The Household of God

There is no greater honor in this life than to be a servant of Jesus Christ.  For many years, I could not call myself a servant of Jesus, because it felt fraudulent; I felt it was more true that I was serving my own interests rather than His.  I still feel uncomfortable with the title, but after visiting the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina, I realize just how many and how varied the servant population had to be to maintain that estate.

The Vanderbilt estate consisted of footmen, chambermaids, dairy men, sheep farmers and their wives who gathered and spun the wool, dressmakers who fashioned clothes for the owners as well as for themselves, stable workers, horse trainers, landscapers and agriculturists, floral designers, housekeepers, furnace keepers,  -- well, you get the idea.  Not all of them did the same tasks, and their roles varied greatly in importance.  Still, each one was necessary to the functioning of the estate.

And it was a great honor to work for the Vanderbilts.  First of all, they paid New York wages, unheard of at the time in rural North Carolina.  Those chosen for service became part of the family and were well taken care of.  In one case, after one of the farmers died prematurely, his family of wife and seven children were given a house to live in and everyone who could work was given a job on the estate.

Seeing how such an organization functioned made me realize how the household of God also functions.  I often wonder what on earth I can do to "serve" Jesus Christ, but I also realize that He is the Master of the Estate, and it is His role to assign the work to each member of the household.  St. Therese said that if it pleased the good Jesus to use her, she was content, but she was also content to remain sitting in the corner if it pleased Him for her to remain idle. And I think it may have been Milton who penned the phrase, "They also serve who stand and wait."

Waiting.....like a footman standing, waiting for orders from the master.  Waiting...like a chambermaid waiting for orders.  On call....attentive to the voice of the Master.  Not knowing what the next task will be, but trusting that the Master will it clear.  I want to be out on the street, shouting to strangers to come in to the Master's household, where it is warm and those within are well fed …. but that is not what He has told me to do.  So I wait, content, knowing that He is the One in charge of running the household, and when it is time, He will let me know His pleasure.  

A Taste of Goodness

When my youngest daughter was growing up, we tried our best to get her to taste cheesecake, knowing she would enjoy it.  But she was put off by the name; admittedly, the name "cheesecake" does not sound appealing.  One day, however, we convinced her to take a small bite.  "THAT'S cheesecake!?" she exclaimed, as she took another bite.  Ever since then, she has been a devotee.

Sometimes I think the same process applies to our spiritual lives.  We hesitate to dip into, to begin tasting, the goodness of the Lord.  The very idea seems repellent to our natural, rational, senses.  We don't want to be misled by romantic, mystical, maybe magical ideas -- we want to be realists!  "No, thank you," we think to ourselves; "we'll stick with the basics!"  Yet still, we hunger for something more.

I love the imagery of Proverbs 9:  Wisdom has built her house;

she has set up her seven colums;

she has dressed her meat, mixed her wine,

yes, she has spread out her table.

She has sent out her maidens;

she calls from the heights out over the city:

"Let whoever is simple turn in here;

to him who lacks understanding, I say,

'Come, eat of my food and drink of the wine I have mixed!

forsake foolishness that you may live;

advance in the way of understanding.'"

Our spirits are hungry for the food of eternal life, the food that comes down from heaven.  Jesus promises to fill that hunger: Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you (Jn. 6:26).....for the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world (6:33).....I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will ever go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty (6:35).

What is it that keeps us from being willing to try, to taste, the goodness of the Lord?   St. Paul tells us in Galatians 5:  the spirit and the flesh are at war with one another....the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with one another.....since we live by the Spirit, let us be directed by the Spirit.

If we had continued reading in Proverbs 9, we would have discovered that the woman Folly also sits at the door of her house, calling out to passersby as they go on their way:

Let whoever is simple, turn in here;

who lacks understanding, to him I say,

"Stolen water is sweet, and bread gotten secretly is pleasing!"

Little does he know that the shades are there,

that in the depths of the nether world are her guests!

Once we taste the sweetness of the Lord's "cheesecake," we will be eternal devotees.  It's not difficult to take the first bite, but our human nature holds us back until we are desperate for something more than the world offers us.  The gracious warmth and hospitality of the Father's house beckons us; His table is set and the food laid out.  All we have to do is taste it!

Seeking Wisdom

Chapter 8 of the Book of Proverbs and
Chapters 7 and 8 of the Book of Wisdom and
Chapter 24 of the Book of Sirach

all speak of Wisdom --
and
should be read together by One Who Seeks Wisdom.

....followed by John chapter 4 and John chapter 7.

There we have it -- the beauty and benefit of Divine Wisdom and the means to obtain it.

In the Garden of Eden, God gave man the choice:  seek Wisdom or live by Knowledge/ Experience.

We usually seek the Tree of (first-hand) Knowledge/ Experience: "I'll believe when I have tasted the fruit for myself."  And the fruit turns bitter in our mouth, like cold ashes on our tongue.

Proverbs 3:18 says that Wisdom is a "tree of life to those who find her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed."  Reading the aforementioned passages on wisdom will spell out the blessings of wisdom and make the reader hungry and thirsty to eat her fruit.  And then, we ask, "How do we acquire this precious fruit of the Tree of Life?"

And the answer belongs to the Giver of Wisdom:  Jesus tells the woman at the well......Ask Me, and I will give you a spring welling up to eternal life!  A spring continues to flow; it does not run dry.  One comes freely to quench one's thirst -- without fear that the spring has dried up.  But Sirach 24 tells us that as we drink and "divert a rivulet into our own little gardens," suddenly, "this rivulet of mine becomes a stream, and then a river flowing out unto the nations."  In John 7, Jesus promises to all who are thirsty, not only a "spring," but instead "streams of living water" flowing from one's belly.

The woman at the well drank from the spring He offered, and dropping her bucket, she ran into the village with "streams of living water."  Seeking Wisdom from the Source is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO!

We can seek Wisdom or we can seek Knowledge from Experience.  One leads to eternal life, peace, joy, and delight in the presence of God.  The other leads to depression, loneliness, isolation, and eternal hunger and thirst.  The slightest turn from one to the other brings the Father "running down the road to meet and embrace" us, the prodigal son.  And won't He still put the ring on our finger, the cloak on our shoulder, and prepare for us a feast without measure when we return to His house?

Seek My Face

To you, O my heart, He has said, "Seek My Face!"

Your face, Yahweh, I will seek!  (Psalm 27)

I once adopted a shelter dog as a puppy, even though I went looking for an older dog.  Since I was working every day, I originally did not want a puppy who would be chewing on the furniture, one who needed to be house broken, etc.  I just did not have the time to devote to training a puppy.  However, once my daughter wrapped her arms around this little pit-bull mix, there was no going back.  Ginger came home with us.

From the very beginning, Ginger was an angel-dog.  She watched my face always, to see whether I was happy with her or not.  She would read my expression to see if she was doing what I wanted her to do.  So easy to house-break, so easy to control, Ginger eventually got to the point that I could walk her without a leash.  I had never quite seen a dog like this one.  When we took her for obedience training, the trainer told me during the first class that I should enter her in obedience contests because she naturally did what they usually had to train dogs to do --- she watched my face for commands.  And she had to train me to respond to Ginger visually rather than the other way around!

St. Therese of Lisieux was devoted to "The Holy Face."  Her full title, if I recall, was "Therese of the Child Jesus and of the Holy Face."  Until I adopted Ginger, I never quite understood Therese's devotion to the Holy Face.  It has taken me a lifetime almost to understand not only Therese but also Psalm 27, my lifetime scripture!  Seeking the Face of God is now possible to us after the Incarnation.  The humanity of Jesus is the doorway to our communion with God, to oneness with divinity.  We seek His face to see if He is pleased with us in all that we do -- and because He has become one with us in the Eucharist ---we know that He is pleased to call us "brothers (sisters)" though we are sinners.

The "sins" of my earthly brothers and sisters have no bearing or diminishment on my delight in them.  We are "one flesh" and I long to see their faces whenever I can.  I long to hear their voices and their stories without limit!  How much more then does the Son of God long to see us and hear our voices!  Your face, O Lord, I do seek, even as You seek mine!

Putting Flesh on our Faith

In 1500, Albrecht Durer painted a self-portrait that at first glance resembles the classic image of the Christ.  I have tried without success to post a copy here, but if you want to google "Durer Self Portrait," you will see what I mean.  This is one of the most unusual self portraits I have ever seen, because of the deliberate modeling of the picture on that of Jesus Christ.

