We do not normally "live" our "beliefs," or "statements" about our spouses or our friends. That is, we do not usually think on a day-to-day basis about what we "believe" about the relationship in terms of doctrine or statements. We just encounter each day the living person and enter into the other person's mind and heart: What is he/she thinking today? How is he/she communicating with me today? What does the other want today? How do I respond to what is going on in the other person today?
Our relationships are histories, and they are stories. We become comfortable in good relationships because of what has gone before; we become more and more uncomfortable in bad relationships because of past history and past stories, which become our present realities. When too many bad stories pile up, it is more and more difficult for us to react in a positive way to the present reality; we remember everything that has gone before, and we expect the same pattern to continue today. We are scarred by our histories and by our stories. And they prevent us from loving and enjoying the relationship today.
In good relationships, the opposite is true. If our partner, our friend, is consistently gentle, loving, and kind, we no longer fear doing the wrong thing. In fact, we assume that we will probably screw things up on a regular basis, but we can relax and laugh about just one more example of lost keys, forgotten facts, etc. We know our partner, friend, knows who we are and accepts that we are not perfect. He/she enjoys who we are, not waiting for us to be "finished," polished.
Too many people think that relationship with God consists of statements of belief about who God is and what He wants/ expects from us. But biblical faith is always portrayed as a story -- a story about someone who began in darkness, confusion, idolatry, ignorance, pain, etc. and who was directed by God on a journey toward light, peace, goodness, prosperity, wholeness, and reconciliation. Faith begins with God's call to "Come," just as Jesus said to Thomas. "Come out of unbelief into reality, into truth, into an unimaginable relationship!"
God does not expect from us what we cannot give to Him. He wants only a response from us when He speaks, when He calls us forth out of darkness, out of pain, out of confusion and helplessness. "Come to Me," He says. "You have been the god of your own fantasy of the future, and it has brought you worry and pain. Walk with Me into the future I have planned for you. You will not know or understand where we are going; you will have to trust that I know and that I will never leave or abandon you. You do not have to 'believe' anything about Me. You will come to know Me on the journey as we walk together, sit together, stand together against all that threatens you.
Will you come with Me into your future?"
This relationship of faith is a marriage. If we will not enter into union with God, we will never know who He is, and we will never laugh with Him, love Him, tease Him, speak with Him, or find our way into His inner heart. If we have no history with Him, no stories with Him, no journey with Him, we will have no faith in Him, no matter how many 'doctrines' or beliefs about Him we care to pile up along the way.
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