The Journey of the Soul

On a dark night

Kindled in love with yearnings---

Oh, happy chance! --

I went forth unobserved,

My house being now at rest.

--John of the Cross: "Stanzas of the Soul"

 

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The House at Rest

(Jessica Powers -- 1984)

 

How does one hush one's house,

each proud possessive wall, each sighing rafter,

the rooms made restless with remembered laughter

or wounding echoes, the permissive doors,

the stairs that vacillate from up to down,

windows that bring in color and event

from countryside or town,

oppressive ceilings and complaining floors?

 

The house must first of all accept the night.

Let it erase the walls and their display,

impoverish the rooms till they are filled

with humble silences; let clocks be stilled

and all the selfish urgencies of day.

 

Midnight is not the time to greet a guest.

Caution the doors against both foes and friends,

and try to make the windows understand

their unimportance when the daylight ends.

Persuade the stairs to patience, and deny

the passages their aimless to and fro.

Virtue it is that puts a house at rest.

How well repaid that tenant is, how blest

who, when the call is heard,

is free to take his kindled heart and go.

 

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At the end of her life (1905-1988), Jessica Powers referred to herself as a "gypsy," describing her vast wondering over inner and outer landscapes of life for 83 years.  She drew on Carmelite spirituality (Elijah, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, and Therese of Liseux, primarily) for direction and then wove its guiding lessons into her life's journey at every turn.  Both inner and outer landscapes are involved in her journey, as they are with all of us.  "She used nature as a metaphor to explore human interactions, human/divine relationships, and inner/outer landscapes" (Catholic Herald Citizen, April 18, 1942).  "She wanted her words, her poetry, to draw others to God" (Leonard Feeney, in America: May, 1940, p. 192).

 

Jessica Powers is a mystic in modern-day America who wove her search for truth into a biblical perspective in the Catholic/ Carmelite tradition.  I believe the process she followed in her search for God is one that we can all follow:  she used the wisdom of spiritual giants in the Carmelite tradition as her guides for reflection on her own journey.  "The House at Rest" quoted above is her reflection on the writings of John of the Cross, for example.  How fortunate we are when our souls can resonate to the experience of Scripture or of the great mystics, for Truth cannot be found in the meanderings of the intellect, but only in the journey of the soul.



Lord, I want to see!

I know only one thing:  I was blind, but now I see (Jn. 9:25).

 

Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world,, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."

Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, "What? Are we blind too?"

Jesus said, "If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains" (Jn. 9:39-41).

 

"You are a king, then!" said Pilate.

Jesus answered, "You are right in saying that  I am a king.  In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

"What is truth?" Pilate asked (Jn. 18: 37-38).

 

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The blind man told the Pharisees: "He is a prophet."  The Pharisees said, "He is a sinner."  "Whether he is a sinner or not, I don't know," said the man born blind.  "I know only one thing: I was blind, but now I see."

 

Like the Pharisees and like Pilate, we have all at one time or another passed judgment on Jesus.  We have all sifted through what we thought we saw and made a decision one way or the other about him, without knowing our own blindness.  I, too, judged Him at one time, thinking I was smarter, or more enlightened about the world of demons, for example.  I once told a student who asked me if I believed in the devil that we create our own heaven and hell.  "Jesus believed in the devil," she said to me.  And not wanting to give up my own intellectual blindness, I said, "Jesus was a man of His time; now we know better."

 

How blind, how stupid I was -- and could not see that the Son of God would know, would understand, things I could not see.  The king of the world is indeed king of the world, and Lord of heaven and of earth, but how few of us can recognize kingship in the man of Galilee, the One who was --and is today--- despised and rejected, scorned, and crowned with the thorns of man's disobedience and refusal to submit.

 

There is only one way to see what He sees and know what He knows: submission to His Lordship.  When we kneel before Him and acknowledge our blindness, when we ask Him to open the eyes of our hearts, our minds are also enlightened to see and understand spiritual truth.  Until that moment, we remain in our blindness; we remain limited to what we can see, taste, hear, and smell.  We remain locked up in the limitations of our own small minds and whatever "knowledge" the world can offer us. 

 

"Lord, I want to see!"  A simple, heartfelt prayer will open to us the secrets of heaven.  Jesus is the only One worthy to open the scroll and to touch our eyes and our hearts.  Our blindness is not the end of the story, but only the beginning.

 



Prayer

8:00 a.m.

Two teachers enter their classrooms to begin their day.  One is praying; one is not.  What's the difference?

Two mothers begin their day of cooking, cleaning, driving children to their appointments -- One is praying; one is not.  What's the difference?

Two men leave for work:  one is praying; one is not.  What's the difference?

Two researchers are in the laboratory: one is praying; one is not.  What's the difference?

If we look at children from their earliest moments, we know:

The infant crying from hunger or pain is praying.
The baby learning to crawl is praying.
The child happily coloring is praying.
The toddlers exchanging blows over a favored toy are praying.
The young children racing around the playground, swinging as high as they can, and trying every installment on the field with great exuberance-- all are praying.
The young children listening to their teachers are praying.  Those trying to solve the math problems or writing sentences on their own are praying.
The teens developing their intellects and questioning their elders are praying.
Young lovers sitting at the edge of a riverbank discussing their future are praying.

When did we stop praying?  When did we lose our communion with the presence of God?  When did we stop growing, expanding our souls, moving toward the infinite? 

The Spiritual Journey

We are all on a journey to Mt. Sinai at the center of our souls.  We are all in the desert, trying to make our way to the Promised Land, the land flowing with milk and honey.  We are all wandering around, trying to make sense of the road signs along the way.  And we are all just walking one another home.

We are all hoping to hear the Voice that speaks to our inner man, and we are all feeding hungrily on whatever manna we can find on the way.  We are all thirsting for the water that satisfies our souls and that gives us comfort and refreshment in a dry land.

From the time I was a child, I collected bits and pieces of inspiration that gave me hope, that gave me joy, that opened a door to the truth I sought.  In high school, I made my own 'anthology of wisdom,' of writings, sayings, and quotations that inspired me, that pointed me along the path, and that gave me joy.  My soul resonated with the truth as it was expressed by those who had gone before me, so when I taught Sophomore and Junior religion later in life, I had the girls make their own spiritual anthologies, or collections of the wisdom that inspired their souls.  We decoupaged the covers of their anthologies, to make them more inspiring and permanent and beautiful -- and I let them find the truths that satisfied them on their own journeys.

This is why I blog today.  At some point in my life, I saw myself holding up a chalice to receive wisdom and truth from The Only Source, truth that would spill over to anyone standing near.  I have been extraordinarly privileged to have access to -- and to love finding -- great teachers of wisdom, and I have collected morsels from their teaching that have fed me on my own journey.  And my greatest desire is to share those morsels with others who are also hungry for truth and wisdom.  I feel that I am carrying small wafers of bread in my apron to feed the hungry, and I so want to share my little bites with the world around me.

And yesterday, while cleaning the guest room for my brother, I discovered on my shelf a book by Benedict Groeschel, a great Franciscan monk whose writings have resonated in my soul for many years.  Because of the markings in the book, I know that I must have read it before, but today it seems new to me all over again ---that is the way of the Spirit of God, making all things new again!  Once again, I am thrilled to the core at discovering this book, called The Journey Toward God.  I had forgotten this book, which is a collection of writings about the spiritual journey, or the spiritual development of each individual.  His collection includes writings from Catholics, Protestants, and Orthodox Christians, and Benedict Groeschel arranges these writings to correlate with contemporary developmental psychology, as he did some years ago (1982) in his book called Spiritual Passages, the book that first awakened me to Groeschel. 

In this latest book, Groeschel uses three works as his organizational framework: Evelyn Underhill's Mysticism, Garrogou-Lagrange's The Three Ages of the Spiritual Life, and M. Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled.  It is so good to know that others have traveled the road ahead of us and have left behind them signs and guides to our own journey.  As Groeschel says in his introduction, for the person who attempts an anthology of such writings, "frustration is an unavoidable experience."  We are always leaving out important works and including those that informed readers will question.  But Groescel's response is this: Don't complain to me.  Make your own anthology, and send me a copy.  Better yet, publish it yourself.

That's a great answer, to my way of thought.  Each one of us will resonate to different traditions, to different insights, to different points of view.  And each anthology or collection will reflect the experience, trials, and triumphs of those seriously attempting to respond to the call of God, "Come to a land I will show you."  The desert experience will be different for each one of us, but there is much in common that we can share with one another on the way.  Let us begin!

