"I Am Not a Sinner"

I have heard that in ancient Egypt, during the times of the pyramids, that the Pharaohs would be entombed with something called The Book of the Dead or otherwise The Book of the Great Awakening.  In this book were hundreds of "rules" or maxims that the soul would have to navigate at the last judgment before he could enter the abode of the dead -- something akin to the Elysian Fields concept of the Greeks.  These rules stood behind all of Egyptian civilization for hundreds of years.

Essentially, the soul of the dead would have to proclaim, "I have not sinned" before each one of these rules before he would be allowed to enter the Great Awakening.

I am quite sure that the Book of the Dead was probably a deterrent to bad behavior for the ancient Egyptians; I am not so sure that it serves such a useful purpose in today's society, where the fear of the Lord has gone somewhat out of favor among men.

While human nature would prefer to claim "I have not sinned" in regard to either Egyptian standards or those of the 10 Commandments, the truth is that "we have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans).  The problem is being convinced in our innermost hearts that we ARE truly sinners.  There is always a "reason" (excuse) for our bad behaviors, for our not being the image and likeness of God.  While it is easy to acknowledge that we are not perfect, we don't really see ourselves as "sinners" either.  After all, we are not really as bad as "some people we know."

But Jesus told us the parable of the publican and the sinner.  The one who was justified was the one who stood at the back of the synagogue, hardly daring to lift his eyes to heaven: Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I have sinned.  The one who proclaimed "I am not that bad....I am not like this poor sinner in front of me...." went away not justified and not receiving mercy.  After all, he didn't really need it!

One of the first movements of grace in us is the realization of our sinfulness.  It is the office of the Holy Spirit to "convict the world of guilt in regard to sin..." (John 16).  And the awakening of our guilt comes along with the Presence of Jesus Christ in our souls. Peter's reaction to the Presence of the Lord was to say, "Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man!"

The closer the Lord comes to us, the more aware we become of our sinfulness.  On the surface, or before our "conversion," we tend to think we are "not so bad" because we are not robbing banks or molesting children.  We tend to our business, don't drink to excess, and obey traffic laws for the most part.  Little do we glimpse into the depths of our soul, where the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Holiness, dwells. Once we begin to enter into the inner sanctuary, we begin to see who we really are, in the eyes of God --- eternally beloved, but also irremediably stained and crippled by sin.

I love, love, love the 7th and 8th chapter of Romans, where Paul says, "I don't understand myself at all -- the very thing I say I will not do is the very thing I end up doing.  And the thing I say I will do is the very thing I end up not doing.....unhappy man that I am!  I am essentially flawed at the core of my being!  (complete and unabashed paraphrase here).  

But there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.  The Law of the Spirit of Life has set me free from the law of sin and death!

Before the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, we were ALL under the law of sin and death.  But now His own power works daily in us to overcome our sinful natures!  Thanks be to God when we can finally begin to see how sinful we are --- it means that the Holy Spirit is awakening us to the power of the Resurrected Christ to overcome death in our souls!

"Can You Hear Me Now?"

Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire....He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God (Jn. 8: 42 and 47).

Faith comes by hearing the message, and the message is heard by the word of Christ (Romans 10:17).

Jesus told Nicodemus, "Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."  Obviously, from the words of Jesus in John 8, not only can we not see the kingdom until we are born again, but neither can we hear the words that God speaks until we are born again.  Jesus told the Pharisees that they were "unable" to hear because they belonged to their "father" the devil and wanted to carry out their father's desire.  By implication, then, if we are born again, "not of a father's desire, but of God," according to the first chapter of John, we will want to do our Father's desire....and we will hear the words of God.

In the New Testament, two words in the Greek are translated exactly the same in English; both "logos" and "rhema" in the Greek are translated "word" in English.  "Logos" in Greek refers to the "Divine Expression."  In the first chapter of John, it says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  Jesus is the Divine Expression of the Father; by Him and through Him all things have life, whether they recognize Him or not.  Whether we are able to "hear" what God says, however, depends on whether we have been born again of water and the Spirit of Truth.

When the book of Romans says that the message is heard by the word of Christ, the Greek word used is "rhema" -- the living and active spoken word.  We are "born again" by the spoken word of Jesus Christ.  As He spoke to Lazarus in the tomb, "Lazarus, Come forth," so also He speaks into the darkness of our dead hearts, "________, come forth," and we awaken to new life.  At one point, we were "dead" to God and "alive" to sin, but by spoken word of Christ in our hearts, we are now dead to sin and alive to God.

