We Walk by Fairh

 In 2013, I attended a lenten series by Dr. Greg Voll and took some notes, which I have just re-discovered.  This is a little different from my usual ramblings, but as I re-read my notes, I thought it might be interesting to hear from a very respected theologian, who teaches at Notre Dame Seminary.  The following is from those notes:

As humans, we have an innate desire to love and to be loved; to know and to be known; to give ourselves to another and to receive another.  The truth is that we are restless until we rest in God.

How can we know God?  We are finite beings with infinite desires.  We are searching for the Face of God ---and He wants to meet this desire.  God's answer is that He has revealed Himself and has given Himself to mankind.

Jesus is the Perfect Self-Expression of the Father. He reflects all that the Fther is back to the FAther.  God knows Himself in the Son -- union of knowledge; union of love (The Holy Spirit).  Our soul can know and love in the same way that God dies, to share in His life-- the life of the Trinity.

The self-revelation of God is always going to be through the Son under the impulse of the Spirit.  

Every creature reflects the beauty and truth of God.  Humans can see and recognize beauty and truth and render thanksgiving to the Creator.  We receive the world from God's hands and offer it back to God.  But creation reveals God only partially.  He also communicates Himself to man in various ways throughout history.  But in these days he has spoken to us in His Son.  God reveals Himself partially through the prophets, but totally through the Son.

His revelation to man has been a gradual step-by-step revelaton (See Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 53).  By grace, we are caught up to new levels of knowledge and love. Christ's humanity makes God accessible to us.  For God, who commanded light to shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts, to give enlightenment concerning the knowledge of the glory of God, shining on the face of Christ Jesus (2Cor. 4:6).

Reading the Gospels gives us 4 authentic portraits of Christ and His personality.  The Eucharist gives us the humility of Christ -- to come to us as bread and wine.  He wants to feed us with Himself; He wants to pour Himself into us.

If we want to love and be loved; if we want to know and to be known; if we want to give ourselves to another and to receive another, we want to know God.  And the best way to know God is to begin with reading the Gospels and receiving the Eucharist.  As we open our minds and hearts to Him, He reveals Himself to us more and more -- and in the process, we come to know ourselves to a greater and greater degree.  He shows us what He loves about us, even as the Spirit shines in our hearts to give us a greater love for God Himself.

Providence

 God's Providence extends to the smallest detail of our lives, though we don't always recognize His hand.  I have always looked back on this story as amazing-- almost incredible -- but it shows how much God cares for even the details of our lives.

Soon after I moved to Mississippi from New Orleans, I decided to volunteer for a number of projects which would help me connect to the local church and civic community.  Even though I approached a number of people offering my time, no one ever called me to follow up.  Finally, I sat on my porch one day and said, "Okay, God.  You know where I live; you know my phone number.  Let me know when you are ready for me."  And I just waited.  

Within a few weeks, it turned out that my dear neighbor across the street had pancreatic cancer.  Her ensuing treatment meant a week in the hospital, followed shortly afterwards with a week or so at Tulane Hospital in New Orleans, and eventually time at M.D. Anderson in Texas.  In addition to the cancer, she was worried about her beloved Great Dane, Boots.  Who would take care of Boots while she was hospitalized?  Fortunately and providentially, I was free to do just that, unencumbered by a slew of volunteer jobs.  Looking back, I began to see why no one had ever followed up on my offers for volunteer work, and I felt so grateful to God that I was free to help my neighbor.

As Mary Lyn's cancer grew worse, and she began to near death, again she was concerned about Boots.  She knew a Great Dane was not likely to get adopted from a shelter, and she didn't know anyone who would be willing to adopt Boots.  My daughter and I said a prayer, asking God to take care of Boots to ease Mary Lyn's mind.  

At the time, my daughter was working in Belle Chase at a military complex.  Her office was on the second floor of a five-story building, and she rarely if ever met people from other floors.   However, at a retirement party for one of the officers, she happened to be sitting next to someone from the fourth floor, a lady she met for the first time.  The woman was relating her problem:  she had recently adopted a Great Dane puppy --- go figure! --- that was somewhat out of control.  The lady had no choice but to leave the dog alone all day while she worked, and neither she nor the dog was happy about the situation. She was hoping to adopt an older Great Dane to settle the pup and to keep it company during the day.

Imagine what machinations God had to contrive to have my daughter meet the one person in the world, probably, who actually was looking for an older Great Dane!  Arrangements were made for the two dogs to meet, and of course, they got along great!  Mary Lyn was able to let go of Boots with sorrow but immense gratitude that she would be well cared for.  (Actually, I later heard that all 4 -- husband, wife, and both dogs --- slept in the same bed at night.)  And Mary Lyn died in peace.

Is anything too hard for God?  I have a card on my desk that reads: Faith is Confidence in God's willingness and ability to be with us in all circumstances.

If you've heard the story of Boots and Mary Lyn, how can you doubt that truth?

Thirst!

If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me, and from his belly will flow rivers of living water (Jn. 7). 

Jesus made this statement on the "last and greatest day of the feast" of Tabernacles, the celebration and remembrance of God's Presence and Care of the Jews in the desert.  When they were hungry, He provided food; when they were thirsty, He provided water from the rock.  And now, on the day of living water, Jesus stands up in the Temple courtyard and says that He is the Source of Living Water.

And John goes on to add, "By this He meant the Spirit, which had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet been glorified."  The Holy Spirit is the Gift of Living Water, given to those who ask, who come to Jesus seeking Life.  

All of the passages I gave last time refer to this living water, either from the Old Testament prophets or from Jesus Himself.  Those who come to the waters are those who finally realize that there is another access to reality beyond what we can hear, touch, and see -- that there is a world of spirit and truth beyond our senses.  Belief in God is the conversion in which we discover that we are following an illusion if we devote ourselves only to the tangible world.  

For most of us, this conversion begins somewhere in our 30s, when we have grasped our goals of education, job, marriage, and maybe children.  Is there something else? we begin to wonder, something deeper and more satisfying?  I remember in my mid-thirties attending a session given by some Yogi teacher who was supposed to lead us into a deeper spirituality.  He offered us a guided meditation, where we closed our eyes and he talked us through a kind of spiritual journey.  I remember I started out mentally heading toward some distant mountains, but the journey was long, and the mountains seemed so far away.  I found myself growing discouraged -- not by major obstacles, but by small stones along the path.  I was tired and just wanted to sit down and rest.

The Yogi's interpretation of my "dream" was that I tended to get discouraged along the way not by large, but by small day-to-day obstacles.  Perhaps he was right, but I think my insight may be typical of life wearing us down along the way -- whether through small or large events.  

God's answer to the colllective grid that forms the site of human existence, which we call "Original Sin," the web that forms our daily lives, is the Holy Spirit.  We live in a "dry and thirsty land," growing increasingly thirsty for joy without the Gift of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus encountered our thirst on the Cross, enduring what man endures -- but He brought to their knees the "powers and principalities" that oppose us, according to Ephesians 6.  By the power of His new existence, His new life, He is able to give the Holy Spirit, the Water of Eternal Life, to all who come to Him.

The entire message of the Gospel is that Jesus has overcome the powers that wear us down and discourage us.  He has given us His own peace, His own Joy, His own Love -- it's called the Holy Spirit, our Advocate.  At first (John 4 -- the woman at the well ), it is a "spring of water welling up to eternal life." But then, the water He gives becomes "rivers of living water" flowing from within our breasts to the world beyond (John 7).  

If You Knew the Gift of God......

 "If you knew the gift of God," Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, "you would ask, and I would give you, a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (Jn. 4:10).

One of the very first verses that "spoke" to me in the bible was Is. 12:3:  With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.  Later, when I came to John 4:10, I remembered how much I had loved the passage from Isaiah.  What Jesus was offering the Samaritan woman was the gift of JOY!  Now, "salvation" may be to abstract an idea to excite many people, but, really, who does not want JOY?

Many people seek happiness for much of their lives, only to discover that what they were really looking for all along was joy --- joy that persists even when life fails to make us "happy."  And that joy has only one source: Jesus.  It's what He came to give us: My joy I give to you, not as the world gives...

It's the joy He experiences from and with the Father of all life, the joy that 'overcomes the world,' the joy He died that we might experience.  Faith, after all, is not an intellectual concept.  It is experiential.  A person believes she understands what love is --- until she experiences it.  And then she knows what cannot be explained.

The joy Jesus wants us to experience is one of the 'fruits' of the Holy Spirit; that is, it is the result of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.  We cannot manufacture it, or give it to ourselves.  It is sheer gift -- and one of the signs that the Spirit of Jesus dwells within us.

If I could have anything in the world that I wanted, this is what I would ask:  that all those I love would discover the gift of Joy within themselves, that the Holy Spirit would teach them the joy that comes from being drawn into fellowship with the God who loves them without limit -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Joy is a gift that we must want if we are to experience it.  Jesus taught us to ask the Father for the "good gift" of the Holy Spirit:  Ask, Seek, Knock......If you, evil as you are, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father give the Spirit to those who ask.

To awaken a desire for the Gift of God, it often helps to know what it is we are asking FOR.  The following scriptures are a beginning.   Take a week to look up and write out each reference in a notebook.  At the end of the week, you might notice a kind of thirst welling up in your spirit -- the thirst that drove the Samaritan woman to ask and to receive the Holy Spirit:  Please, Sir, give me this water!

John 7: 38-39

Ezekiel 47:1-12

Isaiah 44:3-4

Isaiah 55:1

Isaiah 58:11

Revelation 22:1-2

Ask the Father for what you desire -- and then let's meet again next week!

To the Rescue -- Part 2

 When the enemy comes in like a flood,
The Spirit of the Lord will put him to flight.

I left off the story Friday morning, as I was facing the prospect of starting chemo.  CVS had left a message on my phone which I did not understand, as CVS is not my pharmacy.  I had understood that the chemo drug would be delivered to my house, but the message indicated that I should request it "from any pharmacy."  In my confusion, I imagined that I would have to ask for it at Walgreen's, and I woke up that morning faced with the prospect of having to ask the pharmacist about the phone call.  The idea of talking to the pharmacist about taking chemo just overwhelmed me.

I drove to a friend's house to talk to her first, hoping that would calm me before going to Walgreen's.  But after pulling into her driveway, I thought, "This is not fair; she is working (remotely)."  So I drove on.

When I got to Walgreen's, I sat in the parking lot crying.  I was just unable to go in there and talk to the pharmacist about taking chemo.  "O God," I said, "if I just had someone to talk to!"  

Suddenly, there was a knock at my window.  When I rolled it down, there stood a sweet young man (about 30+ years old. )   "Mam," he said, "I cannot go in there and leave you sitting here like this.  If you want to talk, I'm here to listen."  

Oh my God!  (spoken with all reverence)  He heard my prayer and sent me an angel, disguised as an off-shore oil worker!  This young man listened to my story wi"th compassion and offered to go into Walgreen's with me and talk to the pharmacist, something I was not yet ready to do.  Finally, he said, "Don't put yourself through this; go to the park. look at the birds and the trees.  When you feel calm, call your doctor and ask what you should do."  Why hadn't I thought of that?  

I took his advice, went to the beach, watched the clouds and the waves, and when I was ready, called my doctor.  Found out that the phone call was something of a CVS scheme, if not a scam.  I did not need to do anything at all; the medicine would be delivered to my door.

For years, I wore a wrist bracelet that said, "God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress."  Sometimes he shows up in the guise of an offshore oil-field worker!

To the Rescue!

 Go forth without fear, 
for He who created you has made you holy,
has always protected you, 
and loves you as a mother.  (Clare of Assisi)

When the enemy comes in like a flood, 

the Spirit of the Lord will put him to flight (Is. 59:19)

(Amplified Bible translation) 

Recently I found out that the lung cancer I had in 2010 has returned.  Since I am now 83, and since I have had 15 wonderful years following that bout with cancer, I decided that I would prefer to have two good years remaining to me (the cancer is slow-growing) without chemotherapy.  I could not see the option of maybe 2 years of debilitating chemo, at which time I would be 85.  Since I have osteoporosis and macular degeneration, any remaining years beyond chemo does not sound promising.  The best I could hope for might be maybe 3 more years, and the quality of those years seems doubtful.

During my first battle with cancer, the Lord took over the fight; a great peace descended on me even before I heard the diagnosis.  As I drove to the doctor's office for the results of a CT scan, I listened to Charles Stanley's talk on the radio:  How to Handle a Crisis.  The text of his sermon was Psalm 59:2 --- I will hide under the shadow of His wings until the disaster has passed me by.  The verse sustained me throughout all the episodes of surgery and recovery --- but actually, the peace had been given to me as a gift weeks before, and it never left me.  It was truely a gift from the Holy Spirit.

Once again, when I heard the latest diagnosis, I had no fear or anxiety.  I felt that God had been preparing me for the past two years for death, and I felt ready for it.  With my first visit to the oncologist, I asked her to help me navigate my death as gracefully as possible without chemotherapy.  Because of my age, she agreed with me and assured me she would do that.

Proverbs 16:9, however, sheds a different light on my determination:  A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  During the second visit to the oncologist, following a PET scan, the doctor was euphoric.  It seems that I have a rare genetic mutation in the cancer that only 15% of lung cancer patients have. "It's like finding a needle in a haystack," the doctor said excitedly.  The reason for her excitement is that there is a drug that targets that mutation, and we know that the drug destroys the tumor.  Instead of a long period of chemo by infusion, I would be able to take a pill at  home for 3 months, at the end of which the tumor could be destroyed.  I began to think that God had a better plan than I had.

However, the drug has serious side-effects which give me pause:  it attacks the liver, causes pancreatitus, bone pain, significant weight gain, swelling of the legs and feet, photosensitivity (I would not be able to work in my garden) and sensitivity to caffeine.  That's just the beginning!  I began to wonder if it's worth it, even for only 3 months.

As my doubts and fears began to grow, I spent time in adoration seeking the Lord's answer.  Before leaving last week, the last thing I wrote in my notebook was a famous quote from Julian of Norwich, given to her by Jesus in a mystical revelation:  You shall see for yourself that all things will be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

The next morning, realizing that I needed to talk to the pharmacist about this drug, I was hit with a wave of panic and fear.  Suddenly, after weeks of peaceful acceptance, I could not stop crying.  Desperate for a sense of calm, I opened one of my books at random and read the quote from Jullian of Norwich that I had written the day before.  I wanted to accept and believe, but, like Peter, I was still overwhelmed by the danger and the threat of chemo.  Finally, I decided that I needed to begin recording my blood pressure, as directed by my doctor, and I searched for a small notebook in which to record the numbers. Rummaging through my office, I came across a tiny notebook I last used in 2017.  The last entry in that notebook was --- you can guess it --- the quote from Julian of Norwich!  Slowly but surely I was beginning to believe that God was trying to tell me something (see the second quotation at the beginning of this entry).

Does God speak to us?  Maybe we are not listening or recording His voice.  

This is not the end of the story, but because of its length, I will continue in the next entry. 

The Power of the Resurrection

 So, then, what difference has the Resurrection made to us?  

Although the Gospels were written in Greek, the original Christian community preserved a few words in Jesus' original Aramaic untranslated.  Among those few treasures are His words addressed to His Father in His prayer at the Last Supper (John 17).  These words were so unusual, so new, to the Apostles that they remembered them word for word; in them, we can still hear Jesus, as it were, speaking in His own voice.

In the Old Testament, it would have been impossible for the Jew to address God as "Papa," a term of such intimacy that it would have been unseemly.  What gripped the first Christians and caused them to preserve the word as it originally sounded was that it expressed a new form of imtimacy with God belonging only to the Son.  The Jews would not even dare to pronounce the Holy Name of God, instead substituting the letters for "Lord" in their Scripture. 

All of John's Gospel,  from the beginning, shows Jesus drawing His friends into the same intimacy with God that belonged to the Son:  to all those who received Him, He gave the power to become sons/children of God -- John 1).

Not a distant, far-off God, but a Father, a Father who watches daily for the return of the prodigal and Who discards his own dignity to run down the road to embrace the return of His son.  A God who leaves heaven to go in pursuit of the lame, the blind, the leper, the sinner, the abandoned.  A God in search of Man.

After His resurrection, Jesus tells Mary Magdalene in garden, "Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet returned to the Father.  Go and tell my brothers, "I  am ascending to My Father and to your Father, to my God and to your God ."

We have to think that the very first words of someone returning from death might be the most important thing on His mind -- Go and tell my brothers......no longer strangers, but friends.... no longer distant, but family....Go and tell my brothers that I ascend to Our Father.

In Baptism, we are drawn by the Resurrected Jesus into the inner life of Christ in His relationship to His Father.  We are drawn into the very dynamics of the inner life of God, united with Christ to the Father in the love/union of the Holy Spirit.  We are no longer "following Jesus" or "imitating" Him; we are IN HIM AND HE IN US.  

We are baptized "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  Baptism into the Resurrected Christ means that we are incorporated into God's own life.  His life is our life!  Alleluia!  And the best part is that this incorporation begins now -- we need not die and go to heaven to begin living Life itself!

On the Ascension

 One of the most wonderful things about the Catholic faith is its structure:  the structure of the Mass itself, plus the structure of the liturgical seasons and feasts.  C. S. Lewis once said that in a worship service, if you do not know ahead of time what is going to happen or what is being prayed, then you are forced to listen to see if you agree with what is being said, so that you can say "Amen."

However, if you know ahead of time what is being said or prayed, then it leaves you free to enter into your own heart in response to the liturgical celebration. As you already know you can say "Amen" to the prayer, you then begin to link your own thoughts and the events of your own life to it.

Season after season, year after year, the Church follows a predictable cycle of celebrations and events from the life of Jesus:  Advent, Christmas, Ordinary Time, Lent, Easter, Pentecost, Living in the Spirit..... 

And Sunday after Sunday, we know the Mass will bring us to the foot of the cross where Jesus surrenders His entire life and being to the Father for the salvation of the world.  We know the prayers; we know the cycle of the Mass: 

the Penetential Rite -- acknowledging sin and asking for mercy; 

the Liturgy of the Word -- the readings, the homily, the Creed (I believe) and Intercessory Prayer.  

And then the Liturgy of the Eucharist ---Gathering the gifts to be offered, preparing the altar, prayer, the Sanctus (recognizing the holiness of the Lord among us), the Consecration, and the Mystery of FAith. 

Finally, the Communion Rite -- The Lord's Prayer*, the Sign of Peace*, the Agnus Dei*, and receiving the Body of Christ.  * (All the elements which must be acknowledged before approaching the altar).

While teenagers and indifferent Catholics find the repetition boring, as C.S. Lewis points out, the predictability allows us an amazing personal response to the events taking place, with the unique ability to link the events of the Mass to our own inner and personal lives, as well as to the service we extend to the world around us.

The same is true of the liturgical seasons.  As we enter into each celebration, we are invited to respond from our own perspective to the event.  And so the Church brings us yearly to the entire Word of God, both in the Scriptures and in the Life of Christ.  (By the end of each 3-year cycle, we will have covered the entire Bible in the liturgy of the Word -- and then we begin again.)

Which bring us to today's celebration of the Ascension of our Lord.  Left to a random selection of services and prayers, this is a feast we might never approach on our own.  Today, however, we ponder what ever meaning the Ascension of the Lord might have to our own lives.  Sometimes a homily might give us an Aha moment; other times, the Holy Spirit Himself, according to the divine promise, will enlighten our minds with a personal revelation.  As Bishop Barron once wrote:

Since Jesus is the Son, He is God, and it is impossible for us to adequately interpret him through our own powers of perception. We need a divine pedagogue through whom to understand what he tells us about the Father. This is the advocate we call the Holy Spirit.

So, here, after a long introduction, is one of my joyous responses to the Feast of the Ascension:  Again, Bishop Barron:  The one thing we must not do is to imagine that Jesus has gone up, up, and away from the earth, leaving us to direct our lives the best we can, while He watches from a remote distance.  Rather, He has gone into a different dimension that trascends our universe, but in a sense,  is closer to us than the world around us.  Living now in a spiritual dimension, He can direct this world through those who are "in" Him in the Spirit.  He is a God ever closer to us in all the events of our life now.  (Note: not a direct quote, but a putting together of ideas Barron has expressed on the topic)

Who do we pray to on a regular basis -- a remote God in the heavens above, who can barely hear our squeaky prayer?   Or a God ever closer to us than our own thoughts and breaths? A God who enters into our world to save us at every moment?  A God who moans with us in our sorrow and grief and who offers us a way out of our troubles?  A God who says to us, "I am with you, even to the end of the world"?

Viva la Ascension!

The Pirate Prayer

 I had the opportunity yesterday to practice and experience what is laughingly called "The Pirate Prayer" because the initials of the four steps are AARRR.  We were given a passage of Scripture to ponder/ pray about, then the instructions, and then we went into the chapel to try it out.  The speaker was trying to show us that God does speak to us if we know how to listen and receive His words.  

I welcome you to try it out for yourself.  The passage we used was the Parable of the Sower, but you can try any passage of Scripture.  Read the passage slowly enough to absorb it.  Then try the following steps:

1.  ACKNOWLEDGE GOD.  Who is the God Who is listening to your prayer?  Who is He to you?  Who/ where has He been in your life.  In her desperation in the desert, Hagar, the Egyptian slave girl, called God:  You are the God of seeing (or "You are the God who sees me!")  At another time, she called Him "The God of hearing" (or "You are the ONe who hears me.")  

    As I started this exercise yesterday, I acknowledged God as "The ever-present God, The One Who is always present to me, the One who always listens to me."  That acknowledgement took me to a place of worship and lasted longer than I had anticipated.  I actually felt that I was in His presence for a few moments and had no desire to move on to the next step.  I just wanted to remain there.

2.  ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART AS YOU READ THE SCRIPTURE. Become aware of your reactions and ask, "Why am I feeling this way?"  "What is behind my reaction?"  

    As I started reading the parable yesterday, I got just a little way into it before I found myself reacting to the line that said, Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it had not much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away.

At that point, I began to realize the depth of soil God had given me from the beginning:  a love of good books of all kinds, a Catholic school education, believing parents, nightly rosary with the family, etc.  And I began to grieve over those whose rearing had provided little or no "soil"/ soul for the seed -- the word of God.  I know God's word can penetrate behind closed doors, but I still mourn those whose childhood has been barren of any spiritual preparation.

3.  Relate what you are feeling back to God.  In my case, it was both gratitude and grief that I began to relate back to God about what I was feeling.  

4.   Receive what God says back to you, and Respond.  Here, what God "says" may not be in words at all, but in your thoughts and feelings.  What do you desire to do now?  Your desires are probably the action of the Holy Spirit in you and maybe should be obeyed.  And so, for the first time, I began to pray for those who have no spiritual background in their lives, praying that the Lord would send "laborers into the vineyard....to seek and save what is lost."

This is but one way of many to approach the Word of God in our lives.  But it is one way to ensure that the seed -- the Word of God -- will take root in our lives and bear fruit!

Why the Transfiguration?

 Today, the Gospel reading that of the Transfiguration of Jesus.  One of the things that strikes me about the Transfiguration is that Jesus wants us to know Him -- to really know Who He is.  Previously, he had asked the disciples, "Who do men say that I am?"  So we get the general view, from the outside, so to speak, of how people saw Jesus.  I think not much has changed since then.  People that I know see Jesus as a kind of exceptional man: a prophet, a great teacher, a super-spiritual human being.  

"But you," said Jesus, "who do you say that I am?"  And Peter suddenly knew who Jesus really was -- the Son of God.  Jesus was pleased at the revelation given to Peter, but it still wasn't enough.  Every one of us wants to be known, for one person, at least, to know who we really are.  We are made to be inhabited by at least one other person.  Genesis tells us that the man and his wife were "naked and unashamed."  It feels wonderful to be truly ourselves, without shame, with one other person.  No need for fig leaves, masks, or pretense in any area of our lives.

Peter knew that Jesus was the Son of God, but he had still not seen Jesus in His Glory, the radiance of a human being totally united with the Divine Presence.  Jesus revealed the totality of His Being to His friends.  They needed this vision to offset the one to come -- that of the Son of God nailed to a cross.  

In so much of our lives, the vision of God's Presence is veiled to us.  We cannot see; it is hard to believe that God is truly present to us.  But if we are willing to go up the mountain of prayer on a regular basis, we may catch a glimpse of the Presence.  God wants us to know Who He Is.  He revealed Himself in Scripture and in the Face of Jesus Christ.  But there is more:  sometimes in prayer, He will show Himself to His friends, and our reaction will be like Peter's:  "Lord, it is good for us to be here!"

The Joy of Being Found

 It was one of those beautiful spring days in New Orleans, with the earth coming alive after a long winter. Friday afternoon, and I wanted to be outside, specifically in Audubon Park, just down the street, enjoying the newborn baby ducks and geese, the lure of greenery, and the soft breezes of the day.  I could hear birds chirping and a fountain gurgling outside of the floor-to-ceiling windows opened to the beautiful grounds of St. Mary's Dominican College on St. Charles Avenue.

Instead, I was trapped in a second-floor biology laboratory, dissecting a frog.  There was no one else around, the rest of the academic world apparantly having yielded to the allure of spring and the end of the week.    I knew that if I pushed aside the assignment until the following week, I would regret it later, so I reluctantly began tracing and sketching the execretory system of the frog.

Suddenly, it seemed as if a light had begun to illumine my mind, as I saw wisdom, beauty, and design in the execretory system, as food was digested, poisons secreted out, nourishment for the body extracted, and waste eliminated.  Further, in terms of the human system, all of these operations continued without awareness or control on our part, but at the end, we had control of the result.  Unlike the frog or a bird, we could wait until we found a suitable place for disposal.  

Overwhelmed with the beauty of design, I felt desire to profoundly worship God the Creator.  I wanted to kneel right there in the laboratory and thank God for His Wisdom in creation. But fear of being discovered (seemingly in worship of a frog) prevented me from kneeling down right then and there.

[Years later, I said to the Lord: "The execretory system ---  really?"  And His answer to me was, "Well, somone has to praise Me for this!"]

Now most anyone with a similar experience would claim to have "found God."  Thinking back on this event so many years later, however, I am more inclined to identify the experience as one where God found me!

In his wonderful book called Introduction to Christianity, Pope Benedict XVI writes that one of the basic roots from which man's encounter with God arises proceeds from the joy of security:

The very fulfillment of love, of finding one another, can cause man to experience the gift of what he could neither call up nor create and make him realize that in it he receives more than either of the two could contribute.  The brightness and joy of finding one another can point to the proximity of absolute joy and of the simple fact of being found that stands behind every human encounter.

All this is just intended to give some idea of how human existence can be the point of departure for the experience of the absolute, which from this angle is seen as "God the Son," as the Savior, or, more simply, as a God related to existence (p. 106-107).

Thinking back on the history of God's interaction with mankind, I can see the experience of Abraham, of Moses, of the Israelite people ---- even of Adam in the garden after he sinned --- as an experience of being found by God. God said to Adam:  Where are you?  and Adam's response was, "I was hiding because I had sinned."  But God found him anyway.  We are all hiding in paganism, in personal and in world affairs, in our own interests --- But sooner or later, in the midst of our lives, God finds us!

And just like the joy of being found by another being who loves us and delights in his find of us, we begin to experience the joy of security when we are found by God.  He knows me,  He knows where I am, and He came looking for me!  He found me! I am loved, and because I am loved, He opens to me the treasures of His own beauty and wisdom.

Once, when my youngest child "ran away from home" (she was about 4 or 5), she later told me, "I just wanted someone to come after me!"  I regret that I did not do that, but waited for her to come back on her own.  We all need to know that Someone wants to find us, to delight in us, to share His life with us! 

Being For One Another

CAUTION:  The following quotation is from Benedict XVI, a pope, yes, but also a great theologian.  Thus, I recommend a slow, thoughtful reading rather than a skimming.

Because Christian faith demands the individual but wants him for the whole and not for himself, the real basic law of Christian existence is expressed in the preposition "for."  ...That is why in the chief Christian sacrament, which forms the center of Christian worship, the existence of Jesus Christ is explained as existence "for many," "for you," as an open existence that makes possible and creates the communication of all with one another through communication in him...

Being a Christian means essentially changing over from being for oneself to being for one another.  This also explains what is really meant by the often rather odd-seeming concept of election ("being chosen").  It means, not a preference that leaves the individual undisturbed in himself and divides him from the others, but embarking on the common task....

Accordingly, the basic Christian decision signifies the assent to being a Christian, the abandonment of self-centeredness, and accession to Jesus Christ's existence with its concentration on the whole.

(Pope Benedict XVI: Introduction to Christianity)

As Catholic children, we were taught to say the Morning Offering: O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer you my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings this day in union with the holy sacrifice of the Mass for the salvation of souls, the reparation of sins, the reunion of all Christians, and in particular, for the intentions of our holy father, Pope Francis.  (Note: there are many variations of this prayer.)

We were also taught to offer ourselves to the Father in union with the sacrifice/offering of Jesus during every Mass.  The "missing link" in the explanation, in my opinion, was what we were offering ourselves FOR.  I was never quite sure what the Father would do with my "offering" of myself, or of my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings.

I think Benedict XVI hits the nail on the head when he says that the basic Christian decision means assenting to the abandonment of self-centeredness and agreeing to being FOR others, as Christ is FOR us.  

As a mother is FOR her child in every way, from lack of necessary sleep and rest to sacrifice of her own comfort for the welfare of her child;

As a husband and wife are FOR one another to the sacrifice of their own desires and even dreams, at times;

As parents are FOR their children;

As a pastor is FOR his flock,

we, too, are FOR those we love and serve in whatever capacity or assignment is given to us.  It is for us as members of the Body of Christ to forget our own interests and to serve the needs of others.  And the only way we can do this is to first know that God is FOR US!  We cannot forget ourselves and our own interests unless we know that someone (God) will take care of us.  Only then can we abandon ourselves into His care and extend our arms to the care of others.

Dive In

 I read a wonderful reflection yesterday in Give Us This Day, the daily prayer/meditation book that I use.  The reflection was written by Father Anthony J. Gittins in his book, The Way of Discipleship.  Father Gittins died in 2023, but I am sure he would be pleased that I pass along his profound thoughts.

He said that he had been standing on Promontory Point overlooking Lake Michigan, thinking how vast -- almost infinite -- the lake is, how hard it is to "take it in," so to speak in its beauty and wonder.  It somewhat overwhelmed him as he tried to drink it all in.  However, a few months later, he stood on the same point and watched people all around him jumping and diving into the lake -- and he realized that although none of them was completely able to "take in" Lake Michigan, that immense body was able to take in each one of them, so that they were immersed and submerged in it (but not swallowed up or drowned.)

Father Gittins reflected that God is like that lake and we are the swimmers.  None of us can completely "take in" or comprehend God, but each of us can become immersed in Him without drowning or being engulfed.  We can experience God by throwing ourselves into His unfathomable depths, trusting that He will give us bouyancy and life.

Jesus, like the Rosetta Stone, translated the infinite and incomprehensible love and mercy of God into concrete signs of love, of healing, of forgiveness, of table fellowship.  He didn't ask us to try to comprehend it, but only to "dive into" God's offer of covenant love and friendship.  He even poured out the Holy Spirit as the means to enter into and submerge ourselves in the love of God.

Someone once said to me, "No one has ever proved to me the existence of God."  I wish I had been clever enough at the time to say, "If our small minds could comprehend the mystery of God, He would not be God. But we can dive into Him without understanding, and in Him we can find bouyancy and life!"

One Bird Watching

 Many years ago, at an artists' retreat in New Harmony, Indiana, I came across the following poem engraved on a monument beside the lake.  As my sister and I stood there reading the poem, a magnificent blue heron with about a 12 foot wingspan slowly flew across the lake and softly landed about 10 feet from where we stood.  He (she?) quietly folded his/her wings and stood, as if alongside us, contemplating the scene.  For me, it was a breath-taking moment.  It was as if I had found my vocation -- or, rather, as if the scene embodied and described my life's purpose:  to quietly watch God at work in my own life and in the life of others.

Strangely enough, or maybe typically enough in the way God works, when I left Indiana (and Kentucky, where my sister lives), I decided to take an unplanned side trip on my way home to Mississippi.  A friend of mine had found a home in the hills of Tennesse after the total destruction of her house in Hurricane Katrina.  I was within driving distance of her new place and decided to stay overnight with her.  The next morning, I awoke to the sound and light of her working on a computer right outside my bedroom.  It seemed that she had just started writing a blog, something I had never heard about before then.  

Intrigued, I asked her to show me how to start a blog.  By the time I drove home later that day, the inspiration had settled in for this blog:  ONE BIRD WATCHING.  I think it took the combination of back-to-back experiences to launch me into blogging.  Without the first experience, I would have felt that I had nothing to say on a blog.  Without the second, my initial awe might have died for lack of expression.  Do you see what I mean about watching God work?

Here is my initial inspiration:

When no one listens
To the quiet trees,
When no one notices
the sun in the pool;

When no one feels

The first drop of rain,

Or sees the last star;

Or hails the first morning

Of a giant world

Where the peace begins

And rages end:

One bird sits still

Watching the work of God:

One turning leaf,

Two falling blossoms,

Ten circles upon the pond.

Grace, Grace, and More GraceI

 I have been re- reading a wonderful book by Harvey Eagan called Karl Rahner: Mystic of Everyday Life.  Karl Rahner, the greatest theologian of the 20th century (in my opinion), maintained that every person is the subject of "the always-offered grace of God's self-communication."  We call that self-communication of God The Holy Spirit.

Rahner also believed that "the devout Christian of the future will either be a mystic, one who has experienced 'something,' or he will cease to be anything at all."  

Jesus said, "I have come to case fire upon the earth, and what would I but that it be kindled" (Luke 12:49).  Those who maintain that Jesus is only a great teacher have not yet caught the fire He came to give.  The reason He came was to give us the Holy Spirit, who will "teach [us] all things and lead [us] into Truth."

There is much to be said and studied about the Role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  For those who want to understand and receive more, I will list some Scriptures at the end.  Reading/praying these Scriptures will bring us into communion with the Spirit Himself.  By opening the door to the "always-offered grace of God's self-communication," we can ready ourselves for the fire that Jesus came to give us.  Even better would be to study these Scriptures with a small group who can pray together for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and who can share together the result of grace, grace, and more grace!

According to Karl Rahner, here are the results of experiencing the 'something' he referred to (or the Role of the Holy Spirit in our lives):

--- a taste for prayer

--- a heart open to the mysteries of Scripture ("To you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted" Matt. 13:11)

--- the experience of Christian community

--- a deep sense of ecumenism

--- a mysticism of everyday life: the finding of God in all things

--- consciousness of being under the special and personal guidance of the Holy Spirit  ["The mystic is absolutely sure that God and God alone is acting"]

--- an infused (or awakened) contemplation of Scripture and of life itself.

How do we get there?  God has already opened the door for us; we just have to walk through it (see John 10).  Here are some great starting places:

John 14-16

Matthew 7 and Luke 11

Zechariah 4:6

Acts 1

Luke 12:49 and Matt 3:11

Galatians 5:22;   Isaiah 11:1ff;  I Cor. 13

Isaiah 12:3 and John 4:10  (Read together)

Where Has God Been in YOur Life?

 When the ancient Israelites were journeying through the Promised Land, they would often construct a monument of stones and call it "Ebenezer," meaning "thus far has God helped us."  In my own life, God's help was so present to me during and after Katrina that I wrote the story of His Providence and called it "Ebenezer Road" (not published).

Karl Rahner, the greatest theologian of the 20th century, once said that every person has encountered God in his/her life.  To those who aver that they have never encountered God, he says, "O yes, you have encountered Him!"  But I'd be willing to bet that not one in thirty people can tell you how, when, or where that encounter took place.

It has been said that unless we find God in our own lives, we will not find Him at all. But reflection has not been part of our culture, as it was, for example, in Greek culture.  So turning outwards to the world around us for stimulation, we hardly know how to turn within our own lives and histories to find God.

As I go back through my own history, I can find so many landmarks along the road, places where I met God, though at the time, I may not have recognized the encounter.  One of those times was after my third child was born.  I had had three children in four years, with all of the attendant ear infections, tonsillitis, and frequent hospitalizations, etc.  Since I nursed all my children, I think I had not slept more than an hour and half in those four plus years.  I thought I was doing fine until one day I found I could not stop crying; I think sheer exhaustion had set in.  

My husband took three days off from work, and I went to the Cenacle, a retreat house in Metairie, for rest and recuperation.  There I met Sr. Gautreaux, a nun trained in counseling.  The first night I met her, I simply mentioned that I couldn't stop crying, but that I had no real problems -- the kind that other people had.  She did not try to counsel me, telling me that God loved me, for example, or offer words of practical advice.  She did not pray with me or for me.  She simply asked me one question:  Who is God to you?

She asked me to ponder the question overnight.  And the answer to that question changed my life.  

I came back the next day and told her that God was the God of my past and occasionally of my present, but He was not the God of my future.  That is, I could look back in my life and see where He was, and sometimes I could sense His presence in the moment, but that I could not trust Him for the future.  In other words, I thought I was responsible for handling all the problems of each day.  The burden rested on my shoulders, and I thought I should be able to handle it by myself.  I didn't really think God would be there for me in the future.  

The following day, as I was packing to leave the Cenacle, I heard a bird singing and singing and singing, really loud!  I turned, and there on my windowsill sat a cardinal, singing its little heart out!  Truly a moment of grace for me, as the thought went through my mind:  You don't have to solve all the problems alone; all you have to do is to get up each morning and sing!

It was the beginning of a new journey toward God for me, even though it took years for me to travel that new road.

I now find it a prayerful experience for me to look back on my life in 10-year segments, asking myself where God was in each of those segments of my life.  And discovering His presence for me in the past leads me to trust that He will continue to be there for me in the future!