The Normal Christian Life -- Part Two

Yesterday, I wrote about the first step in "the Normal Christian Life" -- a touch from God, a "close moment" when we know His Power and Presence and Peace in the midst of trials and terror.  It may be that this is not our first encounter with the Power and Presence of God; many of us as children knew His closeness as we grew up, or experienced drawing close to Him along the way.  But, as we grew, we also experienced our own 'power and presence' and wanted to 'be as gods' to save ourselves, to exert our own powers and to build our own 'towers of Babel."  Usually, it is when our lives have more or less fallen apart -- like the woman at the well -- that we cry out to God and experience really for the first time what He said to Abraham: Do not be afraid, Abraham, I am your shield and your very great reward (Gen. 15:1).

I remember when I first met the local neighborhood evangelists, who wanted me to say with them 'the sinner's prayer,' confessing that I was a sinner.  I was at that time still in the pride of my life, and I did not think I was "that bad."  In my own mind, I was not perfect, but 'trying to do right.'  Like most people, I had absolutely no spiritual understanding at all of what they were talking about.  I did not think I was a 'sinner.'  HA!  It took direct revelation from the Holy Spirit several years after that to show me the huge crumbling wall of my sin -- but that's another story.  Now I understand that to be a 'sinner' does not necessarily mean that we are doing 'bad things;' it means that without the guidance and instruction of the Holy Spirit in our lives, without listening to God in our hearts, we will (and do) inevitably make the wrong choices, based on our senses, our knowledge, and the 'natural man.'

The result, though we thought we were doing the right thing at the time, is what David describes in Psalm 32:  my strength (literally, "moisture") was sapped as in the heat of summer. We find ourselves and our lives "dried up," without joy, without richness.  David goes on to say, "Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found...."  and Yahweh's answer is this:  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle, or they will not come to you.  Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him (Ps. 32 -- just read it all).

So, in the 'normal Christian life,' we find ourselves like David, with our strength sapped and our 'moisture' dried up -- and then, like the woman at the well-- we have a 'close encounter' with the Lord.  In one moment, we experience "living water" flowing through our entire being---the water of the Holy Spirit for which we have been thirsting -- and we immediately want more!

In Hebrew, there is a close connection -- almost a pun --between the word for 'blessing' and the word for 'stream of water.'  All through Genesis, we see the connections again and again -- and Jesus uses this connection in the Gospels also.  There is a direct connection between the Hebrew Adam and adamah -- the earth, the soil, the ground.  Whatever happens to man himself spiritually is reflected in the state of the earth.  This is an entire lesson in itself, but for now, let me just quote Psalm 65:

When we were overwhelmed by our sins,

you atoned for our transgressions....

 

You care for the land and water it;

you enrich it abundantly.

The streams of God are filled with water

to provide the people with grain....

You drench its furrows

and level its ridges;

 

You soften it with showers and bless its crops.

You crown the year with your bounty,

and your carts overflow with abundance.

The grasslands of the desert overflow;

the hills are clothed with gladness.

the meadows are covered with flocks

and the valleys are mantled with grain;

they shout for joy and sing.

 

This description of the land blessed by God after atoning for man's transgressions is a perfect description of the feeling, of the reality, of a life touched by God.  Its joy overflows and cannot be contained; for the first time, the person  not only cries out in helplessness and despair, but begins to sing with joy and thanksgiving for the richness of the blessings received.  Gratitude instead of despair; songs instead of cries -- this the mark of one whose cry has been heard.  As Isaiah says:

 

to provide for those who grieve in Zion--

to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair (61:3).

So, the "second step," if you will, in the 'normal Christian life' is the overflow of joy -- again, look at the woman at the well, who left her water jar and ran the mile and a half into the village to shout to those who had no regard for her as a person: "Come with me; I have found the Messiah!" 

 

Tomorrow, I will continue the pattern -- but I should warn you that I do not really know if this is the pattern laid out by Watchman Nee in his book or not.  It has been too many years since I read it.  I rather think I am using his title and my own insights, based on my own experience and the experience of so many others I have watched grow in God over these years.



The Power and Presence of God

Yesterday I wrote about the flow of energy in 'the normal Christian life,' as Watchman Nee called it. 
At the top of my diagram, which will not upload to this link, is the first step: God pours forth His Spirit into an open and receiving heart.  He begins to give us revelation from Scripture.

Normally, our 'natural man' resists the things of God.  Because we have been hurt as children or as adults, we have closed off our inner man -- our spirits -- and built up a wall of defense to protect ourselves against being hurt again.  The problem is that our own spirits are enclosed within that wall.  In order for God to reach us, Spirit-to-spirit, that wall must crack and crumble; we must be defenseless.  If we look at the patterns of Scripture, it is usually when we are weak, not strong, that we are touched by God.

In Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life, he tells the story of a group of monks who have taken a holiday and gone swimming together.  One of the young monks has ventured beyond the safety of the shore and had gotten into deep water, although he cannot swim.  When he realizes that he is in water over his head, he begins to call for help.  All of the monks look to an older man, a strong swimmer, who is watching the one who is drowning.  But the older man does not move.  He watches the young man flailing around, desperately attempting to save himself.  "Why won't you save him?" asks another monk.  "I have to wait until he stops trying to save himself," says the older man, "or he will pull both of us down in his desperation."  Once the young man gives up the struggle to save himself, the older monk quickly went to his rescue and pulled him ashore.

Watchman Nee said that it is the same with us.  As long as there is strength in us to 'save ourselves,' God will allow us to flail around with our own efforts.  When we at last know that we cannot save ourselves and give up, the Power and Presence of God can move into our lives.  The Apostle Paul, a strong man in his faith, well-educated, smart, familiar with the Scriptures, was useless to God until he was struck down and blinded on the road to Damascus.  Then, useless to himself, he was useful to God.  It is the same with us.  When we finally realize that all of our "power, education, strength" cannot save us, we are ready for the Power and Presence of God in our lives.

As I worked on the diagram of "The Normal Christian Life" yesterday, a friend called me.  I have been talking to her for about a year now, after not having had contact with her for about 30 years.  She and I had been in the same prayer group together many years ago, but I had gone on to work at the college and then moved out of state and had lost contact with her.  Last year, God suddenly put her in my mind and heart, and I called her out of the blue.  She was going through a terrible time in her emotionally abusive marriage of 45 years, and there was no one to support her.  She and I have been talking and praying together this past year.

Yesterday, she went to the adoration chapel at St. Clement of Rome, and there, she "yelled" at God, accusing Him of abandoning her, etc.  Suddenly, she was enveloped in total peace; the constant burden of anger and grief was lifted from her, and she began to pray for her husband and for other people, knowing for the first time in her life that she no longer had to fight for herself, that God would fight for her, that He would do it all.  That night, for the first time in over a year, she had a real conversation with her husband instead of screaming and yelling.

Nothing except the Power and Presence of God can bring about this kind of transformation.  I have seen it in my own life and in the lives of so many others.  It is the "Normal Christian Life:" I was hard-pressed and was falling, but the Lord reached down from on high and took hold of me.  He drew me clear and did not let my enemies rejoice over me (Ps. 18).

The first step in the Normal Christian Life is the realization that all of our own efforts are in vain: we have no power to help ourselves.  Then and only then are we ready for the saving action of God in our lives.  And he does not disappoint us -- his Power and Presence reveal to us what He has told us: I am with you, even to the consummation of the world.