If the Divine Expression, or the Word of God, seems "dead" to us, we need to go to the living and active word of God -- Jesus Christ-- asking that our ears and eyes be opened to the kingdom of God.  The kingdom was present on earth with the Presence of Jesus Christ, and yet so many could not see it or hear it in Him.  They did not "belong to God," and so they fulfilled the words of Jeremiah: "You foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear (5:21).

Through Him, we are made children of God and learn to hear the words that God speaks.

I used to wonder how people "got faith" when I heard sermons about how important faith is.  "How do you "get faith?" I wondered.  Now I know that we will believe the words of God only after our ears have been opened by the Holy Spirit poured into our hearts by the word of Christ.  It's a living, loving thing -- rhema -- not a dead word that is spoken to us by Jesus.  If we want Scripture to come alive to us, let us go to the only One who is able to open the book to us -- Jesus Christ.  If we ask, He will not refuse -- He will baptize us with the Holy Spirit and with fire (Matthew 3:11).  We will hear the words He speaks and come out of our graves.

The Resurrected Life

How grateful I am for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!

Jesus promised us that He would be with us always, even to the consummation of the world. The Resurrection makes that possible --- and believeable!  He "tabernacled" with us, dwelt with us face to face, so that we could see Him, touch Him, love Him, and speak with Him as a man speaks with a friend.  And He said He would never leave us orphans.

The human stories of the Old Testament were a testimony in themselves:  God is present -- and acting -- in human history.  He is Emmanuel -- God with us!  But still, it was hard for us to believe and to trust.  Maybe, after all, these were "just stories," as some of my friends attest.  Maybe God was "with" Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but maybe not "with " us in the same way.  

But as John says, now we have seen Him, have beheld the glory of the only-begotten Son, Who has revealed to us the love of the Father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, and even more, not in a parable at all, but in the reality of the crucifixion.  The Son of God crucified for love of us!  We have seen it for ourselves.  In fact, we have even taken part in it by our sins.  

But the story has another ending in the Resurrection.  Now He is truly with us always.  He is with me today, in my very human life, in my comings and my goings, in my staying at home and working in my garden.  In the cooking and the precious little cleaning I do.  He is praying in me to the Father, and breathing in me His very personal Spirit, making me see the world and the people around me through His eyes.

His death was in fact my death -- the death of "the empty way of life handed down to us by our fathers, the death of the Adam nature in my soul, the nature which caused me to see others as "other," as different, the nature which always wanted to hide from the good God Who loves me, the nature who constantly chooses the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Now He lives in me, daily putting to death all that is not the image and likeness of God in me, and daily raising in me the new creation, created to be like God.  When I run from the Presence of God, He gently goes in search of me, bringing me face to face with Father Who loves me.

Psalm 103 says, "Praise the Lord, o my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.....and forget not all His benefits:

He forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases;

he redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion.

He satisfies your desires with good things,

so that your youth is renewed like the eagles's.

The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.

Here the writer is speaking to his very soul --- that is, to his own heart, mind, and will -- and reminding himself of all that God is doing for him on a daily, even on a moment by moment, basis.  This, to me, is the Resurrected Life of Jesus in us.  Every single day, every single moment, He lives within me, "working righteousness" and healing, teaching, consoling, encouraging, satisfying my desires, renewing my youth like the eagle's.  The ministry He carried out on earth 2020 years ago, He continues daily in my soul -- as if I were the only person He needed to tend to.  And in the process, He transforms me by the power of His resurrection from an earthly to a heavenly creature!

What return can we make to Him for all He is doing for us?  We can allow Him to continue to do in us all that He wishes to do! 

Man Does Not Live By Bread Alone

As far as I know, my husband and I are the only Catholics on our block.  We are surrounded by Southern Baptists --- wonderful people who would do anything for you.  Most of them attend not only church on Sunday, but also Bible study during the week.  Their faith means everything to them, and they would love for us to attend their church.  

In spite of all of this, last Sunday, as I walked out of the house to attend Mass, I experienced a profound sense of sorrow and compassion for my neighbors because I was going to receive the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in Communion, and I knew that no matter how powerful the music and the preaching at their church that day, they would not be receiving the Eucharist.

