Mary and Martha; Peter and John

Reading the story of the sisters Mary and Martha in the Gospels usually promotes an almost instinctive reaction, at least among the women I know---the reaction that Mary, indeed, "should have been" helping Martha get dinner on the table.

The problem with our human instinct/ reaction to this story is that it is just wrong, and when multiplied over and over throughout the ages, keeps causing the same kinds of angst that Martha voiced to Jesus:  tell her to help me!

There is a classic book on the spiritual life called Abandonment to Divine Providence, written by Jean Pierre de Caussade in the 18th century.  I was reminded of it recently by reading about Flannery O'Conner, who seemed to live out in her life the message of de Caussade.  She did not really want to return home to live with her mother on a pig farm in Milledgeville, Georgia, the backwoods/redneck area of the country, but her lupus eventually gave her no choice, and she accepted her physical and geographical conditions with humor and grace.  She gave herself entirely to her writing, editing and re-editing in order to present to God her very best, then leaving it up to Him what He chose to do with it.  She once said, "I write because I do it well," accepting from God the gift He gave her and accepting the fact that the gift was hers to hone as well as she could.

Knowing that O'Conner had read de Caussade drove me to return to this book I had read about 40 years ago; I remembered loving it at the time.  On beginning to re-read, I find myself once again loving its simple and almost "homely" approach to the spiritual life as abandoning oneself to the conditions of life just as it presents itself moment by moment. 

I now realize that both Mary and Martha were doing in the moment what they had been inspired to do by the Presence of Jesus.  "He must be hungry," thought Martha; "I can do something about that---and I can do it well!"  She must have thought with pleasure about how satisfying it would be to feed Jesus and whoever was trailing along in His company.  Her talent and inspiration moved her into the kitchen.

Mary, on the other hand, who had no talent or inspiration in the kitchen, probably welcomed the chance to become for the moment a listener, sitting at the feet of one she loved beyond all measure to soak up some wisdom and inspiration. 

Martha's frustration came in the midst of the preparations, when she forgot her original inspiration and became burdened by Mary's seeming inactivity.  She took her eyes off her own motivation and began to grumble that Mary was not motivated to be in the kitchen with her.

We all tend to make judgments about what other people are doing---we all think that others should be doing what we think is important at the moment.  But de Caussade reminds us that the most important thing to do is only what God has given us in the circumstances of our lives.  We cannot look at or control what others are doing; we can only joyfully attend to God's plan for us in this moment.  Even in our own lives, we cannot wish to be doing something else right now, other than what we should be doing. 

I always resented the time I had to spend in the kitchen as less important than my other, more creative, and therefore for me, more enjoyable, pursuits---reading, thinking, gardening, painting, etc.  Slowly, gradually, I am learning that if it is time to put a meal on the table and if I am the only one in the house to do it, that that is the most important thing for me to do at that moment.  I cannot grumble about it; in submitting to "the will of God," I will (and am) find(ing) joy in the moment.

In My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers says this:  We have to keep letting go, and slowly and surely the great full life of God will invade us in every part, and men will take knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus.  I think that at the end of the day, if Martha had been able to "let go" of what her sister was doing, the glow on both of their faces might have told "men" that both of the women had "been with Jesus" that day.

After the Resurrection, Jesus appeared to the disciples on the shore of Galilee and revealed to Peter at that time the kind of death he was to undergo for the sake of his Lord.  Immediately, Peter looked over at John and said, "but what about him, Lord?"  Jesus' answer to Peter was, "If I want [John] to stay here until I come back, what business is that of yours?"  In his Gospel, John is quick to point out that Jesus did not say that John would remain here until the Lord returns, but only if I want him to remain here....

In other words, what other people are doing is not our concern if only we ourselves are doing what we are "told" to do by the will of God in our lives and in our inspirations.  Mary said to the servants at Cana:  Do whatever He tells you.  And what He told them to do was not what He was later to tell His disciples to do---go into the whole world, baptizing.....and teaching....

deCaussade points out that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph all had objectively different roles to fulfill, and that each one "achieved sanctity" by perfectly fulfilling the role he/she had been given by the providence of God.  That's probably worth thinking about.