The Flow of Energy in the Spirit

If a child hears fine music from the day of his birth and learns to play it himself, he develops sensitivity, discipline, and endurance.  He gets a beautiful heart.  -- Shin'ichi Suzuki

What Suzuki discerned about music is so true about life in general, and especially true of the spiritual life.  The one part of our souls that tends to be blocked in its "flow," or expression, is the spirit that God has placed in us.  It is the most fragile, the most delicate, the most easily damaged, part of us -- and also the most beautiful. 

Yesterday, I wrote that God wants to reveal Himself to each one of us; He wants direct, Spirit-to-spirit communication with us.  He wants the kind of energy-exchange that most of us will truly experience only when we fall deeply and sincerely in love for the first time.  He wants openness, not fear.  He wants us to be able to open our hearts fully to Him, as lovers exchange freely and fully all that is in them without fear --- and He wants us to be able to hear fully and freely what He has to say to us.

When Jesus was baptized as an adult, the Spirit descended on Him in the form of a dove, and he and others around him heard the Father speak:  This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.  Before that time, Jesus listened, studied, prayed, and asked questions in the Temple, was instructed by his parents, who had great stories to tell of his birth, the flight into Egypt, and the revelation of Simeon and Anna in the Temple.  He knew....He knew... that He was the annointed one, but now He hears directly from God.  Now He is led by the Spirit into the desert -- alone-- to hear the Voice of God speaking words not only for Himself, but for others.  And there, maybe for the first time also, he also encounters the voice of Satan, the tempter.

When we fully open our own spirits to hear the Voice of God, it is possible that we also will hear the voice of the Tempter.  How do we know the difference, for Satan can and does appear as 'An Angel of Light," deceiving even the elect, if possible?

In the authentic, genuine, Christian life, there is a discernible flow of energy that is from God: by their fruits you will know them.  This is a long explanation, involving several steps that I will begin tomorrow with a diagram of the energy flow of what Watchman Nee called The Normal Christian Life and Sit, Walk, and Stand.  These two books are amazingly clear and simple explanations of the Christian life, and even though I read both of them about 35 years ago and not since, I can still recall his explanations.  I recommend them to everyone who is interested in how the Spirit works.

 

A Little Scary; A Lot Exciting

I want you to know, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up.  I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ (Gal.1:11).

 

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which you have been called, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe (Eph. 1:17-18).

 

Almost everyone today has a cell phone with an incredible 'receiving cell' embedded in it.  It blows my mind to consider how words, paragraphs, even entire books and movies, can be delivered across the air to a tiny receiver, and then somehow 'unpacked' to deliver the message in a way we can comprehend it.

 

Deep within each one of us, there is also a tiny receiving station, one that can receive messages from the Spirit of God -- Spirit-to-spirit.  If our hearts are pure and ready to hear what God wants to say to us, His Spirit writes a message on our hearts.  Sometimes, the mind is a little slower to grasp and understand what the heart knows; the message has to be 'unpacked' in a way we can comprehend it.  But those who want to hear God speaking will hear Him.

 

Books like God Calling, God Calling 2, and Jesus Calling contain powerful messages of love; and encouragement that are "received by revelation," and not "made up by man."  Perhaps not everyone will believe or accept that God speaks directly to our hearts; maybe they will choose to believe instead that these books are written by clever men.  Some people even believe the Gospels were written by clever men -- but how uneducated fishermen could have been this clever is beyond me!  And how the Gospels could contain so much agreement so long after the events is an even greater mystery.

 

There is such a remarkable congruence and similarity among those who know Jesus Christ -- their stories differ in detail, but not in overall pattern.  Almost any testimony we hear, or any book we read has the same theme, the same revelation, as the Gospel:  I was hard -pressed and was falling, but the Lord reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me (Ps. 18: 16-17).

 

When I teach, or even when I speak, I just want so much to open up the hearts and minds of my class or of my friends and pour into them all the love, all the wisdom and knowledge, all the treasures that the Lord has given to me over the years.  I ache to impart to others what words cannot tell.  But I know who is the Lord, the Spirit of Truth -- and it is not me.  Jesus promised to send the Spirit of Truth to those who love Him.  It is the Spirit in us who reveals to us the Truth that sets us free from condemnation, from fear, from clinging to the world around us.  And only Jesus can reveal what it is we need to hear and to know at this moment; only He knows what we are ready to receive.

 

It is a lot scary to sit down to receive a message from God, a message for today, like manna in the wilderness.   But if we have the faith to believe that He wants to reveal Himself and His Truth to us, if we are willing to pick up a notebook to record what we hear from Him, we find find the most exciting adventure of our lives.

Descent Into Hell

Last night, I watched Pit Bulls and Parolees, a program on Animal Planet that I have not seen before.  I wound up watching it because it was set in New Orleans, and I recognized scenes from my home town.  The "characters" were all "rough," covered with tatoos, earrings, nose rings, and lip studs -- not the kind of people I usually associate with.  And yet....they were full of mercy and compassion for lost and stray pit bulls -- those who were just waiting to be caught by evil men who wanted to use them as 'bait' for training fighting pit bulls.

The key players in this drama are prison parolees and the founders of Villalobos (literally, "the home of wolves.)  People who come out of prison have no jobs, no place to live, and no community to welcome them.  But Villalobos takes them on as workers in a dangerous occupation -- rescuing abandoned pit bulls.  In this job that no one else wants, the parolees learn a useful occupation and are motivated not by greed, or power over others, or advancing their own cause -- but by compassion for helpless creatures who cannot help themselves.

In last night's episode, Villalobos had received a phone call that there was a mama dog with five pups living under an abandoned house in the St. Roch neighborhood.  As the dogs emerged from under the house, there were obviously teens across the street waiting to capture them and sell them to the pit bull fighters.  The team went into action to rescue the dogs, an effort that took about 10 people and several days.

First, they had to get a fence company to donate and install a temporary fence around the entire house.  Once that was in place, the team began to crawl under the house in 100 degree heat to try to flush out the dogs from their place of security.  Unfortunately, parts of the floor had caved in, and the dogs were able to crawl up into the house as well as underneath it.  That meant that some of the team members had to enter a boarded - up, dark, Katrina flooded, smelly house -- still in 100 degree heat -- to find the dogs.  All the while, mama dog was fiercely protecting her pups and trying to bite the rescuers.  This program was more suspenseful than any NCIS I had seen -- and it was real.

Waking up this morning, I suddenly realized that this is exactly what Jesus has done for us: He descended into the 'hell' of our existence to keep us from being destroyed by those who seek our souls as 'bait.'  And he pursues us in all of our hiding places until he brings us safely into a new home.  To do that, He enlists a team of former prisoners, who themselves are 'rescued' by being part of His team and learning His compassion for the lost. 

Francis Thompson wrote The Hound of Heaven many years ago, in which he described the Great Pursuer:

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;

I fled Him, down the arches of the years;

I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways

of my own mind; and in the midst of tears

I hid from Him, and under running laughter.

 

Thompson's poem is long and not easy-- it takes prayerful meditation and slow digestion to get it, but it is worth the reading.  For "The Hound of heaven" will not cease His pursuit until we surrender.  He dare not, for the day He stops pursuing us, our enemies will have won.

The Narrow Gate

Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it (Matt.7:13)

 

I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.  The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep.....I am the gate for the sheep.  All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.  I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.  He will come in and go out, and find pasture...I have come that they may have life and have it to the full (Jn.10:1-10).

 

"I am the gate...."  "I have come that they may have life..."

