To Be An Apostle

 I have written more than a year ago about Elizabeth Leseur (1866-1914), a devout Catholic who suffered from cancer during the last years of her life.  Her husband was an avowed atheist who scoffed at Elizabeth's faith, but Elizabeth offered her sufferings for his conversion. After her death, he began to read and then to edit her journals, which became the source of his awakening to the spiritual life.  He eventually published her writings (Selected Writings) and then went on to become a Dominican priest.

I keep the following selection on my desk, because to me, it sums up briefly but succinctly what it means to be an "apostle" in modern times for a woman, a mother, a wife with social obligations, etc.  --- in other words, for someone whose life is not outwardly dedicated to apostolic or missionary life.  To all appearances, Elizabeth Leseur was not an evangelist, not a catechist, not "preaching the word" on the streets, and yet her quiet life of prayer and study led to the conversion of her husband, who in turn dedicated his life to the apostleship of preaching.  

I find God's "economy" fascinating!  (Our "economy" is the method by which we provide for the management and distribution of our assets to provide for the needs of our household.)  In Elizabeth's case, as in the case of Therese of Liseux, a cloistered nun who died at 25 but subsequently through her writings became the patroness of worldwide missionaries, God uses the smallest and weakest vessels to accomplish His purposes:

...think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things ---and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him (1Cor. 1:26).

Or, as Hildegard of Bingen put it so simply: God has arranged all things in the world in consideration of everything else.  That is a profound statement when applied to our seemingly insignificant lives!

Anyway, here is Elizabeth Leseur's definition of apostleship as applied to her life.  I have broken her statement into segments for emphasis and reflection:

I know well wht this word apostle means and all the obligations it creates.  First, the necessity of an interior life that becomes stronger all the time,

of drawing more than ever charity and gentle serenity from the Eucharist and from prayer, as well as making wholly spiritual intentions. 

Then, to cultivate my own mind systematically, to increase my knowledge of all those subjects that I am ready to learn;

to do nothing precipitously or superficially;

to achieve, as much as possible, competence in the subjects I study. To transform and make this intellectual effort holy through a spiritual motive, doing it humbly without any self-centeredness, but exclusively to help others.

To bring to all conversation and discussion a tranquil spirit, a firmness, and a friendliness that will eliminate bitterness or irritation from the opponent's mind; 

never to give in where principles are concerned, but to have extraordinary tolerance for people.

Above all, to try, after discovering the opening, to present the divine, unchanging Truth to each one in such a way as to make it understood and loved.

When I read Elizabeth Leseur, I think "Let God be God, and you be you!"  He will accomplish His purpose for my life in His way.  I need only to be still and to listen to Him.