Learning from the Little Flower

Lord, help me today to do what You want me to do, to go where You want me to go, to say what You want me to say, and to give away what You want me to give away.

 (From Rome, Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn).

Much as I have wanted to, I have never been able to identify myself as a "servant of Jesus Christ."  It seems hypocritical to even think of doing so, when I see myself as serving myself and choosing what I want at every minute of the day. I think I may have  written this years ago, but I'll tell the story again of the time when I earnestly and sincerely said to the Father, "I just want to be of use to You." In my spirit, I "heard" a long, pregnant pause, the kind of thing that would happen when one makes a social faux pas at a sophisticated gathering.  And then, for the only time in my life,  I heard God laugh!  It was the kind of roaring, full laughter that immediately pulls you into it -- and I started laughing out loud too.  In my mind, I had a vivid image of a two-year-old pushing a chair up to the sink, saying, "I wash the dishes for you, Mommy."  

Yes, first, Mom has to remove anything breakable or valuable.  Then she has to throw in all the plastic stuff, so toddler will have a good time splashing things around.  Then, after a few minutes, when baby gets bored, she has to clean up the mess he made.

"Be of use to God?"......Hardly.  And yet......somehow, He has made it true.  He has given us dominion over the work of His hands, to guard, nurture, and protect His work.  And truly, what we do does make a difference, for better or for worse.  We build up, build a fence around, and till the soil to productivity to feed the world -- or we poison and destroy it beyond repair.  We feed, clothe, and educate His children -- or we neglect them while we watch soap operas or twitter on our cell phones.

It does make a difference to God and to the earth what we do and how we do it every day.  The book of Ecclesiastes says, Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your heart (9:10), and If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the roof leaks (10:18).

My problem with seeing myself as "useful to God," or a "servant" of Jesus Christ, I think, stems from my vision of doing "great" things for God.  But learning from the Little Flower of Jesus (St. Therese of Liseux) and from Mother Teresa of Calcutta is much more realistic.  St. Therese saw herself as a plaything of the Child Jesus, as a ball thrown into the corner.  If the Child Jesus decided to leave her there, unseen and forgotten all day, then it pleased her to lie there unseen and forgotten, for that was His choice.  If He decided to pick her up and play with her, then she was pleased to please Him.  She said that if one picks up a pin from the floor for love of God, the act was of great merit. ( Because of her, I always pick up Kleenex and cheerios from the floor of the church after parents have left with their small children, and because of her I do it with love instead of with criticism.)

Mother Teresa realistically said, "We cannot all do great things, but we can all do small things with great love," echoing the words of Ecclesiastes.  Someone said to me recently: "Stretch out your hand.  Whatever you find at the end of your arm is what you can do today."  Yes, my vision definitely extends way beyond the reach of my arm, and so I think I cannot help solve the problems of hunger, of misery, of loneliness, of child abuse, of meanness of spirit, of selfishness --- and the list goes on.  But I can do what is put before me today, just today.  

I remember once ending my time of prayer and asking God what He wanted me to do today.  Immediately the thought went through my head: "Clean out the litterboxes!"  Whoever thinks that God does not have a sense of humor has clearly never heard Him laugh or heard His Voice!