Who Are We Trying to Please?

When I first began working at the Community College, I found myself very busy.  There were so many things I wanted to achieve, and I found myself on a lot of committees, buried under a lot of tasks.  I remember one day sitting in my office, trying to figure out which demand on my time I would have to address first that day, when a sweet and gentle interior voice spoke to me:  Who are you trying to please?

As soft and sweet as that voice was, it made a great impact on my life.  It made me pause.  It made me think.  Looking back on that moment now, I think maybe those words actually changed the direction in which I was running so hard.  And reflecting back on that experience now, after a lot of years and a lot of experience, I think maybe, without saying it directly at the time, those words can be summed up in I Cor. 13:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 

At the beginning of my wonderful (to me, if not to others) career at the college, I of course wanted to do 'great things.'  And there was so much to be done -- and such wonderful people to do it with.  It was easy to be swept along by the momentum, by the joy, of doing wonderful things.  But the question asked of me that day was not, "What wonderful things can you accomplish?" but rather, "Who are you trying to please?" 

 

That question changed me, I think.  I realized at that moment what John the Baptist said:

 

A man can receive only what is given him from heaven.  You yourselves can testify that I said, "I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.  The bride belongs to the bridegroom.  The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice.  That joy is mine, and it is now complete.  He must become greater; I must become less (Jn.3:27-30).

 

Each one of us can do only what has been assigned to us to do; we cannot do what has been assigned to someone else.  Let me give an example:  When I first moved into my home after the ravages of Katrina, I had to begin getting rid of the rampant weeds that had overtaken the once-beautiful landscaping in my yard.  I really did not know what I was doing; I could do only the simple things I knew to do -- dig up the weeds and put something in their place to keep them from returning and taking over once again.  And, as I have written before, it seemed that every time I cleared a space, my beautiful neighbor from across the street would arrive bearing gifts from her yard:  african iris, indian hawthorne, and once, even a queen palm.  What largess, what bounty, fell into my hands!  I was jumping for joy at the task!  Each bed was restored with a great deal of love and labor, and I thought it was absolutely beautiful.

 

Then a year or so ago, a landscaper rebuilt her home in the next block, and in very short order -- a few months at the most -- she had the most gorgeous yard, one I love to gaze at whenever I take my afternoon walk.  She uses large, showy, plants that make my own beds look paltry.  I started to think about all the work I had done, but my beds don't look like hers -- obviously, she knows something I don't know!  And then, I thought again: "Who are you trying to please?"

 

When I was weeding and planting, I did not think about making my garden look like Better Homes and Gardens -- though maybe I should have been. And if I had had more knowledge and experience at the task, I am sure I could have made my yard a showcase.  But at the time, I just wanted to salvage the poor yard that had been so devastated by the storm.  I wanted it to be weed-free and a place I could enjoy strolling through.  I was willing to devote long hours to the task, and I did not really think much about what others would see from the street when they looked at my yard.  In other words, I was not thinking like a landscaper would think.  In fact, now that I think back on it, I realize how often the landscaper passed by, walking her dogs, and I wonder if she wanted to scream at me:  You're doing it all wrong!  (based on her knowledge and experience.)  But she always smiled and waved and let me work my own way. 

 

So here's my lesson for the day:  I think all we can do is to carry out what we have been given with love.  It may not look like much to anyone else, but the important thing is to remain faithful to that which we have been given to do.  Yesterday, someone said to me, "When God gives us a task, he also gives us all the tools and resources we need to complete the task."  I just love that, and I believe it!  We cannot be looking to see who is pleased with our task; we must only go back to our Divine Source to see if we are doing whatever it is He asked us to do.  And we cannot compare our task to  what He has given to others to do.  Peter asked Jesus, "What about him [John]?"  And Jesus replied, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me" (Jn.21:22).

 

Only the Lord knows our own strength and what we can carry, and he will not ask more than what we can bear -- but we must rely on Him to provide the strength for the task He gives us.  Otherwise, our discouragement and weakness will cause bitter disappointment at the results.  But as St. Polycarp, the bishop of Smyna, showed his people who were being martyred with him, Jesus is sufficient for every task, even to the very end.  If we rely on His strength, and not worry too much about the results of our tasks, He will carry us and complete the very thing He has asked us to do.

Teach Us to Pray

The disciples watched Jesus in prayer, saw Him absorbed in prayer, and said to Him: Lord, teach us to pray.  They wanted what He had, they wanted to experience what they saw in Him -- the love, peace, and joy suffused on His face.  It had been said of Moses that after he had spent time in God's presence, he had to wear a veil over his face until the shekinah glory -- the light of God's presence-- diminished.  The people could not gaze on his face at first because of the glory therein.  When Moses went into the tent of meeting, the people waited at the entrance of their tents until he came out: "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend" (Ex. 33:11).

(Interestingly, though Moses would return to the camp, "Joshua, son of Nun, did not leave the tent."
There is no further commentary on that line of Scripture, but it was Joshua/Yeshua/Jesus who was destined to lead the people into the Promised Land, not Moses.)

Did the apostles see on the face of Jesus the glory of the Lord -- the shekinah glory?  Is that what moved them to ask, "Lord, teach us to pray"?  They, too, wanted to enter the tent of God's Presence and speak to Him 'face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.'  It seems to me that if we had no other goal in life than to speak with God face to face, it would be enough!

And Jesus said to them, in effect:  Begin by acknowledging Who it is to Whom you speak -- Our Father who art in heaven.....

I think maybe very few of us actually begin our prayer by acknowledging Who it is to whom we speak.  It is as if we were appearing at City Hall or some official office and speaking to a representative of the city....or in this case, a Representative of Official Heaven: "Dear God, whoever You may be, I'd like to speak with you about a matter of some concern....I wonder if You might be able to assist me....."

How many of us begin our prayer by crying out, Abba!  Father!  Father of my spirit; Father of my soul!  Creator of all that I am and Finisher of all that I want to be!  Goal of my life on earth! 

The only reason we pray is to have communion with the Living Presence of God -- and it's a dialog, "as a man speaks with his friend" -- not a monolog.

Last week, some of us were mentioning how hard it is when people call us on the phone and talk for 2 hours about nothing.  We recognize that these people are very lonely, that they have no one to talk to, and that they need a listening ear -- so we listen!  But this is not how 'a man speaks with his friend, face to face.'  There is no common interest in this conversation; it is more like someone trying to process his/her life issues in front of a listening ear.  And certainly, there is a place for a listening ear; that's why people go to psychiatrists and psychologists.  But it is not prayer.

Prayer is finding common ground between ourselves and our Father in heaven.  It is seeing from His perspective, not just our own.  That's the way friends talk to one another.  Sometimes they argue -- but the Jews taught us all about arguing with God -- and He never seemed to mind it at all.  When we get to the point that we can truly say, "Our Father Who art in heaven....." and truly know that He is "Father," we are ready to pray.  We have found our common ground and are ready to enter the Tent of Meeting and to receive the glory of His Presence all over us.

Hunger

My soul yearns for you in the night;

in the morning my spirit longs for you (Is. 26:9).

 

As a child attending Catholic school, I would often slip into the quiet, still church at recess or during the summer break.  There I would experience peace and stillness; I would know a Presence that drew me.  But as an adult with three small children, I hungered for peace.  There was no 'slipping away" to find the Presence that would sustain me through the constant demands of my daily life, demands for which I found myself wholly inadequate to meet -- constant sickness and crying on the part of my children, my own inability to cope with meals, diapers, housekeeping, etc.  My spirit was weak, not strong; I did not know how to do what I was supposed to do every single day.  Moreover, I found that I could not find the time for what I most desperately needed -- communion with God.  If I got up early to pray, a baby would wake up crying; at night, I was so tired that I could barely drag myself into bed for the brief hour or less of sleep until the next feeding or waking time.

 

As I have written before, I sought help through all the gurus I could find:  Yoga, Transcendental Meditation, Unitarianism, Hare Krishnas, and Yokefellows.  I found that all of them had value; all of them were 'true,' in a sense, and their followers were good and holy people.  But there was a problem at the core of every 'system' I tried:  I had to 'do' it.  Every system I tried demanded kind of discipline on my part -- and here's the catch: if I possessed the discipline to follow this system, I would not have needed it.  If I had discipline, I could have 'gotten my life together' like other people did; I could have organized myself to deal with the children, the house, and the meals.  That's what I could not do!

