Hunger and Thirst

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they shall be filled (Matt. 5:6).

 

I suspect that we shall all be filled with the things for which we hunger and thirst.  Many have said, "Be careful what you pray for; you might get it."  In other words, God will give us the deepest desires of our hearts.  The problem is that our hearts are not pure; what we are hungering for may not be what we need at the deepest level of our existence.  The "natural man," the one who tries to walk in his own strength, by the light of his own understanding, without guidance from the Holy Spirit, and without the light of God's grace, does not know what is truly good.  That is the story of the two trees in the Garden:  the Tree of Life (Wisdom) and the Tree of Knowledge--or what we can see, hear, taste, smell, and comprehend with our natural understanding. 

 

When Jesus taught in parables, not all grasped the meaning of what He taught.  The disciples came to Him privately:  "Explain to us the meaning of the parable," they asked.  "To you is given understanding of the kingdom of heaven," He told them.

 

As I continue in the Confessions of St. Augustine, I see the journey that all of us take from grasping with the intellect to hungering with the spirit for what we cannot reach with the body or the mind.  I see him failing for a long time to grasp the great truth and light for which his spirit hungered all his life.  But toward the end of the Confessions, I see one who has been grasped by the Lord; I see one whose hunger and thirst for the Divine is being both satisfied and increased at the same time.  I see someone whose prayer captures all that is in my heart.  I see purity, humility, and truth in his final prayers.  I am quoting excerpts below of his reflections before the Lord:

 

[He questions why he is writing what he wants to say to the Lord]:  not, of a truth, that Thou might learn [his desires] through me [for God already knows what is in his heart] but to stir up mine own and my readers' devotions towards Thee, that we may all say, "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised."..for love of Thy love do I this.  

 

[Note:  the reason I love this reflection is that it expresses why I want to write -- for love of God's love, to stir up my own and my readers' devotions towards the Lord, to increase our hunger and thirst for the living God. And to that end, I ask always that my own heart be purified from other and baser desires -- to write for recognition (in truth, I really don't care who reads and who doesn't read my writings; that is entirely in the hands of God, for His purposes only) -- to write to be "right;" (at times, I write to sort out what I believe, what truth has been given to me, and to oppose those who teach things that are false (More on this later).  But, like Michelangelo chipping away at a marble block until his skill reveals the angel within it, the Lord continues to chip away at my own impurities until He reveals His own image therein.]

 

O Lord, my God, give ear unto my prayer, and let Thy mercy hearken unto my desire: because it is anxious not for myself alone, but would serve brotherly charity; and Thou seest my heart, that so it is...circumcise from all rashness and all lying both my inward and outward lips; let Thy Scriptures be my pure delights; let me not be deceived in them, nor deceive out of them.

 

O Lord my God, Light of the blind, and Strength of the weak; yea also Light of those that see, and Strength of the strong; hearken unto my soul, and hear it crying out of the depths.  For if Thine ears be not with us in the depths also, whither shall we go? whither cry?

 

Grant thereof a space for our meditations in the hidden things of Thy law, and close it not against us who knock. For not in vain would Thou have the darksome secrets of so many pages written; nor are those forests without their harts which retire therein and range and walk; feed, lie down, and ruminate.  Perfect me, O Lord, and reveal them unto me.  Behold, Thy voice is my joy; Thy voice exceeds the abundance of pleasures.  Give what I love: for I do love; and this has Thou given: forsake not Thy own gifts, nor despise Thy green herb that thirsts.

 

I love, love, love Augustine's hunger and thirst and the ways he expresses it.  And I love, love, love those who, like Augustine, hunger and thirst for righteousness, for I know the Lord is close to those who hunger and thirst for what only He can give them.  These are my brothers and sisters, my family.

 

So as not to overwhelm anyone with too much of Augustine's hunger and thirst, I will wait until tomorrow to continue his prayers.