In that year, the general worldwide feeling was that the Apocalypse was expected; anxiety had spread throughout Christendom.  In response to this and in a spirit of humility, Durer painted himself in the attitude of Jesus Christ.  (You may be more familiar with his famous painting of The Praying Hands.)  His work was inspired by the book Imitatio Christi (Imitation of Christ) by St. Thomas a Kempis.

In the most familiar painting of Christ, Jesus extends one hand slightly in blessing over the world.  In Durer's portrait, the same hand points rather to himself, as one who accepts the gift from God and whose hand imitates the divinely-created world.

As I pondered the serenity and peace of Durer's portrait, I thought about the theology that seems to have inspired such a work.  In 1 Cor., Paul writes, just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we (or let us) bear the likeness of the man from heaven (15:49).  And I think Durer has captured that idea in his portrait.

We are all familiar with the shape and appearance of our bodies, much to our chagrin, for most of us.  However, we are less familiar with the shape and appearance of our souls, because they are immaterial.  If we think, however, about what constitutes the soul, it becomes easier to "see" whether or not we bear the likeness of the Man from heaven.

Our souls are comprised of our minds, our hearts/emotions, and our wills---and these qualities in us are so closely connected that it is hard to speak about them individually.  However, it we look at the "shape" of our minds -- or whose image we bear in our minds, or in our hearts, or in our wills -- it is less difficult to see whose image we bear: Adam's or Christ's.

Abraham Lincoln once rejected the suggestion that he choose a particular man for his cabinet: "I don't like his face," said Lincoln.  "Surely," Lincoln's advisor said, "a man is not responsible for the way he looks."  "Before 40, no," said Lincoln, "but after 40, yes."

If our souls bear the image of Christ, surely we will physically begin after 40 to reflect that image in our physical bodies also.  St. Paul's list of the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22 can actually be seen in us, even by strangers:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  These belong to the Spirit of Christ, and they are called "fruits" because they grow in us only through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  No one of us can "give" himself love, or joy, or peace......This is the Gift of God given to us so that we begin to resemble His Son.

God's Workmanship

For we are God's workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do (Eph. 2:10).

When I think of "workmanship," I immediately think of those who do great work -- carpenters, painters (both artistic and mundane), repairmen, teachers, seamstresses, roofers, nurses and doctors, lab technicians, IT managers, and so forth.  How greatly we appreciate those who are careful and knowledgeable in their work!  And how frustrating it is to be at the mercy of shoddy workers!

Recently, our house phones were knocked out by a lightning strike in the neighborhood.  The phone/cable company sent out a worker who could not find the problem, and who finally said we would have to call the home security people.  The home security representative worked for several hours on the problem.  First, he discovered weak battery connectors.  Then he checked every connector in the house, even those we have never used.  Finally, he found the one connector that had been fried by the lightning strike.  And presto! Once again, the phones worked!

We tend to think of God as having finished His work on the 6th day of creation, and now He is eternally "resting," watching us work and judging how well we do our jobs.  But St. Paul tells us that not only are we God's "workmanship," but that we are His "field," His "building" (I Cor. 3:9).  Jesus was a carpenter; I think He is still at work, shoring up the broken-down areas of our lives, doing finishing work on the rough spots, and knocking down walls to expand the narrow spaces of our souls.  He continues to plant the seed of God's word, and to water it, cultivate it in our hearts and minds until it bears fruit.

God is a careful workman.  He does not give up on us because we are resistant to His efforts.  He is not careless in His work, but "perfects all that concerns us."  He has taken up all the causes of our lives, leaving nothing unfinished.  That is why we so much need purgatory to finish what could not be completed in this life.  He cannot allow us to enter the presence of the saints with simmering anger or resentment or deeply-held grudges against one another.  His lovingkindness must search out every last bit of the yeast of sin that remains in our hearts, so that we might be indeed a new creation, created in His Image and Likeness (Jesus Christ).

I am grateful that so great a Workman has taken up my case!  It is as if I had found the best doctor in the universe to diagnose and treat my illness.  It gives me so much hope to know that mine is not a hopeless case -- because God Himself is working on me, and what is impossible for man is possible for Him.

40 Years

Our God is not in a hurry.  He spent 40 years preparing the children of Israel to enter the Promised Land.

Our allotment is 70, or 80, if we are strong, according to the biblical span of years.

We grow impatient with ourselves and with one another.  St. Therese of Lisieux once remarked that the hardest thing for a child of God is to put up with our own failings. And yet, our patient God knew that it would take 40 years for the children of Israel to be ready to trust Him in an unknown land.

How long does it take for a fearful heart to grow calm and confident that God is with us?  I would say that it takes at least 40 years to begin to trust -- 40 years of seeing God work on our behalf, of knowing that time and time again, He has come to our rescue, that He has not left us alone in our sorrow and fears.

The purpose of our faith is not to make us "good people;" neither is it to earn us a place in heaven for all eternity.  The purpose of our faith journey is that we finally come to DEEPLY KNOW GOD!  This knowledge is personal, direct, and intimate -- far beyond the knowledge that comes from living a moral life.  When we have truly experienced that our God is "with us" for 40 years or more, we begin to praise and thank Him for His lovingkindness towards us.  At that point, we have become what Jesus called "True Worshippers in spirit and in truth" (John 4).

The advantage of "old age" is that we can finally look back over our lives and see for ourselves where God has helped us, where we have been led, though we could not see it at the time. And then we begin to praise Him, to thank Him from our hearts.  Now we know for ourselves Who Our God Is, and Who He has been for us all our lives.  And now for the first time, we begin to worship in spirit and in truth.

5 Loaves and 2 Fish

"You, yourselves, give them something to eat!"

How many times have I myself felt the total helplessness of the Apostles when I face the hunger of others, when I have nothing to give them.  And He says to me the impossible command: "Give them something to eat!"  Where, O Lord, will I get the bread I need to feed them?

What do you have at hand? He asks me.  Bring it to me, and I will bless it, and then I want you to hand it out freely.

I have nothing but a few pitiful words to give, but how many times have I been blessed and strengthened by the words of others --- I have seemingly randomly picked up just the right book at the right time and read words that have strengthened my soul.  And I have known that You are with me, that You Yourself have fed my hunger.

Here, O Lord, are my pitiful words.  Take them and give them to whoever can use them!  They are Yours.

Grief and Horror

Mass shootings in El Paso and Ackron, Ohio, have once again left this nation reeling in shock and grief.  What has happened to us?

I am instantly reminded of Jeremiah 9.  When Jesus told the women of Jerusalem who were weeping over him, "Weep not for me, but for yourselves and your children," He was referring to the forthcoming destruction of Jerusalem, but His words immediately recall also the words of the prophet:

Call for the wailing women to come: 
send for the most skillful of them.
Let them come quickly and wail over us
till our eyes overflow with tears 
and water streams from our eyelids.....

Now, O women, hear the word of the Lord;
open your ears to the words of his mouth.
Teach your daughters how to wail;
teach one another a lament.
Death has climbed in through our windows
and has entered our fortresses;
it has cut off the children from the streets
and the young men from the public squares.

Say, "This is what the Lord declares:

'The dead bodies of men will lie
like refuse on the open field,
like cut grain behind the reaper,
with no one to gather them.'"

If we want to know the reason for our grief, the Lord tells us:  It is because they have abandoned my law...They have not obeyed me or my law (Jer. 9:13).  We have desired to go our own way; we wanted to be a godless nation, following our own laws--- and so we have!  This is the result.  Now the NRA tells us we all need our own assault rifles for protection.  Where does it end?

The Medicine of Immortality

St. Ignatius of Antioch calls the Eucharist "The Medicine of Immortality."  Until I read that, I did not realize how much we actually do need medicine for our spiritual lives, but I think Ignatius hit the nail on the head with this phrase.

I recently succumbed yet again to one of Amazon's irresistible book offers.  Having a Kindle is downright dangerous -- it allows us to carry around constantly a world-class library.  Most of the time, especially when traveling, I love having unlimited reading options at my fingertips -- without having to have a separate suitcase of books.  During a 10-hour transatlantic crossing, I am able to access a variety of reading material, from the Complete Works of the Fathers of the Church to the latest murder mystery, with the press of a button.  No chance of boredom here!