 

Besides that, I desperately wanted peace inside instead of the sense of constant failure and fear that I was not equal to the task.  There is a Scripture somewhere that says, "Open wide your mouth, and I will fill it."  And in Hebrews, I think, Paul says, "He caused you to hunger in the desert that He might fill you with the finest of wheat."  Now that the Holy Spirit brought Scripture into my life that I might understand "how things work" in the spiritual life, I understand that God causes us to hunger for the very thing He wants to give us.  Moreover, He allows us to search for that which will fill our yearning in order that we might find it and know the Source of our contentment:

 

You will keep in perfect peace

him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you (Is 26:3).

 

When God answered my deep yearning by sending me two people who were not afraid to pray over and with me, I discovered that peace is a GIFT; I did not have to earn it by standing on my head, thinking wonderful and beautiful thoughts, taking off my shoes and wearing a yellow robe, or following any system of prayer.  It was GIVEN FREELY and without condition!!!!!  I did not have to 'do' anything except receive it with joy!   Everything I had been hungering for for so long was poured into my spirit without reserve!  What had just happened here?  Like the woman at the well, I dropped my 'water jug' and ran to the village --- the first person I could think of who would 'get it,' who would understand what I had just experienced, the first person I could think of with whom I would have communion of spirit -- Brenda Borges.

 

I had not known Brenda previously, but she had come up to me in church one day when I was sobbing all alone in the pew.  "Whatever it is," she said; 'give it to God!"  "That's just what I cannot do!" I sobbed.  When she heard I had a doctor's appointment the next day with James Seese, she was relieved.  She knew Dr. Seese, and she told me that he did not walk around the block without praying about it first, so she knew I was in good hands.  Sure enough, after I had poured out my heart to Dr. Seese, he asked if he could pray with me.  I had nothing to lose, so whatever he wanted to do was fine with me -- God knows I had tried everything else! 

 

And with that simple prayer, God poured all over me His Spirit of love and truth and peace.  I knew at that moment everything for which I had been hungering for so long; I knew that "I" did not have to 'do' anything as long as I had this wonderful peace.  For the first time in my life, I was "home."  In the days following, I found that I could walk in this peace, sit in it, lie down in it.  I needed to pray, but if I could not find the time to do so, I found I could trust God to give me what I needed when I needed it.  And lo and behold, one of my neighbors suddenly decided that she wanted to take all three of my kids to the bank with her!  What kind of madness was this?  I told God that whenever He gave me 20 minutes, I would sit down and pray -- and whenever He didn't, I would not fret.  I would remain in the peace He gave me.  And the time I had been so craving for communion with God began to open up here and there.  Such an amazing journey I was on: one that I had not been able to give myself up to that time. 

 

In the days to come, I continued to find everything I had been craving for so long: peace, joy, contentment, freedom from fear, and wonderful companionship with others who also knew the Source of all they needed.  Is it any wonder that I became a fanatic, a clown, a 'crazy charismatic'?

 

When God bends down to feed the hungry, will they not dance for joy and ignore the sneers of those who have not experienced the great hunger of their souls that has been filled by the gracious hand of God?

Two Worlds

My kingdom is not of this world....(Jn.18:36)

 

Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit (Jn. 3:6).

 

Toward the end of his life, the brilliant doctor of the church Thomas Aquinas, who had written volumes of theology, exclaimed, "It is all straw!" of his writings.  And Jesus told Nicodemus, "I have spoken to you of earthly things, and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?"

 

We live in two worlds: the earthly world, which is wonderful and magnificent in itself; and the heavenly world, the world which we enter only through the door of Jesus Christ and prayer. And those who journey in the unseen world find it very difficult to describe what they see there.  In fact, I would say that it is virtually impossible to tell of our experience, except to those who have already been in that world themselves.

 

Recently, I re-watched Star Wars, and again, I was struck by the parallels between true Christianity and this movie.  Luke Skywalker lived in a desolate world controlled by power and dominion; the only 'life' to be lived in that world was a life controlled by the evil empire.  Any deviation from the values of the empire was soon crushed.  But the rebel alliance, a weak and insignificant group of people, knew their strength came from another world -- the ancient world of Obi Ben Kenobi and of Yoda -- the world of "the Force."

 

Luke's journey into that world meant he had to let go of his own powers of sight, hearing, and intellect -- the powers of this world -- and enter into a "cloud of unknowing," in the words of the spiritual masters, a world where he could depend neither on his senses nor on modern technology for assistance.  Luke had to trust "the Force" to lead him, and he had to do it by submitting his own life to the power of the Force.  And though he could have told others of his journey and the stages that led him to his final submission of his life and personal powers, his descriptions would have been only a 'story,' or a 'fairy tale' to those who themselves had not made the same journey into the unseen world. 

 

I have been to China, and though I can describe what I saw there, I cannot really pass on my experience of China to anyone who has not been there themselves.  Before I went to Rome, I had seen pictures of St. Peter's and the Vatican, but they were indeed "another world," a world I had not visited for myself.  And the pictures were 'as straw' to me in the world I lived in before I went there for myself.  Now, though, when I see images of St. Peter's and the Vatican, those images trigger memories of my own experiences in those places.

 

Paul says, "We do...speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God's wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden ....none of the rulers of this age understood it...as it is written:

 

no eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love him" (Is. 64:4).

 

But then Paul goes on to add this: "but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit" (I Cor.2:6-10).

 

The one who has never visited China or Rome will never resonate with my experience there; to that person, I am just describing "a foreign country."  So too, the words of the spirit will never resonate with the one who has not entered the world of prayer:  the man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned...but we have the mind of Christ (I Cor. 2:14).

 

Like Luke Skywalker, there is only one way into the world of Spirit -- we must lay down our own lives, the life of this world, and enter in through the door of Jesus Christ, in submission to Him of all our natural powers and strengths.  Then and only then can He begin to teach us the things of his kingdom, the kingdom "not of this world." 

 

There are Ben Kenobi's and Yoda's still left in this world to point the way to the unseen world, but we must enter that world for ourselves; they can take us up to the door but not through it, much as Moses, the Law-giver, could lead his people up to the Promised land, but only Jeshua/ Joshua / Jesus could take them into it.



Learning to Let Go(d)....

"If only....."     From the time we are teenagers, I guess, and notice that we are not as good, as strong, as beautiful, as smart, etc. as we wish we were, or as our friends or others are, we think to ourselves, "If only I were more in control of my life....if only I were a better person....if only I were smarter, or more sensitive, or a better person....if I were a better student, mother, father, Christian.....if only..."

But the truth is that none of us will ever be strong enough, smart enough, prayerful enough, wise enough, organized enough.... to contol our lives.  In our twenties, or whenever we begin to try building our own lives apart from that of our parents, we quickly begin to learn what the Israelites had to learn the hard way: 

The Lord did not choose you and set His affection on you because you were more numerous than other poeples, for you were the fewest of all peoples (Deut.7:7).

 

It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of the land...understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people (Deut. 9:5-6).

 

Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable practices and say, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says to Jerusalem: 'Your ancestery and birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite.  On the day you were born, your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloth.  No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you.  Rather, you were thrown into an open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.

 

Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your own blood, and as you lay there in your blood, I said to you, 'Live!'  I made you grow like a plant of the field.  You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels.  Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare.

 

Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness.  I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you', declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine....[read the rest of the story in Ezekiel 16 -- it is most descriptive and engaging -- I told you the Lord gives us a child's picture book, and this is one of the most descriptive.]

 

In her visions, Julian of Norwich saw the great mercy of God, which bends down with the greatest love and compassion over the weakest of men, the greatest of sinners.  "As a mother has compassion on the child of her womb," says the Lord (Is. 49)....    In Hebrew, the word for 'mercy' is related to the word for 'womb.'  And Julian says that the weaker we are, the more pitiful, the more lost in sin, the more the love of God is drawn to our helplessness.  Is this not what Jesus showed us, taught us about the love of His Father?  The parable of the Prodigal Son, the words, "It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick..,"  all of Jesus' miracles -- all point to the same thing:  it is when we finally acknowledge that we cannot, that we are powerless, helpless, that the mercy of God bends low over us.

