclesiastes says, Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your heart (9:10), and If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the roof leaks (10:18).

My problem with seeing myself as "useful to God," or a "servant" of Jesus Christ, I think, stems from my vision of doing "great" things for God.  But learning from the Little Flower of Jesus (St. Therese of Liseux) and from Mother Teresa of Calcutta is much more realistic.  St. Therese saw herself as a plaything of the Child Jesus, as a ball thrown into the corner.  If the Child Jesus decided to leave her there, unseen and forgotten all day, then it pleased her to lie there unseen and forgotten, for that was His choice.  If He decided to pick her up and play with her, then she was pleased to please Him.  She said that if one picks up a pin from the floor for love of God, the act was of great merit. ( Because of her, I always pick up Kleenex and cheerios from the floor of the church after parents have left with their small children, and because of her I do it with love instead of with criticism.)

Mother Teresa realistically said, "We cannot all do great things, but we can all do small things with great love," echoing the words of Ecclesiastes.  Someone said to me recently: "Stretch out your hand.  Whatever you find at the end of your arm is what you can do today."  Yes, my vision definitely extends way beyond the reach of my arm, and so I think I cannot help solve the problems of hunger, of misery, of loneliness, of child abuse, of meanness of spirit, of selfishness --- and the list goes on.  But I can do what is put before me today, just today.  

I remember once ending my time of prayer and asking God what He wanted me to do today.  Immediately the thought went through my head: "Clean out the litterboxes!"  Whoever thinks that God does not have a sense of humor has clearly never heard Him laugh or heard His Voice!

Agent of Transformation

It makes sense, now that we know it, that we alone, unaided by the Holy Spirit, could never reach into the Presence and Power of Divine Life.  Despite all the sacrifices of pagan worship and of Old Testament rituals, man cannot give himself peace or communion with God.  Jesus told Nicodemus that unless we are born from above, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

Everything is Gift:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, faithfulness, and self-control.  None of these come from man's nature.  And it is when we discover the lack of these gifts in ourselves that we begin to search for the Giver of all good gifts.  We were made for joy, for love, for kindness -- we were made to be the image of Him Who created us.  But sin has marred the Image and robbed us of divine life.  The sinner cannot re-create himself in the Image of God; only God Himself can remake us.

The Holy Spirit is the Agent of Transformation.  St. Seraphim tells us that whatever we do in the Christian practice, the aim is always to acquire the Holy Spirit.  Whether we fast, pray the rosary, attend mass, or confess our sins --- always, always, the goal is acquisition of the Holy Spirit.  He alone can achieve in us the death of the old man and the formation of the "new creation," created to be the image of God.

From baptism, we have the seed of eternal life.  And it is not a dead seed, but one that takes root and grows in us throughout our lives, if we but till the spiritual soil and allow the rain of grace to fall in our hearts.  Grace is the Presence and Action of God in us, nourishing the seed of divine life.  In so many hearts, the seed is allowed to wither and even die as we are drawn more and more to the attractions of the world.  Eden's "apple" still draws our eyes and our hearts, until we bite and discover the nakedness and emptiness of its promises.

But, as at the beginning, the Holy Spirit hovers over the chaos, the void, breathing new life.  And when we experience that new life, we know its Source and cling to Him with no faith in our own abilities.  "If you knew the Gift of God," Jesus tells the woman at the well whose life has turned to dust and loneliness, "if you knew  the Gift of God, you would ask, and I would give you, water springing up to eternal life."

"Ask and you shall receive......for God the Father knows how to give good gifts to those who ask."  Asking for the Gift that He wants to give is the first step in transformation.  And He will not refuse one who asks.  Nothing else will ever matter once we know that we have received the Gift of God.

The Monkey Brain

Yesterday on Facebook, I saw a video on meditation by a Buddhist monk.  I had heard the expression "the monkey brain" before, but had never really thought about what it meant.  It's a good expression, giving us an image of the chattering, leaping-around brain that cannot be stilled.  When I took a course in college on Second Language Acquisition, I learned that the language center of the brain is always active; it cannot be stilled; nor can it be turned off.