 

This morning, for some reason, I kept thinking about The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the children's story written by C.S.Lewis. For the sake of argument, let us assume that the whole story is "real," -- what my 10th grade English teacher taught us as "the suspension of disbelief," the sine qua non demanded of one who reads a novel, for example.  Suppose they really did fall through the back of the cupboard and discover the world of Narnia, the world that no one else could see unless they too fell through the back of the cupboard.  The "real" world, the world of skeptics and scoffers, would look and say, "It's only a cupboard, and a rather shabby one at that," and "It's only children's fantasy, this world of which they speak."  No rational adult would willingly enter the world the children had discovered, though they might listen with polite amusement at the tales told by children.

 

Those of us who have stepped through the 'narrow gate' into another world tell tales of fantasy to those who cannot themselves step through the door to eternal life -- from bios to zoe.  "Zoe" is the Greek term, the one that Jesus used to indicate not biological, but eternal life ---energy, enthusiasm, overcoming the 'world' life.  Those who have tasted zoe have both lost their dependence on bios and at the same time embraced the physical world in a way they had never done before.  Everything in bios reveals the Creator, the Lover of the Universe, the Light of the world.  Because of the enthusiasm (literally, "God within") for life given to them by the Creator of life, everything tastes better, is more beautiful, more satisfying, richer than it was before they experienced the "eternal life" that Jesus came to give.  The life that Jesus gives raises every other experience to the fullness of God Himself.

 

My brother, who lived for many years in Utah, used to tell me that those who live in the desert see further, hear further, live more deeply than those who live in the city.  Having experienced both worlds, he knew that of which he spoke.  In fact, when he would return to New Orleans to visit me, he had a hard time driving because he no longer saw stoplights -- his "desert vision" took time to re-adjust to the 'real' world.

 

We can recognize the true shepherds of the sheep by their relationship to the Good Shepherd.  If they come to us from the world of "Narnia," the world given to them by Jesus Christ, we will listen to them.  If they come to us from this world, we will not recognize them, not listen to their voice.  If they themselves have entered through the 'narrow gate,' they are genuine.  But many are wolves in sheep's clothing; they come to us in their own name, in their own strength, and they want us to 'enter' through the door they describe to us.

 

Thanks be to God, the true sheep of Jesus Christ know the difference between the real shepherds and the 'thieves and robbers."  When I was in Medjugore in the 80's, I decided to take a short cut across the fields from the back of the church to the residence where we were staying -- about a half-mile.  During my walk, I came across a sheep fold with about a hundred sheep in it.  When they saw me coming from a distance, they all crowded forward near the gate and watched me intently to see if I was coming to let them out, I guess.  Because they stared at me so intensely, I felt it only "polite" to speak to them.  What a mistake!

 

As soon as they heard the sound of my voice, they all with one accord turned their backs on me.  I was astonished!  My first thought was, "Hey, I'm a good person!"  But I was not their shepherd, and they knew the difference the moment they heard my voice.  I took a picture of all those sheep with their backs turned to me, as a reminder off Jesus' words about the Good Shepherd -- but unfortunately, lost that picture in Katrina.

 

When we hear the Shepherd's Voice, we will know it.  

Why We Need Mystics

To what can I compare this generation?  They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others: "We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn."  For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, "He has a demon." The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, "Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.  But wisdom is proved right by her actions (Matt.11:16-19).

 

Yesterday I wrote about dwelling in the "Secret Place" of the Most High, and a friend asked, "Who is this 'world' of which you write?  What is fascinating to me is that I don't read comments on the previous day's blog until I am ready to write today's -- after a long period of morning prayer.  And so, this morning I came to my computer with the words stored up in my heart -- only to find two things: (1) the quotation above, posted today on FB by one of my friends, and (2) the question on yesterday's blog -- Who is this 'world' of which you write?  I never know what the Holy Spirit is going to do, and He never fails to astonish me.

 

The New Testament uses the term "world" in a" number of different ways.  A fascinating study would be to just go through all the Gospels noting the uses of the term "world" -- clearly, it has different meanings in different contexts.  In John 14, at the Last Supper, Jesus promises that He will not leave His friends as orphans, but that He would send them the Spirit of truth:  the world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you....before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me (vv.15,19).

 

Who is this "world" of which Jesus spoke -- the one that does not see the Spirit at work, the one that cannot "receive" Him?  It is the 'generation' that sees only the surface of things, the people who condemned John the Baptist for being a 'demon' and Jesus for being a 'glutton.'  In other words, those who cannot see into the heart.  Jesus warned His disciples not to throw their pearls to 'swine,' who would 'trample them underfoot and then turn and tear you to pieces' (Matt. 7:6).

 

Our hearts and minds are the battleground between the Spirit and the 'world.'  The 'world,' the one that fails to recognize the Spirit, calls to us to join them on the path to destruction: we played the flute for you and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.  Those who are listening to the Spirit of God hear a different song, and because they do, they will not join in the 'song of the world.'  And the world cannot understand why. 

 

Our 'inner man' is pure; the 'world and the devil' seek access to that kingdom to destroy it.  The reason I included the circle image above is that it represents the layers of our soul, from the external -- the physical -- the only one the 'world' can see-- to the most secret, the inner man, our hearts and souls.  The battleground is the heart and mind of man, the one that is wounded and scarred and therefore closed to both God and man in self-defense.  When we are hurt as children, as teens, or even as adults, we add a layer of protective wall against further injury -- "I won't be hurt again!"  Unfortunately, that closes us off to the Spirit as well as to the world outside. That is exactly why Jesus told Nicodemus that unless we are 'born again of water and Spirit,' we cannot even see the kingdom of God. The 'world' could not 'see' Jesus; they crucified him as a charleton and a blasphemer because He 'made himself equal to God.'

 

To see Truth, we need mystics -- those who can see beyond the physical -- those who can penetrate the spiritual world inside us and the Spirit of God that the "world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him."  When my students are reading about their 'saints,' those they are choosing as their 'patrons,' I try to get them to go beyond the facts of that person's life -- when he lived, what he did, when he died.  These 'facts' are all that the 'world' can know, and it is all they will ever know.  But beyond those 'facts,' what else can we know about that saint?  Ah, only mystics, poets, and the Spirit of God can tell us that -- those who are willing to receive the Spirit that the "world" does not know.

 

 



The Secret Place

When my youngest daughter was in 3rd grade, she wrote a beautiful little essay called "My Secret Place."  I happened to find it in her schoolbag when the teacher returned the paper to her, with one comment scrawled across the top of the page: Messy!  I wanted to strangle that teacher, and it took me a long time to forgive her.  Perhaps I still haven't done so.

The one-page essay described a place of beauty and of rest, a place that no one else knew about, a place where my daughter would go when she was hurt, a place where peace was restored to her.  To this day, I do not know where that place was; surprisingly, I never asked her because I was more focused on the insensitivity of a teacher who cared nothing for the fact that my daughter had shared her inner secrets so beautifully -- all the teacher could see was "messy" handwriting.  I wonder if she even read the words on the page.

That was 30 years ago; today, I have my own "Secret Place," a place that the world scoffs at and fails to understand, a place that the world writes off  not as "messy," but as "ridiculous."  It was a place that Jesus knew and Himself retreated to when He needed a place of refuge from those who did not understand, or when He needed strength and courage and peace -- it was the "Shadow of the Most High."

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of El Shaddai.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust (Psalm 91).

 

Satan quoted parts of this psalm to Jesus when tempting Him in the wilderness: " For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone" (v.11-12).  It is so tempting to take a verse of Scripture out of context and to make that your focus -- in fact, I would even say that it is a temptation straight from hell.  Then, if the principle does not "work" for you, the result is that you "write off" Scripture because it "does not work." 

