"You"

Back in the early 80's, after I had been in the Charismatic Movement for a few years, and had even been co-leading the group, I entered into a period of extreme quiet in my soul.  At first, I was confused by the change:  I found that I could no longer read the Bible, which I had been devouring daily since 1977.  I could no longer really "pray" the way I had learned to pray.  And the Lord seemed to be moving me out of active leadership of the group.  Looking back on it now, I can see how He was preparing me for something else, but at the time, I did not understand what was happening at all. 

Sometime during that period, I saw a very clear image of a bubbling brook (narrow and shallow, moving along the rocks, happily singing) that quite suddenly dropped into a small hole in the ground and then dropped about a hundred feet into a dark cave until it reached a deep, still, underground pool.  I saw that the brook represented my soul, and then I also saw myself sitting quietly beside the pool, in the dark cave, lighted only by the small opening in the ground through which the brook had dropped.  Now, instead of being troubled and confused by my lack of activity, I felt very content to stay beside the deep pool, and just to sit without knowing when I would leave the cave.  My soul grew very still within me.

For the next 8 months, as I recall now, there were only 3 prayers which I could really pray:  The Our Father, which I prayed very, very slowly, phrase by phrase; The Sinner's Prayer [Jesus, Son of David, be merciful to me, a sinner], and a mysterious third prayer: "You!"   That's all there was to the third prayer -- "You!" -- and yet it satisfied my soul entirely, completely, totally -- more than any prayer I have ever prayed before or since. 

"You!"  Even today, when I pray that prayer, I need nothing else.  I need to say nothing else.  That is all and everything I need, and I am still.  What a gift I was given in that prayer!  "You!"

During the time I stayed in the cave, I learned a deep and quiet peace and joy.  I learned that I needed nothing else.  During all of that time, I discovered that I could not read my Bible, though I could and did hold it on my lap or against my chest.  I seemed to be absorbing it, not by reading, but by osmosis.  Whenever I would try to read it  -- at first, I thought it was laziness that was keeping me from reading -- it was as though I could not absorb the words from the page.  In fact, I could hardly even see them. The words could have been the telephone book, meaningless because I didn't know what they referred to.

Then, one day, as I tried to discipline myself to read, the Lord spoke to me:  Let Me feed you! Suddenly, I understood.  Up to then, I had been feeding myself, choosing for myself the words (or menu) I would eat for the day.  Now, he wanted me to relinquish control; He Himself wanted to choose my diet for the day.  Once I let go and submitted to His direction and choice for me, I found Scriptures would come to me softly, and they would lead me in directions I would not have thought of. 

"The School of the Holy Spirit!"  All we need to do is show up.  He has planned the lesson for the day.  He knows how to teach it.  Be still and know that I am God.

Today, I would not trade that cave experience for anything in the world.  It was there I truly learned the words of Zachariah:  Not by might, not by strength, but by My Spirit, says the Lord God of hosts.

You!  How much that prayer echoes the Name God gave to Moses:  I Am!