But God....

Three years ago today, a surgeon sent me home to die.  After reviewing the results of my PET scan, he concluded that I had cancer in both lungs and there was nothing he could do.  "Chemotherapy is not effective with this kind of cancer," he told me, "and it has spread to both lungs.  There is nothing I can do."

But God had another idea.  I had seen the surgeon on a Friday afternoon, and he sent me home.  Nevertheless, I had perfect peace.  My husband and I shed a few tears when we got home, and held each other, but my peace was not disturbed -- even though I knew I was going to die. 

A few weeks previously, on February 22, my doctor had told me I had cancer.  But God had prepared me for this diagnosis at the end of January, even before I had had a CAT scan. ( That's another story.)  The reading from God Calling for Feb. 22 was this:

You must trust Me wholly.  This lesson has to be learned  You shall be helped, you shall be led, guided, continually.  The children of Israel would log before have entered the Promised Land--only their doubts and fears continually drove them back into the wilderness.  Remember always, doubts delay.  Are you trusting all to Me or not?

I have told you how to live and you must do it.  My children, I love you.  Trust My tender Love.  It will never fail you, but you must learn not to fail it.

Oh! could you see, you would understand.  You have much to learn in turning out fear and being at peace.  All your doubts arrest My work.  You must not doubt.  I died to save you from sin and doubt and worry.  You must believe in Me absolutely.

 

And part of the reading for the next day, "The Secret of Healing," was this:  Never forget that real healing of body, mind, and spirit comes from within, from the close loving contact your spirit with My Spirit.

 

It was not hard to trust God in this situation, because He had already done all the necessary work in my spirit ahead of time.  The next few days, I hardly thought at all about having cancer; it just seemed that I didn't need to worry about it.  I had already, since the end of January, begun cleaning things out of the attic in preparation for my death so that my kids would have less clutter to deal with.  But other than that, my life went on as usual.

 

Then, on Tuesday afternoon, following my visit to the surgeon on the previous Friday, he called me.  He told me that my pulmonologist did not believe that I had cancer in the left lung, despite the reading on the PET scan, but regardless, the pulmonologist wanted the right lung attended to.  So the surgeon agreed to operate on both lungs.  That Thursday, I underwent surgery, spent six weeks in recovery and here I am today.

 

The doctor said I would die...But God had another idea.....He told my pulmonologist something else.  How grateful I am!  And He protected my heart and mind with His perfect peace while He was working out His plans for me.  How grateful I am!  Today, I go for my 3rd year follow-up scan.  No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I am humbly grateful and joyful that God's plans for me can only be good and not evil (Jer. 31:11).  

Driver's ED

"Move over," says Jesus to me, "let me drive this vehicle.  You keep running into things and making me nervous.  You're talking to Me as you drive, but you don't know where you are going and you keep taking your eyes off the road as you get distracted by things on the sidelines.  Pulling you out of the ditches of your life is getting pretty old here, though I am willing to keep doing it."

"No, no, Lord; I really think I've got it this time.  I know I've messed up before, but now I'm on the right road (I can feel it), and with You sitting in the back seat giving directions, I'm pretty sure I know how to drive now."

"Okay," He tells me.  "Go ahead."

On the old familiar roads, I've kind of figured out how to navigate around the roadblocks by just ignoring them.  It's the new roads, the new relationships that throw me.  I try to drive carefully, but since I don't know what to expect, I find myself running off the road once again.  Still, I like being in control of my own life; I enjoy driving, even when I repeatedly crash into other cars and street signs.
"Ha!" I say to myself; "they shouldn't have been in my way.  Don't they know enough to move?"

"It's not my fault, Lord. I was minding my own business, and they ran into me!"

"Get in the back seat," He says.  "Let Me drive."

I'm really thinking about it.  Hopefully, I won't kill anyone before then.

The Ultimate Parable

Every time I use Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, I am both amazed and awed.  I would love to know the history of how this work came into existence.  Who on earth was inspired to begin such a monumental task, and how on earth did he ever believe that it could be done?  I am profoundly grateful that someone did not think this task was impossible, and that he was willing to undertake it.  And I say a prayer of thanksgiving every time I use the reference.

But there is another way of finding things in the Bible, a way for which I have also come to be grateful over the years.  As a child, my family owned some great 12 - volume set of encyclopedias, and whenever I had to look up something for school, I would pull the appropriate volume off the shelf and begin searching for the subject I needed.  As I got close to the target, I would slow down and begin to peruse everything close to the the target word.  It was so much fun 'getting to' my destination, because reading everything close to it was a revelation of things I had not previously learned.  It was as if I had opened a door to a world previously unknown, and it was a magical world to be explored. 