One of the downsides of unlimited choice, however, is that occasionally I will choose the wrong book and unknowingly wade into its depths before realizing my mistake.  My latest mystery choice was something called The Woman in Our House by Andrew Hart.  An Alfred Hitchcock-type of suspense novel, it's about a woman who hires herself out on false pretense as a live-in nanny.  Unfortunately, she is actually a psychopath who thrives on hurting others.  Of course, as I got attached to the innocent host family of mother, father and two small children, I read my way into suspense and fear.  I found that I could read only a few pages at a time and then would have to switch over into spiritual reading to restore my balance and peace -- especially before turning off the light at night.  My mother would always tell me that the last thing we think about at night is the first thing we think about in the morning -- and I certainly did not want to wake up in fear!

Padre Pio once said, "I shudder to think about the harm done to souls by a lack of spiritual reading!"  I was beginning to realize as I put this book down each time the effect it was having on my soul.  I could feel the downward pull it was having on my peace and joy -- and yet, I was intrigued by the story and wanted to know how it ended.  Unfortunately, before I could get the to end, I had to read even more danger and suspense-- even more horror!

Last night, before going to sleep, I turned to my antidote reading called Bearing God: The Life and Works of St. Ignatius of Antioch, The God-Bearer by Andrew Stephen Damick.  What a wonderful entrance to the thought and writing of St. Ignatius, who wrote to the churches of Asia Minor as he was being taken to Rome to be devoured by wild beasts!  St. Ignatius was a disciple of St. John the Evangelist.  In fact, it is believed that Ignatius was ordained as bishop of Antioch by St. Peter himself!  It is sooooo good to read the writings of the earliest Fathers of the Church, to see what emphasis they put upon the practice of the early church.

In the section I was reading last night, Damick was unfolding Ignatius' emphasis on the Incarnation -- Jesus' actual humanity--- against the Docetists-- who believed in the divinity of Jesus, but not His humanity.  Ignatius insists that if Jesus is not truly man, then how can we be clothed in Him, putting Him on in baptism (Ga. 3:27)?  According to Ignatius, without the real union of both the divinity and the humanity of Jesus Christ, there is no point in being Christian.  That same union is also to be found in Christians and in everything they do!

For Ignatius, the same principle of the Incarnation extends also to the Eucharist -- the union of the physical with the divine.  The Protestant Reformation removed belief in the Eucharist to a symbol, rather than a reality.  They preferred "four bare walls and a sermon" to belief in the holiness of the Eucharist -- the union of physical and divine.  Traditional Christians believe in the union of the uncreated God with the created world, as the Incarnation of Jesus Christ present in the Eucharist.  The Incarnation was the beginning of the redemption of the created world.  The union of God and man would henceforth be accessible to every one of us in the Eucharist.

The Son of God giving us His incarnate flesh and blood to eat and drink would give us DIRECT ACCESS to His saving divinity.  Jesus told Philip that he would see the Son of Man as Jacob's ladder -- with the angels ascending and descending upon Him.  What does this mean except that through His humanity, we have direct access to God Himself, who comes to us in the Person of the Son of Man?

Ignatius uses his teacher and mentor's theology (St. John the Apostle) in his writings.  Even though John's Gospel may have been written too late for Ignatius' reading, it is possible and probable that Ignatius heard about the words of Christ himself from John:

I am the bread of life.... This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that one may eat of it and not die....the bread that I shall give is my flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world....He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in Me, and I in him. As the living Father has sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of me (Jn. 6).

Without quoting Jesus directly, Ignatius echoes these words when he refers to Jesus' Body and Blood as food and drink -- the "medicine of immortality."

As I turned to Ignatius last night for rebuilding and strength after feeling my energy draining away from definitely "nonspiritual" reading, I found peace, joy, and renewal flowing into me.  I had been to Mass and Communion that morning, and when I read "He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in Me, and I in him," I realized that fear, worry, and anxiety could find no place in me because I now live in Jesus, and He makes His home in me.   I was able to turn off the light and sleep soundly, waking this morning refreshed and at peace!

Along with Padre Pio, I have to wonder how people survive this world without spiritual reading.

Signs of Favor

As human beings, and even for the domesticated animals, we need signs of favor from others -- a hug, a smile, an attentive listening, someone who prepares a meal for us, etc.  

As spiritual beings, we need signs even more of God's favor toward us. We pray, but we cannot read His expression to know that He is listening to us.  We ask for forgiveness but there is no hug to tell us that we are received.  For those in churches without sacramental signs, faith is all there is --- it is up to each individual to believe strongly enough to sustain them, especially when it seems God is absent.

The sacraments are great gifts to us in our need for signs.  Although the Catholic church is condemned by some who consider it idolatrous in its "smells and bells," its sacraments and sacramentals, I see all of the above as signs of God's love.

The miracles worked by Jesus, John tells us were 'signs."  God has not expected us to simply believe that He loves us, though we are expected to "live by faith" and to stand on His Word.  He has given us signs of His love and favor, "in order that we might believe," as St. John tells us.   

All of the sacraments are signs of invisible realities.  God has indeed, impossible as it sounds, accepted us as His very own children -- we have been born again of water and the Spirit, just as Jesus told us.  And Baptism is the sign of our rebirth.  We don't have to wonder if we did it right, if we are truly accepted by God -- we have a sign in truth.

In Confession, we don't have to wonder if we have been forgiven; we have the sign of the sacrament--go in peace: I absolve you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit..  We can approach God in confidence.  In the Eucharist, we are united to Christ, and in Him, one with the Father.  We have a sign -- a sacrament -- that helps us to believe.

Just as God graciously gave Moses the burning bush and his rod that changed shape as signs of His Presence and Power, He has given us the sacraments that we might believe He has accepted and chosen us to change the world, just as He is at work changing us.

Where is God?

When we come to pray, often we need to pause a moment and ask, "Where is the God to Whom I pray?"

If He is far above and out of reach, our conversation with Him will reflect that condition, and our prayer will be stiff and formal   ---   but we know from the Incarnation that He is not "far away and out of reach."  He is closer to us than the air we breathe in and out.

Jesus is Emmanuel -- God with us!  He is closer than our thoughts and our breath, or closer than a brother, as Scripture says:  We live in him and move in him.  He is here.  You know when I sit and when I stand; before a word is on my tongue, Behold, You know the whole of it! (Psalm 139).

When Jesus appeared to the Apostles the second time after His resurrection, He echoed the words  Thomas spoke to his friends when they told him they had seen the Lord:  Unless I put my fingers into his side, I will not believe it!  

Jesus came back a second time:  "Thomas, come and put your fingers into my side."

The Lord is with us.  If we missed His first visit to us, He will not hesitate to come a second time -- or even a third or fourth time if needed.  When we come to pray, we need to know that He has not abandoned us, but is closer to us than our very thoughts.

This Present Chaos

When I ask, "Who is God to you?" most people will reach for the first answer:  The Creator.

Our thoughts go to Genesis and the original chaos -- the unformed abyss where nothing makes sense, nothing is connected.  And then, the Spirit of God hovers over the waters.  The Breath of God speaks:  Light!  Be!  And there was Light for the first time.  And there was evening and there was morning for the first time.

Morning brought a change in the shape of things.

God is He Who Acts.  He is Light.  He is Energy.  He is Motion.  He is Goodness.

Where He is, He penetrates the darkness, and the darkness must fall back:  the darkness of confusion, of error, of hatred, of meaninglessness -- the chaos of pain, of oppression, of fear and lack of peace.

LIGHT! BE!!

And slowly, gradually, softly, the Light pushes back the darkness and holds it at bay.

In each life, God reveals Himself through its history.  Our collective history and our personal histories are the prime means of God revealing Himself to us.  He still pushes back the darkness in our lives.  He still brings peace to the chaos and confusion.  He still hovers over the angry waters, breathing peace.

WHAT GOD DID, GOD DOES!  He still acts today as He acted then.  He has not changed.

There is no difference between the first day of creation and this day!  It is the same God Who ACTS today, the Same Spirit Who Breathes over the waters today.

It is the Same Word that speaks today over this present chaos:  Light! Be!  And the darkness has never understood or overcome the Light of this world (Jn. 1).  We wait in hope for our personal dawn of creation.  We look up, knowing we will not be put to shame.  We believe.  We trust.  We know.

God as a Taverner

A friend recently passed on to me a wonderful letter from around 1150 A.D:  The "Scala Claustralium"  (Ladder of Monks): A Letter by Guigo II to his Friend Gervase.