 

It is a fine line between "dwelling in the secret place of the Most High," trusting in God, and trusting in our own ability to weild Scripture to our own ends and purposes.  The snake handlers of Applachia are not "dwelling under the shadow of His wings" and "resting in God;" they are in fact using Scripture to "tempt the Lord," in the words of Jesus.

 

A great work requires a great and careful training -- How often, by much speaking and self-indulgent sharing with others, a jewel of rare beauty may be robbed of its priceless worth to your soul -- a bud of joy and sweet perfume too rashly forced to premature bloom will lose its purity and fragrance (God Calling + God Calling 2: Jan. 22).

 

The question is, "Where is our focus?"  God wants to share all the secrets of our souls; He wants us to "dwell in the secret place of the Most High."  Then, at the appropriate time, He will work His work through us.  If our focus is on the work itself, we will become exhausted trying to "make it work."  In the case of Jesus, He would actually have become "dead" if He had followed the devil's spin on Scripture and cast Himself down from the pinnacle of the temple because "He has given His angels charge over thee, that thou not cast thy foot against a stone."

 

We cannot "read Scripture" with the eyes of the natural man, the man who dwells apart from the Most High.  We can only be directed by the Voice of God, not our own voice.  And Jesus promised that His sheep would know His Voice and would not follow another.  We come to know His Voice and His command by dwelling with Him, in the "Shadow of the Most High."  The world will call us "messy," and impractical, worthless -- and may even crucify us  -- but those who dwell in the Secret Place will know the truth, be healed, and will be set free from the pressures of the world.

 

Before the Israelites could enter the Promised Land, God had to lead them through the desert for 40 years, until they learned to depend on Him and not on themselves.  He fed them in the wilderness and gave them water from the rock, and Moses even warned them that after they had settled down in Canaan and built houses and multiplied their wealth, that they would say to themselves: "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me" (Deut. 8:17).

 

Like Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days, preparing Himself for his great work of establishing the kingdom of His Father on earth, we too must dwell in the secret place of the Most High, trusting God to feed us the manna we need, the Scripture we need, to do His work.





Fruit of the Spirit of God Within Us

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with one another, so that you do not do what you want....

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us be directed by the Spirit (Gal. 5:16-25) (selections).

 

Every day of my life, I am grateful to be living in a household where the "fruit of the Spirit" rules, and where I do not have to contend with anger, hostility, rage, factions, drunkenness, and the other "acts of the sinful nature," as Paul lists them in Galatians 5.  I remember many years ago going to the Cenacle for a few days of rest and reflection.  I did not understand why I was feeling so restless and upset, as there was really nothing "wrong" with my life -- except that I needed something I could not quite put my finger on.

 

In my search for "something unknown," I had explored Unitarianism, Transcendental Meditation, Yoga, and even a Hari Krishna lecture.  I didn't know what it was I wanted; I just knew that my outbursts of anger and impatience and sadness were not something I wanted to be living with all the days of my life. 

 

The nun who counseled me that evening said something so profound that it shook my soul:  "Gayle, you cannot give yourself joy."  Her words rang so true to me; I did not know that was what I was looking for -- but it was.  If I could have "given myself joy," I surely would have done it, since I had searched in so many different places for it.  But she named the unknown gift I wanted so desperately -- and at the same time, made me understand that it was a gift--not something I could manufacture for myself. 

 

As I prepared to leave the Cenacle that weekend, I heard a bird singing and singing outside my window.  I went to the window -- and there was the most beautiful cardinal perched on the narrow ledge looking in at me.  He was singing at the top of his lungs, so to speak -- and telling me a story.  Suddenly, I realized that I did not have to solve all the problems that were defeating me; nor did I have to be "perfect," a goal that constantly eluded me in a household of sick children, unwashed diapers, and uncooked meals.  All I had to do was to wake up each morning and "sing." 

 

That was the beginning of my rebirth.  As I looked to God and not to myself, my life slowly began to change.  I could do nothing to bring peace, joy, kindness, and self-control even to myself -- but I could allow God to place His own character in my heart, and I could sing songs of praise and thanksgiving as He accomplished in me all that I could not do for myself. 

 

John says, "For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ...from the fullness of His grace, we have all received one blessing after another...No one has ever seen God, but God, the only Son, who is at the Father's side, has made him known."

 

We can "do" great things:  we can speak with the tongues of angels; we can have the gift of prophecy; we can have the faith to move mountains and can fathom all mysteries -- but if we have not love (kindness, peace, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) -- if we have not the character of God Himself within us, all the "gifts" of the Spirit are to no avail

 

God's greatest desire is for us to be like He is, so that He can have communion with us: Spirit-to-spirit.  He does not need us to do great things for Him; He can do whatever He chooses to do with whatever instruments He chooses to do them.  But His peace, His own joy, His own love, His own kindness, His own faithfulness and truth and self-control---these are the gifts He wants to bestow on all who will receive them.  Then, and only then, when we are like He is, can He trust us to build His kingdom and not our own.

 

 

 

 

 



New "Rules"

Do not be afraid, Abraham.

I am your shild,

your very great reward (Gen. 15:1)

 

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of your fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? (Luke 11: 9-13).

 

The poorest of the poor will find pasture,

and the needy will lie down in safety (Is.14:30).

 

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast,

because he trusts in you (Is. 26:3).

 

Very well, then, with foreign lips and strange tongues

God willl speak to this people,

to whom he said,

"This is the resting place, let the weary rest;" and

"This is the place of repose" --

but they would not listen.

So then, the word of the Lord to them will become:

"Do and do, do and do,

rule on rule, rule on rule;

a little here, a little there--

so that they will go and fall backward,

be injured and snared and captured (Is. 28:11-13).

 

Most of us grew up with "rules" to follow in religion, or we were threatened with consequences, even to the fires of hell.  Fortunately, somehow, I seemed to have escaped the threat of hell, but I know some of my friends did not.  Someone (a Hari Krishna guru) once told me that I was the only person he had ever met who was more afraid of evil than of the devil.  His statement kind of took me back, since I had never considered it that way -- but I think he was absolutely right.  I don't ever recall being afraid of the devil or of hell -- but I was very afraid of evil.  I did not want to be sucked into the grasp of evil, but I didn't worry about it too much, because I always felt safe in the arms of God.

 

Even in the Old Testament, God's promise to Abraham was always safety:  Do not be afraid, Abraham; I am your Shield and your very great Reward!  The "Reward" comes not from following the rules -- God always knew we could not -- but from "seeking, knocking, asking."  If we refuse to do that, well, then, we will have to "do and do, rule on rule..."  

 

As children, the rules keep us safe until we know enough to seek, knock and ask.  Those who do not know the God of Abraham, the "Shield and the Reward" will have to keep on doing and doing what others tell them are the "rules" until they fall to their knees in desperation to seek, knock, and ask:  Show me Your Face!  Even the "poorest of the poor" will find pasture, and the "needy will lie down in safety," because for them, the rules never did work.

 

Here are the "New Rules," those which man's understanding could never devise:

 

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strenth.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint (Is.40:31).

 

This is the one I esteem:

he who is humble and contrite in spirit,

and trembles at my word.

But whoever sacrifices a bull

is like one who kills a man,

and whoever offers a lamb,

like one who breaks a dog's neck:

whoever makes a grain offering

is like one who who presents pig's blood,

and whoever burns memorial incense

like one who worships an idol (Is. 66:2-3).

 

If we want to know what God demands of us, let us heed the words of Micah the prophet:

 

With what shall I come before the Lord

and bow down before the exalted God?

Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,

with calves a year old?

Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,

with ten thousand rivers of oil?

Shall I offer my firstborn for the sin of my soul?