The same is true of the dictionary:  whenever I needed to look up a word, I would go slowly and read words that were close to my target, discovering things I had not previously known.  I would look at the illustrations close by and read their explanations.  Before television was interesting enough to fascinate me, the encyclopedia and the dictionary were worlds to explore.  The electronic age has put much at our fingertips, but it has also eliminated the journey to find what we are looking for. 

Whenever I need to locate something in the Bible today, I can use Strong's Concordance and go immediately to the spot, or, knowing the approximate location of what I need, I can go there and begin a search by paging through things close by.  If I am not the under pressure of a time limit, this is often my preferred search method, because I find so many wonderful and delightful passages while I am looking for the one I want.  And here's the "kicker" in this method:  I cannot tell you how many times the Holy Spirit has shown His pinpoint spotlight on one particular passage while I am searching for another one.  This is for you! is the Voice of the Spirit and the witness in my heart as the words seem to leap off the page.  I was looking for something else, but the Spirit uses the search to show me what I actually need to hear, know, and take to heart at that moment.

Anyone who has ever had that experience knows what I am talking about.  Suddenly, the search comes to a halt, as the Spirit of God begins moving in my heart and mind.  My heart is pierced with the truth that I cannot deny, and my soul weeps at the entrance of Truth.  I recognize the Voice of the Most High, who can neither deceive nor be deceived, and I recognize the Truth of the the One Who "reveals everything I have ever done," in the words of the the woman at the well.  It is a moment when the Holy One confronts my soul; I know Him and He knows me.

This moment of conviction by the Holy Spirit is one of the sweetest moments in my entire history.  It cannot be manufactured, generated by myself, or faked.  I stand before Absolute Truth, and He sees me, just as He saw Abraham, Moses, and Jesus.  I know Him, and He knows me.  Jesus said that when the Comforter comes, "He will convict the world of sin, because they do not know Me."  [To 'know' means to experience, to embrace, to take in, to be united with, to believe and trust in -- not to know in the sense of abstract reasoning.]

To the extent that Jesus does not rule our thoughts, words, and actions, we are in sin -- but our sin is such a part of us that we think it is 'normal,' not sinful.  It takes the Holy Spirit's action to convict us of sin, for us to see it as sin, and He often uses the words of Scripture to reveal to us the mind of God, so that we no longer see things from the natural man, but from the perspective of the man of God, Jesus Christ. 

When we open the pages of Scripture, we think we are "looking things up."  But it is a dangerous journey to undertake if we do not want to be confronted by the Living Christ and the Spirit of the Most High God who is at the same time looking for us.

Reporting for Work

I report for work each morning around 4:30, give or take an hour each way -- my Boss is very understanding.  When I show up, He says, "Grab a cup of coffee and sit down; let's talk."  Sometimes we begin with my telling Him what's on my mind, and sometimes, by His telling me what's on His.  We sit together until there is a communion of spirit, until there is no need for words anymore, until we are both on the same page.  Sometimes He shows me something one of His employees has written, something He knows will encourage and strengthen me, or bring me peace.  He is constantly enlighening my understanding, and pouring His own peace into my heart.

Today, He reminds me:

Refuse to worry!  In this world, there will always be something enticing you to worry.  That is the nature of a fallen, fractured planet: things are not as they should be.  So the temptation to be anxious is constantly with you, trying to worm its way into your mind.  The best defense is continual communication with Me, richly seasoned with thanksgiving.  Awareness of My Presence fills your mind with Light and Peace, leaving no room for fear.  This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see problems from My perspective.  Live close to Me! Together we can keep the wolves of worry at bay (Jesus Calling: March 4).

 

I ask Him to take my children and friends into His place of business and to direct them as they work, and I ask Him to show me what I need to be doing for the day.  "Stay in touch," He says; "the information will come to you on a need-to-know basis.  Here's my Blackberry/Spirit; you can always reach Me on this."

 

I get up and go about my business with a smile; the Boss is here, and He is able to make all things work together unto my good (Romans 8:28).

 



An eye-opening experience

Yesterday, almost as an afterthought, I wrote that it would be an eye-opening experience to interview people who have heard God speaking to them, one way or another.  Then, later in the day, at a book-signing, I met a woman who told me a chilling story about the very thing I had written -- God  speaking and directing her after Katrina.  It was hard for me to hear her soft voice in the noisy environment, so I am not sure I have all the details correct, but in essence, the story was as follows: 

This woman had lived in Lakeview before Katrina hit.  Anyone living in New Orleans knows about the levee break in Lakeview and Lake Pontchartrain moving into the streets of that area and then into all of New Orleans itself.  The water covered entirely all of the Lakeview houses; many people took refuge on the roofs and were saved if they lived in two-story homes.  Those who had one-story homes were not so fortunate. 