The letter is about prayer as the Ladder to Heaven seen by Jacob in Genesis.  It is quite long, and requires more than one reading to fully reward the reader.  But it is worth the effort in its insights about prayer.  In fact, I would say that to sit with this letter about ten minutes a day could easily lead the reader into deeper prayer.  Fortunately, in this century, we have only to go to the internet to download such a treasure:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guigo_II

The following is one delightful excerpt:

So does God Almighty to his lovers in contemplation like a taverner, who has good wine to sell, to good drinkers who will drink well of his wine and spend well. He knows them well when he sees them in the street. Quietly he goes to them and whispers in their ear and says to them that he has a claret, and of good taste in the mouth.  He entices them into his house and gives them a taste. Soon when they have tasted of it and think the drink good and greatly to their pleasure, then

They drink all night, they drink all day;

And the more they drink, the more they may.

Such liking they have of that drink

That of none other wine they think,

But only for to drink their fill

And to have of this drink all their will.

And so they spend what they have, and then they sell or pawn their coat, their hood and all they may, for to drink with liking while they think it good....

Therefore, when God sends any ghostly liking to your soul, think that God speaks to you, and whispers in your ear, and says: "Have now this little, and taste how sweet I am. But if you will fully feel what you have tasted, run after me and follow the savour of my ointments.  Lift up your heart to me where I am sitting on the right hand of my Father, and there you shall see me, not as in a mirror, but you shall see me face to face.  And then you shall have fully at your will that joy that you have tasted forever without end.  And that joy or liking none shall snatch from you.

I thank God that He is the "taverner" who takes the initiative in "tempting" us to taste of His sweet wine and who gradually draws us deeper and deeper into the "drunkenness" of the Holy Spirit.  But as Brother Guigo is so much more articulate and wise about these things, I recommend that you read and contemplate his wonderful letter.

The Mind of Christ

Holy Spirit,

Think Your Thoughts in me

Until Your Thoughts

Become my thoughts!

Amen.

God Wants to Help Us

The 4-year-old had the flu and was vomiting on the sofa.
The 2-year-old was being potty-trained and crying, "Mama, I have to go poo-poo.
The 5-month old was screaming with hunger.
And I was a crazy person.  No matter which direction I went in, it was the wrong direction.

I had had 3 children in 4 years, and I was in way over my head.  I've always had trouble being organized myself, but managing the daily needs of babies and toddlers was totally beyond my capabilities.  The stabilizers of my life up to this point had always been prayer and sleep -- and now there was no time for either one.

Because I nursed my children, it seemed that for years, the longest stretch of sleep I had was about an hour and a half.  In addition, allergies continued to cause ear infections, tonsillitis, colic, and other problems that kept us all awake during the nights.  When I tried to pray ---or even to reach some level below that of constant panic --- a baby would wake up crying.  I wish I had been mature and stable enough at the time, walking with God enough to know that my "prayer" was allowing Him to help me in my stress.  My prayer should have been that of Martha, taking care of what needed to be done without yearning to sit down like Mary, listening at the feet of Jesus.

I had tried calming myself with the latest fads -- yoga, Transcendental Meditation, and the "Power of Positive Thinking" advocated by Universal Unitarian literature.  Obviously, none of these methods worked because there was no room in my life for "ooommmmmm."

Finally, in desperation, I said to the Lord, "If you give me time to pray, I will take whatever time you give me, instead of running around trying to get diapers washed and other things done."  And then I managed to release my control of trying to find time for myself.  I put it in His hands.

A week or so later, my neighbor across the street asked if she could take the children with her to the bank.  Whaaaaaaat????? Who does that?  Take two children to the bank (she was leaving the baby with me, obviously.)  And soon she started taking them with her to the grocery store and other places.  Usually, they were gone only about 20 minutes at a time, but I had promised God that I would take that time to pray, and I did.  I was amazed at His solution!  It seems that all I needed was a few minutes now and then to calm down and catch my breath and realize that the chaos was temporary.

God wants to help us with our lives.  Emmanuel means "God with us."  But we can't believe it.  We think we have to stretch ourselves into all kinds of postures -- physical and mental and spiritual -- to reach Him.  But He wants to reach us!  That's why Jesus came in the flesh -- to reach us where we are!  "Prayer" is simply leaning into Him and allowing Him to enter into our lives, no matter where we are, no matter how weak we are.  He is not far away, but near at hand, if we could only believe it!

The Spiritual Life

In The Blue Period, his novel about Pablo Picasso, Luke Gerard Kummer describes a scene between Picasso and his close friend, Carles, a poet:

[Carles] paused at the studio's threshold and turned back around. "Tell me something.  What do you feel when you paint?"

Pablo couldn't help but detect a note of envy in Carles's voice.  "Didn't you declare once that painting is nothing more than dust and grease slopped on a rag?"

"Am I wrong? Doesn't mean it can't evoke powerful feelings, though.  In the viewer or painter.  You always appear so immersed in the picture you're making, yet serene."

….Pablo had not considered the question before. He was sure his brush never got the best of him...and supposed that's what Carles must see.  But the feeling of painting?  It came so naturally that Carles might well have asked him. "What does it feel like to be awake?" As opposed to what, asleep?

[Pablo notes that Carles always seems to struggle with his life and his work, "wrestling his demons" and rarely winning.]

….The origin of this unenviable condition was difficult to pinpoint.  Its root, though,, no doubt was tangled up with his (Carles's) ennui. Hard to say what comes first and in what order, right? Events conspire to induce sadness, then melancholy becomes its own disease.  So we medicate ourselves.  And then, poof! The flesh is sapped -- another unhappy development, thus repeating the cycle.  The world sags, the body sags, the world sags even more.

********************************************************

Most people seem to believe that the spiritual life is an option -- something that we can take or leave, depending on our interest in such things.  But when God breathed His Spirit into man's nostrils at creation, "Man became a living being."  Without that Spirit, we fall back first into ennui, then into discouragement, and then into melancholy.  

Jesus said:  The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing.  The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life (JN. 6:63).  

In the New Testament, two Greek words are both translated as "life" in English --- but they mean very different things.  The word "bios" refers to this present existence--physical life.  The word "zoe" refers to spiritual/ eternal life.  The zoe that Jesus promises, however, gives life not only to our spirits, but also to our minds, our hearts, our wills, and our physical bodies.  It overflows from the deepest part of us to all the other parts of us.  

That is why after people have an encounter with Jesus Christ, they come fully alive in intellect, in love, in doing good, and even physical cures in some cases.  His ministry on earth continues to this day -- I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly, He said.

The spiritual life is not an option; it is a necessity if we do not wish to live a downward spiral: The world sags, the body sags, the world sags even more!

Knowing God

Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you...I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them (Jn. 17 25-26).

No one has ever seen God, but God the only Son, who is at the Father's side, has made him known (Jn. 1:18).

Jesus came to make known the Father, and His promise at the Last Supper was that He would "continue" to make Him known.  That "continue" applies to us to this very day.  All of His teaching, His miracles, His ministry to us even today reveals to us Who God Is.  

When Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, He was telling us Who God Is -- He who washes our feet, Who cleanses us from sin, Who anoints our wounds and prepares us to sit at table with Him.  When Jesus restored Peter as head of the church after Peter's betrayal, He was revealing to us the love of the Father, Who restores all things even in the face of our betrayal of Him.  

The atheist denies that God exists, but even he cannot deny the historic presence of Jesus Christ, whose very purpose was to "reveal the Father."  If Jesus had not come in the flesh, we might have excuse not to know the Father, but He has come -- and He has revealed the Father.  In the words of C.S. Lewis, if Jesus is not Who He claimed to be, then He is either a liar or a lunatic -- but his life and death testify to the Truth.

The agnostic also claims that we cannot know God.  But Jesus, whom we can know, at least historically, said that we can know the Father:  Have I been among you so long and you still do not know Me?

Is it possible that Jesus is no longer doing His work -- revealing to us the Father?  And how is it that we still do not know God?  How can it be that we are still afraid of God?  If we want to know what it means to "fear God," let us approach Jesus' reverence for His Father --- and more than approach, let us get ourselves into Jesus's love and reverence for the Father.

It is not only possible to know God; it is possible to "learn" God by "learning" Jesus Christ.  In Romans 13:14, we are told to "put on Christ Jesus and make no provision for the desires of the flesh," (sinful nature) (or the natural man).  Ignatius of Antioch wrote to the churches of Asia Minor, telling them to "learn Christ," and to be "bearers of God."  He called himself "God bearer."