He has shown you, O man, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God (6:6-8).



 

No one could ever say it better!

A Marriage Made in Heaven

I give you me; You give me You.

 

"For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church (Eph. 5:31-32).

 

Marriage is the most profound reality and mystery we have of God's union with each one of us.  We give our spouse "us," whoever we are as the world sees us.  The world may see us as undesirable according to its own standards for whatever reason, but to our spouse, we are a gift from God:  whoever finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).

 

There is so much more to the mystery of the Incarnation than just a good man showing us the way to live -- God Himself took on human flesh so that He could become "one flesh" with us.  He was not satisfied to "tell us how to live;" He wanted to live and love in us and through us and with us.  He wanted to be one spirit with us all the days of our lives.  He wanted to "take up all the causes of my life" (Lamentations 3:58), and make them His own causes. 

 

My husband loves what I love; he puts aside his own interests for my interests; he supports my causes in life and goes where I go.  He does what I do. In fact, I think he is much better at marriage than I am. In the Book of Ruth, Ruth gives utterance to what could well be a marriage vow, even though she speaks it to her mother-in-law:

 

Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people, and your God my God.  Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.

 



I think this is a good description of a marriage, and I think we would do well to consider before we marry, "Who / What is the God of my partner?" because in all likelihood, his/her God will be our God also.  If we do not consider the spirit of our partner before we marry, we are liable to be linked to a spirit that is alien to our own, one that we cannot abide for very long:  Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised -- and the same could be said of the man who fears the Lord.

 

When we think about Jesus' relationship with us, it has always been (in Scripture), a marriage -- this is why His first miracle took place at the wedding of Cana, and why He turned water into wine -- a very great deal of wine, in fact.  He was espousing to Himself each one of us -- where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people, and your God, my God.  Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.  In the book of Isaiah, God says, As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you (Is.62:5).

 

He came to take up our lives, our deaths, our sorrows and our griefs.  He entered the grave that buries our souls -- and brought us back to the life He lives with the Father in heaven.  "You shall NOT die, but LIVE, and proclaim the works of the Lord," He says to us, no matter how far gone we are into death and hell.  After the Resurrection, He tells Mary Magdalene, "Go tell my brothers, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God"......"and where I am, you also shall be" (from the Last Supper discourse).  In the custom of the time, the man always brought his bride home to dwell in his father's house -- the house that would be his when his father died.  It is still this way in many far and near Eastern countries.

 

A man who finds a wife has a gift from the Lord -- Jesus embraces us as a bridegroom his bride.  He gives us all of Himself in exchange for whatever of ourselves we can give Him.  What a Marriage, if we can but accept it!  The robber, the thief, the great deceiver would do anything to separate us from the Bridegroom and espouse us to himself, and then to accuse us for letting it happen.  But God is greater than any who would accuse us, and He says we are His.  In fact, He faced the powers of hell to deliver us from evil and to take us back from the Destroyer:

 

You will be called by a new name

that the mouth of the Lord will bestow...

No longer will they call you Deserted,

or name your land Desolate...

for the Lord will take delight in you,

and your land will be married (Is. 62).



The Power and Presence of God

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,

and He will establish your thoughts...

When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord,

He makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Prov. 16: 3&7).

 

The sons of God are those who are willing to be led by the Power and Presence of God.

 

One of my Confirmation students, in reflecting on the recent retreat experience, commented that she and one of the boys in the class had been at each other's throats ever since 4th grade.  She could not stand him, and vice-versa.  As "luck" (or rather Divine Providence) would have it, they wound up in the same small discussion group during the retreat -- an unusual circumstance, as the retreat leaders were careful to separate those who knew one another.  They had assigned kids from different parishes to the same discussion group.

 

During the weekend discussions, her eyes were opened to his "inner man," the person she had never seen or known before -- the person hiding inside the one she despised.  "I never knew he was like that," she commented.  During one of the sessions, the students were directed to write a letter of forgiveness to someone who had hurt them.  It was their choice as to whether actually give the letter to the other person or not, but just writing it was a significant exercise in forgiveness.  She wrote her letter to the boy she had been hating since 4th grade -- and actually gave it to him. 

 

Again, as "luck"---or Divine Providence -- would have it, he was not in class the night she told the story; he had an awards banquet at his school that night.  So she was free to tell the story without embarrassing him.  It amazes me to watch God work in my own life and the lives of other people!

 

I can tell my students how God has worked in my own life, and I can quote the Scripture to them--

He makes even his enemies live at peace with him---but when they experience God working in their own lives, it's much more powerful.

 

Every person deserves to experience the Power and Presence of God working in their lives -- but not every person will believe or accept that God cares enough to work out His good will in each life.  The Bible is not a set of directives on how to live; it is a set of stories about The God Who Acts to Save Us.  My own life is not a set of philosophical principles according to which I live--I have no power or strength to live up to much of anything.  But my life is a story -- just one -- of God's Power and Presence, of His Love and Forgiveness, of His willingness to bend low over us, of His song of joy whispered to those who are faltering.

And the answer is....

Death has climbed in through our windows

and has entered our fortresses;

it has cut off the children from the streets

and the young men from the public squares (Jer.9:21)

 

Walter Williams is a professor of Economics in Fairfax, Virginia.  He is also a syndicated columnist whose columns always make profound sense to me.  Today, his column is called "Are guns the problem?"

 

Before laying out Williams' thesis, allow me to reflect on the question of protecting our schools and our children.  Frankly, I get sick thinking about metal detectors and armed guards at the door of every school in America -- not to mention the cost and the logistics of this kind of defense.  And frankly, again, I think that the insane and the evil will still find a way to wreck destruction on the innocent.  I think that arming everyone in sight  --or increasing the numbers of the police state -- is the last desperate measure of a chaotic and dissolving society.

 

Williams points out that the schools we once knew were safe, but not because of strict gun control laws.  In fact, until the 1960's, some NYC public high schools had shooting clubs where students competed in citywide contest for scholarships.  They carried their rifles to school on the subway and turned them over to their coach until it was time for target practice after school.  Then they carried the guns home again on the subway.

 

Can you imagine this scenario happening today?  A child who draws a picture of a gun or who moves his thumb as if cocking a gun is expelled without recourse today. We think that a zero-tolerance policy against water pistols will control society.  Umm--no!

 

 The difference, according to Williams, is that during the 50's and 60's, the liberals and progressives, the education establishment, the pseudo-intellectuals, and the courts all began to wage war on traditional values.  They rejected moral absolutes, and taught that morality is a matter of personal opinion and choice: The answer to sexual permissiveness is condoms, the pill, sex education, and ultimately, abortion.  The answer to violence in the schools is a beefed-up security system. 

 

Since we no longer have "a body of wisdom distilled through ages of experience, trial and error, and looking at what works" in Williams' words, we are now controlling behavior externally, rather than from within:  Many customs, traditions, and moral values have been discarded without an appreciation for the role they played in creating a civilized society, and now we're paying the price (Williams).

 

Jesus told the women of Jerusalem not to weep for him, but for themselves and for their children.  He was referring to Jeremiah 9:20, the passage that immediately precedes the one quoted above.  I cannot help but be struck by the similarities between Jeremiah's city -- the one over which he wept -- and our cities today:

 

What man is wise enough to understand this?  Who has been instructed by the Lord and can explain it?  Why has the land been ruined and laid waste like a desert that no one can cross?

The Lord said, "It is because they have forsaken my law, which I set before them; they have not obeyed me or followed my law.  Instead, they have followed the stubbornness of their hearts; they have followed the Baals, as their fathers taught them (Jer. 9:12-13).

