Friday, July 6, 2018

Closer Than Our Breath and Our Thoughts

In my last entry, I wrote, "We don't often realize how close the Helper is to us -- closer than our breath and our thoughts..."  Yesterday, I had an amazing experience of how true that statement is.

I had gone in for a bronchoscope because my latest CT scan showed a spot that had grown somewhat since the scan done in 2016.  Unlike the first time I had the procedure in 2010, I was a little apprehensive about this one.  In 2010, the CT scan showed a tumor covering the entire right lung; all the doctor had to do was grab a piece from the top. This time, there was a small circle at the bottom and rear of the left lung -- a place much more difficult to reach with the bronchoscope.  According to my doctor, they could not have reached that spot until 2 years ago, but now they have developed radiologically-guided scopes that can get there.

Given my allergies and reactions to all kinds of medicines and anesthetics, and given the location of the spot, I wondered whether the procedure was not more dangerous than the area of concern.  The video-tutorial sent by the hospital, detailing all the things that could possibly go wrong did not help either.  However, I asked Father Mike to anoint me the day before the procedure and continued in prayer up until the next day.

From the moment Father began to recite the scripture from James 5:14*, a profound peace came upon me, deepening even more--almost to the point of sleep-- with his anointing.  All that day, and the next -- the day of the procedure -- all I had to do was to recall the anointing, and the peace returned afresh.  As I lay in the pre-op room, peace and joy surrounded me, and I found myself contented to pray for others for the three hours I had to wait.

As I opened my eyes in the recovery room, I discovered the 23rd Psalm literally dancing through my mind -- from beginning to end, with absolutely no effort on my part to recall the words or even to think about what I was saying.  It was as though a video of the words, with beautiful sound, was playing in my head.  I felt that it was more like I was seeing them unfold before my eyes than that I was thinking about them:  The Lord is my Shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.  He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul.

The video slowed down significantly at the words, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for Thou art with me.  Thy rod and Thy staff, they give me comfort....You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

And the Psalm continued all the way to the end.  I was amazed that there had been no effort at all on my part to remember the words or the sequence of them.

I lay there for a few moments, feeling like a small child being bathed in the Word of the Lord  - a Word that brought peace to my entire being: body, mind, and soul.  The recovery nurse saw me lying there smiling and began speaking to me, asking me questions.  Here was the amazing thing -- because of the anesthesia, I could not recall the answers to the simplest questions she asked.  My mind seemed to still be "under" or have gone on vacation.  I was trying hard to relate to her, in simple conversation.  She was asking about retirement and travel, and I could not recall the names of the places I had been to, even though I could see the pictures in my mind.   Thinking about this after she left, I was even more amazed that the 23rd Psalm had, in a sense, floated before me so vividly -- every word -- without any effort on my part.  I doubt that I could have recalled it if I had tried, but I had not "tried" at all.  It was just there, in front of me, when I woke up.  And it had power: more like be ministered TO me rather than coming from me:

The word of God is living and active, more powerful than any two-edged sword,... judging the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

Psalm 119 says,    I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you (v. 11).
And,                      I am laid low in the dust; renew my life according to your word (v, 25).
And,                     My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word (v. 28).

Isaiah 55:            As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The Holy Spirit, the Helper, is closer to us than our breath and our thoughts.  When we are laid low in the dust, He is present, bending over us as on the day of Creation, breathing into us the powerful and uplifting Word of the Lord:  Light! Be!  Of what should we be afraid?  The Lord is with us, and He still sends His Word to create, to heal, to redeem us!

* [The words from James 5:  Is any one of you sick? He should call the priests of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.  If he has sinned, he will be forgiven....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.]

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