"Man does not live by bread alone!"  What more does he need?  We all know that children who do not receive love fail to thrive, despite being fed regularly.  Even animals need love and attention, and their joy overflows when they know we love them as well as feed them.  An animal in a shelter needs a family; they need adoption, even though they are being cared for physically.

Jesus knew that we would not only crave, but need, the same love and attention He lavished on His apostles and friends while He was on earth.  We were made for adoption into a family -- the family of God.  We were made to share in the Divine Life of the Trinity, and this is what He died to give us.  Although fully human, He also fully lived the Divine Life -- the love and fellowship and joy of the Father and the Holy Spirit.  We were designed for the same experience -- knowing ourselves to be the "beloved," and receiving the joy of adoption:  "Son, all that I have is yours!"

How is it possible for man, who lives exteriorly, to enter into the divine presence and to enjoy the love of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit?  Christ "gave Himself" as our health, as our life.  He put to death on the cross our human nature alienated from fellowship with God, in order to rise as a New Creation -- a man risen from the dead -- and able to enter into Love.  In the Eucharist, we receive -- become one with -- the Risen Christ.  He does not become like we are, but instead, He gradually transforms our mortal bodies into His Risen Body.  

As we die to sin, we are transformed "from glory to glory," able to experience the same fellowship of the Father that He experienced in His mortal body.  He is the only - begotten Son; we are "sons by adoption."  The bread that He gives us is our very life -- not only our physical lives, but our spiritual, emotional, mental, psychological lives.  We experience joy because we have been accepted -- adopted-- into a Family.  We are able to love others as Jesus loves them because they too have been children of God. 

No matter how interesting or uninteresting our church service, it is the same Jesus who gives Himself to us at Mass.  It is His work in us, to change our mortal bodies into His glorious one, that ultimately counts.  We leave Mass changed, whether the music is good or poor, whether the sermon is fantastic or dull!  Christ Himself has become part of us; we have become part of Him!

I wish.....wish......wish with all my heart that my family, friends, and neighbors could come with me and receive this incredible Gift of Eternal LIfe -- to know the Father as the Son knows Him because the Son is in us and transforming us into His very own Person.  We live not by bread alone, but by every Word that comes forth from Him and enters into us -- and by the love and joy He communicates to us by His Presence in us!

To Know Christ Jesus

Now this is eternal life:  that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent (Jn. 17:3).

For You granted Him authority over all people that He might give eternal life to all those You have given Him (Jn. 17: 2).

If you knew Me, you would know my Father also (Jn. 8: 19).

No one has ever seen God, but God the only Son, who is at the Father's side, has made Him known (Jn. 1:18).

It is clear from the Gospel of John that once we "know" God the Father, we have "eternal life."  Clearly also, the "knowledge" Jesus refers to is not intellectual knowledge, or "knowing about" the Father, for even the religious leaders of His day knew about God --- and yet, Jesus accused them of NOT knowing either Him or the Father:  "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also."  "You are unable to hear what I say...The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God" (Jn. 8: 19 and 43 and 47). 

In the Hebrew language, "knowledge" was equivalent to "experience," rather than to intellectual understanding alone.  This is why tasting from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was forbidden in the Garden. Our God is not opposed to intellectual pursuit; He gave us a mind which seeks understanding of the world around us and even of spiritual truth.  What He does not want us "tasting" is the experience of evil, for once we taste evil, it has a hold on us.  In fact, the image of "eating" or "tasting" forbidden fruit is exactly right:  whatever we eat enters into us and becomes part of us.  We cannot "undo" it because the experience is now part of our DNA --- and, in fact, we unwittingly and unwillingly pass it on to the next generation as part of their inheritance from us.

The only remedy for the experience of evil that has become part of us is death; it is the only way to get rid of the part of us that would control us.  St. Paul calls it "the law of sin and death that rules over (our) members, overruling the law of God within our minds" (Romans 7).  Our only hope to be free of that "law of sin and death" is to be re-created, a "new creation," no longer bound by our taste or experience of evil.

To know Christ (Savior) Jesus to be made new, to have a new birth, freed from the law of sin and death that reigns in us.  It is to Know God -- that is, to experience God the Father --- and to know (experience) ourselves as children of God.

So, of course, then the question is, "How do we KNOW Jesus Christ?"  How do we EXPERIENCE Jesus as living in us, bringing us to new life (eternal life)?  How do we KNOW God?