Anyone who has ever tried to pray will instantly recognize and relate to the monkey brain.  We call it "distraction."  Immediately we sit down and become quiet, and the monkey brain begins to remind us of all the things we have to do.  In fact, we are instantly tempted to get up and do those things right away -- pay the bills, load the dishwasher, call a friend, etc.  Or, if not things to do, the monkey brain will begin to center on past grievances.  We endlessly rehearse situations in which we were hurt, or even slightly disturbed, when conversations did not go our way, or when someone slightly disagreed with our opinions.  We justify our position and mentally dismiss that of the other person.  But no matter how many times we "go over" things, the monkey brain is still not satisfied.  Like a two-year old who wants the same book read again and again, the monkey brain loves to play the same video in our heads, reinforcing the feelings which we may or may not want to strengthen.  The monkey brain controls our thoughts; we do not control it.

St. Teresa of Avila addressed distraction in prayer by telling her sisters to simply treat it as a two-year old child jumping up and down and saying "Momma, Momma, Momma."  Just look over the shoulder of the monkey brain at the Person of Jesus standing quietly behind it.  Just gaze at His Image standing there, and the gaze is enough, even when we cannot formulate a thought.

I remember when my Dad stopped smoking after having smoked all of his life.  As a child, I had no concept of how difficult that must have been, when everything in your body and mind are screaming for comfort and the nicotine rush.  Years later, after I had become so addicted to coffee that I needed it to function and even to think clearly, I asked my Dad how he had successfully given up smoking.  "Every time I wanted a cigarette," he said, "I would say a Hail Mary."

Here's the connection:  the monkey brain and the addictions of the body are very much related to one another:  they crave, even demand, attention, and will not allow us to rest until we cave in to them.  They cannot be stilled, and they cannot be turned off.  On the facebook video, the monk acknowledged that.  He did not advise people to "discipline" or to ignore the monkey brain; instead his advice was to "give the monkey brain a job, something to do."  He tells the monkey brain to pay attention to breathing: breathe in; breathe out.  "Good idea," says the monkey brain, "I will watch the breath."  That occupies the language center and allows us to gaze at God just as we would distract the two-year-old demanding attention by giving him an engaging toy.

The "repeater prayers" of the Rosary have the same effect on the mind.  They are designed to calm the monkey brain by giving it a job -- occupying the language center with something to do -- so that the mind can focus or meditate on something beyond our usual mental occupations: rehearsing what someone said or did to us, or what we have to do today.

[Some of what we call "distraction" may actually be the Holy Spirit, the Helper, putting our lives in order.  I keep a small notebook and a pen beside the chair where I pray in order to jot down things that come to me in prayer -- reminders of things I have to do.  Once the brain is satisfied that we will take care of the business of its concern, it will rest.  And I have put those things under the direction of the Holy Spirit, so I can rest also.]

Whenever I teach the class on prayer in RCIA, someone usually brings up a common objection to the Rosary from the Protestant standpoint -- that is, Jesus' teaching on prayer from Matthew 6:7:  When you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  And then Jesus gives them the Our Father, a "formula prayer," if you will.  I do not think Jesus is referring here to "repeater prayers," but rather to making a show of prayer.  If we read the context of Matthew 6, it becomes more clear.

St. Paul tells us in Ephesian 6 to "pray in the Spirit on all occasions."  His prayer in the Spirit seems to refer to praying in tongues  (see Corinthians 11-13).  After many years of praying in tongues, I have come to the conclusion that the Rosary and the prayer in the Spirit have the same effect -- both occupy the language center of the brain so that our spirit is free to commune with God without the distraction of words.  A mother speaks to her infant in the womb without words.  Before the child can speak or even understand, parents croon and speak a "prayer language" that the child understands with his/her spirit.  God does not need our words; in any case, the words of the Our Father are really all we need if we dwell on them.  But we need to communicate with our heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit.  And often, the only way to do so is to keep the monkey brain occupied with a task that allows our spirits to soar free!

