In Miracles, published in 1947, C.S.Lewis tells of the first step from atheism and materialism toward Christianity.  It happened while he was riding a bus in Oxford, but the event was not related to anything that happened externally.  He felt as if suddenly a door appeared before him that he could push open, or leave shut.  He chose in that moment to go through the door, and it felt to him that he was shedding his skin of harsh clothes, like a cumbersome suit of armor.  In that moment, he experienced a kind of freedom he had never before felt.  He had made a choice demanded by his deepest nature, yet it was the freest choice he had ever made.

Shortly after that, Lewis knelt for the first time in his life and prayed to his unknown God, describing himself as the "most reluctant convert in all of England."  At that time, God was barely, if at all, personal to him, but later, he was to confess:

I never had the experience of looking for God.  It was the other way round; He was the hunter (or so it seemed to me), and I was the deer.  He stalked me like a redskin, took unerring aim, and fired.  And I am very thankful that that is how the first (conscious) meeting occurred.  It forearms one against subsequent fears that the whole thing was only wish fulfillment.  Something one didn't wish for can hardly be that."

I think Lewis' experience is more common than we imagine.  Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote a book called God in Search of Man, in which he says the same thing about the Jewish people that Lewis reported about himself --- God was the One in search of companionship, not the other way around.  And if we look carefully at the stories in the Old Testament, we do see a kind of "Hey, you!" initiative on God's part. 

He called Abraham; He told Abraham that his destiny was to be "Father of Many Nations."  He called Moses, and told him his destiny was to free the Israelites from Egypt.  He named the prophets before birth and would not take His hand from them until they fulfilled the purpose for which they were sent. 

None of these men could have been accused of "wishful thinking."  They were as reluctant a bunch as you'll ever meet -- outside of the 12 Apostles, maybe.  The history keeps repeating itself again and again in all the saints of the church.  They are called to their destinies by a power beyond themselves. 

Something to think about.          

I will be traveling until June 15.