Called to Serve

A new commandment I give to you....love one another as I have loved you

 

You call me "Lord and Teacher, and rightly so....now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should also wash one another's feet (Jn. 13).

 

The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve.

 

As we live from moment to moment in our daily lives, it is difficult for us to maintain the idea that we live to serve others.  Our lives are naturally focused on what we need at the moment: a hug, a drink, something to eat, a place to get away from it all, etc.  We are self-centered by nature; the world does, in fact, revolve around me and my needs.  This is the human condition.

 

If we are married, we need the support, the affirmation, the unconditional love of our partner to meet our needs.  It is hard for us to get out of that mindset to consider ourselves servants of the other, to consider first what the other person needs from us.

 

For some reason, this morning I was thinking about my experience of tutoring children.  When I walk into that room, I am absolutely and totally at their service.  I am not even at that moment "the teacher" who has her own needs to cover a certain amount of material before the end of the day or the end of the semester.  For this one hour, I am present as a knowledgable and understanding servant:  what do you need from me right now? 

 

When the child arrives, my first task is to assess what he or she needs from me at the moment.  Sometimes, I see immediately that the child is not feeling well -- that she is tired from the school day, that she has a headache, or just needs to vent from some emotional trauma that is blocking her ability to learn.  Other times, the child arrives energized, ready to get her homework completed so that both she and her mother can go home and relax after a long day.  And there are times when the child comes to me frustrated because he has not been able to learn in the classroom what he needs to understand about the subject. 

 

Whatever the condition of the child at the moment is what dictates my response -- my "service."  I can have no agenda of my own to carry out: if she needs to talk, I need to listen; if he needs to understand, I need to explain; if the child is not feeling well, I need to take charge of the situation so the child can depend on me and rest. 

 

Sometimes my "service" means exercising authority.  If a child is too hyperactive to remain in control of himself, I need to find ways to allow him to let off steam in appropriate ways.  Sometimes I need to channel his activity in productive ways -- like walking around the room, bouncing a ball, and reciting his times tables.  Sometimes I need to teach him how to focus his mind on the task at hand so that he can feel in control and can feel successful as a student.

 

So "service" takes different forms; it does not mean letting the other take charge and command that we serve.  Sometimes it means that we take charge as part of our service.  But here's the key: "service" is based on the real needs of the other person, not on our own.  When I come to serve as a tutor, it does not matter whether I have not eaten lunch and am really hungry.  It does not matter that I am very hot and "need" a cold drink.  It does not matter that I got up at 3:00 a.m. and could use a nap right now.  All that matters is that I am there to serve the child in front of me.

 

Thinking about my experience as a tutor really helps me see what I am called to do in the rest of my life.  If someone needs to talk, I need to listen.  If someone needs assurance, or comfort, or a good meal, I am called to reassure, comfort, or cook.  If someone needs me to take charge, or to exercise authority, I need to be a leader, a teacher, or a parent.  Our role changes according to the needs of the other person.

 

Very few of us can really "get there" as servants because of our own deep needs and discomforts -- even our pain. We are blind and deaf to the needs of the other because our own needs are too great. Only when we allow Our Father in heaven, through the real ministry and service of His Son, Jesus, to carry our own burdens through the Holy Spirit, will we be free to serve others.  Someone has to be a servant to me before I can serve others, or I will be crushed by my own pain and conflicts.  Someone must lift the burden from my shoulders, and the rod from my back, and the pain from my heart before I can learn to be open to the needs of the world around me. 

 

Fortunately, God has sent His Son, not to condemn me for the pain I bear (though it may have been self-inflicted), but to "seek and to serve" those in pain.  He seeks us out to bear our burdens, to "take up all the causes of our lives," to free us from the slavery of sin and self-centeredness.  Then and only then can we in turn become the servants of all, as He asks us to do.