 

We go from trying to build the tower of Babylon in our lives to the humility of Abraham who 'knew not where he was going, but trusted the Lord to lead him.'  Psalm 91 is the portrait of the man/woman of God:

 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."

 

And Jeremiah says this: 

 

This is what the Lord says:

'Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom

or the strong man boast of his strength

or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:

that he understands and knows me,

that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,

justice, and righteousness on earth,

for in these I delight,' declares the Lord (9:23-24).

 

When we are finally ready to acknowledge that we are not now -- and will never be -- smart enough, strong enough, good enough, organized enough, or whatever, to run our lives successfully, we are finally ready to let go and let God.....and what a great, inexpressible relief it is to let Him be God and Lord of our lives!  I understand the lame man leaping for joy when he was touched by Christ!  That is exactly the expression of my spirit leaping for joy when I am finally freed from the shakles of my own 'trying'!

 



The Breath of God

Jesus said, "Be perfect, as your Father in heaven is perfect."  He did not say, "I know it's not possible, but do the best you can."  He did not say, "Try to be perfect" (Thank goodness! -- I would give up before I got started on this one.)  He is a Realist; not a dreamer. 

So what on earth was He talking about?  Exactly the same thing He spoke of to Nicodemus:  that which is born of flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.  Do not wonder that I say to you, 'You must be born again.'  The wind blows where it will, and you hear its sound but do not know where it comes from or where it goes.  So is everyone who is born of the Spirit (JN.3:6-8).

When Nicodemus came to Christ at night, he was like the Apostle Paul: "a doctor of the Law who moves at ease among the minute details of ritual prescriptions and the subtleties of rabbinical interpretations."*  Nicodemus recognized in Jesus the spirit of God at work, and he came seeking from Jesus a doctrine so that he could be a follower of this way of life, this spirit he recognized in Jesus.  He wanted to be a disciple.

And Jesus recognized in Nicodemus the heart of a disciple, a desire for purity, humility, and truth.  These things are not "acquired;" they are given, bestowed on us by the Spirit Who lives within us.  Jesus did not give Nicodemus a new 'rule' of life to follow; He told him to seek the New Birth.  Now what follows is very interesting -- Jesus speaks of the wind and then says, "So is everyone who is born of the Spirit." 

We cannot tell what and how the Spirit will work in us once we surrender.  We cannot follow a regimen of prayer and fasting and almsgiving that will control the action of the Holy Spirit -- although by denying the 'flesh' and its demands, and turning to God, we can open ourselves to the work of the Spirit.    Jesus says to Nicodemus, "Thou art a teacher in Israel, and do not know these things?"  Wow!  And Nicodemus, startled though he may be, accepts Jesus' words and 'casts down his poor learning before the transcendence of the Master's.  Now light floods his soul --- it was the same experience that Saul had on the road to Damascus. 

Spiritual rebirth does not come through learned study; recall my vision yesterday of the great King breathing into the face of the infant.  Spiritual rebirth comes through surrender to the breath of God, the wind that blows not where we will, but where the Spirit wills.  We cannot tell where, how, or when God will act; we must wait humbly and expectantly for His action how, when, where He wills.

"Be ye perfect...."  It is Jesus who came to fulfill the law perfectly, and He is the Author and Finisher of our faith.  We surrender our souls to Him in poverty of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding; we allow Him to lead us as He will -- and He will never disappoint or fail us.  He is sufficient for every circumstance, every condition, and He says, "Be not afraid; I am your shield and your very great reward" -- the same words spoken to Abraham from the beginning.

When the Holy Spirit begins to operate in us, we are often very surprised at the place where He begins -- it is never the place we thought we needed to work on.  It is usually in the deepest areas of our hearts that He begins to work at first, the areas not easily accessible to us.  And we often find 'the gift of tears' releasing those long-held-in hurts and sorrows. 

We will not understand always the work of the Spirit in our souls, but we can trust Him Who sends the Spirit to us.  Surrender, Trust, Hope, and Breathe in the Breath of God.

Why Be A Christian?

Many people think that Christianity is just one idea among many, and that it is just a matter of culture which 'religion' one adopts.  I've always liked C. S. Lewis' observation that most people don't care very much about being Christians themselves, but they want their auto mechanics, bankers, and plumbers to be Christians.

If the purpose for being Christian is to be 'a good person,' then it may be true that almost any of the world's religions will do.  But what if the purpose for "putting on Christ" is primarily a relationship, a dance, an entering into the ecstasy of Eternal Motion with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit?  Lewis says that if we want to get warm, we must stand by the fire; if we want to get wet, we must get into the water.  And if we want joy, power, peace, eternal life, Divine Energy, we must get close to the thing that has them.  These are not "prizes" that God hands out to "good" people; this is a fountain of life.  If we are close to the fountain, we will absorb the living water; if we are not close, we will remain dry.

If we enter into the life of Jesus Christ, the life He died as a criminal to impart to us, we will be sharing His own life -- begotten from all eternity.  If we share in His life, we are sons of God.  We will love the Father as Jesus does, and the Holy Spirit will dwell in us as He does in Jesus.  Every Christian is to become a little Jesus.  There is no other reason for becoming a Christian, but to live God's own life, to enter into His eternal dance, to raise our arms in praise and thanksgiving, and to receive "every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms" (Eph. 1:3). 

This is the life we were created for -- the divine life.  Nothing else will satisfy us.

This morning, in prayer, I saw an image of a great king, wearing a crown and splendid robes, holding in his arms a tiny baby -- a newborn.  The king was bending tenderly over the newborn and breathing gently into his mouth and nose, much as I've seen mothers blow into their babies faces very softly.  I understood the image -- that this child was receiving the breath/ spirit of the king, that he would be raised as a child of the king, that he would inherit all that the king owned and was, and that the child was eternally blessed. 

Hours later, I happened to pick up C.S.Lewis and read his comments on getting close to the fire, the ones I have summarized above.  It seemed more than coincidence that I was given the words to explain the vision.  The most wonderful thing of all, to me, is that the new birth is not a reward for being good; everyone in the highways and byways was invited to the banquet in Jesus' parable of the great king.  If we are standing by the roadside and hear the invitation, we're invited to come in -- no auditions necessary!

Sodom and Gomorrah

Help!  My yard has become Sodom and Gomorrah, and there is no remedy.  For years -- ever since I moved into this house, as a matter of fact, --- I have been ignoring the dollar weed, the chicks- in-a-basket weed, the wild strawberry weed, and only God Himself knows what other kinds of weeds growing in my lawn.  I have been so intent on tending to the beds, keeping the weeds out of the flowers, that I have allowed the grass to take care of itself.  As long as I ran the lawnmower over the lawn once a week, no one could tell without a close look that the "green" appearance was mostly weeds. 

Now I am paying the price of neglect.  This winter, the weeds I thought I was keeping at bay have invaded all the flower beds and the vegetable garden -- and there is no remedy now; they have taken over.  The only thing I can do now is to pull up all the dirt, pile it up somewhere, and cover it with heavy black plastic, hoping to kill the weeds.  Then I will have to consider using some kind of chemical on the lawn, a practice I have never adopted because of my cats who walk on the grass daily and then lick their paws. 

The problem with weeds is that they are bullies; they cannot "live and let live," peacefully co-existing alongside their neighbors, the non-weeds.  They must conquer all available space; they must dominate and subdue everything not as strong as they are, until they rule without question.

There is a reason that the Hebrew words for "man" (adam) and for "earth" (adamah) are so closely related.  Whatever we see reflected in the earth originates and is a mirror of mankind's spiritual condition.  If we wonder why God had to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, we have a good portrait in the story of Lot.  Even when angels visited the earth, the men of Sodom and Gomorrah were determined to take them over by force.  They could not rest with normal lusts; they had to force their perversions on all visitors to the city.  There was no 'peaceful co-existence' in Sodom and Gomorrah, just as there is no 'peaceful co-existence' in Los Angeles, Mexico, or New Orleans between gang violence and drug cartels and those who chose not to be involved.

The only remedy for sin is death.  When Scripture portrays sin as 'eating,' taking in evil so that it changes our DNA, it is 100% accurate.  And then we pass our sin-prone DNA on to the next generation, where it has deeper and stronger roots -- until finally, Cain had to found the first city, because the earth would no longer yield its produce to him, and where 'everyone who meets me will want to kill me.'

