What Happened to Me?

I don't know Who or What put the question;

I don't even know when it was put.  I don't even remember answering. 

But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone (or Something)

and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, therefore, my life, in self-surrender, has a goal.

                                    Dag Hammarskjold, 20th C. Swedish diplomat,

                                           Secretary-General of the United Nations:1953-1960

At some moment in our lives, like Mary, we become aware of a Presence outside of ourselves, a Presence asking us for surrender.  Like Dag Hammarskjold, we may not be able to put our finger on the exact moment or the exact question, but we are aware that we have surrendered and that from that time, our life has a purpose and a direction that is guided by Someone other than ourselves.

One test of a genuine spiritual experience resides in the outcome:  good comes out of an authentic experience.  No longer are our lives narrowly focused on what we can gain, but now on rather what we can give.  Sirach 24 describes the direction, or flow, of a genuine spiritual experience when it describes the gift of wisdom:

The first man never finished comprehending wisdom,

nor will the last succeed in fathoming her.

For deeper than the sea are her thoughts;

her counsels, than the great abyss.

Now I, like a rivulet from her stream,

channeling the waters into a garden,

Said to myself, "I will water my plants,

my flower bed, I will drench;"

And suddenly, this rivulet of mine became a river,

then this stream of mine, a sea.

Thus do I send my teachings forth shining like the dawn,

to become known far off.

Thus do I pour out instruction like prophecy

and bestow it on generations to come.

Most of us want our lives to count for something, to have direction and purpose.  We want to leave an inheritance to the next generation, a memorial that sums up our own wisdom and meaning in life.  According to the biblical writer, "soaking up" wisdom is the beginning of sending for a river of blessing to others. 

Prayer is the beginning of love and service.  Catherine of Siena (1340-1444) spent three years in prayer before going out to nurse the poor, preach in public, and counsel the Pope.  Teresa of Avila was a contemplative nun who founded sixteen reformed convents, and John of the Cross wrote breathtaking poetry out of his experience of prayer.

Like Dag Hammarskjold, there is an interior shift in all of us which then gives direction and meaning to the rest of our lives.  We may not know the moment that shift occurred, but afterwards, we see that it has occurred and that from that time, everything was different.