 



We are reaping what we have sown, and we are in anguish.....



Freedom From Fear--Freedom From Anxiety

Martha, Martha, you are anxious about many things, but Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken from her.

 

Jesus did not tell Martha not to work, but only not to be anxious about the work.  In all of us, there is definitely a Martha, but it may take a lifetime for Mary to emerge in us.  In fact, the old saying, "Don't worry; be happy" usually annoys most of us.  We think that if we are not worried, we really don't understand what is going on.

 

After spending a good deal of my life worrying--almost to the point of paralysis---I am deeply grateful to have been set free from that way of life, thanks to the freedom of the "sons of God," in the words of the Gospel.  Yesterday, I wrote about the freedom from fear that is given to us in Jesus Christ.  Few people realize the power of the Gospel -- they think it is something we read, think about, and somehow approve or disapprove.  But the words on the page are only describing a spiritual reality -- a power -- a Presence -- that God offers to anyone who will accept it.  It is possible to read the Gospel without experiencing what it describes, but once we experience the Presence of Jesus in our lives, it is not possible to deny His power to change us.

 

The real presence of Jesus in our lives -- and His power to re-shape us -- is the point of the Gospel.  It is not an historical document; it is the Word of God to us:  Take and eat, and be transformed.

 

Anyone who has ever spent some time in a yoga studio knows the healing and calming environment it conveys.  For just one hour, "Don't worry; be happy" is truly a possibility.  We breathe in beauty and peace and breathe out gratitude and joy.  It is the same with prayer.  We enter into the Presence of God, and everything changes.  For that time, we are different; we are Mary rather than Martha. 

 

Here is what Jesus Calling says for today:

 

Come to Me, and rest in my loving Presence.  You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials.  As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you -- now and always.  Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur.  Do not multiply your suffering in this way!  Instead, come to Me, and relax in My Peace.  I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust.

Freedom From Fear

The eyes of this kitten tell of trauma and unspeakable fear.  She (He?) can hardly realize that she is now safe -- perhaps she will never again be mentally seccure as long as the memory of fire stays with her.  This is why Jesus said, "Woe to those who cause scandal/trauma to a child; it would be better for that person if a millstone were tied around his neck and he be cast into the sea." 

James Meredith's book, A Mission From God, tells of the trauma that Black people in Mississippi endured ever since the Emancipation Declaration.  Nominally, they were "free from slavery," but they were never free from fear.  They lived always under the domination, the physical and psychological authority of the white man; they lived in perpetual fear and anxiety.  They were not "free" to be the persons God created them to be; they were never free to be educated, to be leaders, to be "men."

When Meredith endured the constant threat of death, the insults and bricks, the flat tires and social isolation of entering the University of Mississippi, he carried in his arms every black man and woman in the State of Mississippi.  When he walked across the stage to take his diploma, every black man and woman in Mississippi knew that they could never again "...be held down by the directives of the most cherished and sanctified institution of white supremacy" (p.192).

The battle had not been entirely won, as James Meredith clearly states, but it was a beginning.  There were still voting rights and "the dark side of human nature" to be won:

But there are some things a man must do in his life, actions that answer the callings of conscience.  There are some feelings that cannot be explained with mere words.  Fear is one of them.  It was fear, and its consequences for this country, that brought me to Mississippi [after graduation].  It was the fear of millions of black Americans that prevented them from voting, that most basic expression of citizenhood (p. 201).

 

James Meredith, like the fireman pictured above, was willing to face the fires of hell and hatred, was willing to enter into his own death, in order to come out of it carrying in his arms those whose whole life was lived under the threat of death.  Clearly, he was on "a mission from God."

 

This is the meaning of Jesus' Resurrection from the dead.  From the beginning of time, every man has lived in slavery to fear -- and the fear of death has been the greatest.  As long as fear rules our lives, we are still slaves; we are not free to live the lives we were created to live -- lives of joy, lives of peace, lives of sharing and giving -- the life that God lives in the Trinity of Love.

 

It was not enough for Jesus to live a "good life;" He had to enter death once and for all to conquer its dominion over our souls.  He had to enter fear and anxiety; like James Meredith, He had to face the powers and dominions -- the spirits that ruled over mankind -- and He had to conquer them forever.  Like Meredith walking across that stage to receive from the State of Mississippi his diploma, the seal of approval and respect as a man, Jesus emerged from the grave of death carrying in His arms every single person who had been traumatized by evil, corruption, and fear.  No longer would we have to live under the threat of death, of evil, of destruction.  In His arms, we are set free once and for all.

 

In Luke, Chapter 9, just before His death, Jesus experiences the Transfiguration, where Moses and Elijah speak with Jesus about His Exodus (if you have an accurate translation), which "... He was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem."  The term is used deliberately, to echo the first Exodus from slavery in Egypt.  Like Moses, Jesus has led us slaves to a new freedom, freedom from fear, because He has destroyed "every sovereignty and every authority and power" that rules over us (I Cor. 15: 20-28).

 

Freedom from Fear, just as it was in Mississippi -- and is still going on today-- is a gradual process.  It does not happen all at once.  But, like the rescued kitten above, we are rescued in the arms of the only One Who can carry us to safety and keep us safe from harm.  Then, and only then, can we begin to live the lives we were meant to live.

 







Mary and Martha

Let Me bless you with My grace and Peace.  Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you.  Do not be ashamed of your emptiness.  Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace -- Jesus Calling, Jan. 14

 

For the past three days, the "Mary" in me has had to be "Martha," without prayer/quiet time, without reflection, without stillness.  From Friday night to Sunday morning, we had 56 teenagers on retreat in a remote area of Mississippi -- and it was a great experience for the teens, it seemed, though exhausting for the team leaders. 

 

Today, Monday, I understand even more why Jesus called the disciples to "come apart and rest" after times of intense ministry.  Today, I am empty; last night, I noticed fear and anxiety beginning to creep into my spirit -- because I had not been taking time to pray for several days.  It is easy to say, "Service is prayer," and I do believe that -- but without "face to face" time with Jesus Himself, our service tends to be ours alone:  our energy, our enthusiasm, our thoughts -- all of which are exhausting.

 

I see why Mary said, "Do whatever He tells you" to the servants at Cana.  If we are not listening to what He is telling us to do, we are running on our own steam, and we very soon run out of steam.  Psalm 1 tells us: Blessed is the man [whose] delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law, he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in due season and whose leaf does not wither.  Whatever he does prospers.

 

And Psalm 127 puts it this way:

 

If the Lord does not build the house,

in vain do its builders labor;

If the Lord does not guard the city,

in vain does the guard keep watch.

 

In vain is your earlier rising,

your going later to rest,

you who toil for the bread you eat,

while he pours gifts on his beloved while they slumber.

 

We can exhaust ourselves "doing good" for others, but unless it is the Lord working in us to bless them through us, we accomplish little or nothing.  I do know that God Himself was at the retreat and working through all of us to bless these children, and I do know that it was time for all of us to be "Marthas," feeding the kids, washing the dishes, cleaning the floors, and keeping watch over the schedule and activities -- much like mothers of young children.  This is what we were there for; this was our mission for the weekend. 

 

But I also know that after such a "Martha" schedule, "Mary" must for awhile sit at the feet of Jesus and just listen to renew her spirit.  So I want to spend the day filling up my emptiness, and once again knowing the peace that only Jesus can give me.   

Thankfulness is Faith

I love this entry today from Jesus Calling:

Trust Me by relinquishing control into My hands.  Let go, and recognize that I am God. This is my world; I made it and I control it.  Yours is a responsive part in the litany of love.  I search among my children for receptivity to Me.  Guard well this gift that I have planted in your heart.  Nurture it with the Light of My Presence.