There is no "fix" for sin except death.  I have tumors in my feet which are hereditary; my mother had them, and almost all of my siblings have them also.  Both my mother and my brother attempted surgery on both feet -- very painful -- to remove the tumors.  And even while they were both still on crutches, the tumors had returned; the roots were so deeply embedded in tissue and nerves that they could not be disentangled.  That is sin, both in our "flesh" and in society.  We might suppress the symptoms for awhile, but we cannot cure the evil.

That is why Jesus had to die; He died not for Himself, but for us.  He crucified our flesh -- that which cannot be cured -- and brought it to the grave.  When He arose, He was a "new man," a man born not of flesh and blood, but of the Spirit of God.  And this is the life He gives us; our old man has been crucified with Christ.  The man that now exists is a "new creation," no longer subject to the law of sin and death, but subject to the Spirit of God. 

When we are baptized in water, symbolically we are demonstrating our death to the old man -- the man of sin/adam/earth-- and our resurrection of the new man, the man who belongs to God, who is ruled not by the flesh, but by the Spirit.  Paul says, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me to the glory of the Father."  If Christ lives in us, He will transform our mortal flesh -- as we allow Him -- into His glorious body.  This is a great mystery; it is the mystery of death and new life. 

Now if I could just figure out what to do about all those weeds.....

How Do We Know?

...no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 12:2).

 

...unless a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God (Jn:3:3).

 

How do we know if we've been "born again" of water and the Holy Spirit?  We cannot tell by our observance of the Law, by attendance at church services, or by our upright standing in the community. We cannot tell by our supporting worthy causes or by almsgiving.  All these things are good, but they do not indicate our being born again of water and the Holy Spirit.  All of these things are works of the flesh, and we know that "flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven."  Paul himself wrote that if anyone had reason to put confidence in the flesh, he had more:  circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless (Phil.3: 5-6).

 

Paul goes on to say that he now considers all these things as "loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ."

 

Paul calls the Corinthians "carnal" Christians, because there are divisions among them.  Some claim to follow the teachings of Cephas; some, of Paul, and some, of Apollos.  As I look around today, I am very much afraid that our churches are full of  'carnal' Christians -- those who put their faith in their own observance of the law or of the teachings of men.  Paul says that one man plants and another waters, but both are servants ---it is God who makes things grow, "For you are God's field, God's building (I Cor. 3:9).

 

If our religious observance does not bring us to the Lordship of Jesus Christ over our lives, we are still "carnal," or Christians according to the flesh, but not walking by the Spirit.  Everything we do, according to St. Seraphim, is for one purpose only -- to acquire the leadership and dominance of the Spirit of God in our lives.  And when He comes, when He rules over us, we will be able to say, "Jesus is Lord" of our lives. 

 

We do not say we are perfected in faith or in practice; in fact, at the moment we recognize Jesus as Lord, we are more likely to say with Peter, "Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!"  Before knowing Jesus, Paul most likely would not have considered himself sinful, but pretty good (as did I, before meeting Jesus as Lord).  But after knowing Jesus, we become conscious of who we are -- sinful people.  And this in itself is a sign of the Spirit's Presence:  When He comes, he will convict the world of sin, because they do not believe in me (Jn. 14).

 

When we acknowledge our helplessness toward God and acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior, and completer of our faith, we can be assured that we have been born again of water and the Spirit.  Tomorrow, I will tackle the concept of  'water' in this context.

 

 

 



Who's the Boss?

Watching the end of the Pro-Am Golf tournament yesterday, I saw Schnedecker, the winner, tell the tv interviewer, "You've got to do this fast; here comes the boss."  And the camera panned to show his young wife holding a baby on each hip as she approached her husband.  Schnedecker said, "here comes the boss" with so much joy and enthusiasm that his delight was evident.  You just knew that he loved taking orders from his wife, that his 'delight was in the law of [his wife],' to put it in Scriptural terms.

Two of my close friends are a husband and wife, both of whom are gourmet cooks.  One would think that when they cook together, as they often do, that each one would impose his or her way of doing things on the other.  But, as a matter of fact, before they begin each project, they decide ahead of time who's going to be the boss, the general, in the kitchen, and who's going to be the sergeant, the one taking orders.  And the project runs smoothly every time.

I wonder how many of us have consciously decided who's going to be the boss in our spiritual lives.  I think this is what the story of Adam and Eve is all about -- Eve decided, with the help of the serpent, that she wanted to be the boss, based on what she could see and "Know," according to the "knowledge," or "inside information" given to her by the serpent.  I think most of us live our lives as if we were, in fact, the boss of each project we undertake.  How many of us consciously and deliberately surrender control of our projects to the Holy Spirit of God?

Watchman Nee tells in one of his books of how for some time, God had 'exercised' him to write this book.  I know the feeling; when the Spirit wants you to do something, He's pretty good at 'nagging' you into action, and he knows exactly how long it will take for you to respond to Him.  So Nee began to write his book, and he had to discipline himself daily to work on it.  (Again, I know the feeling here.)  And then, he really got into his project; it began to take on a life of its own.  "Now," said Nee, "suppose Jesus returns before I finish writing this book, to take His disciples back to heaven, and I say to Him, 'but what about this book you wanted me to write?'  [i.e. now the project has become more important than listening to orders.]  'Fine,' Jesus will say, 'stay here and finish the book'."

Nothing is more important in our lives than prayer, than listening every day and each moment, to the boss, than communing with the Spirit of God.  We do not know which way the wind blows, nor do we know where and how the Spirit will speak, nor what He will say.  No project of ours is ours--everything belongs to God; He's the boss.  And if we are not listening to His instructions, we cannot expect our projects to succeed.

When I teach my Confirmation class from week to week, I must listen daily to the Spirit; I must pray daily that Jesus, the real Teacher, will give me the words of everlasting life to pass on to these children.  Only He knows what these children need to hear, and where they are spiritually at each moment.  This is not 'my' project; it is His.  And He must complete it according to His plans and thoughts, not mine.  If I fail to listen to Him, I can expect nothing.

I remember once hearing a pastor from South Korea say that he begins each morning acknowledging the Holy Spirit as "the Senior Partner" in his business for the day.  What a concept! 

Today, O Holy Spirit of God, I surrender all my plans and projects into Your hands; guide me in all Your ways, and make Your thoughts known to me.

Like a Child's Picture Book

Every child has the right to know what his father expects of him -- Source unknown

 

"This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the Lord.

"I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.  I will be their God, and they will be my people.  No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the Lord (Jer. 31: 33-34).

 

Jesus promised to send us His Spirit of Truth, who would lead us into all truth and teach us from within.  This is the fulfillment of Jeremiah's prophecy that God Himself would teach us and write His law -- His instruction -- on our minds and our hearts.  When I first began to experience for myself this promise of God, though at the time, I did not know enough about Scripture to realize what was happening, I thought I was imagining things.  I did not know that God will teach us as we teach children.  I would have visions -- at the time, I would not have called them visions, but only mental images -- where I would understand deep truth with no words.  Only later would I have the words to explain what I understood in these image.  It was as if God in His mercy were giving me a child's picture book to explain things He wanted me to understand. 

 

Now I know that the bible itself is a giant picture book.  God does not give us principles so much as images, stories:  This is what faith looks like -- the story of Abraham; this is what hope looks like -- Isaiah speaking to the captives in Babylon, etc.  But it took many years for me to realize that God speaks to us, directs us, teaches us in pictures and images.  In the meantime, I finally consecrated my imagination to God, because I was receiving images, and I did not want to be making things up on my own.  Now I believe that God will speak to every single one of us in the way we can best understand -- He is the Great Teacher!

 

Yesterday, I asked whether we wanted to see ourselves as God sees us, a pre-requisite to loving our neighbor as we love ourselves.  Here is the vision of many years that led to that question:

 

I saw myself in a cloud high above a mountain.  I could see the top of the mountain, and I could see many different paths leading from the base of the mountain to its summit.  I could see people at different stages along the way; some had wandered off their paths into deep woods, and they could not find their way back to the path.  "Can I help them?" I asked the Lord.  "No," He answered; "on the journey, they will come to know the Guide."  And I realized that I was not the Guide; they had to come to know Him and Him alone.

