Repentance is "letting go"

A couple of years ago, during a visit from my daughter-in-law, she happened to see some of my nice glassware stashed away in an upper cabinet.  "Why are you hiding these and not using them every day?" she asked me.  I looked at what I had been using every day--an odd, mis-matched assortment of old glassware that I had had for years.  The "good" stuff had belonged to my mother, so I was storing it, not using it.  I was used to the old, scratched, glassware, so it had not occurred to me that I should get rid of it.

With my daughter-in-law's help, I cleaned out all the old, non-attractive glassware and brought out the prettier glasses for everyday use.  Now, everytime I open the cabinet, I am grateful for her artist's eye for the everyday things.

It's hard for us to let go of what we have been used to relying on in our "old" natures---the anger, the rebellion, the selfishness---even if it's not very attractive or useful anymore.  Those are the tools that we have used so long that they seem to us 'normal.'   It takes a fresh eye to see what might be hidden possibilities in our personalities:  why don't you try this?

When we finally allow the Spirit of God to enter our personalites, He begins to point out areas that need to go.  Of course, these are our old security blankets; without them we are going to feel defenseless.  How will we ever face dangerous situations without them?  And, like the semi-fragile glassware in the upper cabinets, we may be afraid that we will break if we don't defend ourselves with the old familiar patterns.

What God is saying to us is this:  If you throw out the old familiar securities, I will give you my own inner life.  You will not be afraid of the "terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day" (Ps. 91:5).

We tend to use the patterns we learned as children to defend ourselves, to keep ourselves from being broken, just as I used the old glassware to protect those I had hidden from sight and use.  But God is all about bringing out what is hidden and protected from our inner selves---the beauty, the fragility, the valuable!  He is not satisfied with our defended and protected personalities, because all of our energy is going to protecting ourselves and not blossoming outwards.

Meditating, slowly re-reading and digesting Ps. 91, is a wonderful way to begin letting go of our own defenses, of bringing out the hidden treasures of our souls and putting away the scratched shields that are keeping us safe from harm.  Why hold onto our anger, when it accomplishes nothing?  Why not surrender it into the hands of One who knows how to protect the fragile glassware hidden in our personalities?