Every day, we live our relationships with one another, principally with our spouses. If someone were to ask us to describe the relationship we have with our spouse, we might attempt to find words for the relationship that makes up a marriage. We might want to say what we "believe" about our marriage, about those things on which it is founded. But those words would not be the relationship itself; the words we choose would not really convey the emotional content of the lived day-to-day dynamic of our daily lives. Each day, each exchange, each meal together either strengthens or weakens the bond between us.
In my 20s and 30s, I would hear sermons about the importance of faith, and I would think to myself, "I wish someone would tell me what faith really is, or how to increase my faith." I would think about Jesus' words, "If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mountain, 'Cast yourself into the sea, and it would obey you'." And of course, I knew that I did not have this kind of faith---but then I was stuck, because I did not know where to go from there.
The practice of our religion does not necessarily mean that we have a living relationship with the Son of God, although it certainly prepares the way and opens the door to that relationship. Looking back on my life, I now realize that God Himself has been inviting me into His inner chamber, into His heart, from the beginning. I see all the open doors He has invited me to walk through; I see all the wonderful people He has put into my life to pray for me, to walk with me, to teach me. And I see all the ways He has spoken to my heart along the way. He has been cultivating a relationship with me from the start. This is what Oswald Chambers says about our relationship with God:
The Son of God is born into me by the direct act of God;
then I as a child of God have to exercise the right of a child,
the right of being always face to face with my Father.
And this is what John says in the Gospel: But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God.
"Faith" -- or relationship-- is breathed into us by the Breath/Ruah/Spirit of God, Who places in our hearts His very own Son, just as He did with the first incarnation of His Son in the womb of the virgin. We must first receive His Gift to us, as Mary did with her "Be it done unto me according to your word." Then we must nurture that relationship, just as we do every other relationship in our lives, principally the one with our spouse. If someone were to ask what we "believe" about God, we may still be somewhat inarticulate about the relationship; we might not be able to accurately describe what is going on with us. But daily our "faith," or relationship, is growing through prayer, through living out the relationship with God we have been given. And that is what is most important.
I am not ready to cast a mountain into the sea, nor do I anticipate doing so in my lifetime, but I am ready to sing with Isaiah:
O Lord, you are my God'
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done marvelous things,
things planned long
You have been a refuge for the poor,
a refuge for the needy in his distress,
a shelter from the storm
and a shade from the heat...
The hand of the Lord will rest on this mountain...
He will bring down your high fortified walls
and lay them low;
he will bring them down to the ground,
to the very dust (Is. 25:vv 1, 4, 10, 12).
What do I believe? I believe that the Lord Himself will level mountains on my behalf because He has made with me an everlasting covenant. Psalm 112 says this about the man who "fears the Lord:" He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes (v.7-8). Now, that is probably one of the best descriptions of "faith" that we have. How do we get there? The same way the disciples did -- by walking daily with the Lord, by getting to know Him, by allowing Him to breathe His Spirit into us, not once, but always, by living with Him continuously until our hearts rest securely in His love.
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