 

Suddenly, I saw myself at the base of an invisible mountain that stretched high above me.  I could see no path at all, and it was given to me to understand that I would not know whether I was going up or down, left or right.  All I was to know was the One Who was leading me.  And then, I clearly saw in front of me something like a library table with four small drawers in it.  I opened the first drawer and saw small cards like bookmarks.  I understood these to represent the Ten Commandments.  The second drawer held the same small cards -- these represented the Beatitudes.  And the third drawer also held small cards, which represented the secrets of men's hearts.  The 4th drawer would open only a couple of inches, much as a kitchen drawer with a spatula stuck inside; something was keeping it from opening all the way.  I finally managed to squeeze in my hand enough to draw out a scroll, and I was anxious to see what was written on the scroll.  But when I opened it, I saw nothing.  I cried because I knew there was something written on the scroll, but I was not able to see what was there. 

 

Then the understanding came to me in a flash:  from childhood, God had given to me to know and understand the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and sometimes even the secrets of men's hearts.  But what I did not know and could not know were the secrets of my own heart.  The "drawer" to my own heart was closed, and I was not able to open it myself.  And even when I could see it, I could not read what was written on it.  Then the scroll unrolled upwards towards heaven -- and I understood that if I allowed God to write on my heart and to show me what He writes, it would lead me into heaven.

 

That was the end of the vision.  As I spent the next few months praying about the vision, trying to understand it, the first word was inscribed on the scroll, and I was able to read it.  Since that time, some 30+ years ago, I have been able to see only three words in all, but it is enough.  I understand that I can see only what I allow the Lord to put there, and it takes much time for Him to write what He wants in my heart.  First, He has to tear down the resistance and the barriers I put up against His will for me.

 

I share this vision because I am convinced that God wants to teach each one of us in His own way, and I want to encourage others to embrace whatever it is the Holy Spirit wants to do in us.  If we believe that dreams and visions are only for prophets and holy men, we will not believe that God will use them to teach us.  But His word says that even youths and serving girls will be taught of God -- see Joel 2: 28-29).  My vision may mean nothing to someone else, but it has sustained me all these years; I am still trying to learn the lessons it has taught me and is still teaching me.

 



Body, Soul, Spirit

You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, and your whole mind, and your whole strength...and your neighbor as yourself.

Yesterday I wrote about 'detoxing' the poisons from our souls and spirits, as well as from our bodies. In Scripture, when the word 'heart' is used, it refers to our spirit, our 'inner man.'  So when both Deuteronomy and Jesus advise us to love God with our whole heart, they are referring to our spirit, our source of life. 

The mind (in Greek--psyche) refers to our mind and emotions -- the psychological part of our being.  And "strength" refers to our physical component.  So Jesus is telling us to love God Spirit, Soul, Body---with our entire selves.  If we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, our 'self' must be cleansed first by the love of God, by God's own love flowing through it.  Until we love ourselves as God loves us, until we see ourselves as God sees us, the Spirit cannot flow through us to our neighbor; it will be blocked in whatever areas we hate ourselves.

Because we are not in touch with our 'inner man,' and because we do not read Scripture so as to know the mind of God, we do not really know how God regards us.  The "Tree of Knowledge" still tends to dominate our thinking, even in regard to who we are.  "Knowledge" refers to the psychological realm--that is, the knowledge we glean through the mind.  It does not see or know the same way the spirit sees and knows -- and it cannot penetrate the 'inner man.'  It tends to make what is on the surface of things "the truth," the essence, without penetrating any further.

Jesus kept saying, "Let him who has ears to hear, hear."  I will extrapolate his saying to this also:  "Let him who has eyes to see, see."  Obviously, he was not referring here to bodily ears and hearing, for all in the crowd could hear the words he spoke.  When he opened the eyes of the blind and the ears of the deaf, these were signs of what was happening to others who had working eyes and ears on the physical level -- their spiritual eyes and ears were being opened also to see and hear "The Son of God" speaking and acting in their midst.  This is why we must be born again, not of flesh, but of spirit.  Otherwise, we are limited to the Tree of Knowledge, which cannot grasp things of the spirit.

Do we really want to see ourselves as God sees us -- our 'inner man'--- or are we so afraid of that revelation that we really don't want to see?  Can we allow God to show us ourselves as He sees us?

Tomorrow, I will tell about a vision given to me many, many years ago, a vision I have not shared with many people.  It is too long to begin now, and I would prefer to end here with the question above.  It is a question of trust, for if we do not know God enough to trust Him, we have already answered the question.

Detox!

Lent is the Springtime of our lives!  Lent is a great time to 'detox' spiritually from whatever it is that is poisoning us.  Many people spend alottabucks on detox programs or fasts to purify their bodies, but what about purifying our souls and spirits from accumulated poisons?

Each year, I always begin teaching my students that we are spirit - soul - body.  And that our energy flows not from our bodies, but from our spirits, the part of us that is most in contact with God's own energy, His Spirit.  Whatever is deepest in us, whatever we are receiving (or not receiving) from God flows from our 'inner man' to our souls -- our minds and emotions.  The mind and heart are controlled by the spirit.  And the spirit is controlled by our connection with God. 

Whatever is in our minds and hearts, in turn, affects our bodies.  If we are depressed, or blocked in our flow of energy, it will show in our bodies.  The body is a mirror to our mind and our spirit; whatever we are feeling inside will be reflected externally.  A calm and peaceful mind and spirit will radiate outwards on our faces and in our levels of energy. 

Who we are is an intricate system of mind, body, and spirit.  When we are rooted firmly in God, our Divine Source, our energy flows as a blessed stream to those around us.  On the last and greatest day of the Feast of Tabernacles, the day which celebrated the water flowing from the rock in the desert, Jesus stood up and said, "Whoever is thirsty, let him come to me, and from his belly will flow streams of living water."  He spoke thus of the Spirit, which was to be given to all those who live in His resurrected life.

Can we imagine anything greater than to live as a flowing stream of blessings to those around us?  In Hebrew, the words for 'flowing stream' [berekah] and 'blessing' [berakah] are separated by a single vowel, and the words are used interchangeably as puns for one another throughout Genesis.  If we assume that whatever lies deepest within our spirits will inevitably flow out of us to others, would it not be in our best interests to detox the stream of water that flows out of us to those around us?

The command God gave to Abraham was "Be thou a blessing," not only to his own family, not only to his own tribe, and eventually his nation, but to all the nations of the world.  His command to us is exactly the same -- Be thou a blessing-- a pure, clear stream of water flowing from the inner man.  In Oriental philosophy, it is the 'belly,' or 'chakra' from whence all energy flows, not what we call the "heart," or center.  If we, as Western civilization, have a 'knot in our stomach,' we tend to ignore it and keep going, but that 'knot' means that our spiritual energy is being tied up -- we are toxic!

Here are some suggestions* for ''de-toxing' our spirits, and allowing our energy to flow purely once again: 

(1) Find sources of inspiration throughout the day -- every day!  Even driving to work in New Orleans traffic can be the occasion of finding peace on a Christian radio station, a music CD, a glorious sunrise, or a prayer for the guy who is cutting you off in traffic.  My daughter used to carry a disposable camera in her car to "point and click" at things which amused her, inspired her, or captured her attention -- a guy riding his bike through the Quarter, a woman feeding her cats, etc.  Some of the pictures taken while driving were terrible, but it didn't matter; the act of 'pointing and clicking' impressed them on her brain.

(2) Exercise -- strengthening your body helps clear your mind and boosts your mood.  When my children were just down the block at Jefferson Academy, I used to run down to school and back if they forgot their lunch, or a signed permission slip, etc.  I was lucky to be so close to the school, but it was also the only time in my day I could find for exercise. 

(3) Find moments of prayer throughout the day -- I used to pray in the elevator on my way to class on the 3rd floor when I could no longer walk up three flights of stairs.  Red lights on Veteran's Highway were times of connecting with God, as were the moments of walking my dog.  There is no moment in our lives when we do not have to supercharge our batteries -- and prayer is the way to do it.

(4) Detox --  for one week, avoid all negative and unhealthy people if possible, all negative and unhealthy tv programs and books.  Notice what happens to your spirit.  Feed on the positive, the true, the nourishing and beautiful.  Visit a park, a museum, or a radiant spirit.

(5)  Keep a gratitude journal -- if we make a habit of collecting moments of gratitude and writing them down at the end of the day, we can change our mind-set entirely; it can indeed change our very lives.  Our "inner man," clogged up by negative toxins, begins to flow freely and purely, with praise and thanksgiving -- and people will come to us for the pure water of the Spirit of God that flows from us. 

