What Are We Eating?

You are what you eat.

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There is a battle of two wolves inside us all.  One is evil.  It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego.  The other is good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.  The wolf that wins? The one you feed  (Cherokee Proverb).

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Some years ago, one of the teachers at the college came to my office.  She told me a rather involved story that led up to her not being re-hired.  Since she was a first-year teacher, and did not have tenure yet, the college was within its legal rights not to re-hire her without explanation.  However, the circumstances behind the event were strange and relied on the gossip of another teacher who had the supervisor's ear.  From the story I heard, I believed an injustice had been done to this teacher.  Her question to me was, "Do you think I should sue the college?"  (Her family was urging her to do so, but she was not sure she wanted to do it.)

 

My question to her was, "Would it be worth the 3-to-5 years or longer that you would have to nurse this injustice, that you would have to re-hash and rehearse it within you?  In the meantime, you could not move on with your life and start over, because you would be tangled up in this mess and it would occupy your mind and emotions.  Even if you got another job, you could not give yourself fully and joyfully to it with this lawsuit hanging over your head."

 

The teacher decided to let go of the injustice and move on with her life.  I know that there are times when it is not advisable to "let go," when the perpetrator must be brought to justice -- but in this case, I doubted that she would win the case, and she would have wasted five years of her life trying to do so.  Then the injustice would have been doubled or tripled.

 

I was angry at the supervisor for being so stupid, but I was glad this teacher had decided not to feed her soul with her anger for years to come.  For we become what we eat, spiritually.  Every time we rehearse a wrong done to us, we deepen its imprint in our brains and the wound in our hearts.  One reason I love Scripture so much is that it has literally "changed my brain" from patterns of worry and anxiety to patterns of confidence and hope. 

 

I remember once being asked (back in the 70's), "Who is God to you?"   Fortunately, I had overnight to think about the question.  The next day, I came back and said, "He is the God of my past, and occasionally, I can see Him in the present moment ---but He is not the God of my future.  I worry about my children; I worry about what might happen to the economy, that we might have famines" (I had indoctrinated myself with the prophecies of Edgar Cayce), etc.  I told the questioner that I could not trust God for the future. 

 

The first thing that happened after that session was that I learned to wake up each morning with gratitude -- I have written about this before, when a cardinal on my windowsill taught me that I did not have to solve every problem that faced me; all I had to do was to "wake up and sing" each morning.  Shortly after that, I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and began to devour Scripture.  I read it, ate it, digested it, and read it again.  Then I began to study it, to reflect on it, to journal about it.  I was feeding a life-long hunger with real food at last!  Slowly, but surely, my mind-set began to change.  There is a verse that says, "I cried out to the Lord, and he heard my cry; from all my fears He delivered me."  Looking back on my life, I realize that is exactly what happened -- the Lord delivered me from all my fears and anxieties.  Now He is the God of my future, and He is the God of my children's futures also.  I rejoice before Him; even though I do not know what tomorrow may bring, I know it is in His hands. 

 

The Book of Philippians says this:  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Finally...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy---think about such things...and the God of peace will be with you (4:4-9).

 

When we are anxious and upset and worried, it is not always possible for us to drag ourselves out of the rut we are in -- the continuous loop that runs through our brains.  That is why the intervention of Scripture is necessary during those times.  If we rely on ourselves for "nirvana" or "positive thinking," we do not get very far at all.  But if we allow the Spirit of the Lord to direct our minds and hearts to the Scriptures we need, we find our minds changing and our hungry hearts satisfied "with the finest of wheat."