My Peace I Give to You....

every situation is clarified through being related to Him...

von Balthasar, Prayer, p. 156

Recently, I was listening on the radio to a couple who were talking about their marriage relationship.  What struck me as they spoke was that both people were primarily related to God first, and that primal relationship determined their relationship to one another.  They did not "say" as much, but what they did say made it obvious that God Himself was the center, and that His wisdom, love, and compassion ruled their lives.

The man talked first about their honeymoon, how excited he was to be spending unlimited time with his wife, how wonderful he expected the experience to be.  But after swimming one day, the wife stood in front of the mirror and began to criticize her appearance, which made him very uncomfortable.  He did not know what to say or do, and felt impatient toward her.  "God," he said, "You've got to give me something here, because I don't know what to do." 

Suddenly, he got up from the bed and walked over to his wife, putting his arms around her.  "I want you to see yourself through the mirror of my eyes," he said.  "If I have to break every mirror in the house, I want to be the only mirror through which you will ever see yourself."  He said he immediately felt a change in her at that moment, and he realized that God had given him just the right thing to say and do.

The Book of James says this: if anyone does not know what to do, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (1:5).

God has promised to be the Senior Partner in the enterprise of our lives, but so few of us consult the Senior Partner before making decisions.  We just go ahead and do whatever we think best at the moment.  But our thinking is often clouded by feelings of fear, impatience, helplessness, etc.  We seldom have the clarity we need, especially when someone we love is upset or threatened, or even worse, when we ourselves are upset or threatened. 

This man's quick prayer--  God, you have to give me something here, because I don't know what to do--brought instant clarity and wisdom.  How much grief we could save ourselves by being primarily related to God and secondarily related to those around us.  Then our peace would flow from Him, and we would not place the burden of our joy on those we love.  It is when we expect "the other" to make us happy that we are disappointed in our relationships.  But the truth is that our partners have their own baggage; it is not within their power to satisfy our deepest needs and longings.

If God is the Source of our peace and joy, we can never be disappointed, bored, or spiritually depleted.  His resources are infinite, and He does not mind sharing them with those who ask.