One September, after a summer hiatus from teaching, I returned to school.  One of my friends, a gay man (you need to understand who he was to understand why he was so free to say this),  came up to me and said, "Thank God you are back; it's like water in the desert!)  He startled me when he said this, but I think he was expressing gratitude for a de-toxed spirit in a world full of poison and negativity.  I had no idea the contrast was so obvious, but when we work, we know how poisonous the air can be around us.  We often go on vacation to cleanse our minds and spirits from the stresses of daily life, but going on 'vacation' in our spirits to connect with the Pure, the True, the Holy Spirit of the Living God can happen whenever and however we choose throughout the day.  I thank God that He, through Jesus Christ, has freed us from the demands and rituals of the Law, and has given us the freedom to run, not walk, to our Father's arms at any moment of the day or night!

*Note:  the suggestions here come from St. Anthony's Journal, Jan. 2013.  The article "Living Simply" is by Rachel Zawila.  The commentary is my own.

Not a New Religion

Impress upon all that growth is one of the laws of My Kingdom.

However long your span of life on eath, it can never be too long for growth and progress.

Be ever seeking My will for you.  Not a new religion, not the right religion --- but My will.

Then all will be well and growth will follow. (God Calling 2: Feb. 7)

 

So many people have turned from religion in disgust -- or they go from place to place seeking the perfect church, without ever being satisfied.  But all the religions in the world have only one aim--they are supposed to be pathways to the Almighty.  They exist as channels of grace, of communion, with God.  God wants to meet us, encounter us, love us, lead us, guide us, teach us.  Since we are human beings, we tend to need some kind of human touch, some kind of sign or concrete evidence of the presence of God.  Very, very few people seem to be able to approach God on their own, or to be convinced that He speaks to us directly.  That is why we honor the saints, those who did and do seem to communicate with God and to receive with purity of heart His gifts for mankind.

 

Knowing our weakness, from the beginning, God has provided for us teachers, guides, prophets to hear His voice and to lead us to Him.  Unfortunately, as Jesus put it, 'as soon as the seed is sown, the enemy comes to sow weeds among the wheat.'  And as St. John put it in his first letter, "many false prophets have gone out into the world."  From the time of Paul's ministry, false teachers went out to deceive the people for their own profit, not to bring them to Jesus, but to themselves.  They caused untold anguish for Paul, dividing the church and teaching false doctrines.

 

We already know the fate of the deceivers and false prophets; they are in the hands of God, and Jesus proclaimed to them "Woe to you...."  Jesus told the Apostles that he himself had chosen them, and "yet, one of you is a devil."  We cannot escape false teachers and deceivers; they will be present, trying to destroy the work of God, wherever we go.  So does that mean that we avoid the church altogether, because we can never trust the leaders?

 

Everyone who is called by God must seek always and everywhere the will of God.  There is no substitute for personal prayer and communion with God, through his Son, Jesus Christ, and the Spirit He has given to us.  Each one of us receives from the Spirit the discernment of Jesus --"but we have the mind of Christ" (I Cor. 2: 14 ff).  We come together as a church to hear teaching from the wise and to exercise together the discernment given to the Body of Christ gathered together as one.  If there is a false prophet, or a teaching not from God, the Body will discern the false note, much as an audience will detect a false note in a symphony.  Of course, if individuals in the audience have never heard music before, they may be innocent and think all is well because the conductor is "the expert."  But those who are familiar with the music will know better.

 

The same is true of the church.  If the believers who gather together have sought the will of God and the presence of God in their own lives, they will know the Voice of the Shepherd and recognize it -- and they will rejoice in it. If they are being led astray, they will know it also.  They may continue "attending church" out of habit or social acceptance, but they will not feed in green pastures while they are there.  One of my neighbors told me that he stopped going to church because he would always leave there angry and upset.  Obviously, if the pastor hits a nerve in our lives, it may make us angry, and that can be for us an area where we need to grow.  But that is why, in addition to attending services, we also need daily prayer on our own, plus small groups where we can share our faith and listen to one another.  The Gifts of the Holy Spirit operate in each one of us, but it takes the community to discern whether or not our gifts are genuine and true.

 

If we seek the will of God for our lives, he will inevitably draw us to places where we can be both blessed and be blessings to others.  We will be ministered to by the church, and we in turn will minister to the church.  One of the titles of the pope is "Servant of the servants of God."  I have witnessed for myself how our bishops and priests are servants of the servants of God -- though I know others have not had the same experience with the church.   I think, however, that as we seek the Face of God, he will show us in turn the faces of His family and friends.  And He will show them our face also -- this is what we mean by 'the communion of saints.' 

 



Unforgettable!

After Katrina, I spent a week in a shelter -- the local elementary school.  It was an unforgettable experience in every way, but something happened Friday morning that I can never forget.

We had not eaten all week -- until Wednesday at noon, when somehow the fireman must have raided a store and returned with enough meat and cheese and bread to make sandwiches for everyone in the shelter.  We were so grateful, but that was the end of the available food, until Thursday evening, when somehow, a helicopter arrived with Meals -Ready-to-Eat for everyone in the shelter.  And the Budweiser plant had sent water in Budweiser cans for all of us.  How rich we all felt on Thursday!

In the middle of the night on Thursday, two Greyhound buses arrived from Houston to pick up the 150 Mexican workers in the shelter with us.  A man who had lost his Long-Beach-based business had sent for the buses to pick up all of his workers and their families, who had all been living in one apartment complex, also destroyed by the storm.  The business owner, after giving paychecks to all of his employees and loading them on the buses for Houston, said to me, "I have a mini-schoolbus full of food for the rest of the people in the shelter.  What do you want me to do with it?"

As it was then around mid-night, I suggested that we wait until morning to distribute the food.  When morning came, the Red Cross arrived and commandeered the office for their organizational meeting.  They insisted that we could not feed people until they had taken a census of those registered in the shelter, because those would be the only people we could feed.

In the meantime, the people in the neighborhood surrounding the school had been coming to the shelter for food; they had babies and young children, but no refrigeration, nor formula for bottles, nor milk, etc.  Unfortunately, we had nothing to give them ourselves.  When I saw that we would not be able to distribute the MRE's left in the office until after noon, I told the business owner that we would begin handing out the food he had brought, and I told him how the people in the neigborhood needed food also.  "That's okay," he said, "feed everyone who comes; I have plenty."

We opened the back doors of the small bus and began making sandwiches; he had brought cold meat, cheese, bread, chips, and Gator-aid.  When the neighborhood people saw a line behind the schoolbus, they started coming also and getting in line.  We made sandwiches for everyone in the shelter, all the neighbors, and whoever came for seconds.  Every now and then, the Mexican employee would start looking around the bus, under the seats, etc, and then he would say, "We have no more bread."  The businessman would then say, "Yes we do; look under the seat."  And then, somehow, more bread would appear from under the seat.  A few minutes later, the employee would say, "We have no more meat."  "Yes we do; look under the seat," would come the answer -- and then, we would have more meat.  I was in total awe that day as we fed over 400 people and never ran out of food.  The potato chips ran out, but never the meat, cheese, bread, or drink. 

Later that day, I ran afoul of the Red Cross workers who insisted that we had only enough food for the people in the shelter.  "We have enough," I said; 'when we give out all we have, more will appear."  They decided my services were no longer needed in the office, and I was "let go." 

To this day, I still laugh at the lesson I learned in the shelter.  God knows how to provide for however many people are there.  We need not fear to give all we have; more will be supplied if needed.

Listening to God

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you.

[alternate translation: "Let me guide you with mine eye."]

 

Do not be like the horse or the mule,

which have no understanding

but must be controlled by bit and bridle

or they will not come to you.

Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the Lord's unfailing love

surrounds the man who trusts in him (Ps. 32:8-10)

 

One of the New Testament passages reminds us to 'pray always.'  I have heard people question how that can be done.  But I think the question betrays an understanding of 'pray' as 'saying prayers' -- or of talking to God always.  And actually, "talking to God always" is a more do-able approach than 'saying prayers.'

 

However, we might also think of prayer as simply remaining in the presence of God, bringing everything before Him for His glance, His consideration, His thoughts on the matter -- and then getting our own estimations, opinions, and thoughts out of the way in order to listen to Him.  We often think of Lent as a time of "doing something," giving up something in order to exercise self-control, etc.  But what if we -- for 40 days -- lived in the Presence of God, allowing Him to do what He promises us:  instructing, counseling, teaching.  What an adventure that would be!

