As we grow stronger, smarter, more wise, and less dependent upon our parents, the relationship must change. If it does not, something is wrong. As adults, it seems to me that we love and respect our parents because they have given us so much from their own resources. We are no longer bound to obey them, but now we might have to give back from our own resources some of what they have given to us. This is what I believe Jesus meant by "honor your father and mother." In other words, don't cast them off in your pride of independence, but take care of them as they become less strong, less smart, less wise, and more dependent.
As religious "children," we too have obligations toward God because we are children and not very wise in the ways of the spiritual world. We need to be protected from the forces of evil that constantly threaten to suck up our souls and destroy us. As we grow stronger spiritually, we grow more like God, understanding the forces of good and evil, just as was promised by the snake in the garden -- but we understand and grow strong because of spiritual wisdom, not disobedience and taking our own way.
As we grow in love, we grow more "like God," and we "give back to Him" not because of obligation but because we "honor" Him as our Source and as our life. Today's reading from God Calling 2 puts it this way:
How human, how earth-bound, are the thoughts man has of God. He judges of Me and My Father by his own frail impulses and feelings.
There is in Divine Love no compulsion of duty from the loved one to the Lover.
Love draws, certainly, and then love longs to serve and to express one's love.
But no question of duty in return for the Love.
World religions have all passed through a 'childhood' of duty and obligations, even from before the Ten Commandments were given on Mt. Sinai. Some religions are still steeped in obligation and threat of punishment as their main focus and purpose. Jesus condemned the Scribes for laying heavy burdens on men and "lifting not a finger to help them." But His purpose and focus was not more duty, but lifting the burdens from our backs. He came to set us free; by His Truth, we are set free -- from fear of all kind, which is a form of slavery: no fear of hell, no fear of condemnation or rejection, no fear of men's judgment --- the followers of Jesus have been accepted and "set upon a lampstand to give light to all in the household."
Jesus even went so far as to call His followers, "friends, not servants." If fear is still an element in our religious practice, we do not know Jesus. If we cannot approach God as Friend Par Excellence, we are still children in the Spirit. This approach does not lessen the greatness of God, but speaks of His great humility and love for us. If any one of us approaches someone in fear, we do not truly love the other. We may fear losing the love of the other; we may fear that they will be disgusted with us; we may fear not living up to their generosity; we may fear failing them in their love for us --- but we are not thereby "obligated" to serve them. We just want to return to them without fail all they have given to us, and we are happy to serve them in any way we can. We want to be with the other in relationship, and we do not want that relationship to grow cold.
It seems to me that as religions treat God, they also treat one another. Those still based on servile fear keep their followers in a state of childhood, of 'servanthood.' Men keep their wives subject to them in fear, and never consider their wives as "friends." Those who do not follow the rules are "shunned," outcast, punished.
No wonder Jesus had to walk among us. Without Him, we could never dare to grow up in our relationship with God, but would remain forever servile children.
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