A Voice in the Wilderness

 On this third Sunday of Advent, we read about John the Baptist who identified himself as "a voice crying in the wilderness, make straight the path of the Lord."

And I wonder if all of us, despite our shortcomings and insufficiencies, could at least be "a voice," making clear to others what we have seen and heard of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  Speaking not so much what we "believe" about Jesus, but rather telling of what we have experienced of Him.  I keep going back to Thomas Aquinas saying that man is a "knower," not a thinker.  That is, we know what we have seen, tasted, smelled, and touched more than what we have heard about from others.  

In his first letter, John the Evangelist says, That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched -- this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us.  We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you may have fellowship with us.

It seems to me that people believe in Jesus at some point in their lives because of what they have experienced of Him.  Up to a point, we are Christians because of our culture, our inheritance, or our education.  But if we have not "seen with our eyes, touched with our hands," faith eventually becomes an abstraction non-competitive with the things we "know" for ourselves.

And that is where prayer becomes irreplaceable.  If our early faith has not drawn us to prayer, we have no relationship with God -- and thus we have not experienced His Presence and action in our lives.  And without seeing for ourselves what we have heard from others, we fail to believe and thus to trust. Our faith grows cold for lack of evidence.

C.S.Lewis as an atheist had often heard about belief from his friend Tolkein, but it was not until "the most reluctant convert in all of England" got down on his knees and began to pray that Lewis began to enter into a life-long relationship with God.  And as a result of that relationship, "surprised by joy," Lewis himself became a voice crying out in the wilderness, testifying to what he himself had seen and heard of the Divine.

It was the joy that Lewis experienced, the joy for which he had yearned his entire life, that convinced him of the reality of Christ.  It was what he himself had seen and heard, had touched with his own hands, that he proclaimed to the world.  So with all of us!

Knowing God

Now this is eternal life: that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent (Jn. 17:3)

  I have written before about "eternal life," not as a series of unending days, but rather as a kind of vibrancy of life despite all else that human life may offer ---grief, sadness, boredom, poverty, etc.  The "pearl of great price" for which someone may give all that he has is a peace, joy, enthusiasm that over-rides daily vicissitudes.  And this eternal life is the gift of God given to us in Jesus!  It is nothing else but participation in divine life.

So the question today is how do we come to "know" God, the only true God, and Jesus Christ?  St. Thomas Aquinas says that man is a "knower," not a "thinker."  That is, while a great many people like to "think" God, there are a few --- let's hope a great many --- who actually "know" Him.  Over a period of a lifetime, they come to know Him in all the ways the Bible describes Him -- as their Shepherd, as a Shield, and as "the lifter of my head."  They come to know Him as a "rock," and a "hiding place," as Defender and Provider ("Give us this day our daily bread").  Above all, they come to know Him as Jesus revealed Him, as Father -- and Jesus as the Doorway to the Father ("No one comes to the Father but by Me!")

So how do we move from "thinking" God to "knowing" Him?  In this week's (Nov. 12) Sunday homily, Bishop Barron says that God is like a helicopter pilot looking for a place to land in our lives.  He is just waiting for us to clear a space for Him to land, to enter into our lives.  We tend to think that man has been looking for God, whereas God has been looking for us from the beginning.  We do not have to earn anything -- we just have to clear away enough of life's clutter to make an opening for Him to land.  

Usually, it is hardship or difficulty that creates the first space for God to enter --- when we have exhausted our own resources and run out of our own strength.  The moment we finally look up and say, "Help me!" is often the place of entry for God in our lives.  And when we begin to experience His nearness, His help, we begin to know Him.

In the desert of Arabia, the Egyptian slave girl Hagar encountered God.  Twice.  The first time, she had run away from the encampment of Abraham and Sarah because she was being mistreated.  But the angel of the Lord found her in the desert, and God promised her a great increase of descendants, just as He had promised Abraham.  At that time, Hagar gave God a name: You are the God who sees me!  She said, "I have now seen the One who sees me!"  She no longer "thought" about God; she had actually entered into a relationship with "the One who sees me."  She could live with confidence that she was seen and known by the living God.

Hagar's second recorded encounter with God comes in chapter 21 of Genesis, when Abraham sends her away because of conflict between the two women.  This time, "God heard the boy crying," and Hagar herself was sobbing. The angel said, "Do not be afraid, Hagar. God has heard the boy crying."  At that time, God (The One who sees me) provided water in the desert for her and her son.  Though Scripture does not record it, she may now have known God as "The One Who hears me!" (cf. Psalm 34).

If we are more confident that God is looking for a way to enter our lives, we may not have to wait for a disaster to open the door to Him.  Barron recommends 5 minutes a day to simply say, "I believe You want to come into my life!  I open the door now. Please let me know You as the One who sees me, the One who hears me!"

Words That Create

 As Saint Augustine has observed, all of us want a "blessed life," happiness.  We rarely know what it is like or how it will be, but we feel attracted to it.  This is a universal hope, common to men and women of all times and all places.  The expression "eternal life" aims to give a name to this irrepressible longing; it is not an unending succession of days, but an immersion of oneself in the ocean of infinite love, in which time, before and after, no longer exists.  A fullness of life and of joy: it is this that we hope for and await from our being with Christ.  (Pope Benedict XVI, Angelus 2008)

Jesus instructed His disciples:  Whatever house you enter, first say, "Peace be to this household!"  If a son of peace is there, it will remain upon him.  If not, it will return to you. (Luke 10:5)

Now the Hebrew word for "Peace" is Shalom.  However, "Shalom" means so much more than "Peace." When spoken to friends and family, the word includes the intentions for Safety, Welfare, Health, Prosperity, Quiet, Tranquility, Contentment, and Friendship.  This is what Benedict XIV refers to as a "blessed life," happiness, the goal of every man, woman, and child.

In his treatise on the Eucharist (This is My Body),  Bishop Robert Barron points out that there are words that describe or explain ("It's a beautiful sunset!), and there are words that create what they express, such as when an umpire cries, "You're OUT!  In the book of Genesis, we hear that creation occurred through a series of speech-acts.  When God spoke, "LIGHT! BE!" light was.  When He said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind," so it happened.  The Divine Word is active, creative, and according to Hebrews 4:12, "sharper than any two-edged sword."  It does what it says!  So when Jesus said, "Peace be to you," it was no idle wish that peace would come to his listeners.  It was rather an active, creating word that accomplished what it said (See Is. 55:10-11).

When Jesus said at the Last Supper, "This is my Body," He did not say, "This is a symbol of My Body." He was not describing or explaining; He was creating.  His words create what they express!  and when we receive what He has created, He brings with Him His own Peace/ Shalom -- the blessed life for which we all hope and pray!  Peace be with you!

Who is God to You?

 I was reading Sirach recently and came across the beginning of Chapter 23, addressed as a prayer to God:  Lord, Father and Master of my life.....  

It helps to know here that the word translated as "Lord" in all of our Bibles is really Yahweh in the Hebrew.  The Jews would not pronounce the Sacred Name, so they inserted the vowels for Adonai (Lord) in their scriptures.  However, the Jewish mind was conditioned to know that "Lord" was code for Yahweh, the Name God gave to Moses.  Our minds have no such conditioning; to me, the appellation "Lord" is more abstract and less personal than Yahweh.  The former is a title; the latter a name, much as the English custom of calling someone "Lord Wentworth" rather than "James." 

