This One Thing

One thing that always draws me to God is His utter simplicity.  Where I tend to complicate and confuse, He utters One Word that simplifies, clarifies, and brings light.  As at the beginning, He still speaks, Light! Be!  And it was as He had said. 

The first time I experienced the utter simplicity of God was after my third child was born.  For a few months, I thought I was coping with the needs of a husband, a four-year old, a two-year old, and an infant.  But the lack of sleep, the inability to get the beds made every day, the diapers washed, and the meals cooked eventually caught up with me.  Everywhere I turned, I met a sense of overwhelming failure and inability to cope.  Someone was always crying; someone was always being neglected. Not only did I not know how to cook; I didn't know how to plan ahead for meals, so there was always a sense of panic:  What are we going to eat today?  Do I have the ingredients? Is there time to prepare that meal?  

Little by little, I was overcome, losing confidence that I could solve the problems of each day.  As a natural problem solver, I was done in.  Finally, the day came that I called my husband at work:  "I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't stop crying," I said.  At that moment, I remembered a friend of mine telling me that when her life had fallen to pieces, there was someone at the Cenacle who "helped me glue back the pieces of my life."  (The Cenacle was a local retreat house in New Orleans run by a group of nuns who were trained as counselors.)

I called the Cenacle and was told there was no retreat that weekend, but that I was welcome to come spend a few days with them.  My husband took off a few days from work, and I went to the Cenacle.  It was there that the nun asked me, "Who is God to you?"  I have written about my answer a few days ago.  The morning I was preparing to leave the Cenacle, as I packed my bag, I heard a bird singing and singing and singing.  Turning to face the window, I saw a beautiful cardinal perched on the ledge of my window, singing its heart out.  All of a sudden, the thought went through my entire being: You don't have to solve all the problems; you just have to get up each morning and sing!

At that moment, I realized that I had been thinking that I would go back to the same situation, where I once again would be unable to cope with sick children, sleepless nights, uncooked meals, and dirty diapers.  And yet.....God's answer was utterly simple.  He was not changing the situation; He was about to change my response to it!  I started laughing at my too-serious attitude to what I could not do each day.  I wanted to be, if not "perfect," at least "capable" and in control of the situation.  Little by little, I relinquished my need to be on top of what I could not control.   I learned to sing --- not in tune, I grant you -- but I gradually learned to not care about how badly I sang. 

From that day, I learned to watch for cardinals, who always remind me that I'm not in charge and that things are never as serious as I make them out to be.  Throughout all of Scripture, God's words and His commands are utterly simple:  Leave your father and mother and go to the land I will show you!  The Ten Commandments are actually in Hebrew just "Ten Words."  God's command to Peter was, What I have cleansed, do not thou call unclean! (Acts 10).

Jesus' words were so simple -- The work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent! (John 6).  We want to make things complicated, but when God speaks to our situations, He makes things utterly simple.