At the moment of creation, God surveyed all that He had made and pronounced it "very good." Each thing was "good" in itself, but the whole of creation in balance and relationship to one another was seen as "very good"(Gen. 1:31).
The one thing that God saw as Not Good was for man to be alone (Gen. 2). Though Adam was lord of the universe, he was lonely. Though all the animals came to him, he was lonely, and God allowed him to experience his loneliness in order to know that for which he was made -- relationship and companionship.
God Himself is a communion of Persons. From the poetry of Genesis 1, we know that the phrase "in the image of God" created He him actually refers to "male and female." From the Theology of the Body taught by John Paul II, we understand that our very bodies teach us that we were not made to be alone. We are made for the purpose of communion. We want to know and to be known, to love and be loved.
We are not just bodies; man has an interior life that needs to be inhabited. We speak about the "soul," but what exactly is the soul of man? It is made up of the mind, the heart/emotions, and the will. All of us, whether we see it or not, want "the other person" in our lives to see and understand the ways we think, the things we love, and what we most desire. And we want the other, in seeing us, to say, "It is good that you are here!"
St. Augustine taught that the three "goods" of marriage are grace, children, and friendship. No one will ever have your back as much as your spouse, in an ideal marriage -- because your partner sees your mind, heart, and will and is willing to sacrifice him/herself to sustain, nurture, and grow the person you are at your core.
In the same way, C. S. Lewis describes friendship:
In a perfect friendship...each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest, Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions; when four or five of us after a hard day's walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread out toward the blaze and our drinks at our elbows; when the whole world and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are freemen and equals as if we had first met an hour ago, while at the same time an affection mellowed by the years enfolds us. Life ---natural life--- has no better gift to give. Who could have deserved it?
And C.S. Lewis found his love mate, so late, so improbably, and children too, -in his donnish middle age. This passage doesn't mention parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or siblings. The extended family are certainly a force in our formation and maintainance. The Tribal nature of the Old Testament is broken into kinship of like minds, in the New, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteOf course Augustine was speaking only about marriage. Is Romantic Love not considered a Good of marriage? It is certainly an impetus. Secular society doesn't seem to value children as a good, but it hypes and monetizes a vision of Romantic Love. It monetizes friendship ties, but of Grace: nothing is said, understood, known!
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