So let us begin again with Yahweh, Father and Master of my life.... 

Immediately, this prayer has a different feel to it. Somehow, it feels as if God has immediately drawn closer to us, listening....

I venture to guess that most of us begin our prayers with " O God," followed by our requests, without recognizing or thinking about Who God is, Who is the Person we address in our prayer. And yet....spending some time recognizing the One to Whom we speak adds so much to our prayer and to our relationship with the Divine Being.  For the writer of Sirach, God is "Father and Master of my life," and the prayer thus becomes even more meaningful as he asks to be protected from careless speech that inadvertently harms others.

I have asked people who God is to them, and the first answer is usually "Creator."  or "Lord."  We don't get much beyond that, but then, they are not really in prayer, so the question is not fair in a sense.  Once we assume the attitude of prayer, however, we begin to move into another dimension, and the Holy Spirit comes to our aid, teaching us what to say.  

One of the greatest helps to knowing Who God Is is the Psalms.  For example, Psalm 17 says, To you I call, for you will surely heed me, O God. Turn your ear to me; hear my words. Guard me as the apple of your eye; in the shadow of your wings protect me.  Turning this prayer into recognition of God's Person might look like this:

Yahweh, You are the One who turns your ear to me and hears my words.  You guard me as the apple of your eye and protect me in the shadow of your wings.....Knowing this, I turn to You in my distress.  Help me, O Lord!  

Now, recognizing the One to Whom we pray, we have more confidence that our prayers are heard--- not because of who we are, but because of Who He Is! 

Why the Journey?

 From the time of Abraham, Genesis chapter 12, the pattern of the journey has run throughout Scripture: Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, the Israelites...   And once the Israelites are settled in their own land, they are driven out to another kind of journey --- exile, and eventually the return to Israel.

I have often thought it worthwhile to deeply study the journey of Jacob.  We do not have enough details about Abraham's journey to see what the journey is all about.  But in the case of Jacob, we see daily struggles and questions along the way.  

When Jacob first flees from the anger of his brother Esau, he meets the God of Israel, the God of his fathers, who tells him:  I am the Lord, the God of your fathers Abraham and the God of Isaac.  I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying.  ...All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you where you go, and I will bring you back to this land.  I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you.

Jacob's response to God's revelation was this:  If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's house, then the Lord [Yahweh] will be my God.

Jacob's journey is full of pain and struggles.  His father-in-law, Laban, is somewhat of a scoundrel, and Jacob the deceiver learns how painful it is to be deceived himself -- not only in the case of Rachel, but again and again over the next 20 years of deceitfulness on the part of Laban.  Through all of his struggles, however, the Spirit of God guides Jacob to victory.  In the end, he comes to peace/covenant not only with Laban but with his brother Esau, who had been angry enough to kill him at one point.

God renamed Jacob "Israel" because he had prevailed both with God and with man.  Toward the end of his life, Jacob instructs his sons to return to Bethel, where he had first met God, who answered me in my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone (Gen. 35).

In the book of Jeremiah, God says, For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future... You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, and will bring you back from captivity....and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.

Our lives are journies full of fear, of uncertainty, of "enemies" who prevail over us for a time.  But the journey eventually leads us to seek the Lord with all our hearts --- and then we will find Him, the One who makes us prevail with man and with God himself!  We will come to know God, as Jacob did, as the One "who answered me in my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone!

All These Images....

 I said yesterday that we think in images, and that without an image we cannot think.  Based on my own experience, it seems that one of the difficulties that we have today in relating to God is our lack of poetic images.  More and more, our educational system eliminates art, poetry, and classical literature --- all rich sources of the kind of imagery that fuels the imagination.

When C.S. Lewis wrote The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, he cautioned parents not to explain the imagery to their children. The images needed to stand on their own until the time that the children themselves began to grow into their meanings.  Once they had encountered Jesus as active in their own lives, they could then relate to the lion, the witch, and the winter of sin.

One of the greatest benefits for me in having learned biblical imagery is the way it has influenced my prayer and my relationship to God.  If our only image of God is that of some Great Power in the sky, our prayer and our relationship will be poor indeed.  That is the principal reason for the Incarnation of Jesus as the Son of God in our midst --- to change and to define our image of Who God Is!

Reading the Psalms can resurface the entire playing field of the way we relate to God.  From some Great Power in the sky, He becomes my Comfort, my Shield, my Stronghold, and the "Lifter of my head."

All who take refuge in you shall be glad, and ever cry out their joy.

 You shelter them; in you they rejoice, those who love your name.

It is you who bless the righteous, O Lord, 

You surround them with your favor like a shield. ....(Ps. 5)

The children of men seek shelter in the shadow of your wings. (Ps.36) 

In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit is the Comforter, the Advocate, the Counselor, the Dove, the Water springing up to eternal life.

How rich our spiritual lives are with all these images.... and how poor without them! 

 

 

 

God Who Acts

 Scientists tell us that we think in images, and that if we don't have an image, we cannot really know.  St. Thomas Aquinas said that man is a "knower," not a "thinker"  -- that is, knowledge begins in the senses and then we think about what we know from observation.

I would venture to say that for most people, our image of God is that of Someone Who has given certain rules for mankind, and now He is "resting," sitting in heaven from which viewpoint He is mostly observing man's behavior.  

On the contrary, however, the Bible is not a book of maxims, rules, and inspirational quotations.  It is a book of history.  Our God is a God Who Acts.  And our theology is one of recital of what God has done.  He acted in the life of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph....in the life of Moses and of the Israelites.  He acted in Joshua and the Judges, in the life of David, of Solomon, of the kings of Israel, in the lives of the prophets Isaiah, Jeremiah, and the prophets.  He acted in the life of Mary and Joseph, in Elizabeth and Zachery, in John the Baptist, and in Jesus.....in Peter and Paul, John, Andrew, and the rest of the Apostles.  He acted in Nicodemus at night, in Ignatius of Antioch and Polycarp, in St. Augustine and in Pope John Paul II .... and in US!.

When the Jews come together in celebration of Passover, they recite the saving actions of God in their lives, and acknowledge with thanksgiving what He has done for them.  When Christians come together in worship, they read history and give thanks for what God has done for them in Jesus Christ. 

So our image of God must change from that of a remote and distant figure watching us act to that of Someone Acting here and now in our lives today.   We call that "Action of God in our lives" the Holy Spirit.  He speaks TO us and IN us, revealing God to us in the events of our lives.  And He speaks FOR us to God when we hardly know how to pray (Romans 8:28).  

Jesus promised to send us the Advocate -- a legal term designating our representative in a court of law:  Someone who advises us how to act and how to speak -- and Someone who speaks on our behalf.  He is not "resting;" He is very active on our behalf every moment of our lives.  

Once we change our image of God, we will begin to "see" Him in our lives and then to "know" Him, not from what we have heard, but from what we have experienced.  As Job put it:  My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you!

He Saves Me Time

 One of the "gifts" the Holy Spirit brings to us is "practicality."  He who drew order out of chaos can also order our lives.  I once heard someone say, "I don't have time not to pray."  I get that.  When I was working, I had to wake up hours early to start the day with prayer because I had so much to do that I knew I could not get it done without divine guidance on a daily basis.  

