Dysfunctional Families

The history of the world according to Genesis is the history of dysfunctional families.  Unlike the "old" hagiography, "The Lives of the Saints," which tended to present models of people without flaws, the Bible is not so much the story of "what happened," but rather of "what happens."  It is the story of today, written with ancient pens.  We are not given "models to imitate," but rather accounts of real flesh- and-blood people with all their warts. It is not "their" story that we ultimately are reading, but "our" story-- the story of what God can do with someone like "Jacob" whose very name in Hebrew means "cheater, grabber, usurper."  The study of Genesis is a fascinating account of the work of the Holy Spirit upon human nature.

From the beginning, Adam should have been protecting Eve from the serpent, but he stood by silently and allowed her to be seduced, and she in turn seduced him into disobedience also.  When he faced the Grand Inquisitor, he blamed his wife.  As the older brother, Cain's role should have been that of protector, but instead he was consumed with jealousy -- to the point of murder.  The whole book of Genesis is rife with family betrayal.

Abram sells his wife to Pharoah to avoid personal danger; later, he will banish Hagar and Ishmael to the desert to keep peace in the family.  The rivalry between Esau and Jacob is so great that Jacob must flee his home  --- but it is on his journey that He comes "face to face" with God, and ultimately, it is only because he sees the face of God that he can at last face his brother in peace:  "Your face to me is like the face of God," he tells Esau, who falls on his neck with many kisses and tears. 

Reconciliation -- it happens only when we ourselves have been reconciled with God that our patterns of family rivalry and domestic violence are overcome.  The brutally honest stories of Genesis are those of family betrayal, jealousy, and violence.  Our families are the places where we behave at our worst and where we are least likely to seek reconciliation.  Yet, the warfare that begins with sibling rivalry is intergenerational -- it is passed on to the next generation with even greater consequences.

So what is the solution to such basic family dysfunction?  If we can learn anything at all from the Book of Genesis, we learn what God said to Abram:  "Leave your people and your father's house, and come to a land I will show you."  We must "go out." "go away" from the dysfunction and journey with God long enough for Him to transform the inner dynamic that has heretofore shaped our lives.  Only then can we return to our starting place, as did Jacob, without repeating the "empty way of life handed down to us by our forefathers,"  Only then do we have any prayer at all of changing familiar (and familial) patterns of behavior. 

Many times it has been said that the "Acts of the Apostles" should be called the "Acts of the Holy Spirit," because it is principally the Holy Spirit who is "acting' in that book.  In the same way, we probably need to stop reading the "stories" of patriarchal families and instead start reading the story of God's action on the most basic of all human interactions -- the dysfunctional family.

God told Abram that "all the families of the earth" would be blessed through him.  And part of John the Baptist's mission was "to turn the hearts of fathers toward their children."  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could only see the healing hand of God in our own families?