Ever since I heard about Ignatius' advice, I have wanted to "learn Christ."  He did not say to "learn about Christ," or even to "learn from Christ," but rather to "learn Christ."  The goal of every Christian is to learn Christ.  And in learning Christ, we also learn His Father.  We cannot say God is beyond our reach, for we have been given His very Son in the flesh.  In Him, and with Him, clothed in Him, we shall reach God Himself.

Jesus's Dog

For much of my adult life, I have wanted to be St. Dominic's dog.  St. Dominic had a vision at some point of a dog running through the streets of his hometown with a torch.  That vision is depicted in a giant mosaic in St. Dominic's Church in Lakeview, a suburb of New Orleans.  The explanation given to St. Dominic was that he was himself that dog, running with the torch of Truth throughout his world.

I, too, have longed to run with a small flame of the divine truth.  However, closer to the reality of my life, I now want to be Jesus's dog.  Before Katrina, when I lived in Metairie, I had a sweet dog who just loved me so much that she was willing to walk beside me without a leash.  When I stopped at the street corner, she would sit at my side, waiting for the signal to cross with me.  Thinking back on Ginger, I realize now how much discipline it took to stay by my side instead of chasing squirrels or cats when she saw them.  I never had to worry about her running into traffic or into danger; I knew she would stay close to me.

Once, when we were out walking, Ginger was attacked by a dog twice her size.  Instead of running away, she took refuge behind me, not trying to defend herself, but just trusting me to defend her.  Fortunately, the dog's owner was right there to protect both of us!

That's the relationship I now want with Jesus.  I know that I do not have within myself the strength of St. Dominic -- to run through the streets with the torch of divine truth.  I just want to walk beside Jesus, stopping when He stops, watching His face for the signal to move again.  When I am attacked by danger greater than my ability to defend myself, I just want to hide behind HIS power and strength, waiting for HIS defense in my weakness.  I pray that I won't be distracted by cats and squirrels in my own life, which draw my attention away from His Presence and Purpose for my life.

When I read my meditation for today, this is what it says:

When you approach Me in stillness and in trust, you are strengthened  You need a buffer zone of silence around you in order to focus on things that are unseen.  Since I am invisible, you must not let your senses dominate your thinking.  The curse of this age is overstimulation of the senses, which blocks out awareness of the unseen world....The goal is to be aware of unseen things even as you live out your life in the visible world. (Jesus Calling, June 15).

I wonder if I can be as content walking by the side of Jesus as Ginger was walking by my side, or if I need to chase a squirrel now and then!

The Lord is my Shepherd

Come and hear, all you who fear God, let me tell you what He has done for me (Ps. 66:16)

I woke up this morning with a vivid memory of the time I was almost kidnapped.  I don't know what triggered that memory this morning, but then I opened my meditation book to read the excerpt from Psalm 66 above.  And I realized that I needed to tell the story.

It was a beautiful spring morning.  I was 5 years old and not allowed to cross the street, so I was sitting on the sidewalk at the corner, watching children playing in the next block.  I can still recall the feel of the pavement under me and the soft breeze around me.  We lived on one of the only connecting streets between Airline Hwy and Metairie Road, so I was used to constant traffic on our street.  An old red pickup truck passed me and then braked about halfway down the next block.  I remember thinking that the driver must have wanted to turn at the corner where I was sitting.  Before the truck began to back up, I heard a commanding voice just above me and on my right hand side:  RUN, GAYLE, RUN!!  

At the time, I had never heard anything about kidnapping.  I'm quite sure the word was not in my vocabulary.  But the Voice that spoke to me was not to be questioned or ignored.  I was not really afraid, but just obeying the Voice.   I got up and started running for home, hearing the truck backing up and stopping at the corner.  There were only 3 houses on our block, so I was at the second house when I heard one of the men say, "Get her, Joe."  Then I was afraid, but when I turned up the driveway to my house, the two men turned back to their truck.  I ran in the back door, screaming, and wrapped my arms around my mom's legs. 

When I could tell her what happened, she called the police, but there was little I could tell them other than the red truck.  A few days later, I asked my mom whose voice has spoken to me.  She told me that it was my guardian angel, the first I had ever heard about a guardian angel.  But when I started school the next September, there was a very large painting in my first-grade classroom of an angel shepherding two small children across a narrow bridge -- and I knew then what a "guardian angel" did.

I have often wondered why I was preserved that day, when so many children have suffered kidnapping and harm.  But I have never forgotten or taken for granted the Voice and the Angel that saved my life. 

The Divine Energy

C. S. Lewis once wrote, "If we want to possess the Divine Energy, we must get very close to, or even into, the thing that has it." (I am quoting him from memory, so I may not have the exact wording here, but it's close enough.)

The church-- the gathering of those who have "put on" Christ Jesus--- was born on Pentecost, with the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the disciples.  From them, the energy spread to 3000 people who heard their words that day.  And from that 3000, that energy was carried to the ends of the earth, reaching down 2000 + years even to us today.

Being a Christian means "putting on Jesus."  It does not mean striving to be holy or perfect, but rather allowing His energy to permeate our lives and penetrate our thoughts in everything we do.  Paul tells us that we "have the mind of Christ."  In order to have the attitude, or mindset, of Christ, we must have His Spirit influencing our minds, as well as our bodies: just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man (Adam), so let us bear the likeness of the man from heaven (Jesus) (1 Cor. 15:49).

The book of Galatians tells us that "all who were baptized into Christ have been clothed with Christ." Now, if we have been "clothed" with Christ, His Spirit animates us in thought, word, and deed.  It is not that we have suddenly become perfect; but rather, that the Spirit of Christ continues to work in us until He has made us perfect.  Much has to be destroyed in the process, for at one time, we were all subject to the "ways of this world and to the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient" (Ephesians 2:1).

In other words, either we are living by the energy of Christ at work in us or we continue to live by the energy that animates the world around us.  The energy unleashed at Pentecost transformed the world for all time; it can transform us as well.  The book of Ephesians (3:20) contains a sentence that should encourage us daily:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

If we imagine that somehow "we" have to "do" Christianity, we are hopelessly lost and incompetent.  That is the meaning of saying we are sinners -- we have not within ourselves the least capacity to reach God.  But He has seen our helplessness and sent His Son into our hearts to do the impossible.  He has raised us in Him from dead works to joyful living.  C.S. Lewis is exactly right -- if we want the energy of God, we must get near to, or even into, the thing that has it -- Jesus Christ.

Another Advocate

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate/Counselor to be with you forever---the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you (Jn. 14:16-17).

This takes my breath away ---  "another" Advocate?  Who is the first Advocate/ Counselor/ Helper? 

Were I to ask the question, I would know the answer immediately.  "Have I been with you so long, and you do not still know Me?"  

Jesus is, has been from the beginning, our Advocate, our Counselor, our Helper.  He came not to judge us, but to save us from ourselves, from the enemies that overwhelm us --- the world, the flesh, and the devil.  And now, He has gone back to heaven, but He has not left us orphans, without help.  He has sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, as Advocate, as Helper, as Counselor.  

He speaks in us and for us --- and yet, we seldom trust His Voice in us.  We think we are speaking for ourselves and to ourselves.  We shrug off His help in us because we cannot believe that God would be speaking to us.  After all, we aren't on "that close" a  communication line with Him.  If only we knew!  He longs to speak with us daily, even momentarily.  But our ears are stopped by unbelief!

What if we could believe for a moment, for a day, that the Advocate is here, and that He wants -- in fact, IS, speaking in our hearts, in our minds?  Would we not worry less? put down our mental burdens? and begin to enjoy the days, the weeks, the years we have left?  Would we not laugh more, secure that we are safe? that we are being taken care of?  that we can let go and let God?

We have "another" Advocate.  I do not have to fear the world around me, the people around me, for I have a Protector, an Advisor, a Helper living within me -- and His Voice, His Power, is greater than anything there is to fear or worry about!  I can speak with Him freely, as someone speaks to a friend who will not judge or condemn, but only support and comfort.  In fact, that is His first name -- the Comforter!  and "Com/fort" means "with strength!"  

Could God give us anything greater?  Jesus referred to the Advocate as "the Gift of the Father."  How much I long for everyone I know to walk moment by moment with and in this greatest of all Gifts!

The Great Gathering

In the opening chapter of the Gospel of John, John the Baptist identifies himself as the "voice of one calling:  In the desert prepare the way of the Lord; make  straight in the wilderness a highway for our God."

Few of us realize that this, the second part of the book of Isaiah, was spoken to the Jewish captives in Babylon (540BC).  This part of Isaiah is called the "Book of Consolation," as the second Isaiah was promising the captives return to their homeland of Israel.