The Great Adventure of Life

Paul Tournier (12 May 1898 – 7 October 1986) was a Swiss physician and author who had acquired a worldwide audience for his work in pastoral counseling . His ideas had a significant impact on the spiritual and psychosocial aspects of routine patient care, and he has been called the twentieth century's most famous Christian physician. I discovered Paul Tournier's book The Person Reborn about 20 years ago, and I was stunned by his insights into the human spirit. Fortunately, I copied a chapter of the book at the time I was reading it, and later made a number of copies to share with a class I was teaching on the bible. While cleaning out files last week, I found the copied chapter and began re-reading this master of the spiritual life. Reading the chapter more than once made me go find Tournier's book on my shelf (still there even after a hurricane and a move from Louisiana to Mississippi). In accord with my decision to pass along some of the best ideas I have encountered, I am happy to share the following excerpt: We are like a child who has been given a beautiful mechanical toy as a Christmas present. His father says to him: "Come along, and I'll show you how to make it go. The child replies: "No, I want to do it myself!" He tries, gets angry and sulky, takes it to pieces, damages it, and finally admits his incompetence. Defeated, he hands it to his father saying: "There, you make it work." We too have received a beautiful and very complicated toy: life. We try to make it work on our own. We think we are having some success; but then things begin to go wrong, and we run into personal or social disasters. the more we struggle to put things right with our own strength, the worse does the situation become, until at last we come back to God, and offering our lives to him, say: "Take over; I can't manage it on my own." I am always struck by the extreme simplicity of this decisive inner movement. From then on a man has a new attitude. He has realized that only the Author of life can coordinate all the complicated mechanisms that go to make up life. He does not have to disown the intellect, science, or technology; he simply decides that now he will ask God how to use them He surrenders himself; he hands over his life, his person, all his faculties, and all his possessions to God, not knowing what He will do with them. He renounces grand personal plans. He lives each moment as it comes, step by step, eagerly seeking to know what God expects of him. I have stressed the difficulty of know what God's guidance is. I must now assert that despite all the hidden reefs and all our mistakes, God's guidance is more precious and more fruitful than anything else. Seeking after it in every circumstance of our lives is a wonderful adventure -- the great adventure of life with God. It takes all those who commit themselves to it much farther than they expect. It is the source of an ever-buoyant enthusiasm. When I have talked to people about "accepting their lives," they have often objected that it is difficult. I am as convinced of this as they are. I think now that it is preferable to speak of "loving one's life," which is a less passive term. The positive adventure resulting from the abandonment of one's life to Christ makes it possible, gladly to accept everything in that life that remains painful, and in spite of it to love one's life, because even suffering becomes a source of adventure. Pascal laid stress on the boredom, the inner void, which man is constantly trying to forget. "It is unbelievable," a woman writes in a letter to me, "how life repeats itself. We change our surroundings and our jobs, but our outlook remains the same." There are many who think that, until they find that when they give their lives to God, their outlook changes fundamentally overnight, and the result is that everything changes around them. I am so grateful to authors like Paul Tournier who have the gift of putting into words what I have experienced in my life. It is frustrating to know things that I cannot express clearly, but it is such a joy to discover and then to re-discover people who can speak the Truth of experience into my very soul.

Rhema!

Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him (I Sam. 3:7).

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God...and this is the word that was preached to you (I Peter 1:23).

Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent, and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you (James 1:21).

Before the "Word of the Lord" was ever written, it was always spoken.  That is, the "Word of the Lord" is, as Hebrews tells us, a "living and active" word, "sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow...." (Heb. 4:12).  St. James tells us that [God] chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created (I:18).   The Word of God is not merely a concept, an idea, an expression of meaning in an intellectual sense, but it lives and moves and delivers in the sense of bringing to birth.

The Greek of the New Testament actually uses two different words for what is translated into English as "Word" of the Lord.  The Logos is the Word, the Divine Expression or Manifestation from the beginning, as John tells; Rhema is the Word that is spoken to us, the Word that comes to us, or that comes alive in us.

Scripture tells us that the Word of the Lord stands forever (Is. 40:8).  It is outside of us, objectively alive apart from whether we know and recognize it or not.  It "comes;" it is fulfilled; it is creative; it rules history.  One time I looked up the meaning of "word" in the Hebrew and discovered that the "Word of the Lord" is the Proclamation of God, the Promise of God, the Purpose (Plan) of God, the Provision of God, the Providence of God, and the Power of God to accomplish all that it says.

The Word of the Lord (Logos) stands forever with us or without us; it does not need us to be true or to accomplish its purpose.  But each one of us, like Samuel, must eventually come into some kind of relationship with the Word of the Lord.  It must be revealed to us (Rhema) as living and true if we are, like Samuel, to "know" the Lord.  God reveals Himself by His impact on the life of individuals and on the history of His people.  His Truth (I am the Truth) is not a religious system of principles, but a way to be followed step by step.  God reveals Truth to us by revealing Himself.

