Inadequacy

What great freedom it is to know oneself wholly inadequate for the task of life---but also to know the One Who "does all things well!"

Brother Andrew's (Practice of the the Presence of God) spirituality was a calm acceptance of his humanity -- his natural tendency to fail, unless he was upheld at all times by the supporting Presence of God.  It is okay not to be "enough," or "adequate" if we cast our cares on the Lord, Who is with us at every moment.  Even at my very best, I am not equal to the task that needs addressing at this moment.  I can only rely on the provision and Providence of God to guide, lead, support, and sustain me in every circumstance.

The "Gifts of the Holy Spirit" are those listed in Is. 11: wisdom, understanding, counsel, power, knowledge, fortitude, and fear of the Lord.  These gifts are given to us to overcome our own lack of wisdom, lack of understanding, lack of power and knowledge, lack of fortitude, and lack of fear of the Lord.  The wonderful thing about true Christianity is the assumption that we need "saving" because we are not in ourselves "like gods," but only flesh and blood.  We do not have in ourselves what we need, but we do have a "Helper," as Jesus referred to the Holy Spirit He would send to us.

This is our confidence---not that we are adequate in ourselves, but that God cares for us, and will supply everything we need for life and holiness, as Peter says in his letter.

When my children were small, I lived with a constant sense of failure, of my inablity to cover the bases.  As someone who grew up with confidence in myself to do almost anything, it was a sobering time in my life:  beds were unmade; house was not clean; meals were hastily and poorly thrown together; babies were crying.  Everywhere I turned, I was faced with my own inability to cope.  I was discouraged and maybe even depressed.

But the experience brought me face to face with the God, who "took me by my right hand," as Isaiah puts it.  He transformed my lack of confidence in myself to wholly relying on Him to sustain me and hold me.  Now I can "laugh at the days to come," because my hope is in Him, Who has shown Himself again and again to be entirely faithful and trustworthy, as One Who can provide, sustain, "be there" at the time of trouble or when help is needed.  Now that I know -- have experienced-- the One of whom the Scriptures speak, I am no longer disturbed by my own inadequacy.  Instead, I shout for joy, knowing that He 'will uphold all those who fall and lift up all who are bowed down" (Ps. 145).

Even David, who had the confidence to slay Goliath, had to learn from his years of hiding in caves that God would provide for him and raise him up once again.  Only David, having gone through this terrible experience, could have written 150 Psalms of praise and thanksgiving!