All through the prophetic books, the expectation was the Messiah, when he came, would gather in the lost and forsaken, those who had been scattered, taken captive, and exiled from their homeland.  He would reunite the lost tribes of Israel. So, when John the Baptist quotes Isaiah here, he is identifying Jesus as the One Who would gather back those who had wondered away from the Father.  In fact, the same chapter of Isaiah (40) speaks of the Shepherd who "gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart..."

In many images of the resurrection, Jesus is pictured emerging from the tomb with a tall banner, the kind armies traditionally carry in battle.  Once the troops are scattered on the battlefield, they know to search for their banner -- the one with the distinctive mark of their regiment -- to find their way "home."  Jesus, overcoming the enemies of God and the forces that scatter us to the ends of the earth, including death, now carries the banner that calls us back together.

The older I get, the more I begin to feel the longing of Jesus to "gather us in" to the heart of the Father.  The night before He died, He said, "Now this is eternal life: to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" (Jn. 17:3).  And He says that He has been given authority over all people "that he might give eternal life" to all those he has been given.

More and more, when I come to pray, I find myself opening my arms and my heart to gather in all those who do not know the love of the Father, given to us in Jesus.  I pray for my children, for my brothers and sisters, all the next generation, for my friends, for the members of my church, for my neighbors, for the Jehovah's Witnesses who come to my door, and for all my former students.  I just want them to know intimately the God Who has been my God all the days of my life.  I want them to know Jesus Christ, that He might lead them to the Father.  And I want them to recognize the action of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

There is nothing greater in this life than intimacy with God; there is nothing that can compare to walking in His Presence daily.  If I could, I would scatter this richness to everyone I know.

Ordinary People

Been thinking about the saints lately.  And then I found a long email from one of them.

Back in 2001, I was heading a committee at the college to change the method of faculty evaluation.  Purportedly, faculty evaluation existed for the purpose of "improving instruction" and for rewarding those teachers who did just that.  Realistically, however, the system did not achieve its purpose.  Rather, supervisors had in mind a bell curve -- a few superior teachers at the top, a few poor ones at the bottom, with a middle curve of so-so/ mediocre teachers at the bottom.  And they wanted to distribute merit pay along the lines of the bell curve.

The effect of this system was that the good teachers got better; the poor ones got worse, and the ones in the middle argued that they too deserved an "outstanding" evaluation because they too had accumulated the required points in the system.  In the meantime, no one really was looking at the improvement of instruction.

Then an article appeared in the local newspapers about a book by Tom Coens:  Abolishing Performance Appraisals: Why They Backfire and What to do Instead.  I have found that the Providence of God always provides exactly what we need when we need it, like manna in the desert.  Reading Tom's book was an answer to an almost unsolvable dilemma -- how to change the culture of performance evaluations and the mindset that "evaluating" people would actually make a difference to the students.

I wrote to Tom Coens, who had spent more than 30 years working in human resources, quality management, and labor law.  I explained the mindset I was facing at the college and the struggle we had to actually use faculty evaluation to improve instruction.  I thought maybe he could suggest a speaker who would persuade the college to take another look at the way they were doing evaluation. I could offer only 3000 dollars to a speaker, which would have to cover travel expenses -- plane fare, hotel, cabs, food, etc.  The honorarium worked well for local speakers, or for those in education, who were used to subsidizing their salaries with speaking engagements, but those at the top level of management were used to drawing much higher fees for speaking.

To my surprise and shock, Tom wrote back to say that he himself would come to the college, and that he would bring his wife.  I was amazed that this man would extend himself to a small community college, and take on not only the faculty at large, but the administrators, who had been looking with some distaste on the direction in which our committee had been heading.  When he came, he spent two full days addressing the leadership of the college, answering their questions and addressing their concerns, in addition to a morning address to the college at large, along with afternoon workshops.

I was stunned by this outright gift from heaven.  His presence, knowledge, and experience gave my small committee the weight it needed to move forward with a whole new concept of faculty evaluation -- changing the culture of the college for the better, I felt.  At the end of two days, Tom was exhausted, but he and his wife met me and my husband for dinner before I took them to the airport.  I felt I was in the presence of holiness -- someone whose whole life was dedicated to the good of others at the level of management, where it could make a difference.  We had a wonderful evening, which ended in his inscribing my book.

A few months later, I received an email from Tom, telling me that he was battling stomach cancer.  After explaining his treatment, Tom wrote:

I have lots to do, and will fight, with God's Grace, meaning that I accept His Will at a comfortable level regardless-- I do want some more quality time with my children and grandchildren and my work, my mission....but I must see how this plays into the bigger scheme of things, all in God's hands.  The Gospel this week was about Jesus out on the water calling Peter out and Peter losing faith starting to sink.  I keep thinking about that and me in this situation.  

Tom died a few months later, leaving me a profound sense of loss that the world had lost a great saint, and a profound sense of gratitude that God had sent him to me in my hour of need.

We have all encountered "ordinary" people like Tom who were/are extraordinary in their union with Jesus Christ, and who allow Jesus to work through them to save the world from itself.  Deo Gratias! 

"I Am Not a Sinner"

I have heard that in ancient Egypt, during the times of the pyramids, that the Pharaohs would be entombed with something called The Book of the Dead or otherwise The Book of the Great Awakening.  In this book were hundreds of "rules" or maxims that the soul would have to navigate at the last judgment before he could enter the abode of the dead -- something akin to the Elysian Fields concept of the Greeks.  These rules stood behind all of Egyptian civilization for hundreds of years.

Essentially, the soul of the dead would have to proclaim, "I have not sinned" before each one of these rules before he would be allowed to enter the Great Awakening.

I am quite sure that the Book of the Dead was probably a deterrent to bad behavior for the ancient Egyptians; I am not so sure that it serves such a useful purpose in today's society, where the fear of the Lord has gone somewhat out of favor among men.

While human nature would prefer to claim "I have not sinned" in regard to either Egyptian standards or those of the 10 Commandments, the truth is that "we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans).  The problem is being convinced in our innermost hearts that we ARE truly sinners.  There is always a "reason" (excuse) for our bad behaviors, for our not being the image and likeness of God.  While it is easy to acknowledge that we are not perfect, we don't really see ourselves as "sinners" either.  After all, we are not really as bad as "some people we know."

But Jesus told us the parable of the publican and the sinner.  The one who was justified was the one who stood at the back of the synagogue, hardly daring to lift his eyes to heaven: Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I have sinned.  The one who proclaimed "I am not that bad....I am not like this poor sinner in front of me...." went away not justified and not receiving mercy.  After all, he didn't really need it!

One of the first movements of grace in us is the realization of our sinfulness.  It is the office of the Holy Spirit to "convict the world of guilt in regard to sin..." (John 16).  And the awakening of our guilt comes along with the Presence of Jesus Christ in our souls. Peter's reaction to the Presence of the Lord was to say, "Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man!"

The closer the Lord comes to us, the more aware we become of our sinfulness.  On the surface, or before our "conversion," we tend to think we are "not so bad" because we are not robbing banks or molesting children.  We tend to our business, don't drink to excess, and obey traffic laws for the most part.  Little do we glimpse into the depths of our soul, where the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Holiness, dwells. Once we begin to enter into the inner sanctuary, we begin to see who we really are, in the eyes of God --- eternally beloved, but also irremediably stained and crippled by sin.

I love, love, love the 7th and 8th chapter of Romans, where Paul says, "I don't understand myself at all -- the very thing I say I will not do is the very thing I end up doing.  And the thing I say I will do is the very thing I end up not doing.....unhappy man that I am!  I am essentially flawed at the core of my being!  (complete and unabashed paraphrase here).  

But there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.  The Law of the Spirit of Life has set me free from the law of sin and death!

Before the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, we were ALL under the law of sin and death.  But now His own power works daily in us to overcome our sinful natures!  Thanks be to God when we can finally begin to see how sinful we are --- it means that the Holy Spirit is awakening us to the power of the Resurrected Christ to overcome death in our souls!

"Can You Hear Me Now?"

Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire....He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God (Jn. 8: 42 and 47).

Faith comes by hearing the message, and the message is heard by the word of Christ (Romans 10:17).

Jesus told Nicodemus, "Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."  Obviously, from the words of Jesus in John 8, not only can we not see the kingdom until we are born again, but neither can we hear the words that God speaks until we are born again.  Jesus told the Pharisees that they were "unable" to hear because they belonged to their "father" the devil and wanted to carry out their father's desire.  By implication, then, if we are born again, "not of a father's desire, but of God," according to the first chapter of John, we will want to do our Father's desire....and we will hear the words of God.