Now that I am retired, time is no longer the crunch factor, so I tend to drift without much planning.  But still, I find the need for divine guidance on a daily basis.  Now that the awful heat of summer has broken and there is a little coolness in the air, I am ready to enjoy my garden.  I woke up this morning thinking I would go to Lowe's and survey their new fall plants before I got too dirty and too exhausted from working outside.  As I was getting dressed, I began to pray, "Lord, direct my feet into the way of peace."  I often say this prayer because I find the Holy Spirit frequently leads me physically even before my head catches up to the plan.  I don't always "plan" the best course of action, but I find the Lord leads me into green pastures and beside still waters without my knowing it ahead of time.

As I prayed. I suddenly realized that I had an appointment this afternoon to have the car serviced -- at a location just past Lowe's --- and that I could stop at the garden center on my way home.  Oh!  Yes!  Much more efficient than running out there this morning when I could be in the garden instead.  

Guide my feet into the way of peace. Such a short prayer, but so much better than a planning session!

The Living Word of God

 I love you, Lord, my strength;
O Lord, my rock, my fortress, my savior;
my God, my rock where I take refuge;
my shield, my saving strength, my stronghold,
I cry out, "O praised be the Lord!:
and see, I am saved from my foes.

The waves of death rose about me;

the torrents of destruction assailed me;

the snares of Sheol surrounded me;

the traps of death confronted me.

In my anguish I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help.

In the heavenly temple my voice was heard;

my crying reached God's ears.

From on high God reached down and seized me,

drew me forth from the mighty waters,

and saved me from my powerful foe,

from my enemies, whose strength I could not match.

(Psalm 18, portions)

As I pondered this psalm this morning in my daily reading, I thought of St. Peter reading/praying this psalm after his rescue by Jesus on the waters of Galilee.  The Jews prayed the psalms regularly, both in their daily prayers and in the Temple or synagogue services.  Much like Catholics today, they worked their way through all 150 Psalms on a yearly basis.  

What must have he thought, reading this Psalm after his experience of trying to walk on water and having Jesus reach down to save him from the deep?  Who was this Living Word of God who "reached down and seized me, drew me forth from the mighty waters, and saved me from my powerful foe"?

I think anyone over 30 must have had some experience like that of Peter, where we have felt scared, trapped, like we were drowning in waters too deep for us to tread.  Most of us at some point, I would think, have called out to God in our anguish -- and have somehow also experienced in some form that "My crying reached God's ears!"  

Last week, my brother was dying from ALS and COPD, and I hardly knew how to pray for him in his suffering.  Alternating between oxygen therapy and a BiPap machine to breathe for him, he said, "This is no way to live."  We all knew, and the doctor said, that this was not a permanent solution.  He was literally drowning in carbon dioxide, which his lungs could no longer expel on their own.  My sister called asking for prayer as he struggled with each breath.  

Feeling numb at the approaching death of one of my brothers, I glanced down at the cover of my daily meditation book, which pictured Jesus reaching down to snatch St. Peter from the waters of Lake Galilee.  Spontaneously, I prayed, "Lord, my brother is drowning! Reach down from on high and pull him out of these waters too deep for him."  Within half an hour, my brother took his last breath.

Although I was saddened to lose him, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that the Living Word had once again become incarnate in our lives.  Once again, God showed me that His Word is "living and active, more powerful than a two-edged sword...."  Jesus came in the flesh, living and active, to touch our lives and remind us that God is still with us.  All of the Old Testament takes flesh and lives in Him.  

The prophet Isaiah said, "Here is your God, He comes with vindication; With divine recompense, he comes to save you.  Then the eyes of the blind shall see, and the ears of the deaf be opened; then the lame shall leap like a stag, and the mute tongue sing for joy."   Jesus fulfilled each word of the prophecy during His lifetime on earth --- but His mission as the Living Word of God continues today, even 2000+ years later. 

When our lives become such that we too experience the anguish that causes us to "cry out to God for help," as Psalm 18 expresses, we too will know the power of God's Living Word reaching down to save us!

Divine Choreography

 Fr. James Martin maintains that one of the easiest ways to pray -- or to jumpstart your prayer life -- is to practice the Examen, a simple prayer practice inaugurated by St. Ignatius Loyola.  The Examen is an invitation to see where God has been active in your life over the past 24 hours.  Usually done at night, we place ourselves in the presence of God (in order not to just ruminate within ourselves, but instead to initiate a conversation.)  Then we recall moments of "grace" throughout the day, where God was present to us, and for which we are grateful.

Once I began this practice with the encouragement of a friend, it took only a few days before I began to notice the "grace moments" as they were happening, instead of waiting until the end of the day.  And they became moments of joy and gratitude during the day, as well as just before sleep at night.  God is always present to us, though we are rarely present to Him.  And the Examen takes us readily into His presence throughout the day.

As the Israelites began to move into the Promised Land, they recalled the Divine Choreography that had brought them out of slavery into freedom.  Knowing that God had been with them in the past allowed them to recognize times of grace and help in the present and future.  One of the ways they commemorated those times of grace was to establish "altars" or pillars of rocks called Ebenezer, meaning "thus far has God helped us."  When future generations asked about those monuments, it gave the Israelites opportunity to recall and proclaim the stories of how they had been helped at that time and in that place.

We can use Ignatius' Examen not only at night for the day's events but also as a way to reflect upon our entire lives -- to see the Divine Choreography that has brought us to this place and this moment.  Where has God been in your life?  What amazing things has He done for you?  For what "moments" or events are you ever grateful?  

Jump-start your prayer life?  This practice of Examen when applied to our entire lives can lead us to leap with gratitude right into the heart of God!

More.....

 Spirituality can be defined as what we do with the fire inside us, as how we channel our energy.  And how we channel it, the discipline and habits we choose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds,and souls, and to a greater integration or disintegration in the way we are related to God, others, and the cosmic world. (The Holy Longing, p. 11).

Spirituality is what we do with our spirits, our souls.  A healthy spirit must do two jobs:  

(1) It has to give us energy, or fire, so that we do not lose our joy of living, and (2) it has to keep us glued together, integrated, so that we do not fall apart and die. "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul?"    Someone who suffers the loss of his soul has lost his identity, so that at some point, he or she does not know who he/she is anymore.  A healthy spirit keeps us both energized and glued together.  

Our soul is not something we have; it is who we are!  When cynicism, despair, bitterness, or depression paralyze our energy, part of the soul is hurting.  When we no longer know where we are going, who we are, or where we came from, it is the other part of our soul that is limping.  

When Jesus said, "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God," He was telling us how important the soul -- or our spiritual energy-- is to our lives.  There comes a moment in every life when we must stop and ask ourselves how we are nourishing our spirit.  Much, if not most, of our life consists in nourishing the body, and perhaps the mind.  But what about our spirit?  What is it that renews our energy at the deepest level and helps us to hold together all the parts of our lives that threaten to pull us apart?

Padre Pio once said, "I shudder to think of the harm done to souls by the lack of spiritual reading!"  Our religious practices of going to church, singing hymns, praying, etc. may be a start, but unless we renew our spirits with soul prayer, spiritual reading, and simple contemplation of nature/beauty/wisdom, etc. we run the risk of giving our souls pablum instead of real food.

