Why Weeds?

As a gardener, I often think how much easier it would be if I could just plant a garden and then enjoy it, without having to constantly be on the alert for the weeds which threaten to overtake and suffocate the fragile plants.  Years ago, however, I read that weeds help the plant roots go deeper than they could go on their own. 

Now that's a life-lesson:  the very things that threaten to overwhelm us also help us push our roots deeper into the soil/soul of our existence.  It is when we "don't know what to do" that we find deeper ground---or we die.  It is a matter of life or death.

When my children were very small, I felt overwhelmed by the things I did not seem to be able to manage--cooking, cleaning, laundry, "covering the bases" every day.  No matter which way I turned, I saw only failure.  Every day, I was forced to see the things I could not manage, my own inadequacies: unmade beds, unclean house, undone laundry, crying children, not having any idea what we would eat for dinner that day.  Focusing on the "weeds" of my life made it impossible for me to see and appreciate the gifts of each day.  I felt that if I could only get my life under control, things would be better.

Finally, the weeds did completely overwhelm my little garden, and I "gave up" the fight.  Exhausted by the constant effort and lack of sleep, I found that I could not stop crying for days.  I thought I needed a psychiatrist, but instead went to the Cenacle for three days of prayer and rest.  The day I was to return home, I was awakened by a bird perched on my window-sill singing and singing and singing.  I went to the window to see a beautiful red cardinal singing its little heart out. 

That, for me, became a moment of absolute grace.  I realized then that I did not have to solve all the problems, that I did not have to be super-mom, or super-woman.  All I had to do was to get up each morning and sing.  How simple, even for a person who does not have a musical bone in her body! 

I began to realize that if I "sang" each day, the weeds would not be all I saw, the most important things in my life.  In this case, the weeds that threatened me on a daily basis forced me to find a deeper truth---that I could not "manage" anything at all, but that in letting go of my control and singing, I could rely on God instead.

To this day, when I see a cardinal outside my window, I am reminded of who is in control of my life---and I "sing" in thanksgiving that He is able to handle all the weeds of my life.