In the New Testament, two words in the Greek are translated exactly the same in English; both "logos" and "rhema" in the Greek are translated "word" in English.  "Logos" in Greek refers to the "Divine Expression."  In the first chapter of John, it says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  Jesus is the Divine Expression of the Father; by Him and through Him all things have life, whether they recognize Him or not.  Whether we are able to "hear" what God says, however, depends on whether we have been born again of water and the Spirit of Truth.

When the book of Romans says that the message is heard by the word of Christ, the Greek word used is "rhema" -- the living and active spoken word.  We are "born again" by the spoken word of Jesus Christ.  As He spoke to Lazarus in the tomb, "Lazarus, Come forth," so also He speaks into the darkness of our dead hearts, "________, come forth," and we awaken to new life.  At one point, we were "dead" to God and "alive" to sin, but by spoken word of Christ in our hearts, we are now dead to sin and alive to God.

If the Divine Expression, or the Word of God, seems "dead" to us, we need to go to the living and active word of God -- Jesus Christ-- asking that our ears and eyes be opened to the kingdom of God.  The kingdom was present on earth with the Presence of Jesus Christ, and yet so many could not see it or hear it in Him.  They did not "belong to God," and so they fulfilled the words of Jeremiah: "You foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear (5:21).

Through Him, we are made children of God and learn to hear the words that God speaks.

I used to wonder how people "got faith" when I heard sermons about how important faith is.  "How do you "get faith?" I wondered.  Now I know that we will believe the words of God only after our ears have been opened by the Holy Spirit poured into our hearts by the word of Christ.  It's a living, loving thing -- rhema -- not a dead word that is spoken to us by Jesus.  If we want Scripture to come alive to us, let us go to the only One who is able to open the book to us -- Jesus Christ.  If we ask, He will not refuse -- He will baptize us with the Holy Spirit and with fire (Matthew 3:11).  We will hear the words He speaks and come out of our graves.

The Resurrected Life

How grateful I am for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

Jesus promised us that He would be with us always, even to the consummation of the world. The Resurrection makes that possible --- and believeable!  He "tabernacled" with us, dwelt with us face to face, so that we could see Him, touch Him, love Him, and speak with Him as a man speaks with a friend.  And He said He would never leave us orphans.

The human stories of the Old Testament were a testimony in themselves:  God is present -- and acting -- in human history.  He is Emmanuel -- God with us!  But still, it was hard for us to believe and to trust.  Maybe, after all, these were "just stories," as some of my friends attest.  Maybe God was "with" Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but maybe not "with " us in the same way.  

But as John says, now we have seen Him, have beheld the glory of the only-begotten Son, Who has revealed to us the love of the Father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, and even more, not in a parable at all, but in the reality of the crucifixion.  The Son of God crucified for love of us!  We have seen it for ourselves.  In fact, we have even taken part in it by our sins.  

But the story has another ending in the Resurrection.  Now He is truly with us always.  He is with me today, in my very human life, in my comings and my goings, in my staying at home and working in my garden.  In the cooking and the precious little cleaning I do.  He is praying in me to the Father, and breathing in me His very personal Spirit, making me see the world and the people around me through His eyes.

His death was in fact my death -- the death of "the empty way of life handed down to us by our fathers, the death of the Adam nature in my soul, the nature which caused me to see others as "other," as different, the nature which always wanted to hide from the good God Who loves me, the nature who constantly chooses the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Now He lives in me, daily putting to death all that is not the image and likeness of God in me, and daily raising in me the new creation, created to be like God.  When I run from the Presence of God, He gently goes in search of me, bringing me face to face with Father Who loves me.

Psalm 103 says, "Praise the Lord, o my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.....and forget not all His benefits:

He forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases;

he redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion.

He satisfies your desires with good things,

so that your youth is renewed like the eagles's.

The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.

Here the writer is speaking to his very soul --- that is, to his own heart, mind, and will -- and reminding himself of all that God is doing for him on a daily, even on a moment by moment, basis.  This, to me, is the Resurrected Life of Jesus in us.  Every single day, every single moment, He lives within me, "working righteousness" and healing, teaching, consoling, encouraging, satisfying my desires, renewing my youth like the eagle's.  The ministry He carried out on earth 2020 years ago, He continues daily in my soul -- as if I were the only person He needed to tend to.  And in the process, He transforms me by the power of His resurrection from an earthly to a heavenly creature!

What return can we make to Him for all He is doing for us?  We can allow Him to continue to do in us all that He wishes to do! 

Man Does Not Live By Bread Alone

As far as I know, my husband and I are the only Catholics on our block.  We are surrounded by Southern Baptists --- wonderful people who would do anything for you.  Most of them attend not only church on Sunday, but also Bible study during the week.  Their faith means everything to them, and they would love for us to attend their church.  

In spite of all of this, last Sunday, as I walked out of the house to attend Mass, I experienced a profound sense of sorrow and compassion for my neighbors because I was going to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in Communion, and I knew that no matter how powerful the music and the preaching at their church that day, they would not be receiving the Eucharist.

"Man does not live by bread alone!"  What more does he need?  We all know that children who do not receive love fail to thrive, despite being fed regularly.  Even animals need love and attention, and their joy overflows when they know we love them as well as feed them.  An animal in a shelter needs a family; they need adoption, even though they are being cared for physically.

Jesus knew that we would not only crave, but need, the same love and attention He lavished on His apostles and friends while He was on earth.  We were made for adoption into a family -- the family of God.  We were made to share in the Divine Life of the Trinity, and this is what He died to give us.  Although fully human, He also fully lived the Divine Life -- the love and fellowship and joy of the Father and the Holy Spirit.  We were designed for the same experience -- knowing ourselves to be the "beloved," and receiving the joy of adoption:  "Son, all that I have is yours!"

How is it possible for man, who lives exteriorly, to enter into the divine presence and to enjoy the love of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit?  Christ "gave Himself" as our health, as our life.  He put to death on the cross our human nature alienated from fellowship with God, in order to rise as a New Creation -- a man risen from the dead -- and able to enter into Love.  In the Eucharist, we receive -- become one with -- the Risen Christ.  He does not become like we are, but instead, He gradually transforms our mortal bodies into His Risen Body.  

As we die to sin, we are transformed "from glory to glory," able to experience the same fellowship of the Father that He experienced in His mortal body.  He is the only - begotten Son; we are "sons by adoption."  The bread that He gives us is our very life -- not only our physical lives, but our spiritual, emotional, mental, psychological lives.  We experience joy because we have been accepted -- adopted-- into a Family.  We are able to love others as Jesus loves them because they too have been children of God. 

No matter how interesting or uninteresting our church service, it is the same Jesus who gives Himself to us at Mass.  It is His work in us, to change our mortal bodies into His glorious one, that ultimately counts.  We leave Mass changed, whether the music is good or poor, whether the sermon is fantastic or dull!  Christ Himself has become part of us; we have become part of Him!

I wish.....wish......wish with all my heart that my family, friends, and neighbors could come with me and receive this incredible Gift of Eternal LIfe -- to know the Father as the Son knows Him because the Son is in us and transforming us into His very own Person.  We live not by bread alone, but by every Word that comes forth from Him and enters into us -- and by the love and joy He communicates to us by His Presence in us!

To Know Christ Jesus

Now this is eternal life:  that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent (Jn. 17:3).

For You granted Him authority over all people that He might give eternal life to all those You have given Him (Jn. 17: 2).

If you knew Me, you would know my Father also (Jn. 8: 19).

No one has ever seen God, but God the only Son, who is at the Father's side, has made Him known (Jn. 1:18).

It is clear from the Gospel of John that once we "know" God the Father, we have "eternal life."  Clearly also, the "knowledge" Jesus refers to is not intellectual knowledge, or "knowing about" the Father, for even the religious leaders of His day knew about God --- and yet, Jesus accused them of NOT knowing either Him or the Father:  "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also."  "You are unable to hear what I say...The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God" (Jn. 8: 19 and 43 and 47). 