Life tends to pull us in multiple directions --- all of them good, sometimes, so that we can no longer decide how or where to draw the line on our energy resources.  Our lives need wisdom, peace, and guidance to keep us from falling apart --- and, according to the book of James, God will lavishly give wisdom to those who ask Him (James 1:5).  He never intended for us to slough through the mire on our own; He always intended to be with us a Full Partner in this business of preserving our souls!

What is "Spirituality"?

 Ronald Rolheiser, one of my favorite writers, has a wonderful book called The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality.  I happened to read this book many years ago when I was teaching the 11th grade Confirmation class, and I used his insights as the basis for my teaching for a long time.  One of my students wrote, after the first class that year, "This seems more like a philosophy class than a religion class."  My answer to her was, "It takes an astute mind to recognize philosophy when she sees it!"

Now, re-visiting this excellent book, I would like to highlight some of Rolheiser's insights for other astute minds to enjoy.  Certainly, his words have given me much to think about!

Spirituality is not something on the fringes, an opton for those with a particular bent.  None of us has a choice. Everyone has to have a spirituality and everyone does have one, either a life-giving one or a destructive one.....Spirituality is not about serenely picking or rationally choosing certain spiritual activities like going to church, praying or meditating, reading spiritual books, or setting off on some explicity spiritual quest.  It is far more basic than that.  

Spirituality is more about whether or not we can sleep at night than about whether or not we go to church.  It is about being integrated or falling apart, about being within community or being lonely, about being in harmony with Mother Earth or being alienated from her.  Whether or not we let ourselves be consciously shaped by any expicit religious idea, we act in ways that leave us either healthy or unhealthy, loving or bitter.  What shapes our actions is our spirituality. 

When we act, what we do will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our personalities, minds, and bodies -- and to the strengthening or deterioration of our relationship to God, others, and the cosmic world.

Rolheiser offers three well-known examples of spiritual lives:  Mother Teresa, Janis Joplin, and Princess Diana.  Mother Teresa, he says, was a dynamo of energy, despite her diminutive appearance.  She was a human bulldozer, dedicated to God and the poor.  She channeled her energy in a creative, life-giving way, and that total dedication was her signature, her spirituality. 

According to Rolheiser, few people would have considered Janis Joplin, the rock star who died from an overdose of life at 27, a very spiritual woman.  And yet she was.  Like Mother Teresa, she was an exceptional woman, a person "of fiery eros, a great lover, a person with a rare energy."  However, her energy, unlike Mother Teresa's, went out in all directions and eventually created an excess and a tiredness that led to an early death.  But those activities --a total giving over to creativity, performance, drugs, booze, sex, coupled with the neglect of normal rest--were her spirituality.  This was her signature.

Most, of us, according to Rolheiser, are more like Princess Diana than either Mother Teresa or Janis Joplin.  Usually, we tend to see other people as one or the other, but not as both erotic and spiritual.  And yet, Princess Diana reflects both dimensions.  She obviously had great fire within her; people were drawn so powerfully to her: "her energy, more so than her beauty or her causes, is what made her exceptional."  She was a person who willed God and the poor, even if she still willed many other things also.

Spirituality is what we do with the spirit that is within us.  For Princess Diana, her spirituality was both commitment to the poor and the Mediterranean vacations...and all the pain and questions in between.  She chose some things that left her more integrated in body and soul and others which tore at her body and soul.  Such is spirituality.  It is about integration and disintegration, about making choices about living and living with what that does to us.

More reflections tomorrow......

 

 

Tohu Vavohu

When God began creating the heavens and the earth, the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

In the original Hebrew of the Scriptures, the words translated here as "formless and empty" were tohu va vohu, meaning "wild and waste,"  indicating emptiness.   

The words "Spirit of God" come from the Hebrew ruah, meaning "rushing-spirit."  It carries the meaning of breath, breeze, or strong wind.

 And the word "hovering" carries the image of "flitting; the image is that of an eagle protecting its young in the nest.

All of the images associated with the story of Creation are repeated in the history of Israel, taken from nothingness -- the darkness, wild and waste of paganism in the case of Abraham; the darkness, emptiness of life in the case of Hebrew slaves -- and brought into order, balance, and harmony through a living, loving relationship with the Creator of heaven and earth.  Chapter 32 of Deuteronomy echoes all the themes of Genesis, the first creation:

In a desert land he found him [Israel],

in a barren and howling waste.

He shielded him and cared for him;

he guarded him as the apple of his eye, 

like an eagle that stirs up its nest 

and hovers over its young,

that spreads its wings to catch them

and carries them on its pinions. 

The Lord alone led him;

no foreign god was with him.

  Once again, man is led into Eden, where he has fellowship with the divine Creator of heaven and earth. All the richness of the Promised Land (Israel) echo the Garden of Paradise:

 He made him ride on the heights of the land,/ and fed him with the fruit of the fields.

He nourished him with honey from the rock, /and with oil from the flinty crag,

with curds and milk from herd and flock,/ and with fattened lambs and goats,

with choice rams of Bashan,/and the finest kernels of wheat./

You drank the red blood of the grape. 

All of the story of the Bible from beginning to end leads to the story of US.  According to St. Augustine in his commentary on Genesis, our souls/spirits are formless and empty, wild and waste, until the Word of God speaks life and order into them: Let there be Light! 

The "Light" of Genesis 1, day 1,  is obviously not the sun, as the sun is created on Day 4.  Rather the Light spoken of here is energy, beauty, order, illumination -- the same Light spoken by the Word of God in the Gospel of John, chapter 1:  In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

And John 8: I am the Light of the world; whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

St. Augustine says that for Jesus, the Word of God, to "live" means to live wisely and happily.  But a creature, although it has a spiritual nature endowed with intellect or reason, can have a formless (wild and waste) life.  For Jesus, living is not the same as possessing a life of wisdom and happiness. For when man is turned away from changeless Wisdom, his life is full of folly and wretchedness, and so it is in an unformed state (tohu va vohu).  Its formation consists in its turning to the changeless light of Wisdom, the Word of God.  The Word -- Light! Be! ---is the source of whatever being and life the creature has, and to the Word it must turn in order to live wisely and happily.

The Gospel of John sums up all the lessons of creation and history in one Person -- the Word, the Light, the Alpha and the Omega.  If we read nothing else but that Gospel, we have all the Wisdom we need to turn to the Rushing Spirit of God, hovering over our chaos.  We, too, can become a new creation by allowing the Word of God to enter our tohu va vohu, our emptiness!

What Can I Do?

 Recently I read a book called Sacred Encounters with Mary, an account of visitations people have had with the Mother of Jesus.  Most of these encounters are very simple, and yet profound in their own way.  The following one impressed me:

As I was going into meditation one day, I asked of [Mary], "How can I help to prepare the way for the the return of Christ?"  A little while later, she appeared to me in a vision and I saw her roll up her sleeves....As she rolled up her sleeves, she took me by the hand and led me to a sink where we proceeded to wash dishes together.  In that moment, we were just two women doing what needed to be done.  Interestingly, I have an expression that I have used before and since this encounter: "Talking doesn't do it, reading doesn't do it it; living is what does it."  And I always say that if you can't wash dishes with me, you haven't got it.