 

When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me.  Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart.  Then thank Me for the answers that I have sent into motion long before you can discern results.  When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way.  If you keep on stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension.  When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mind-set becomes much more positive.  Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises.

****************************************************************

 

No matter how feebly we begin to thank God, no matter whether we feel like hypocrites for thanking Him when we feel hopeless and helpless, it is the beginning of faith, of confidence that He has heard us and even before we began to pray, has set in motion the answer.

 

I remember once heading into my office from the parking lot.  When I left my car, I was bowed down in desperation over a situation that I did not know how to handle.  "O God," I cried, "What can I do?"

Immediately, I heard an answer:  You can thank Me!  "Okay," I said, with absolutely no confidence or enthusiasm, "I praise you for...."

 

No, came the reply, Thank Me!

 

At that moment, it was as if a door in my brain opened, and I suddenly understood the difference:

We praise people for qualities they possess, but we thank them for specific acts they have done on our behalf.  It is one thing to say to someone, "You are so smart!"  That's praise.  But it is another thing to say, "Thanks for helping me with this math homework!"  That's different.

 

So, in less than one minute, I tentatively began to thank God for very specific things He had done for me and given to me.  By the time I reached my office, I was almost singing.  My problem was still there, but I felt so much different about it. 

 

Thanksgiving is faith -- faith in what has been already given, and faith in what is yet to come!

Mission From God -- Part 2

You and I have an absolute responsibility to transform America...through the power of our love.

--James Meredith: Mission From God, p.244

 



With Community College teachers, it's personal -- in a way few other college teachers can appreciate.  A pioneer in teaching Development Reading and English, whose name now escapes me, once wrote: The teacher of Developmental English will know heights of elation and depths of despair that no other teacher will ever know. 

 

Most college teachers will give a mid-term and a final; either the student gets it, or he doesn't.  During my years as a teaching assistant doing graduate work at UNO, I found the lack of compassion for students appalling: "if you can't do the work, you don't belong here" was the prevailing attitude.  In Composition class, even for foreign students, the rule was "on the third mistake, we stop reading."  Yes, it saved the teachers a lot of tedium, but to consign a student to another costly semester of struggle on the third mistake was unconscionable to me, especially when the paper had to be written under the pressure of a final exam.  It took me two semesters to finally say to my supervisor, "I will no longer do this to students!"

 

Fortunately, I knew my mission was the Community College--that's why I returned to graduate school, to prepare myself to teach students who did not know how to learn -- and, as I quickly realized, I did not know how to teach them.  In order to pass even the lowest level of Developmental English, one needs to be able at the least to punctuate a sentence, a skill that my students somehow had never acquired during all their years of education in New Orleans. 

 

Preparing them for the competency exam became an everyday, personal engagement, one that had to be entered into with passion and with love.  Discouragement on my part and theirs was never an option.  "Stay with me," I promised them; "We'll get through this together."  "I can get you there, but you'll have to stay with me til the end; you'll have to keep doing the work until it sticks -- day in and day out.  Don't worry about grades; worry about acquiring the skills, and the grades will take care of themselves.  You must read every day to train your brain, and you must write every day to hone your skill.  Don't give up...don't give up....don't give up."

 

Each student needs individual support, as their areas of difficulty differ.  Philip was a young police officer whose smile would light up a room.  He had life experience; he had something to say, and he had insights to teach -- all great strenths for a writer -- but unless he could learn to put periods at the end of his sentences, I knew that he would not be able to exit Developmental English.  I taught him a method that most students do not have the patience to use -- to write his paper fast (which, fortunately, he could do), and then to distance himself from the ideas in order to read it out loud and listen to it, one sentence at a time.  I taught him to look for the first period on the page before he read it aloud, and to darken the period so that he would not read past it until his ears -- not his eyes -- told him it sounded like a whole sentence. 

 

Philip deserved not only to pass Developmental English, but to earn a college degree.  He had everything else going for him except writing skills -- but I was afraid that would be his Waterloo.  The day his exam was graded (by other teachers in the department), I held my breath.  To my utter surprise and elation, he passed!  I went to find his paper -- and there, every single period had been darkened.  Philip went on to pass D.E. level 2 and then English 101 and 102, and eventually, to earn an Associate Degree.  The day he and other of my beginning students walked across that stage to grasp their diplomas, I cried --- each and every time. 

 

With Community College teachers, it's always personal -- personal victory, personal failure.  With us, it's not a career; it's a mission from God, and it's done with love -- not soft love, but tough love, love that demands responsibility from the student, but love that gives support for the task at hand.

 

James Meredith says in his book that he now knows his "mission from God" was not finished the day he enrolled and studied at the University of Mississippi.  As an old man, now in his eighties, he knows that civil rights -- the right to enter any college in the United States -- was only the beginning for the Black man and woman.  His goal for 40 years had been to break the legal and official system of white supremacy in Mississippi so that black Americans could become anything they were capable of in this country.  But there is still what he calls "a final chapter of my mission from God."  He says that the Civil Rights Movement, while achieving most of its goals of removing barriers, "failed utterly in uplifting America's poor:

 

At the root of our problems as a nation is the fact that our public education system is an unmitigated disaster for many of our poor white, Latino, Native American, and black youths.  By the time they reach twelfth grade, black students are four years behind their white peers in English, math, and science, and score two hundred points lower average SAT scores than white students....almost 80% of white students in America complete high school, compared to about 56% of black students.  If black students get to college, they are half as likely to graduate as whites.  Millions of young black Americans cannot be competitive in the new global information economy because of their inability to read, write, and spell proper English (p. 247-248).

 

The final chapter in Meredith's Mission is to challenge every American to embrace the challenge of doing something to support our children in public schools.  Equal access is important, but equal success still remains out of reach for many black students.  For me, and for my colleagues, that is the mission of a community college: equal support and success for every student who wants it.

The day I stand before God to give an account of my life, this will be my only defense and explanation:  Sir, I taught at a Community College, and I did it with love!



Mission From God

I am not a civil rights activist,

I am not a protester,

and I am not a pacifist.

I am not a Republican and I am not a Democrat....

I am an American citizen, and a son of Mississippi.

I am a warrior.

And I am on a mission from God.

--James Meredith, Mission From God, p. xiii

 

I cried when I read these words from James Meredith's Preface to his new book, Mission From God.

 

Immediately, I knew that I loved this man -- not because he was a "civil rights" pioneer -- in his own words, he was not;   -- not because of his courage, or his willingness to face death -- which indeed, he was.  But I love him because he is a mystic.  He reminds of St. Paul, who wrote, "Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel!" 

 

Paul traveled the Roman world and many times faced death, beatings with rods, shipwreck, inprisonment, hunger, cold -- because he had to, because he had no choice in the matter; he had a mission for God which could not be denied.  General Russell Honore, the man who restored order and brought help to New Orleans after Katrina, once told a group of men: the two greatest days of a man's life are the day he is born and the day he discovers why God put him on this earth.

 

James Meredith knew from a young age that he had been put on this earth -- and in the state of Mississippi--because he had a mission from God:

 

My father, quite literally, put me on a mission from God.  "You must bring together the best of the white and the best of the black and save the world," he explained to me..."God wants to preserve the best from both worlds and build a new reality.  We are the passageway for the best of both worlds.  It's God's will and nothing can stand in the way of God's purpose.

"We are the future of the human race.  We are the channel through which the future of the black race is destined to pass.  We are the chosen family.  Mississippi is the incubator and we are the conduit. 

