"I Am Not a Sinner"

I have heard that in ancient Egypt, during the times of the pyramids, that the Pharaohs would be entombed with something called The Book of the Dead or otherwise The Book of the Great Awakening.  In this book were hundreds of "rules" or maxims that the soul would have to navigate at the last judgment before he could enter the abode of the dead -- something akin to the Elysian Fields concept of the Greeks.  These rules stood behind all of Egyptian civilization for hundreds of years.

Essentially, the soul of the dead would have to proclaim, "I have not sinned" before each one of these rules before he would be allowed to enter the Great Awakening.

I am quite sure that the Book of the Dead was probably a deterrent to bad behavior for the ancient Egyptians; I am not so sure that it serves such a useful purpose in today's society, where the fear of the Lord has gone somewhat out of favor among men.

While human nature would prefer to claim "I have not sinned" in regard to either Egyptian standards or those of the 10 Commandments, the truth is that "we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans).  The problem is being convinced in our innermost hearts that we ARE truly sinners.  There is always a "reason" (excuse) for our bad behaviors, for our not being the image and likeness of God.  While it is easy to acknowledge that we are not perfect, we don't really see ourselves as "sinners" either.  After all, we are not really as bad as "some people we know."

But Jesus told us the parable of the publican and the sinner.  The one who was justified was the one who stood at the back of the synagogue, hardly daring to lift his eyes to heaven: Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I have sinned.  The one who proclaimed "I am not that bad....I am not like this poor sinner in front of me...." went away not justified and not receiving mercy.  After all, he didn't really need it!

One of the first movements of grace in us is the realization of our sinfulness.  It is the office of the Holy Spirit to "convict the world of guilt in regard to sin..." (John 16).  And the awakening of our guilt comes along with the Presence of Jesus Christ in our souls. Peter's reaction to the Presence of the Lord was to say, "Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man!"

The closer the Lord comes to us, the more aware we become of our sinfulness.  On the surface, or before our "conversion," we tend to think we are "not so bad" because we are not robbing banks or molesting children.  We tend to our business, don't drink to excess, and obey traffic laws for the most part.  Little do we glimpse into the depths of our soul, where the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Holiness, dwells. Once we begin to enter into the inner sanctuary, we begin to see who we really are, in the eyes of God --- eternally beloved, but also irremediably stained and crippled by sin.

I love, love, love the 7th and 8th chapter of Romans, where Paul says, "I don't understand myself at all -- the very thing I say I will not do is the very thing I end up doing.  And the thing I say I will do is the very thing I end up not doing.....unhappy man that I am!  I am essentially flawed at the core of my being!  (complete and unabashed paraphrase here).  

But there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.  The Law of the Spirit of Life has set me free from the law of sin and death!

Before the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, we were ALL under the law of sin and death.  But now His own power works daily in us to overcome our sinful natures!  Thanks be to God when we can finally begin to see how sinful we are --- it means that the Holy Spirit is awakening us to the power of the Resurrected Christ to overcome death in our souls!