 Matthew Kelly, a renowned speaker on the Catholic circuit, always says, "Just do the next right thing!"  We often wonder what we can do to help, especially in view of world-wide hunger and poverty, violence, human trafficking, and just plain ignorance.  I think we have to commit our lives to God and trust that He is able to use our talents in His own way.  We want to be useful; we want our lives to count for something, but we are helpless to know what to do.  

St. Therese lived perhaps one of the most "useless" lives of all, behind the cloister walls, and died at the age of 24.  And yet today she is known world-wide as the patroness of missions.  Her way of life was unbounded confidence in God, trusting Him to accomplish in her all that He desired.

I think we can all wash dishes -- or do whatever is needed at the moment to clean up the world we live in.  It may not seem like much, but as Mother Teresa often pointed out, a pencil in the hand of God can change people's lives.

Gratitude!

 Last week, I had a follow-up visit with the doctor who performed the bronchoscopy, and what she told me then made my post-anesthesia vision even more meaningful.  All the tests for cancer were negative, thank God, although it seems that what they have been seeing in my lung since 2016 is a fungus caused by breathing in mold, usually from decaying plant matter.  It makes sense, as I have been gardening for many years, using leaf mold as mulch, cleaning out gutters and breathing in mold, etc.  

However, the reason I was under anesthesia so long was that the doctor struck a blood vessel in the lung as she removed tissue for diagnosis.  Although she was using a scan to guide the procedure, it seems that blood vessels do not show up on the scan.  As blood spurted all over the room, the doctor's colleague suggested that she not biopsy me another time, and she was not at all sure she could stop the bleeding.  

I asked how she did stop the bleeding, and she simply stated: I prayed.

After hearing her answer, my vision of the 23rd Psalm covering me as a blanket became even more stunning; I had not realized how close I had been to dying.  How can I thank the Lord for what He has done for me?  

Speak Your Word...

 Speak Your Word into my heart, O Spirit of God!

This is the second time it has happened.  Two years ago, I had a bronchoscopy under anesthesia.  As I awoke, but before I was alert enough to even have a thought, I saw and heard the 23rd Psalm as though I were watching a video.  The words appeared before me in similar fashion to the opening of the original Star Wars movie -- rolling upward on a screen, as I heard them spoken to me.  I was astonished, knowing that I had no capacity at the moment to even imagine such a thing.  In fact, a moment later, the nurse, seeing my eyes open, came over to ask me a question.  Still under the effects of anesthesia, I could not answer at the moment.  So I knew that what I was seeing and hearing could not be coming from my imagination.  It had to be a gift from the Holy Spirit, speaking to me at a time of great weakness.  

Yesterday, I had another bronchoscopy, but this time was under anesthesia for two hours, as the doctor performed five procedures in an attempt to finally diagnose the lung cancer she can see on the CT scan.  Coming out of the anesthesia was much more difficult this time; I felt like a butterfly pinned to a table, unable to move or speak.  And yet, as I opened my eyes, I once again saw and heard Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd....   This time, the words were not dramatic, but visually and auditorially very soft.  It felt as if a light blanket were being gently laid over my body.  And the entire Psalm was present to me, not just the opening words.

Actually, I had forgotten all about the first incident going into this surgery.  And so the second event was as unexpected as the first.  I could neither think nor speak, but just received the words as comfort, with a few tears of thanksgiving.  I knew once again that I could not be manufacturing this experience, as my brain was not yet engaged.  It had to be a gift from the Holy Spirit at a moment of extreme weakness. 

What this experience has done for me is to make me realize that God does not leave us alone in times of stress or weakness.  He is even more present to us in love and mercy and tenderness.  And it gives me great hope that I will not face death alone, but that His Word will be with me to comfort, guide, and lead me to the next life. 

The Power of the Sacrament

 For the very first time since I knew I had lung cancer in 2010, I felt fear.  For 13 years, I have known only the peace and joy of knowing that the Lord is my Shepherd:  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou are with me.  Thy rod and thy staff bring me comfort.

And yet, yesterday morning, for some reason, fear overwhelmed me.  I am scheduled next week for yet another bronchoscopy. A tumor has been appearing on the left lung since 2016, but no biopsy or procedure has been able to capture it for diagnosis and treatment.  This time, my doctor thinks she can get a piece of it with a new instrument, and if she does, then radiation is the next step.  

I went into Mass thinking that I would not ask to be anointed for this procedure, as I have been anointed so many times previously.  I figured the power of the sacrament still held -- that it didn't "wear off," so to speak.  But then, for some reason, during Mass, I was encompassed by fear.  Not fear of dying, but fear of radiation and its side effects.  I knew myself to be weak, and I did not want to face pain and suffering.  In tears, I did request an anointing after Mass.

As the priest laid his hands upon my head, the most profound peace once again entered my soul and mind.  I knew I had nothing to fear, that the same God who had brought me through before would be with me once again.  Peace --- and freedom from worry and fear ---- took over.

Afterwards, I wondered why the sudden experience of fear.  And I wondered if I was supposed to once again experience the power of the sacrament (the anointing of the sick).  That I might know and testify to the working of the sacraments on our behalf.  If this laying on of hands and anointing with oil is so powerful, how much more the Eucharist, when God Himself joins His body and soul, heart and mind to ours!

No Condemnation

 Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...(Rom.8:1)

We were made to be inhabited... not to be alone:  The one thing that was "Not Good" at the dawn of creation was that man was alone.  There is no greater joy in this life than knowing that we are not alone --- that we are one with another in mind, heart, and spirit.  Different, yes; opposite, no.  We yearn to be with those who love us, accept us, find joy in our presence as we do in theirs.  

What separates us is judgment, criticism, condemnation, non-acceptance of who we are, what we think, what we do.  And then fear overtakes us -- fear of more judgment, of more criticism, of more rejection.  And we back away, become alone again, knowing that we can trust only ourselves, not another.  The ancient name for the Devil was lo diabolo, meaning to "throw apart," to separate.  What separates us from one another is literally diabolic.

God came in the flesh seeking union with us, made in His image and likeness:  The Son of Man came not to condemn, but to seek and to save what was lost.  Sin separates us from God so that we are no longer one spirit, one mind, one heart with Him.  And His overflowing love can no longer flow through us to those around us.  The urge to criticize, to look down on, to condemn and to separate seems to be natural part of our makeup -- but it is not the "image and likeness" of God for which we were destined.  

Many "solutions" have arisen from mankind:  mindfulness, meditation, Buddhism, The Power of Positive Thinking.....  But what is bred into our genetic makeup over centuries is not easily dislodged.  Paul says in Romans 7 that if he does anyway what he has determined not to do, there is a power within him stronger than he is:  Unhappy man that I am!  Who will save me from this body of death?

But thanks be to God!  It has already been done --- there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  The law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the spirit of death!

God desires to be One with us in heart, mind, and spirit.  And so "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  In the sacrament of the Eucharist, He becomes one with us without rejection.  Little by little, His Spirit in us causes us to throw away useless ideas and behaviors, gradually transforming us into His very likeness.  His death was our death to the things that separate us from the love of God and of one another.  Even our utmost rejection of His Spirit was overcome in the Resurrection.  We are made new creatures, created once again according to the Divine Image!