In the Hebrew language, "knowledge" was equivalent to "experience," rather than to intellectual understanding alone.  This is why tasting from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was forbidden in the Garden. Our God is not opposed to intellectual pursuit; He gave us a mind which seeks understanding of the world around us and even of spiritual truth.  What He does not want us "tasting" is the experience of evil, for once we taste evil, it has a hold on us.  In fact, the image of "eating" or "tasting" forbidden fruit is exactly right:  whatever we eat enters into us and becomes part of us.  We cannot "undo" it because the experience is now part of our DNA --- and, in fact, we unwittingly and unwillingly pass it on to the next generation as part of their inheritance from us.

The only remedy for the experience of evil that has become part of us is death; it is the only way to get rid of the part of us that would control us.  St. Paul calls it "the law of sin and death that rules over (our) members, overruling the law of God within our minds" (Romans 7).  Our only hope to be free of that "law of sin and death" is to be re-created, a "new creation," no longer bound by our taste or experience of evil.

To know Christ (Savior) Jesus to be made new, to have a new birth, freed from the law of sin and death that reigns in us.  It is to Know God -- that is, to experience God the Father --- and to know (experience) ourselves as children of God.

So, of course, then the question is, "How do we KNOW Jesus Christ?"  How do we EXPERIENCE Jesus as living in us, bringing us to new life (eternal life)?  How do we KNOW God?

Jesus Himself gives us the answer in Matthew 7 and Luke 11:  Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you....If you, then, ….know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?

The Holy Spirit is the key to knowing Jesus.  Jesus is the key to knowing the Father.  And knowing the Father...and Him who has been sent by the Father....is Eternal Life!

If we know nothing else in this life, our salvation depends upon knowing Jesus Christ --- not as a rabbi, not as a great teacher -- but as the Source and Wellspring in us of eternal life.  This is my prayer for my children, for my grandchildren, for my entire family, and for everyone I know  -- to know Christ Jesus and to taste the joy of eternal life, even now, in this lifetime and forever in heaven.

Who Do You Say That I Am?

(With Apologies to C.S. Lewis)

Recently someone said to me, "I believe in Jesus as a rabbi."  Because we were in the midst of another topic, I did not interrupt the conversation to say, "I'm sorry!" or "That's too bad."  And yet...the omission still haunts me.  I cannot think of anything more important to talk about, or any conversation more vital than this one.  

Every one of us has the right to be wrong or to be unenlightened on any topic, and still to be loved with our whole hearts and minds.  And this, it seems to me, is what we are saying to Jesus when we consider Him "a good man" or a worthy Rabbi:  I love you with my whole heart; no one has ever spoken as You have. Your words are spirit and truth, and I want to take them as the guide for my life.  But on this one aspect, You are mistaken.  You are not truly the Son of God come into the world.  You are a creature like the rest of us, and indeed, You and the Father will not come to dwell in us if we keep your words.

If Christ has not come to transform us by His Spirit, if He has no efficacy in us beyond His Words spoken 2000 years ago;  if it is up to us to listen to Him and to imitate Him, then we are beyond hopeless.  If the Jews could not keep the Law unto righteousness for 2000 years, how then should we think our goodness and strength is greater than theirs?  That might be the greatest arrogance of all!

As C.S. Lewis so brilliantly put it: Jesus did not give us that option -- to say that He was a good man, but mistaken in His belief that He was the Son of God.  Either He is within us today, doing the same mission given to Him by the Father --- healing, teaching, transforming us by the Spirit -- or He WAS simply another great teacher or rabbi in a long line of great teachers and rabbis.  Perhaps He was the greatest Prophet of all --- but He was still mistaken in His Divine Origin.

And why is that "too bad" if this is our belief?  Because then He has no power to transform us by His Presence in us.  His Resurrection Life in us is ineffective, and His Words in us have no power to effect what they say.  Like all men, we are the most hopeless of creatures, because then it is entirely up to us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and DO the things He said to us --- and if there is any truth in the world, it is simply that we have in ourselves no power to carry out the things we know we should do.

St. Paul said it well in Romans 7:  in my mind, I agree with the law, but in my body, the very thing I say I will do is the thing I do not do, and the thing I say I will not do is the thing I end up doing after all.  Unhappy man that I am!  Who will release me from the power of sin and death that reigns in my body?  ……..   Praise be to God, it has been done in me!  The Spirit of God has released me from the law of sin and death and put a new law in my members...the law of God!  Now I am a new creature, no longer subject to the law of sin and death.   (paraphrased and combined -- but read Romans 7 and 8).

If Jesus Christ is just a rabbi with wise words, He does not have the power today to make new creatures of us, capable of DOING the things of the Spirit and becoming sons of God, therefore making null and void all the words of the New Testament!  There is no Holy Spirit dwelling within us to overcome sin and death, and we are the most miserable of men, for our faith is founded upon our own power to make ourselves "good."  

O unhappy men that we are if Jesus is a Rabbi and not the Son of God!  

Learning to Pray

O my God, I do not know my right hand from my left,

nor do I know the end from the beginning.

I do not know how to pray to You,

You, the Alpha and the Omega--

the Beginning and the End of all Truth,

of all Creation.

But I trust

That You, the Incarnate Word,

Who takes on flesh,

will train my mind and my will

to know You and to choose You 

above all else.

No one has ever seen God,

but His Word was made flesh and dwelt among us

that we might see His Glory and understand

the Incomprehensible,

the Unknowable,

the Holy and Pure of Spirit.

He has made known to us

the Invisible Godhead

because He is the Exact Image

of the Invisible God.

And He will continue to make known to us

the Love of the Father,

Who speaks in us

His Son,

and Who breathes in us

His Spirit.

The Sacramental Life

"Coffee is not a vice; it is a sign that God loves us!"  

A few years ago, I ended up in the emergency room with chest pains. In talking to the young intern, I told him that coffee was my greatest vice -- and he immediately replied with the words above.  I have often looked back with laughter on his remark, but also with reflection on all the "signs" that God loves us.  

Of course, Jesus Christ Himself is THE GREAT SIGN of God's love for the human race.  He was so passionate about being "with us" (Emmanuel) that He took on human form to walk amongst us, to sit at table with us, to get in the boat with us, to heal, to teach, to console and comfort, to ensure that we would never be alone.  He is the great Sacrament of God's love -- not just a sign, but a visible reality of invisible grace.

We live in a world of sacraments -- signs that God loves us and cares for us.  The world itself is a sacrament in this sense: the breeze rippling across the waters; the sun coming up each day, the trees that clean our air and provide shade from the heat of the day.....   As the children of Israel escaped from Egypt and moved across the desert, God provided for them a "pillar of fire by night and a cloud by day"  -- both sacraments or signs of his love, as the fire overcame the chill of the desert at night and the cloud protected them from the blistering sun by day.

And we, too, if we are children of God, are sacraments to one another, providing shelter from the cruel winds of loneliness and isolation; food to the hungry; comfort to the sorrowing; friendship to the forgotten prisoner.  God is extending His passionate love for mankind through the sacrament of our lives.  St. Francis prayed, "Lord, make me a channel of your peace....."    In order for us to be channels of peace, signs of God's love, we must first know His love for us.  Only then can we escape the Egypt of our own slavery to sin and isolation and become signs of God's love to the world.

God said to Abraham: I will bless you and you will be a blessing -- not only to his own family (it always starts there), but to his nation and to all peoples of the world.   Abraham's life is a blessing extended throughout the ages to all faiths and peoples.  But following him is a whole host of those whose lives are blessings -- all the patriarchs of Israel, all the prophets and leaders of the nation, whose passion for peace and justice prepared the way for the Savior.  And after Him, His Spirit fills the earth in all those whose lives have become sacraments, or "signs that God loves us."  

The lives of the saints, the great mystics, philosophers, and theologians; the artists and musicians, the ones who feed the hungry and die as martyrs for righteousness, politicians and lawyers, teachers and parents --- all signs that "God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that those who believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  

The Catholic church embodies a procession of Seven Sacraments -- formal signposts on our journey through life:  Baptism, Confirmation, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Holy Orders, Matrimony, and Sacrament of the Sick.  These formal Sacraments are designed to form us into living sacraments, or channels of God's grace to a hurting world.  These are stops along the way, where we can pause and hear the very words of God to us:  I will bless you and you will be a blessing!  

Abraham heard these words once -- at the beginning of his journey to the Promised Land.  But though the words were said only once,  the blessings continued day by day along the way -- through sin and obedience -- until they were fulfilled.  And we too, hear the words only once, twice, six or seven times throughout our lives -- but the blessings are continuous as we live out the nearness of Jesus Christ in our lives.  If we are truly blessed by the continuous presence and aid of God on our journey, we too will eventually become signs/ sacraments of God's love poured out on a hurting world.