Blackmail!

Watching Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids last night, a sure way to put me to sleep.  One young bride had 3 bridesmaids, all close friends she really wanted in her wedding.  One of the bridesmaids held her friend and the other 2 bridesmaids hostage to her selfishness.  She did not like long dresses, so no one could wear a long dress.  If she did not like the selection, she made it clear that she would not be in the wedding.  Because of their long friendship, the bride really wanted her friend in the wedding and it was clear that the wedding would not be the same without her friend.

Unfortunately, the selfish girl did not like any dress she tried on.  As the day wore on, she became more and more adamant that she would not be in the wedding:  "I do not like this dress" was her constant refrain.  "I'm doing ____ a favor, and she knows that I won't do it unless I like the dress."

The young bride was beside herself with worry.  Finally, a dress that "looked good" on the selfish girl.  That was the dress that everyone else had to wear, and everyone was happy in the end.  The bride had absolutely no say about color, length, or style---it was all about what the bridesmaid wanted.

C.S. Lewis points out that there are loveless and self-imprisoned people who attempt to blackmail the universe:  until they consent to be happy (on their own terms), no one else will taste joy; theirs is the final power---that hell should veto heaven.

In The Great Divorce, Lewis says that the day will come when joy prevails and the miserable will no longer be able to infect it, when the makers of misery can no longer destroy in others the happiness they reject for themselves.  The weapon used by the selfish against those who have pity on them will eventually be broken.  The weapon of the good will change darkness into light and evil into good in the end--but it will not impose on the good the tyranny of evil.  It will not transform the garden of the world into a pile of stinking refuse for the sake of those who cannot abide the smell of roses.

Clearly, the young bride on Say Yes cherished her friendship above all material concerns, and I salute her for the values she exhibited.  But it was hard to see how long the friendship would endure when the bridesmaid herself did not hold the same values, and seemingly cared nothing at all about the wishes and concerns of the other two bridesmaids.  I think the day will come that the selfish bridesmaid will find herself standing all alone in the dress she has chosen above all else.