God is a living Person.  It is not enough to study Scripture if it does not lead us to an encounter with the Living God, Who personally intervenes in our lives -- creating us, saving us, purifying us, lifting us up as He did throughout all of history.

From the beginning, when the Word of the Lord came to people, it lifted them up and moved them to act: Abraham, Moses, Joshua, the Prophets, the Apostles (Pentecost), etc.  It moved not only the mind of man, but also his heart and body.  We say that all Scripture is inspired by God, but that inspiration is not restricted to the time of the actual writing of it.  Rather, the inspiration continues to our reading of it as well.  The same Living Holy Spirit Who hovered over the divine writer still hovers over us as we read or listen to the Word of the Lord.  We await His Rhema, His speaking to us a living Word which impacts our hearts, minds, souls, and lives.

No one can experience Scripture without the inbreathing of the Holy Spirit.  We can study the Word for years, but until we are born again of water and the Spirit, we cannot understand or know the One who explains all things to us.  Prayer is not just saying things to God, but awaiting His Word to us, His living Word, the One that brings us to new life and reveals not just ideas to us, but God Himself.

Let us begin; let us ask; let us ask for a new and living Word.  He is waiting for us.

Magnificat

My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior!

In the opening lines of Mary's "Magnificat," we have a wonderful secret:  that is, when the soul "magnifies" the Lord, the spirit "rejoices."

I don't know how many people have ever made a distinction between the soul and the spirit, or considered the relationship between the two.  But it is clear that what the soul does has a huge impact upon the spirit.  Deuteronomy 6:5 commands us to Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  If we consider that our "humanness" or "personness" is made up of body, soul, and spirit, we see a correspondence to the command.

Whenever the Bible refers to the heart, it is referring to the inner core, the spirit.  In fact, the two words are used interchangeably throughout the Old Testament.  Many people consider that the spirit and the soul are interchangeable terms, but they are not. Our "soul" consists of our will, our emotions, and our mind, or intellect.  The soul is the intermediary between the body and the spirit.  If our minds are affected by Altzheimer's or dementia, our will and our emotions are diminished also, but we are still the same "person," or "spirit."

The spirit is the part of us where God indwells, the part of us that is most in communion with the Spirit of the Lord.  It does not depend on our holy thoughts, or on our emotions, which may be all over the place, or even totally shut down.  We often choose the wrong things in life, but our spirits can still be the dwelling place of the Most High.  This is a hard concept, but an example from the Old Testament can make it more clear:  David's "soul" went astray in a disastrous way at one point in his life.  He directed his "soul" toward the wrong things:  his mind dwelt on the forbidden wife of Uriah; his will made horrible choices, because of his wayward emotions.  As a result, his spirit-- the part of him most connected to God -- was cast down in grief.  He was separated from fellowship, or communion, with the Most High.  In a sense, he was separated from the part of himself that was most himself, his inner core -- the part of him that was the image and likeness of God.

And yet, even in his sin, God said of David, "I have found a man after my own heart -- that is, after my own spirit.

It helps to picture these distinctions if we can imagine ourselves as a composite of three concentric circles.  The innermost, or smallest, circle represents the spirit, or core, or our personality.  The second circle represents our "soul," and the outermost circle represents the body.  Obviously, the whole personality works together and one "part" of us is deeply connected to and affects the other "parts."

I love the Magnificat because it so illustrates how the parts affect one another.  Mary says, "My soul magnifies the Lord!"  If we take that apart and reflect on its meaning, we see that Mary's mind, will, and emotions "magnify" the Lord.  We would call that prayer, to begin with:  her mind is focused on what God has done not only for her, but for His people, according to His promise.  She is familiar with the promise of God, the history of her people.  She has been thinking about what God has promised.  For the Jews, study was a form of prayer, and every synagogue had study rooms, where one could go to study the Scriptures.

When we read Scripture, we are directing our minds to the promises of God, to how He has fulfilled His promises throughout history.  And the result of directing our minds to the works of God is that our emotions are also directed to Him in faith, hope, and love, that He will continue to work in our history as He has worked in the past.  And so our wills are strengthened to choose the work of God over the work of Satan and the work of the world.