 

I included the alternate translation "Let me guide you with mine eye" in the quotation above because it reminds me of a devoted child being guided by the eye, rather than the voice, of his mother.  I once had a dog who so wanted to please me that she always watched my face for approval or disapproval.  Even as a puppy, she never chewed shoes or furniture because she wanted to make me happy.  Later, as she gained self-control, I could walk her through the neighborhood without a leash; I could trust her to listen to my commands.

 

Some children, too, are so sensitive to their mother's moods and wishes that they can be guided with a look.  They know instantly to stop what they are doing or to put into practice something their mother wishes.  I remember when my grandchild was about 4 years old.  I bought a book for her called God's Little Girl.  One of the pages illustrated a child being kind to another, younger, child on the playground.  Later that day, I took my grandchild to the park.  There was only one other child there, a little two-year old.  My grandchild went up to the toddler and asked if she wanted to play.  She offered to play a game with the dolls and stuffed animals my granddaughter insisted on bringing to the park with her.  I could see her imitating the pictures and words in the book we had read that morning.  After we left, I said to her, "You were really 'God's little girl today, weren't you?"  She nodded happily.

 

Now that is a child who can be guided by grace -- by a look, by a thought. 

 

How guidable are we?  Do we know God well enough to know what He is thinking?  Can we know His thoughts toward us?  Lent might be a great time to find out.

The Normal Christian Life -- Part 4

Once we begin to tell others what God has done for us, like the woman at the well, we allow them to drop their own defenses and to open their own souls in hope that He will do the same for them.  Like the villagers, they, too, are awaiting the Messiah, the Promised One -- and our story encourages them to believe that He is nearby and waiting for them. 

The villagers told the Samaritan woman: We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world (Jn. 4:42). 

Once our testimony about the Messiah encourages people to approach Jesus for themselves, they too become believers -- and now, where there were only separate souls all trying to approach God in their own way, now there is a community of believers formed around the person of Jesus Christ -- the way, the truth, and the Life.

Now there is a church, a group of people who have all been touched by God and given different gifts to build up one another and to grow in faith.  Now the Spirit of Jesus begins to flow through the believers -- it is better for you if I go away -- to heal, to nourish, to teach, to encourage, to support one another.  Jesus remains with them, but in the Spirit that operates through each one of them.

And as the Body of Christ, the church receives even more revelation from the Holy Spirit, just as Jesus promised: I have much more to teach you, but you cannot bear it now.  But when He, the Spirit of Truth arrives, he will lead you into all truth.  Together, by exercising all the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, etc., the believers grow in more knowledge and understanding and grace. 

And more people are drawn into the community of believers to meet the Risen Lord.

This is the "Normal" Christian life, based always and everwhere on our encounter with Jesus or with others who have met Him and who can encourage us to seek Him for ourselves.  Like the woman at the well, who began isolated, rejected, abandoned, and depressed, we begin to find ourselves at the center of a community -- accepted, loved, forgiven, and respected for the gifts given to us.  And in that love and acceptance, we continue to grow even deeper in the Spirit of God.

The Normal Christian Life -- Part 3

What wonder in the heart of man when he realizes the beauty, tenderness, and closeness of Communion with Me! --God Calling 2, Feb.1

 

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  -- Marianne Williamson

 

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has never overcome it (John 1:5).

 

For God, who said, "let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ (2 Cr. 4:6).

****************************************************************************

 

All of my life, I loved God; I was drawn to His Presence in the Tabernacle of our church.  I loved being at Mass and praying alone in the church.  I felt the presence of God in church, and often went to morning Mass during summer break.  Riding my bike the mile and a half to church in the early morning and then back home was exciting and exhilirating to me--it was an adventure. 

 

But it was always personal.  Neither as a child nor as an adult would I ever have dreamed of telling others how I felt about God.  It was my deepest secret, not to be shared with even my closest friends.  And yet, because it was the deepest core of my being, I yearned for "fellowship," a word foreign to the Catholic faith.  The Protestant churches use the word freely, but they are more likely to mean a church supper in "Fellowship Hall" than the deepest sharing of faith.  I always thought religion was between me and God, and that was one reason I was taken back by the door-to-door evangelists who wanted me to pray with them. 

 

My first real encounter with the Living Christ, other than in the secret recesses of my heart, came when my doctor prayed for me to receive the Holy Spirit in my moment of greatest crisis.  At that moment, the great "peace that passes all understanding," the peace that knows that God is in charge of my life and that I can finally lay down my burden before Him, descended on me.  I walked out of his office that day knowing that I did not have to make a decision -- that He would take care of me.  And then, in the car, --- the overflowing praise and joy burst out of me for the first time in my life.  I had never prayed/praised like this in my life; it was unstoppable and beyond my own mind, my own thoughts.  In fact, I was singing in tongues---God had to take me out of my own mind, my own thoughts because I had been trapped in them for so long.  And in the days to come, I knew that all I had to do each day was to get up and 'sing' praise and thanksgiving.  I did not have to solve all my problems; in fact, I could not.  I just had to learn to sing.

 

But I was still alone in my praise and thanksgiving; for the first time in my life, I was learning to sing --but no one heard me, and that was just the way I wanted it too.  There was still much more to come, but I could not have guessed it at the time.  Within a few weeks of my initial 'song of praise,' it turned out that I needed major surgery -- God's answer to my fears.

 

While in the hospital, a young mother prayed for me once again to be 'baptized in the Holy Spirit,' and I encountered the Resurrected Jesus once more in peace and joy.  And with this 'second touch,' I could no longer be confined to my own spirit.  Without pain medication and without pain, I began getting out of bed and going into other rooms in the hospital, praying for the sick and 'proclaiming the good news' that God would do for them what He had done for me!

 

Who was this new person living in my body, the one that used to be afraid to mention the name of Jesus for fear that I would offend someone?  Who was this person that was no longer afraid to pray with others?  Who was this new person overflowing with joy and confidence, the one who had gone into the hospital full of fear and anxiety?  This kind of change does not happen overnight -- unless the descent of the Holy Spirit is the same as that of Pentecost on the frightened disciples hiding in the upper room, but who boldly began to proclaim the 'good news' of Jesus Christ after their 'baptism by fire.'

 

Of course, I did not make the connection until I reached over to the hospital nightstand and pulled out the Gideon Bible that was there.  For some reason, the Bible opened to the Acts of the Apostles, and I began reading about the first Pentecost.  Suddenly, I realized that this is what had just happened to me, and I was amazed!  This kind of awakening cannot be engineered my man's efforts; it is the direct action of God upon us.  From that moment on, the Bible was no longer a "book" to me; it was the story of my own life written down for me to read. 

 

And I could not stop reading it for the first time in my life; it was jumping off the page into my heart.  For the next 6 weeks, as I recuperated from surgery, I continued reading the Bible from the Acts of the Apostles to the Book of Revelation.  And then from Genesis to Revelation again.  And then I began to study the Bible -- its history, its geography, its words and word-meanings.  I could not get enough of it without hungering for more.

 

When the Holy Spirit descends on us for ministry, He brings gifts to equip us for ministry -- the gifts of knowledge and of revelation; the gifts of understanding the things of God; the gifts of wisdom and insight; gifts of boldness of speech and overcoming fear of man....

 

Like the woman at the well, once we have truly encountered the Messiah, we are enboldened to run to others, to tell them the 'good news.'  We are no longer afraid of being rejected, or of the opinions of others.  We are excited about what we have been given, and it is greater than anything the world can offer us.  Step 3, if you will, of the "Normal Christian Life" is that we have been made not only disciples of Jesus, but evangelists -- we carry the good news to the world around us. 

 

Tomorrow, 'step 4' in the Normal Christial Life.  I am calling them 'steps' because I do not know what else to call them, but this is not a "Twelve Step program" that we can follow on our own strength or will.  As John says, [we are]...born not of natural descent, nor of human decision,...but born of God." And Jesus told Nicodemus, "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but Spirit gives birth to spirit...the wind/ruah blows wherever it pleases...you cannot tell where it comes from nor where it is going.  So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." 

 

But He was also to say later that the Father knows how to give the Spirit to everyone who seeks, asks, and knocks.