After Katrina, this woman had gone back several times to rescue and retrieve whatever possessions she could find.  Some things were found scattered around the house, on the ground and in the neighborhood, left as the waters retreated three weeks later.  But of course, most things had been carried off forever by the waters of Lake Pontchartrain.  This woman told me that she had promised herself if she had not found anything else after searching for two straight weeks, that she would give up and allow the house to be torn down. On the last day of her two-week search without finding anything else, she tried to leave the house and go to work.  But every time she reached her car, something pulled her back into the house.  She did not know what she was looking for, and every time she returned to the house and looked again, she found nothing.  She told herself, "There's nothing here," and she would once again head to her car.  "Go back into the house," she was told again.  And again, she returned and found nothing.  Finally, she called her boss to report that she would be late for work.  "Take as much time as you need," her boss replied. 

On about the 5th or 6th time of going back and finding nothing, she noticed buried in the silver-grey carpet of the upstairs bedroom something that looked like a coke-can pop ring.  Bending down to pick it up, she discovered the tiny silver ring that had been given to her by her grandmother many years before.  She had actually forgotten about the ring since it had been so many years since she had received it -- but there it was, and miraculously, she had found it in a carpet the same color.

This time, she was able to leave the house and drive off without being pulled back by a force she did not understand.  Her mission had been completed.  The woman who told me this story was wearing her grandmother's ring along with her wedding and engagement rings.  The experience had moved her and brought her closer to her grandmother on the other side of this world.

As I have written for the past two days, God does speak to us in various ways.  Proverbs has so many ways of saying this:

...the Lord detests a perverse man

but takes the upright into his confidence.

 

The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked,

but he blesses the home of the righteous...(3:32-33).

 

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;

love her, and she will watch over you....

 

Listen...accept what I say,

and the years of your life will be many.

I will guide you in the way of wisdom

and lead you along straight paths.

When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;

when you run, you will not stumble.

Hold on to instruction; do not let it go;

guard it well, for it is your life (4:6-13).

 

It is so good to know that we can be guided by the voice of the Lord, that we can be taught by the Spirit of Truth, and that we will not be mis-led or mis-directed!  It is so good to know that the Lord is able to speak even in our darkness, blindness, and misunderstanding.  If we lean on Him, He will direct us and will not suffer us to fall into a pit.Jesus said, "Broad is the path that leads to destruction, and many there are who enter onto it, but stive to enter through the narrow door."  There are many spirits let loose in the world, but fortunately, we know the One we can trust to lead us to eternal life.  If the Lord cares enough to direct us to find our grandmother's ring, surely He cares enough to show us the path to eternal life!

 



The Living Word

The words I speak to you, they are spirit, and they are life.--God Calling, March 2

 

You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you (Jn. 15:3).

 

I have made You known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them (Jesus, praying to His Father on the night before He died--Jn. 17:26).

 

Yesterday, I wrote about the word of God coming to us in power and the Spirit, the way it did to the OT prophets.  When Jesus was in the flesh, His words were Spirit and they were truth; Peter said, "Lord, to whom should we go?  You alone have the words of everlasting life." On the road to Emmaeus, the disciples remarked that their hearts were 'burning within' them as they listened to the words of Jesus explaining the Scriptures to them. 

 

The resurrected Christ is still with us today, and still speaking to us the words of everlasting life, still opening the Scriptures to us.  He did not cease speaking, teaching, healing, and calling when He returned to heaven, but continues the same work today through His Spirit in us.  How blessed are they who hear today the voice of the Lord speaking to them!  Jesus said, "My sheep know my Voice...."  and "He who belongs to God hears what God says.  The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God" (Jn. 8:47).

 

It seems to me that we either treat Jesus Christ as a historical personage who lived and died 2000+ years ago and who was a wise teacher whose words were preserved by His disciples -- or we believe that He lives today and continues His mission on earth.  It is the Holy Spirit who brings life to the words of the Gospel, who opens our minds and hearts to hear the voice of Jesus therein.

 

I think it is up to us to open the Gospel and begin reading, studying the words of Jesus.  But that is not the end of the story.  At the same time, we must open our hearts and minds to receive the living word of the Lord as He speaks to us.  And the speaking may not be at the same time we are reading.  When we read, we are filling the storehouse of our minds with words that can be later retrieved by the Spirit to instruct and lead us.  We are learning the language of the Spirit when we read -- so that when He speaks, we know His voice.