Jesus Himself gives us the answer in Matthew 7 and Luke 11:  Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you....If you, then, ….know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?

The Holy Spirit is the key to knowing Jesus.  Jesus is the key to knowing the Father.  And knowing the Father...and Him who has been sent by the Father....is Eternal Life!

If we know nothing else in this life, our salvation depends upon knowing Jesus Christ --- not as a rabbi, not as a great teacher -- but as the Source and Wellspring in us of eternal life.  This is my prayer for my children, for my grandchildren, for my entire family, and for everyone I know  -- to know Christ Jesus and to taste the joy of eternal life, even now, in this lifetime and forever in heaven.

Who Do You Say That I Am?

(With Apologies to C.S. Lewis)

Recently someone said to me, "I believe in Jesus as a rabbi."  Because we were in the midst of another topic, I did not interrupt the conversation to say, "I'm sorry!" or "That's too bad."  And yet...the omission still haunts me.  I cannot think of anything more important to talk about, or any conversation more vital than this one.  

Every one of us has the right to be wrong or to be unenlightened on any topic, and still to be loved with our whole hearts and minds.  And this, it seems to me, is what we are saying to Jesus when we consider Him "a good man" or a worthy Rabbi:  I love you with my whole heart; no one has ever spoken as You have. Your words are spirit and truth, and I want to take them as the guide for my life.  But on this one aspect, You are mistaken.  You are not truly the Son of God come into the world.  You are a creature like the rest of us, and indeed, You and the Father will not come to dwell in us if we keep your words.

If Christ has not come to transform us by His Spirit, if He has no efficacy in us beyond His Words spoken 2000 years ago;  if it is up to us to listen to Him and to imitate Him, then we are beyond hopeless.  If the Jews could not keep the Law unto righteousness for 2000 years, how then should we think our goodness and strength is greater than theirs?  That might be the greatest arrogance of all!

As C.S. Lewis so brilliantly put it: Jesus did not give us that option -- to say that He was a good man, but mistaken in His belief that He was the Son of God.  Either He is within us today, doing the same mission given to Him by the Father --- healing, teaching, transforming us by the Spirit -- or He WAS simply another great teacher or rabbi in a long line of great teachers and rabbis.  Perhaps He was the greatest Prophet of all --- but He was still mistaken in His Divine Origin.

And why is that "too bad" if this is our belief?  Because then He has no power to transform us by His Presence in us.  His Resurrection Life in us is ineffective, and His Words in us have no power to effect what they say.  Like all men, we are the most hopeless of creatures, because then it is entirely up to us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and DO the things He said to us --- and if there is any truth in the world, it is simply that we have in ourselves no power to carry out the things we know we should do.

St. Paul said it well in Romans 7:  in my mind, I agree with the law, but in my body, the very thing I say I will do is the thing I do not do, and the thing I say I will not do is the thing I end up doing after all.  Unhappy man that I am!  Who will release me from the power of sin and death that reigns in my body?  ……..   Praise be to God, it has been done in me!  The Spirit of God has released me from the law of sin and death and put a new law in my members...the law of God!  Now I am a new creature, no longer subject to the law of sin and death.   (paraphrased and combined -- but read Romans 7 and 8).

If Jesus Christ is just a rabbi with wise words, He does not have the power today to make new creatures of us, capable of DOING the things of the Spirit and becoming sons of God, therefore making null and void all the words of the New Testament!  There is no Holy Spirit dwelling within us to overcome sin and death, and we are the most miserable of men, for our faith is founded upon our own power to make ourselves "good."  

O unhappy men that we are if Jesus is a Rabbi and not the Son of God!  

Learning to Pray

O my God, I do not know my right hand from my left,

nor do I know the end from the beginning.

I do not know how to pray to You,

You, the Alpha and the Omega--

the Beginning and the End of all Truth,

of all Creation.

But I trust

That You, the Incarnate Word,

Who takes on flesh,

will train my mind and my will

to know You and to choose You 

above all else.

No one has ever seen God,

but His Word was made flesh and dwelt among us

that we might see His Glory and understand

the Incomprehensible,

the Unknowable,

the Holy and Pure of Spirit.

He has made known to us

the Invisible Godhead

because He is the Exact Image

of the Invisible God.

And He will continue to make known to us

the Love of the Father,

Who speaks in us

His Son,

and Who breathes in us

His Spirit.