Living Providentially

 Someone once asked me, "What does it mean to be 'poor in spirit'?  That is a question I have been pondering for years, actually.  But recently, a friend said to me, "I think you live very providentially."  Again, that remark caused me to pause and consider what he meant.  And I'm beginning to think that the answer to that question is the clue to the first!

So, when I first started treatment for cancer almost a year ago, the package information with my chemo pill said that this medicine might cause swelling of the ankles and legs.  Sure enough!  From the very beginning, I've experienced swollen ankles, feet, and legs --- sometimes worse than others, but at the end of every day, my ankles look like bagels. My doctor keeps recommending compression socks -- a real test for someone who grew up barefoot at every opportunity!  (I still kick off my shoes the moment i get in the house.)  I have come to accept this condition as my new reality, even though I have been off chemo for about 3-4 months now; the swelling has never subsided.  

Although I have learned to live with the condition, I am getting ready for a 13-hour plane trip to Japan next week, and I figured that will probably put me over the top with swollen legs, ankles, and feet.  So last week, for the first time, I asked God to let me know if there were any solution to this condition.  The very next day, my sister called about the trip (she will be going also), and I sort of complained about the swelling, mentioning that it was bound to get worse with travel.

She told me about a product she started using after knee replacement surgery, when her swelling refused to go down within the usual time period: Lymphgo!  (This is not an ad for Lymphgo....but she told me that within 24 hours of starting it, she saw results.)  Nothing works that fast!  However, what I am doing is not working either, so I ordered the product for both myself and my husband.  Surprise!  Within 24 hours, I began to see a difference.  After two days, I saw a huge difference for both of us. Could this be such a fast answer to my prayer?  It's hard to believe, but I have to believe what I am experiencing!

Is this what it means to "live providentially"?  My answer to the first question was that being "poor in spirit" meant to have no other resource but God.  And my meditation book this morning says that there are many ways of being "poor in spirit" --- chronic illness, disability, grief, depression, loneliness, regret ---the list is endless.  And all forms of pain  can cause us to turn in on ourselves, to hoard our personal resources for self-preservation.  But what if, instead, we gave from our poverty?  And what if our poverty caused us to turn to God for a solution?

Psalm 46 says, God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress. Maybe that's our answer to both questions!