The Ascension

I have much more to say to you, but you cannot bear it now.  But when He, the Spirit of Truth arrives, He will teach you all truth.

When I was 17, I did not want to be 18.  I knew what 18 meant -- the end of high school, life as I knew it then:  boys, parties, fun, friends, school (yes, I even loved algebra; history, not so much).  I did not want to face what I knew would be ahead--taking responsibility for the next step on my own, not just "going along" with whatever teachers or friends proposed for me.  I did not want to have to think about which college to attend, how to get there, or what to study when I did get there. 

Because I had never experienced "the next step," I feared it -- and I certainly did not want to leave behind all that I had gathered up of my previous experience.  I could not let it go; it was all too precious to me!  The day of my senior prom, I had my hair done ("up," not the way I usually wore it of course), I borrowed my neighbor's expensive crystal jewelry (not something in my dresser drawer), I put on a dress that had been especially made for the occasion, and I looked in the mirror.  Suddenly, I knew -- I just knew -- that was the end of my childhood.  And I burst into tears.  I did not want the "adult" life I saw in the mirror.  I still wanted the child I had been:  carefree, no thinking about tomorrow, no stress.  If my life could have stopped that day, I would have been happy forever -- I thought.

What I could not know then was the richness of what was still to come: the depths of knowledge I would gain in college, the increased steps toward knowing God, myself, and others that I could not know in high school.  I could not then know the joy of marriage, of motherhood, of entering into a workplace where my knowledge and education and experience would become gifts to a wider world.  I could not imagine the paths the Spirit would choose for me and teach me to follow.  And today, given the choice, I would not choose the life of a high school student in exchange for my life today. 

The Ascension of Jesus, which we celebrate today, marked the end of life as the Apostles had experienced it.  I'm sure they thought they would be with Jesus for many years, until He "restored the kingdom to Israel," as they expected He would do, and until they "sat on his right and left hand," ruling in the new kingdom.  They were so excited about their expectations, now that they had found the promised Messiah of Israel. 

But their life as they knew it came to an end with the crucifixion of the Messiah.  Had they been wrong?  What now?  Could they go back to their former lives after having seen and experienced all that they had with Jesus?  How could they know then what paths the Spirit had chosen for them -- that Jesus would continue His life with them, through them, still healing the sick, still bringing the good news about redemption from sin and evil, still setting free those imprisoned by demons, abuse, neglect.....?

The Ascension into heaven was not an end, as they thought at the time, but the beginning of a whole new dimension of existence.  Jesus was going to continue to "be with them until the end of the world," but in a new way -- no longer through the body, but through His Spirit.  They could not then imagine what was still to come, any more than I could have imagined on prom night the life that was still to be held out for me. 

When God takes something away from us that was "our life," we are grief-stricken.  What we cannot imagine is what is yet to come.  Jesus told his apostles to "wait for the Gift of the Father."  It was, and is still, wonderful advice!