 

Here is an example:  Several years ago, I began work on a project that I knew would take me at least 3 years, if not more.  I was working in conjunction with a friend of mine on a book.  But as I worked, I grew more and more uneasy, though I could not have told you why.  Then one day, the word of the Lord came to me: Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  Instantly, I recognized the words as those of Paul to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 6:14), and I began to understand my feelings of uneasiness.  The friend I was working with is one of the most delightful and wonderful people in the world, and we have so much fun together that I had never once thought about the fact that she is not a 'believer.'

We still love getting together and enjoying one another's company, but now -- three or four years after the event -- I finally understand why I was not supposed to be working on that project. 

 

It has caused her untold grief and even loss of income along the way, as she worked on the book with another team of writers after I retreated from the project.  And now that the book has been just recently published, the company has gone out of business and fired all its book reps.  There is no way now to get the book into the market for which it was designed.  My heart grieves for my friend; I wish she herself had heard from the beginning what I heard.

 

In speaking to the captives of Babylon, Isaiah tells them:  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "this is the way; walk in it" (30:20-21).

 

Some years ago, I read a book called Karl Rahner: Mystic of Everyday Life.  Rahner is the most recognized theologian of the 20th century, and he said that people complain that God has never spoken to them.  Rahner does not believe it; he thinks God is always speaking but we are not always listening.  The Book of Job says, "Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind?" (38:36) and this also:

Why do you complain to him

that he answers none of man's words?

For God does speak -- now one way, now another --

though man may not perceive it.

 

In a dream, in a vision of the night,

when deep sleep falls on men

as they slumber in their beds,

he may speak in their ears

and terrify them with warnings,

to turn man from wrongdoing

and keep him from pride,

to preserve his soul from the pit

his life from perishing by the sword....(33:12-18).

 

If we could only believe, really believe, that God wants to direct us, teach us, guide us, we might learn to hear His voice speaking in our hearts:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).  God speaks not only through the words of Scripture, but to the very moment in which we live today.  I think it would be an eye-opening experience to collect stories from men and women who have heard, in one way or another, the Voice of God speaking to them and directing their path.

 



The Word and the Power of God

Brothers loved by God, we know that he has chosen you,

because our gospel came to you not simply with words,

but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction...

in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit....

The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia---

your faith in God has become known everywhere....

They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God (I Thess. 1:4-9).

***********************************************************

 

September 11, 1981:  The Lord spoke to me as I was reading these words from the Letter to the Thessalonians: Stay before Me until this is granted to you.

 

As we are growing up in our respective churches, we hear the words of the Gospel, but where, when, and how do we experience the words coming to us with "power, the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction"?  When do we experience "welcoming the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit"?

 

This was the experience given to prophets in the Old Testament.  In the 8th chapter of Isaiah, he says,

 

The Lord spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people...when men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God?  Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?  To the law and to the testimony!  If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn.  Distressed and hungry, they will roam through the land; when they are famished, they will become enraged and looking upward, they will curse their king and their God.  Then they will look toward the earth and see only distress and darkness and fearful gloom, and they will be thrust into utter darkness (11-22).

 

The experience of Jeremiah was this:  The word of the Lord came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.  I appointed you as a prophet to the nations (I:4-5).

 

And Ezekiel:  On the fifth day of the month -- it was the fifth year of the exile of King Jehoiachin--the word of the Lord came to Ezekiel, the priest, the son of Buzi, by the Kebar River in the land of the Babylonians.  There the hand of the Lord was upon him (I: 2-3).

 

We have all 'heard' the words of Scripture, but when, where, and how has the Word of the Lord come to us?  Where, when, and how have we actually experienced "the strong hand of the Lord" upon us?

When have we "welcomed the word of the Lord with "power, the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction"?  Do we have the hunger for this experience?  Is it something we yearn for, we want with everything in us?

 

Psalm 32 says, "I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you" (v.8).  This is a promise given to those who "pray to you while you may be found."

Do not these words promise that the "word of the Lord" will come to us "with power and with the joy given by the Holy Spirit"?  This should be the normal Christian life, the normal experience of those who are in Christ.  We should all be experiencing what Paul describes as happening to the Thessalonians.

 

I have to wonder why this is not the normal experience of Christians today?  Is it because they have not been taught to experience the living word of God?  Is it because they believe that this experience is only for the 'holy' ones, not for the normal ones?  But all through the OT and through the Gospels and Epistles, we find that the word of the Lord comes to the "little ones," the anawim in Hebrew -- those excluded, cast out, not worthy, the poor, the desolate, the cast down.

 

When we are poor enough, little enough, desperate enough to cry out to the Lord, when we are hungry enough to pray to the only God who can rescue us, we may then begin to experience "the Word of the Lord coming to us with power and with the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction."  Until then, we may find ourselves roaming the land, distressed and hungry, in the words of Isaiah.