An Awesome Power

 Whenever you go into a house, first say, "Peace to this house." 
If a man of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; if not, it will return to you.

Jesus is called "The Prince of Peace."  The Jews do not recognize Him as Messiah because He has not brought universal peace, according to Isaiah 9:7.  However, at the Last Supper, He said to His disciples, "My peace I give to you; I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  That peace is recognizable; it belongs to those who belong to Him.  It is the Pearl of Great Price for which a person will give all that he has.

The Peace which Isaiah prophesied of the Messiah belongs to his followers -- and it is spread from one to another.  It is possible to pass on that peace to others -- an awesome power, as only God can give peace.  

Last night, we celebrated Holy Thursday-- the Last Supper and the institution of the Eucharist.  After the ceremony, a few people (about 30) gathered in a small room where the Blessed Sacrament -- the Presence of Jesus -- would be temporarily kept.  Our tradition is that the Eucharist is removed from the church on Holy Thursday, as Jesus departed from the Upper Room for the Garden of Olives.  We are invited to spend some time with Him in prayer that night.

The Peace that descended on all present last night was palpable.  It could be felt --- even "heard," in a way.  At first, I thought it was just my own peace that was so profound it felt what heaven must be like.  Gradually, however, I began to realize how absolutely still the room was.  Never have I encountered such a presence of silence; in a sense, it was "heavy" in that it permeated every person with profound stillness. No one coughed, reached for a handkerchief, looked around, or even read from a book.  There were books held on laps, but everyone seemed totally absorbed in profound silence and peace.  

This morning, I realized what Jesus meant when He said, "My peace I give to you."  It is possible for us to pass on that peace to others -- if they are people of peace themselves.  It is a palpable gift.  If we cannot pass on peace, then it returns to us.  It seems to me that this peace could disarm nations -- and then that universal peace promised by Isaiah would proclaim Jesus as Lord and Messiah!

Traveling with the Eyes of God

 As I was preparing for yet another wonderful trip, thanks to the gracious generosity of my dear sister, my husband brought me today's meditation from Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen, a book he reads each morning.  I was so moved by the selection that I wanted to share it with everyone I know:

Traveling -- seeing new sights, hearing new music, and meeting new people -- is exciting and exhilarating.  But when we have no home to return to where someone will ask us, "How was your trip?" we might be less eager to go. Traveling is joyful when we travel with the eyes and ears of those who love us, who want to see our slides and hear our stories.

This is what life is about.  It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home for our return and is eager to watch the slides we took and hear about the friends we made.  When we travel with the eyes and ears of the God who sent us, we will see wonderful sights, hear wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people....and be happy to return home. 

After reading this, I could just imagine God saying, "Let's see your slides!"  How many of them am I willing to show Him? 

 

A Different Starting Place

 One of the things I loved about teaching was knowing I could help people achieve their goals.  I aimed to get them through the semester successfully so they could move to the next level.  And since I knew what the final challenge of the term entailed, and what obstacles the students needed to overcome, I was usually successful in preparing them for the final test.  

Every now and then, however, there would be a student who sabotaged my best efforts to help him/her.  I am not talking about those who lacked ability, or those who were lazy, or those who were not sure why they were there at all.  I am thinking of the student who seemed to want to succeed but who always found a way to fail, albeit with the best intentions.

One of my students, a sweet Asian girl, habitually arrived about 20 minutes late each morning for a 2-hour class.  By that time, we were all on task, sometimes with the students quietly composing or re-writing their first drafts.  She attempted to sneak in the back door and slide into her desk without a disturbance.  However, she kept her books in a crinkly plastic bag which inevitably rustled and crackled as she extricated her supplies.  Normally, I did not tolerate late arrivals, but after discussing the problem with her, I found that someone else brought her to school daily, and she had no control over their schedule.  Since it was a 2-hour class, I decided to allow her to continue, accepting "no solution" as a compromise.  However, I did bring her a canvas bag in which to tote her books.  The next day she arrived with her plastic bag inserted in the canvas bag.  Once again, no solution.

Needless to say, this girl was always one step behind but eager to catch up.  So she would inevitably show up in my office after class, when I was relaxing with a cup of tea and preparing for my next class.  I quickly learned that all my "help" was like water running down a drain.  Nothing seemed to stick.  No amount of time spent with her seemed to make any difference whatsoever.  She brought out the Inspector Clouseau in me.  I'm not sure my eye began to twitch when I saw her, but once I did spill tea all over myself when I turned and saw her at my office door.

Finally I confessed my frustration to a close friend, who gave me some of the best advice of my life. "Your problem," she said, "is that you think you should be able to help her. And there are some people who cannot be helped.  Once you accept that fact, you will no longer be frustrated."  My friend was 100% on target.  I began to relax and enjoy this student for who she was.  No longer did I desire her success more than she did.  I began to realize that she was getting different things out of attending college; success was not necessarily her goal in life.  And I was willing to allow her to take what she could and leave the rest --- whether it fit my norms and expectations or not.

Unfortunately, that girl eventually stopped attending college and went on with another phase of her life, presumably happy after all.  Also unfortunately, the lesson I thought I learned did not stick forever.  There are still people in my life I think I should be able to help, but cannot.  When someone spends more than an hour on the phone telling me about all the things that make her unhappy in life, somehow the "helper" in me kicks in, and I begin thinking of "solutions" to her problems.  I lay awake at night solving problems that are not my own.  I have not yet learned that some things are unfixable.  And then in my frustration, I begin to resent the fact that I cannot make my friend happy.

After the wonderful gift of the sacrament of confession, once again I have come to a different starting place.  No longer (at least for a time) do I think I "should" be able to help another person achieve her goals or to be happy and content.  I realize again that Jesus did not try to "fix" people, but He welcomed them into His warm embrace and invited them to enjoy His Life -- now and forever.  If they chose not to accept His invitation, He allowed them to walk away. Their sadness broke the heart of the Good Shepherd who gladly would have shouldered their cross, but He let them go.  And when they returned to their father's house, He gladly brought out the ring, the cloak, and the fatted calf, saying, "Let us rejoice, for what was lost is now found!"

A Covenant of Peace

 Look around and be distressed;
Look within and be depressed;
Look to Jesus and be at rest.

(Corrie Ten Boom)

"Covenant" is not a word we use much today, except in gated communities, where the meaning seems to have evolved into the opposite of its original.  The only real covenant we have left today is marriage-- where two are made one flesh, one family, one bond.

The original covenant God made with Abraham was a covenant of blood -- a covenant in your flesh, God called it:  My covenant in your flesh is to be an everlasting covenant (Gen. 17).

By the time of Jeremiah and the other prophets, however, we hear that that covenant in the flesh means little:  

How gladly would I treat you like sons and give you a desirable land,

the most beautiful of any nation.

I thought you would call me "Father" and not turn away from following me.

But like a woman unfaithful to her husband,

so have you been unfaithful to me, O house of Israel," says the Lord (Jer. 3).

Break up your unplowed ground and do not sow among thorns.

Circumcise yourself to the Lord, circumcise your hearts,

you men of Judah and people of Jerusalem (Jer. 4).

...even the whole house of Israel is uncircumcised in heart (Jer. 9).

