The patient on opening his eyes gets little or no enjoyment; indeed, he finds the experience painful. He reports only a spinning mass of light and colors. he proves to be quiet unable to pick out objects by sight, to recognize what they are, or to name them. He has no conception of space with objects in it, although he knows all about objects and their names by touch....his brain has not been trained in the rules of seeing.
We did not know there were "rules of seeing," because our brain has been forming "maps" of objects, colors, and spatial relationships from the day we were born. We think we see clearly, but what we see is actually defined by our brain map. The person whose sight is awakened for the first time in his life has no "brain map" to define what he is seeing---it takes years for that map to form.
Spiritually, we also have "brain maps" that define what we "see" spiritually. Those brain maps have been formed by our past experience -- whether positive or traumatic. We think we "see clearly" into the spiritual life, but, in fact, it takes a "second touch" from Jesus before "our (spiritual) eyes are opened and we see clearly, not through the distortions of our (mostly negative) experiences.
Created in the image of God, the words we speak have the power to create, transform, or destroy worlds -- especially the worlds of as-yet-unformed children. Jesus said, "Woe to him who causes one of these little ones to sin; it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the sea!" That is a very, very strong statement from the mouth of a loving Savior---who came not to condemn man, but to save him.
Why is Jesus so strong in this instance? I think Jesus is saying that we have the power to change the world, the universe in which one of these "little ones" lives. For the rest of his or her life, that "little one" will see the world the ways our words or actions have defined it -- black or white, accepting or condemning, loving or hateful. Everything we see for the rest of our lives is defined by the 'brain map' formed in childhood.
A couple of days ago, I wrote about why we live beyond our years of biological fertility. I think one of the reasons we do is that we need to get beyond the productive and re-productive years in order to begin to "see clearly" what we have done -- and what has been done to us-- all our lives. But the lifting of the veil and the "second touch" is very painful to us. We have 'flashbacks' of the moments of our lives where we have sinned against others, or where others have sinned against us. For the first time, we see the distortions of our own spirits -- what the blind man described as "men like trees walking around" -- and it hurts. We see our own sins, the worlds we have created by our vicious or just thoughtless words to others, especially children-- and indeed, it would be better for us if a millstone had been hung around our necks before we had created those worlds in which others had to live for the rest of their lives!
Ron Rolheiser says maybe this is "Purgatory:" seeing clearly for the first time the damage that we did to others. But he also says, Isn't hope an anchoring of ourselves in something beyond what we can control and guarantee for ourselves? He says that maybe what the Catholic church has always called "Purgatory" is not God punishing us for our sins, but rather "being embraced by God in such a way that His love and light so dwarf our earthly concepts of love and knowledge that, like a person born blind who is given sight, we have to struggle painfully in the very ecstasy of that light to unlearn and relearn virtually our entire way of thinking and loving?"
Rolheiser's concept of Purgatory resonates with me, because as I grow beyond the years of working and raising children and have time to reflect, I am experiencing the painful awareness of the worlds my words and actions have created for my own children and for others who have been hurt by my thoughtlessness and self-centeredness. It is painful to "see clearly for the first time." But it would be even more painful beyond the grave to see and to know that without redemption, without the "new heavens and the new earth" promised by God, the worlds I created by my words and actions will live forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment