Providence

 God's Providence extends to the smallest detail of our lives, though we don't always recognize His hand.  I have always looked back on this story as amazing-- almost incredible -- but it shows how much God cares for even the details of our lives.

Soon after I moved to Mississippi from New Orleans, I decided to volunteer for a number of projects which would help me connect to the local church and civic community.  Even though I approached a number of people offering my time, no one ever called me to follow up.  Finally, I sat on my porch one day and said, "Okay, God.  You know where I live; you know my phone number.  Let me know when you are ready for me."  And I just waited.  

Within a few weeks, it turned out that my dear neighbor across the street had pancreatic cancer.  Her ensuing treatment meant a week in the hospital, followed shortly afterwards with a week or so at Tulane Hospital in New Orleans, and eventually time at M.D. Anderson in Texas.  In addition to the cancer, she was worried about her beloved Great Dane, Boots.  Who would take care of Boots while she was hospitalized?  Fortunately and providentially, I was free to do just that, unencumbered by a slew of volunteer jobs.  Looking back, I began to see why no one had ever followed up on my offers for volunteer work, and I felt so grateful to God that I was free to help my neighbor.

As Mary Lyn's cancer grew worse, and she began to near death, again she was concerned about Boots.  She knew a Great Dane was not likely to get adopted from a shelter, and she didn't know anyone who would be willing to adopt Boots.  My daughter and I said a prayer, asking God to take care of Boots to ease Mary Lyn's mind.  

At the time, my daughter was working in Belle Chase at a military complex.  Her office was on the second floor of a five-story building, and she rarely if ever met people from other floors.   However, at a retirement party for one of the officers, she happened to be sitting next to someone from the fourth floor, a lady she met for the first time.  The woman was relating her problem:  she had recently adopted a Great Dane puppy --- go figure! --- that was somewhat out of control.  The lady had no choice but to leave the dog alone all day while she worked, and neither she nor the dog was happy about the situation. She was hoping to adopt an older Great Dane to settle the pup and to keep it company during the day.

Imagine what machinations God had to contrive to have my daughter meet the one person in the world, probably, who actually was looking for an older Great Dane!  Arrangements were made for the two dogs to meet, and of course, they got along great!  Mary Lyn was able to let go of Boots with sorrow but immense gratitude that she would be well cared for.  (Actually, I later heard that all 4 -- husband, wife, and both dogs --- slept in the same bed at night.)  And Mary Lyn died in peace.

Is anything too hard for God?  I have a card on my desk that reads: Faith is Confidence in God's willingness and ability to be with us in all circumstances.

If you've heard the story of Boots and Mary Lyn, how can you doubt that truth?

Thirst!

If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me, and from his belly will flow rivers of living water (Jn. 7). 

Jesus made this statement on the "last and greatest day of the feast" of Tabernacles, the celebration and remembrance of God's Presence and Care of the Jews in the desert.  When they were hungry, He provided food; when they were thirsty, He provided water from the rock.  And now, on the day of living water, Jesus stands up in the Temple courtyard and says that He is the Source of Living Water.

And John goes on to add, "By this He meant the Spirit, which had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet been glorified."  The Holy Spirit is the Gift of Living Water, given to those who ask, who come to Jesus seeking Life.  

All of the passages I gave last time refer to this living water, either from the Old Testament prophets or from Jesus Himself.  Those who come to the waters are those who finally realize that there is another access to reality beyond what we can hear, touch, and see -- that there is a world of spirit and truth beyond our senses.  Belief in God is the conversion in which we discover that we are following an illusion if we devote ourselves only to the tangible world.  

For most of us, this conversion begins somewhere in our 30s, when we have grasped our goals of education, job, marriage, and maybe children.  Is there something else? we begin to wonder, something deeper and more satisfying?  I remember in my mid-thirties attending a session given by some Yogi teacher who was supposed to lead us into a deeper spirituality.  He offered us a guided meditation, where we closed our eyes and he talked us through a kind of spiritual journey.  I remember I started out mentally heading toward some distant mountains, but the journey was long, and the mountains seemed so far away.  I found myself growing discouraged -- not by major obstacles, but by small stones along the path.  I was tired and just wanted to sit down and rest.

The Yogi's interpretation of my "dream" was that I tended to get discouraged along the way not by large, but by small day-to-day obstacles.  Perhaps he was right, but I think my insight may be typical of life wearing us down along the way -- whether through small or large events.  

God's answer to the colllective grid that forms the site of human existence, which we call "Original Sin," the web that forms our daily lives, is the Holy Spirit.  We live in a "dry and thirsty land," growing increasingly thirsty for joy without the Gift of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus encountered our thirst on the Cross, enduring what man endures -- but He brought to their knees the "powers and principalities" that oppose us, according to Ephesians 6.  By the power of His new existence, His new life, He is able to give the Holy Spirit, the Water of Eternal Life, to all who come to Him.

The entire message of the Gospel is that Jesus has overcome the powers that wear us down and discourage us.  He has given us His own peace, His own Joy, His own Love -- it's called the Holy Spirit, our Advocate.  At first (John 4 -- the woman at the well ), it is a "spring of water welling up to eternal life." But then, the water He gives becomes "rivers of living water" flowing from within our breasts to the world beyond (John 7).  

If You Knew the Gift of God......

 "If you knew the gift of God," Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, "you would ask, and I would give you, a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (Jn. 4:10).

One of the very first verses that "spoke" to me in the bible was Is. 12:3:  With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.  Later, when I came to John 4:10, I remembered how much I had loved the passage from Isaiah.  What Jesus was offering the Samaritan woman was the gift of JOY!  Now, "salvation" may be to abstract an idea to excite many people, but, really, who does not want JOY?

Many people seek happiness for much of their lives, only to discover that what they were really looking for all along was joy --- joy that persists even when life fails to make us "happy."  And that joy has only one source: Jesus.  It's what He came to give us: My joy I give to you, not as the world gives...

It's the joy He experiences from and with the Father of all life, the joy that 'overcomes the world,' the joy He died that we might experience.  Faith, after all, is not an intellectual concept.  It is experiential.  A person believes she understands what love is --- until she experiences it.  And then she knows what cannot be explained.

The joy Jesus wants us to experience is one of the 'fruits' of the Holy Spirit; that is, it is the result of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us.  We cannot manufacture it, or give it to ourselves.  It is sheer gift -- and one of the signs that the Spirit of Jesus dwells within us.

If I could have anything in the world that I wanted, this is what I would ask:  that all those I love would discover the gift of Joy within themselves, that the Holy Spirit would teach them the joy that comes from being drawn into fellowship with the God who loves them without limit -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Joy is a gift that we must want if we are to experience it.  Jesus taught us to ask the Father for the "good gift" of the Holy Spirit:  Ask, Seek, Knock......If you, evil as you are, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father give the Spirit to those who ask.

To awaken a desire for the Gift of God, it often helps to know what it is we are asking FOR.  The following scriptures are a beginning.   Take a week to look up and write out each reference in a notebook.  At the end of the week, you might notice a kind of thirst welling up in your spirit -- the thirst that drove the Samaritan woman to ask and to receive the Holy Spirit:  Please, Sir, give me this water!

John 7: 38-39

Ezekiel 47:1-12

Isaiah 44:3-4

Isaiah 55:1

Isaiah 58:11

Revelation 22:1-2

Ask the Father for what you desire -- and then let's meet again next week!

To the Rescue -- Part 2

 When the enemy comes in like a flood,
The Spirit of the Lord will put him to flight.

I left off the story Friday morning, as I was facing the prospect of starting chemo.  CVS had left a message on my phone which I did not understand, as CVS is not my pharmacy.  I had understood that the chemo drug would be delivered to my house, but the message indicated that I should request it "from any pharmacy."  In my confusion, I imagined that I would have to ask for it at Walgreen's, and I woke up that morning faced with the prospect of having to ask the pharmacist about the phone call.  The idea of talking to the pharmacist about taking chemo just overwhelmed me.

I drove to a friend's house to talk to her first, hoping that would calm me before going to Walgreen's.  But after pulling into her driveway, I thought, "This is not fair; she is working (remotely)."  So I drove on.

When I got to Walgreen's, I sat in the parking lot crying.  I was just unable to go in there and talk to the pharmacist about taking chemo.  "O God," I said, "if I just had someone to talk to!"  

Suddenly, there was a knock at my window.  When I rolled it down, there stood a sweet young man (about 30+ years old. )   "Mam," he said, "I cannot go in there and leave you sitting here like this.  If you want to talk, I'm here to listen."  

Oh my God!  (spoken with all reverence)  He heard my prayer and sent me an angel, disguised as an off-shore oil worker!  This young man listened to my story wi"th compassion and offered to go into Walgreen's with me and talk to the pharmacist, something I was not yet ready to do.  Finally, he said, "Don't put yourself through this; go to the park. look at the birds and the trees.  When you feel calm, call your doctor and ask what you should do."  Why hadn't I thought of that?  

I took his advice, went to the beach, watched the clouds and the waves, and when I was ready, called my doctor.  Found out that the phone call was something of a CVS scheme, if not a scam.  I did not need to do anything at all; the medicine would be delivered to my door.

For years, I wore a wrist bracelet that said, "God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress."  Sometimes he shows up in the guise of an offshore oil-field worker!

To the Rescue!

 Go forth without fear, 
for He who created you has made you holy,
has always protected you, 
and loves you as a mother.  (Clare of Assisi)

When the enemy comes in like a flood, 

the Spirit of the Lord will put him to flight (Is. 59:19)

(Amplified Bible translation) 

Recently I found out that the lung cancer I had in 2010 has returned.  Since I am now 83, and since I have had 15 wonderful years following that bout with cancer, I decided that I would prefer to have two good years remaining to me (the cancer is slow-growing) without chemotherapy.  I could not see the option of maybe 2 years of debilitating chemo, at which time I would be 85.  Since I have osteoporosis and macular degeneration, any remaining years beyond chemo does not sound promising.  The best I could hope for might be maybe 3 more years, and the quality of those years seems doubtful.

During my first battle with cancer, the Lord took over the fight; a great peace descended on me even before I heard the diagnosis.  As I drove to the doctor's office for the results of a CT scan, I listened to Charles Stanley's talk on the radio:  How to Handle a Crisis.  The text of his sermon was Psalm 59:2 --- I will hide under the shadow of His wings until the disaster has passed me by.  The verse sustained me throughout all the episodes of surgery and recovery --- but actually, the peace had been given to me as a gift weeks before, and it never left me.  It was truely a gift from the Holy Spirit.

Once again, when I heard the latest diagnosis, I had no fear or anxiety.  I felt that God had been preparing me for the past two years for death, and I felt ready for it.  With my first visit to the oncologist, I asked her to help me navigate my death as gracefully as possible without chemotherapy.  Because of my age, she agreed with me and assured me she would do that.

Proverbs 16:9, however, sheds a different light on my determination:  A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  During the second visit to the oncologist, following a PET scan, the doctor was euphoric.  It seems that I have a rare genetic mutation in the cancer that only 15% of lung cancer patients have. "It's like finding a needle in a haystack," the doctor said excitedly.  The reason for her excitement is that there is a drug that targets that mutation, and we know that the drug destroys the tumor.  Instead of a long period of chemo by infusion, I would be able to take a pill at  home for 3 months, at the end of which the tumor could be destroyed.  I began to think that God had a better plan than I had.

However, the drug has serious side-effects which give me pause:  it attacks the liver, causes pancreatitus, bone pain, significant weight gain, swelling of the legs and feet, photosensitivity (I would not be able to work in my garden) and sensitivity to caffeine.  That's just the beginning!  I began to wonder if it's worth it, even for only 3 months.

As my doubts and fears began to grow, I spent time in adoration seeking the Lord's answer.  Before leaving last week, the last thing I wrote in my notebook was a famous quote from Julian of Norwich, given to her by Jesus in a mystical revelation:  You shall see for yourself that all things will be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

The next morning, realizing that I needed to talk to the pharmacist about this drug, I was hit with a wave of panic and fear.  Suddenly, after weeks of peaceful acceptance, I could not stop crying.  Desperate for a sense of calm, I opened one of my books at random and read the quote from Jullian of Norwich that I had written the day before.  I wanted to accept and believe, but, like Peter, I was still overwhelmed by the danger and the threat of chemo.  Finally, I decided that I needed to begin recording my blood pressure, as directed by my doctor, and I searched for a small notebook in which to record the numbers. Rummaging through my office, I came across a tiny notebook I last used in 2017.  The last entry in that notebook was --- you can guess it --- the quote from Julian of Norwich!  Slowly but surely I was beginning to believe that God was trying to tell me something (see the second quotation at the beginning of this entry).

Does God speak to us?  Maybe we are not listening or recording His voice.  

This is not the end of the story, but because of its length, I will continue in the next entry. 

The Power of the Resurrection

 So, then, what difference has the Resurrection made to us?  

Although the Gospels were written in Greek, the original Christian community preserved a few words in Jesus' original Aramaic untranslated.  Among those few treasures are His words addressed to His Father in His prayer at the Last Supper (John 17).  These words were so unusual, so new, to the Apostles that they remembered them word for word; in them, we can still hear Jesus, as it were, speaking in His own voice.

In the Old Testament, it would have been impossible for the Jew to address God as "Papa," a term of such intimacy that it would have been unseemly.  What gripped the first Christians and caused them to preserve the word as it originally sounded was that it expressed a new form of imtimacy with God belonging only to the Son.  The Jews would not even dare to pronounce the Holy Name of God, instead substituting the letters for "Lord" in their Scripture. 

All of John's Gospel,  from the beginning, shows Jesus drawing His friends into the same intimacy with God that belonged to the Son:  to all those who received Him, He gave the power to become sons/children of God -- John 1).

Not a distant, far-off God, but a Father, a Father who watches daily for the return of the prodigal and Who discards his own dignity to run down the road to embrace the return of His son.  A God who leaves heaven to go in pursuit of the lame, the blind, the leper, the sinner, the abandoned.  A God in search of Man.

After His resurrection, Jesus tells Mary Magdalene in garden, "Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet returned to the Father.  Go and tell my brothers, "I  am ascending to My Father and to your Father, to my God and to your God ."

We have to think that the very first words of someone returning from death might be the most important thing on His mind -- Go and tell my brothers......no longer strangers, but friends.... no longer distant, but family....Go and tell my brothers that I ascend to Our Father.

In Baptism, we are drawn by the Resurrected Jesus into the inner life of Christ in His relationship to His Father.  We are drawn into the very dynamics of the inner life of God, united with Christ to the Father in the love/union of the Holy Spirit.  We are no longer "following Jesus" or "imitating" Him; we are IN HIM AND HE IN US.  

We are baptized "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  Baptism into the Resurrected Christ means that we are incorporated into God's own life.  His life is our life!  Alleluia!  And the best part is that this incorporation begins now -- we need not die and go to heaven to begin living Life itself!

On the Ascension

 One of the most wonderful things about the Catholic faith is its structure:  the structure of the Mass itself, plus the structure of the liturgical seasons and feasts.  C. S. Lewis once said that in a worship service, if you do not know ahead of time what is going to happen or what is being prayed, then you are forced to listen to see if you agree with what is being said, so that you can say "Amen."

However, if you know ahead of time what is being said or prayed, then it leaves you free to enter into your own heart in response to the liturgical celebration. As you already know you can say "Amen" to the prayer, you then begin to link your own thoughts and the events of your own life to it.

Season after season, year after year, the Church follows a predictable cycle of celebrations and events from the life of Jesus:  Advent, Christmas, Ordinary Time, Lent, Easter, Pentecost, Living in the Spirit..... 

And Sunday after Sunday, we know the Mass will bring us to the foot of the cross where Jesus surrenders His entire life and being to the Father for the salvation of the world.  We know the prayers; we know the cycle of the Mass: 

the Penetential Rite -- acknowledging sin and asking for mercy; 

the Liturgy of the Word -- the readings, the homily, the Creed (I believe) and Intercessory Prayer.  

And then the Liturgy of the Eucharist ---Gathering the gifts to be offered, preparing the altar, prayer, the Sanctus (recognizing the holiness of the Lord among us), the Consecration, and the Mystery of FAith. 

Finally, the Communion Rite -- The Lord's Prayer*, the Sign of Peace*, the Agnus Dei*, and receiving the Body of Christ.  * (All the elements which must be acknowledged before approaching the altar).

While teenagers and indifferent Catholics find the repetition boring, as C.S. Lewis points out, the predictability allows us an amazing personal response to the events taking place, with the unique ability to link the events of the Mass to our own inner and personal lives, as well as to the service we extend to the world around us.

The same is true of the liturgical seasons.  As we enter into each celebration, we are invited to respond from our own perspective to the event.  And so the Church brings us yearly to the entire Word of God, both in the Scriptures and in the Life of Christ.  (By the end of each 3-year cycle, we will have covered the entire Bible in the liturgy of the Word -- and then we begin again.)

Which bring us to today's celebration of the Ascension of our Lord.  Left to a random selection of services and prayers, this is a feast we might never approach on our own.  Today, however, we ponder what ever meaning the Ascension of the Lord might have to our own lives.  Sometimes a homily might give us an Aha moment; other times, the Holy Spirit Himself, according to the divine promise, will enlighten our minds with a personal revelation.  As Bishop Barron once wrote:

Since Jesus is the Son, He is God, and it is impossible for us to adequately interpret him through our own powers of perception. We need a divine pedagogue through whom to understand what he tells us about the Father. This is the advocate we call the Holy Spirit.

So, here, after a long introduction, is one of my joyous responses to the Feast of the Ascension:  Again, Bishop Barron:  The one thing we must not do is to imagine that Jesus has gone up, up, and away from the earth, leaving us to direct our lives the best we can, while He watches from a remote distance.  Rather, He has gone into a different dimension that trascends our universe, but in a sense,  is closer to us than the world around us.  Living now in a spiritual dimension, He can direct this world through those who are "in" Him in the Spirit.  He is a God ever closer to us in all the events of our life now.  (Note: not a direct quote, but a putting together of ideas Barron has expressed on the topic)

Who do we pray to on a regular basis -- a remote God in the heavens above, who can barely hear our squeaky prayer?   Or a God ever closer to us than our own thoughts and breaths? A God who enters into our world to save us at every moment?  A God who moans with us in our sorrow and grief and who offers us a way out of our troubles?  A God who says to us, "I am with you, even to the end of the world"?

Viva la Ascension!