The result of abandoning the covenant, or the bond with God, is that the beautiful land "...has been ruined and laid waste like a desert that no one can cross" and, furthermore,

Death has climbed in through our windows and has entered our fortresses;

it has cut off the children from the streets and the young men from the public squares (Jer. 9).

The prophets, however, notably Jeremiah, promised a new covenant, "not like the covenant I made with their fathers...[.but] I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts....they will all know me from the least of them to the greatest" (Jer. 31).

And Ezekiel says, "I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant....My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God and they will be my people" (37).

....a covenant of peace.  The mark of those who dwell with God.  At the Last Supper, Jesus promised: "My peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  Finally, it is given to us --- the covenant of peace.  Corrie Ten Boom, despite the worst that Nazi Germany could do to her family and to her, knew that peace.  As do the world's martyrs today.

If you would find the dwelling place of God on earth today, look for the "pearl of great price" -- that peace within men's souls.  It is the sure sign of the new covenant!

Who Is Your God?

 When God appeared to Moses in the burning bush, He identified Himself:  I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

In my last entry, "We Believe," I wrote about faith in God not only in terms of our own stories, but in terms of the faith and friendship of those we love and trust.  When I hear how God has worked in your life, your story extends my own experience of God and increases my awe of His glory and Presence.

When God says to Moses, "I am the God of your father," He identifies Himself with the stories Moses has heard from his own family.  Although this may be Moses' first encounter with the Divine Presence, he undoubtedly has heard and absorbed family stories going back hundreds of years of how this God revealed Himself to the Israelites.  So already Moses knows something about this God who now reveals Himself to Moses.

I am the God of Abraham.....Who was Abraham's God?  He is God in search of man before man begins to search for God.  He is the God Who calls in the depths of our souls, "Come, and I will show you...."  

The God Who says, "Get up, leave this place and come to a place I will show you."  The God who has a plan for us:  I will bless you and you will be a blessing!  Not just bless us, but bless all those who are connected to us generation after generation.  

When we read the stories of the Bible, it might be helpful to ask ourselves, "Who is the God of Isaac,.....of Jacob.....of Moses....of David....of Mary.....of Jesus?

As we ponder these stories, we come to know not only their God but our God ---- the God of our fathers and mothers, the God of our friends and heroes.  We, too, have our stories but have not attended to them in terms of Who God has been to us.  If God is to be found anywhere, surely it is in our histories.  Spiritual directors often tell us to look back over our lives in ten-year sections, searching for where God has been in each decade of our lives.

Most of us in our youth, I would hazard to guess, sneered at the stories our parents told us -- if indeed they spoke of God at all.  And yet, now that we are old, we might look back with reverence on those stories as well as our own experience, and say to God, "I had heard of you with my ears, but now I behold you with my eyes!" (Job 42:5)

We Believe.....

 Bishop Robert Barron's video series on The Creed is packed full of thought-provoking statements.  Last night, after viewing episode 1 of the series, a friend and I were discussing Barron's insights on the first two words of the Creed:  I/we believe...

We used to say "We believe in God...." when I was growing up in the Catholic Church.  Now we say, "I believe...." each Sunday.  Barron argues that the question should remain open as to the most appropriate response.  He agrees that it is good for us to declare, each one of us, that "I" believe -- to make our own statement of belief, regardless of what others believe.  And of course, that stance appeals to our independent, individualistic culture, especially in the West today.

However, the statement "We believe" carries its own justification.  The faith of one not only strengthens that of the other, but it also imparts a particular joy of unification and friendship.  C. S. Lewis' classic essay on Friendship in his book Four Loves cannot help but bring joy to anyone who has experienced the kind of friendship he describes.  

According to Lewis, friendship, unlike erotic love, always welcomes the third, fourth, or fifth person into the relationship.  For friendship is not two people looking at one another, but rather it is two people looking together at a third "thing" which both love and enjoy.  The enjoyment of my friend in stamp collecting, birdwatching, traveling, wine-tasting, or whatever draws us together, enhances my own joy because now I see the object not only from my own perspective but also from the perspective and experience of my friend.  And when my friend dies, I lose not only my friend, but also his/her enjoyment of the third thing which we both enjoyed.

For the past 15 years, a group of about 6 to 12 of us have been meeting on Wednesday mornings to read, study, and talk about our faith.  The group began as a bible study, but eventually merged into a  book study, wherein we read the chosen book together (not individually at home), stopping to comment on, reflect on, question, or discuss what we are reading.  Our current study is Four Witnesses by Rod Barrett, a history of the earliest church reflected in the writings of Ignatius of Antioch, Polycarp, Ireneus of Lyons, and Justin Martyr.

As we openly discuss our reactions to the faith and experience of the early church, we tend to reveal our own stories and spiritualities.  Here is where "we believe" becomes strength to all of us.  We are absorbing what the Fathers of the Church believed and lived, with considerable impact on our own lives and stories --- but the faith reactions of one person in the group also impacts the faith and reactions of the others.  The insights given to one become the insights of all because we trust and respect one another --- and we are all built up together into one body with "living stones," in the words of Scripture.  The "I believe" eventually, through thoughtful exploration, becomes "We believe..."

For those of us who believe and live the communion of saints, living and dead, the circle widens even further.  Most of us chose patron saints when we were confirmed.  Mine was Therese of Liseux, for no other reason at the time than that I was a sixth-grade girl, and the statue of St. Therese in our church was beautiful.  But grace....grace.... itself went before and behind me.  Now, as an adult, I have discovered that my spirituality matches that of St. Therese, and her "beliefs" have strongly impacted and confirmed my own experience.  When my own spirituality cannot climb to the heights of that of the great saints, I find consolation in the littleness of St. Therese, in the simplicity of her everyday life.  And her reflections often pierce my soul.  

The same might be said of the writings of Padre Pio, Ignatius of Loyola, St. Benedict and so on....their unique faiths, their different approaches to the enjoyment of God, all serve to enhance my own faith and give me joy.  It has been said that the "life of the world to come" included in our credal statement means that as friends at last, we will all enjoy one another's enjoyment of God and of the ways He has worked in our lives.  Something to look forward to, indeed!

Bread of the Presence

 When I first started reading the Old Testament, one of the curious things I came across was the reference to the "showbread" in Exodus 25.  Even before Moses was given instructions for the Tent of Meeting , or Tabernacle, he was instructed about three things which were to be placed inside it:  

The Ark of the Covenant, a golden box held up by carved angels on either side;
A menorah, for permanent light within the tabernacle; and
A golden table for wine/libations and "showbread."

Showbread?  What was the bread showing?  and to whom?  Why was it called "showbread"? 

Fortunately, modern translations of the Bible have transcribed the actual Hebrew expression lehem ha panim as "Bread of the Presence."  Some scholars argue that the expression should be translated as literally as possible, because the Hebrew word panim is actually the word for face.  Therefore, the most literal translation of the Hebrew is the Bread of the Face.  In this view, The Bread of the Presence is somehow a visible sign of the face of God.