I learned a long time ago, that, although we all seek "joy," we cannot give ourselves joy, any more than we can give ourselves love, peace, or any of the other fruits of the Spirit.  These are called "fruits" because they are the result of the Spirit dwelling in us and imparting to us the inner life of the Most Holy Trinity.  Joy resides in our spirit, not in our minds, emotions, or wills.  It is the result, or the overflow, of directing our "souls" in prayer to consider what God has done for us.

My soul doth magnify the Lord -- we turn our magnifying glasses (souls) upon the works of God -- and my spirit rejoices in what He has done for me, for us, for mankind.

If we want to dance with the world, that is where our souls will turn to "magnify" the sounds of the world. But no matter how frantically we spin, our spirits will never rejoice, and we cannot make them do so.  If we want to dance with God in our spirits, we must first turn our souls to magnify His Name!

Closer Than Our Breath and Our Thoughts

In my last entry, I wrote, "We don't often realize how close the Helper is to us -- closer than our breath and our thoughts..."  Yesterday, I had an amazing experience of how true that statement is.

I had gone in for a bronchoscope because my latest CT scan showed a spot that had grown somewhat since the scan done in 2016.  Unlike the first time I had the procedure in 2010, I was a little apprehensive about this one.  In 2010, the CT scan showed a tumor covering the entire right lung; all the doctor had to do was grab a piece from the top. This time, there was a small circle at the bottom and rear of the left lung -- a place much more difficult to reach with the bronchoscope.  According to my doctor, they could not have reached that spot until 2 years ago, but now they have developed radiologically-guided scopes that can get there.

Given my allergies and reactions to all kinds of medicines and anesthetics, and given the location of the spot, I wondered whether the procedure was not more dangerous than the area of concern.  The video-tutorial sent by the hospital, detailing all the things that could possibly go wrong did not help either.  However, I asked Father Mike to anoint me the day before the procedure and continued in prayer up until the next day.

From the moment Father began to recite the scripture from James 5:14*, a profound peace came upon me, deepening even more--almost to the point of sleep-- with his anointing.  All that day, and the next -- the day of the procedure -- all I had to do was to recall the anointing, and the peace returned afresh.  As I lay in the pre-op room, peace and joy surrounded me, and I found myself contented to pray for others for the three hours I had to wait.

As I opened my eyes in the recovery room, I discovered the 23rd Psalm literally dancing through my mind -- from beginning to end, with absolutely no effort on my part to recall the words or even to think about what I was saying.  It was as though a video of the words, with beautiful sound, was playing in my head.  I felt that it was more like I was seeing them unfold before my eyes than that I was thinking about them:  The Lord is my Shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.  He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul.

The video slowed down significantly at the words, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for Thou art with me.  Thy rod and Thy staff, they give me comfort....You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

And the Psalm continued all the way to the end.  I was amazed that there had been no effort at all on my part to remember the words or the sequence of them.

I lay there for a few moments, feeling like a small child being bathed in the Word of the Lord  - a Word that brought peace to my entire being: body, mind, and soul.  The recovery nurse saw me lying there smiling and began speaking to me, asking me questions.  Here was the amazing thing -- because of the anesthesia, I could not recall the answers to the simplest questions she asked.  My mind seemed to still be "under" or have gone on vacation.  I was trying hard to relate to her, in simple conversation.  She was asking about retirement and travel, and I could not recall the names of the places I had been to, even though I could see the pictures in my mind.   Thinking about this after she left, I was even more amazed that the 23rd Psalm had, in a sense, floated before me so vividly -- every word -- without any effort on my part.  I doubt that I could have recalled it if I had tried, but I had not "tried" at all.  It was just there, in front of me, when I woke up.  And it had power: more like be ministered TO me rather than coming from me:

The word of God is living and active, more powerful than any two-edged sword,... judging the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

Psalm 119 says,    I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you (v. 11).

And,                      I am laid low in the dust; renew my life according to your word (v, 25).

And,                     My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word (v. 28).

Isaiah 55:            As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The Holy Spirit, the Helper, is closer to us than our breath and our thoughts.  When we are laid low in the dust, He is present, bending over us as on the day of Creation, breathing into us the powerful and uplifting Word of the Lord:  Light! Be!  Of what should we be afraid?  The Lord is with us, and He still sends His Word to create, to heal, to redeem us!

* [The words from James 5:  Is any one of you sick? He should call the priests of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.  If he has sinned, he will be forgiven....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.]