It is your duty and responsibility to lead our people to their proper place in the world" (p.33).

 

Reading Meredith's words makes me so grateful for the mission I was given many years ago-- to teach at Delgado Community College in New Orleans.  I knew my mission from the moment I walked onto the campus and looked into the faces of my first class of developmental English students, most of whom were black -- and the first of their families to attend college.  As products of New Orleans public schools, many if not most, were totatlly unprepared for college.  Their reading skills were poor; their writing indicated a lack of familiarity with the most common words of the language.  They had not been read to as children, because their often single mothers had to earn a living instead of staying home with their infants.  And the public schools were so riddled with gangs and violence that the teachers could barely control the classrooms.  I could tell that these students were just waiting to fail once again -- and I was determined with the grace of God not to allow that to happen.

 

I will go back to James Meredith's words at the end of his book, because his message is so important to the future of America:

 

For much of my life I thought God and I were partners, and I was the senior partner.  I freely admit that I have a colossal ego, and I have been so convinced that I am literally on a mission from God that I have often acted like a man with a messiah complex.  I now realize that I am not a messiah, far from it.

When I reached my peace with God a few years ago, I heard him tell me, "James Meredith, you talk too much."

To tell you the truth, over the last ten to fifteen years I've been trying to figure out why in the world God let me stay alive this long.  Now I know why.  I'm going to use all my energy to do what I think God sent me here to do..

He wants me to be a messenger.

The message he wants me to deliver is that you and I have a divine responsibility to transform American to make it a better place for our children and our grandchildren, through the power of our love.

It is not an option for us to love our fellow Americans in this way.  It is not a choice, it is not an option, and it is not a gift.

It is our absolute, ironclad moral responsibility.  It is our destiny.  It is the mission established for us by God, Abraham, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, and all the gods and prophets of the ages.

This is the reason you and I were born (p.244).

 

Tomorrow, I will continue this theme, linking the topic of education and Meredith's Divine Mission.

 



 



 

 

 



The deeper we go.....

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11).

 

The deeper we go into the life toward which Jesus offers us, the more "Wow!" we experience.  I think the pattern of the woman at the well illustrates it perfectly.  We imagine that we first have to "clean up out act," and then Jesus will bestow His gifts of love and mercy and kindness and justice on us as a reward --- but, indeed, the truth is the reverse.  In fact, Jesus takes us wherever we encounter Him, and draws us into a life we could never have imagined on our own.

 

He begins with a simple request to this woman, who came alone to the well because she was an outcast in her community.  Back in the 50's, Liz Taylor was a scandal to upright and respectable folks, with her five husbands, and always on the verge of moving on to the next one.  So, too, the Samaritan woman.  She could not come to the well early in the day, when the respectable woman gathered to exchange gossip and family news.  She needed to wait until the noon hour -- and, even then, as scholars tell us, she needed to go to the well not in the center of town, but the one located 1 and 1/2 miles away from the village.  That's a long way to haul two heavy buckets of water needed for cooking and cleaning.

 

But He spoke to her:  Give me a drink of water.  He, the Son of God, the Creator of the Universe, was hot and thirsty, and He had no bucket to lower into the well.  He needed her; He needed her bucket; He needed her willingness to be compassionate toward a stranger -- and she needed what He had to give in return.  For He was to give her "living water...a fountain springing up to eternal life (zoe).  She desperately needed divine energy, enthusiasm (Literally, "God within"), friendship, acceptance, community, respect from others -- all of which came to her from that one Encounter with God.

 

All of the Apostles -- Peter, James, John, Simon the Zealot, Matthew, the Tax Collector -- all of them without Jesus would have remained tax collectors, fishermen, zealots, etc. who lived and died obscure, unknown, unfulfilled with God's plans for them, plans to heal and not to harm, plans to draw them into the center of a community of those who centered on Jesus as their common bond, and who were to find joy in one another.

 

Last night, we began a new Scripture study at the church.  The last series, which went from Labor Day to Advent, drew together 180 people for six weeks --- not people who "had" to be there because it was a Sunday obligation, and who left the church still strangers to one another, but people who came to gather together around a deeper study of the Word of God, who came for a deeper understanding of the faith we all profess, who came hoping to enter more deeply into the gift of the Holy Spirit.  And, through teaching and asking questions, as Jesus did in the Temple when He was 12 years old, we grew together around the Word, no longer strangers, but friends. 

 

Again, last night, I could feel us being drawn together around the only thing we all have in common--revelation of the Word of God and of Jesus, the Incarnate Word.  The plans God has for all of us are greater than anything we can imagine on our own: plans to prosper, and not to harm us, plans to give us a future and a hope. 

 

In the 35+ years since my "baptism" in the Spirit, the "Wow!" factor has never been diminished, but ever increased.  The deeper we go, the more joyful, the more communal, the more amazing!  Like the woman at the well, we begin in sadness and disillusionment, in discouragement and depression -- and we are drawn deeper and deeper into the well of living water, and of the streams of living water flowing out of us into the lives of others.    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  Would that all would recognize the Gift of God and come to the Source of Living Water!

 



Amazing Grace!

I have come to cast fire upon the earth, and what would I but that it be kindled?

--Jesus, Luke 12:49

 

When God places within us the fire of His Holy Spirit, it changes everything -- especially the way we read Scripture.  Before the annointing with fire at Pentecost, the Apostles were "slow to understand," in the words of Jesus.  After the Resurrection, but even before Pentecost, the disciples on the road to Emmaus felt "their hearts burning within them" as Jesus unfolded the Scriptures to them, beginning with the prophets, "interpreting to them in all the Scriptures the things referring to himself" (Luke 24:27).  And shortly afterwards, Jesus appeared to the "eleven" who were gathered together, saying "These are the words which I spoke toyou while I was yet with you..."  Then he opened their minds, that they might understand the Scriptures (Luke 24:45).

 

I think the mental journey of the Apostles must be the journey of every man.  At first, we read the Scriptures out of curiosity, searching for information -- or maybe inspiration.  And, like the Scriptures of other faiths, we may find something strangely beautiful or informative -- but somehow, not necessarily life-changing.  And, like the Apostles, we seem "slow to understand."  There is much there that we reject because it does not fit into our world-view, or because we do not understand its meaning. 

 

I once met a woman under some very unusual circumstances -- I still think she may have been an angel sent to teach me -- who could unfold the Scriptures to me in a way no one else ever had up to that point.  Whatever she had, I wanted it.  I asked if she had gone to ministry school to gain her understanding of the Scriptures.  She told me, "Whenever I don't understand something, I stop reading and ask for God to show me what I need to see."  I had never read Scripture that way, so I adopted her practice.  I never saw nor heard from that woman again, but that one moment changed me forever. 

 

It was not until a young woman prayed for me in the hospital that Scripture began to come alive for me, and once it did, I could not stop reading it.  I was no longer reading for information, as I might read an encyclopedia; now I was reading because it was "MY story."  Abraham's story was MY story; the Acts of the Apostles gave me the understanding of what I had experienced after the prayer in the hospital -- a prayer for the "Baptism of the Holy Spirit."  Never in my life had a simple prayer changed everything --- my attitude, my outlook, my understanding, my behavior, my prayer life. 

 

This was no mere prayer; this was the fire that Jesus came to cast upon the earth; this was "Amazing Grace" such as I had never before experienced!  God told Jeremiah that He would make His words "like fire" in Jeremiah's mouth, and the people like wood.  We know that gold is refined by fire; wood is destroyed.  No wonder the world is so afraid of the fire of God's word!