In the desert Tent of Meeting and later in Solomon's temple, the Bread of the Presence was to be on display at all times, even though only the priests were actually allowed in the inner chamber of the Temple.  However, three times a year, all the Jewish men living in Israel were commanded to "appear before God" in the Temple -- but, again, the literal Hebrew reads, Three times a year shall all your males see the face of the Lord, the Lord God of Israel" (Exodus 34:23 and 23:17).  In this commandment, the Hebrew word used is panim, the same word used for the Bread of the Presence, or the Bread of the Face.

During those three feastdays, in order to fulfill the commandment, the priests used to remove the Golden Table of the Bread of the Presence from within the Holy Place so that the Jewish pilgrims could see it.  They would lift the Golden Table up and exhibit the Bread of the Presence on it to those who came up to the festival, saying to them, Behold, God's love for you! (Babylonian Talmud, Menahoth 29A).

God is nothing if not patient; we are talking about 3500 years of lessons here.  C. S. Lewis says that symbols teach us what the mind is not yet ready to absorb.  The Jewish people knew God's Presence in their midst from the very beginning of their liberation from slavery.  The forty years they spent in the desert liberated them from pagan symbols and sacrifices and prepared them to know and obey the God Who Cared for them as a Shepherd.  

Every Catholic church today still holds the Tabernacle, the Menorah / sanctuary lamp, and the Bread of the Presence, or the Face, of God.  Our "Tent of Meeting" tells us that there is a Living Presence in our midst:  Behold, God's love for you!

It is Not Good......

 At the moment of creation, God surveyed all that He had made and pronounced it "very good."  Each thing was "good" in itself, but the whole of creation in balance and relationship to one another was seen as "very good"(Gen. 1:31).

The one thing that God saw as Not Good was for man to be alone (Gen. 2).  Though Adam was lord of the universe, he was lonely.  Though all the animals came to him, he was lonely, and God allowed him to experience his loneliness in order to know that for which he was made -- relationship and companionship.

God Himself is a communion of Persons.  From the poetry of Genesis 1, we know that the phrase "in the image of God" created He him actually refers to "male and female."  From the Theology of the Body taught by John Paul II, we understand that our very bodies teach us that we were not made to be alone.  We are made for the purpose of communion.  We want to know and to be known, to love and be loved.  

We are not just bodies; man has an interior life that needs to be inhabited.  We speak about the "soul," but what exactly is the soul of man?  It is made up of the mind, the heart/emotions, and the will.  All of us, whether we see it or not, want "the other person" in our lives to see and understand the ways we think, the things we love, and what we most desire.  And we want the other, in seeing us, to say, "It is good that you are here!"

St. Augustine taught that the three "goods" of marriage are grace, children, and friendship.  No one will ever have your back as much as your spouse, in an ideal marriage -- because your partner sees your mind, heart, and will and is willing to sacrifice him/herself to sustain, nurture, and grow the person you are at your core.

In the same way, C. S. Lewis describes friendship:

In a perfect friendship...each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest,  Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters.  He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company.  Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others.  Those are the golden sessions; when four or five of us after a hard day's walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread out toward the blaze and our drinks at our elbows; when the whole world and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are freemen and equals as if we had first met an hour ago, while at the same time an affection mellowed by the years enfolds us.  Life ---natural life--- has no better gift to give.  Who  could have deserved it?

 

On the Work of Digging Ditches

 The human body can survive only three days without water.  How long can our souls survive without the living water of God's Presence?

C.S. Lewis says that our religious practices of worship, prayer, Scripture reading, etc. are not the thing itself, but only the preparation for our encounter with God.  He likens our practices to digging a channel for grace, waiting for the arrival of water:

When we carry out our religious duties, we are like people digging channels in a waterless land, in order that when at last the water comes, it may find them ready....There are happy moments, even now, when a trickle creeps along the dry beds; and happy souls to whom this happens often (Reflections on the Psalms).

It seems to me that this is our answer to those who claim they get nothing from attending Mass.  They are waiting either to be entertained or to experience some kind of encounter with Divinity.  Many Catholics have left the church because they "were not being fed." While I do not deny that homilies and maybe music could often be better, I do not think God withholds His Presence -- His living water -- from us because our services are dull.  Any more than He would withhold His grace from us because our prayers are dull and unimaginative.  

One of the Psalms says, "God inhabits the praise of his people!"  God commands us to praise Him because our praise opens the channel of our hearts to receive His grace:  He gives Himself to us in our worship.

A rough analogy might be the beauty of our natural world.  As long as we continue to walk with our heads down and our hearts heavy, refusing to look up at the sunrise, the sunsets, the horses in the meadow, the lapping water along the shore, and the majestic rise of the mountains on the horizon, all these wonders are dead to us, doing nothing to restore our sense of beauty and harmony.  Once we give ourselves a moment to appreciate what is all around us, they in a sense "give themselves" back to us.

Our parish offers adoration of the Blessed Sacrament twice a week.  To engage in adoration is to simply sit in the Presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.  Nothing need be said, much as it is to sit quietly with someone you love and trust, without saying a word.  Exciting? No.  Inspiring? Not always. But one always leaves knowing they have been in a living Presence.  The result is often Peace, Stillness, Confidence, a lessening of Fear, Trust.  

Living Water for thirsty souls!

No Longer Slaves

 As proof that you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son then also an heir....(Gal. 4).

According to the Babylonian creation myths, the gods created humans as slaves, to do the tedious work of caring for the world, work the gods had no interest in doing.  In the books of Romans and Galatians, however, St. Paul makes it clear that God the Creator is not interested in slaves but rather in sons and daughters.  He sent Jesus, His only begotten Son, that in Him we might have full rights as children of God.

No matter how obedient and observant we are to the Law, we are not "sons" (and daughters) of God until His own Spirit resides in our hearts.  God would have us share in his being and nature---strong wherein he cares for strength; tender and gracious as he is tender and gracious; angry where and as he is angry.*

Without knowing the heart of the Father from whence comes the law, we always risk making the law unto our own interests.  When we come to think with him, when the mind of the child is the mind of the Father, then we will act as the Father would act.  Jesus said, "My words are not my own; they belong to the One Who sent me."  And, "If you knew Me, then you would know my Father also." (Jn. 5).

If we as Christians could say the same, we could change the world. But there is such a gulf between us and the Father that we could never know the Father's heart and mind except for the Son, who sends His own Spirit into us.  Paul says, "If anyone has not the spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ."  And "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God."

There is but one spirit, the Spirit of Truth.    We are the sons and daughters of God the minute we lift up our hearts, the moment we begin to cry Father.  But it takes a long time to redeem all of our thoughts and ways -- to finish this new creation/ this new birth of the Holy Spirit.  As long as there remains in us the least taint of distrust, the least lingering of hate or fear, we have not yet completed our apprenticeship as sons and daughters -- we are just getting ready one day to creep from our chrysalids and spread the great heavenly wings of the psyche of God.*

Then we shall be sons (and daughters) in full manifestation.  Our bodies will then fully reflect our souls.  " For all of creation awaits the outshining / revealing of the sons of God" (Romans) .  Then the earth and all its creatures will shout for joy because we are no longer slaves to sin but finally ready to tend to the creatures and to the earth itself.  Then shall the wolf dwell with the lamb, and the leopard lie down with the kid and calf, and a little child shall lead them.  When we are no longer slaves, but sons, with the Spirit of God dwelling in us!

* words taken from George McDonald's Unspoken Sermons

Streams in the Desert