Unless you enter the kingdom of God as a little child, you will not enter it at all.
Several years ago, I was in France with some friends who had a three-year-old grandson, little Theo. We spent a week with our hosts and their extended family. During that time, for some reason, little Theo fell in love with me, perhaps because I did not "court" him. As the oldest of six children, I learned at an early age that we must allow small children to come to us, somewhat like our relationship with cats. If we immediately try to "make friends" with little children upon meeting them, they tend to hide behind their mother's skirts, where they feel safe. But if we tend to ignore small children and go about our business with adults, the children feel safe "out in the open," where they can size us up at their own pace.
Over the space of a week, little Theo approached me a little at a time, to get my attention. At first, he would come to sit beside me on the sofa, just looking. I would smile at him, but not attempt to hug or engage him in conversation, and I would continue to be engaged with the adult conversation. Then, he began to bring me his favorite toy to look at, clearly wanting me to love what he loved too. So we began to converse (with the help of translation) on his terms, not mine, about the things he was interested in. By the fourth day of the visit, as we were all sitting at table -- there were about ten people altogether-- in a restaurant. Little Theo had finished his meal, but as usual, the adults continued their conversation over glasses of wine. Theo slipped under the table and crawled to my chair, leaning against my legs. I reached down and grasped his hand in mine, without looking at him, but continuing to talk and listen to the adults. He held my hand wordlessly for a long time, and I felt the love between us. Then, he emerged from under the tablecloth and slowly reached up to give me a kiss on the cheek and a small, sweet hug around the neck -- again, with no words passing between us. His family was amazed; they had never seen him do anything like this before. Finally, I felt free to give him a loving embrace, a real hug, which he was happy to get and return.
This entire incident reminded me of Mary Magdalene at the house of the publican, sitting uninvited at the feet of Jesus, loving Him without words, and knowing His love for her. Little children come to us, like Mary Magdalene came to Jesus, not out of reasoning or knowledge, but out of a spiritual attraction to one who they sense loves them. We do not 'explain' our love to a small child, because it would be empty words to a vessel that cannot yet understand. As we try to "explain" what we mean, who we are, we usually end up making things worse: Never explain; your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you anyway.
Dionysius the Areopagite, an anonymous monk and mystic who lived in Syria in the fifth century, wrote under an assumed name about the Christian and mystical life. His theme was that we can experience a union with God in this life only by "unknowing," much as Theo came to me without knowing who I was -- he spoke only French; I spoke only English.
In the classic Cloud of Unknowing, by an anonymous writer in 14th century England, the author says this: Knowledge hinders, not helps you, in contemplation. Be content feeling moved in a delightful, loving way by something mysterious and unknown, leaving you focused entirely on God, with no other thought than of him alone. I think that advice perfectly describes what I experienced with little Theo. We could not even communicate on a human level; all our love had to be on another level. If I had remained in France, I think he would have learned my language, and I would have learned his, in our effort to draw even closer to one another. And the same is true of God. We do not "learn doctrine," and then love God. Rather, we respond in some mysterious way to His love for us, and gradually, we come to understand and be able to express our experience with Him, as did the author of Cloud: Contemplation is the free, more penetrating gaze of a mind, suspended with wonder.
"Thinking is a rambling analysis of many things, a truth John Keats observes in 'Ode to a Nightingale,' when he writes that 'the dull brain perplexes and retards' (from the Introduction to The Cloud of Unknowing, a New Translation by Carmen A. Butcher). Many writers have focused on the Song of Songs as a paradigm of the "superior wisdom" of the human heart over the intellect, noting that the Lover in the poem listened for the Voice of the Beloved with the 'ears of experience,' rather than with the mind. Even a three-year-old child has enough experience to listen with the heart. It is the mind of a teenager that destroys and obscures the ability to listen for the voice of love. Gregory the Great penned a now-well-known phrase: "Love itself is a kind of knowing."
We do not 'analyze' those we love; when we begin to do so, we abandon the gaze of our hearts and enter into our minds. The love of the heart will reveal to us the Truth we seek; the mind will lead us astray in the matter of love. Teresa of Avila tried to put into words the power of contemplation to "revive a desolate and very dry heart." She compared the gaze of love, or contemplation, to "a union with God that is like rain that comes down abundantly from heaven to soak and saturate the whole garden [of the soul]." When our minds and hearts are sick and weary, sitting in a small room with Jesus Christ and letting him speak (perhaps without words) to our hearts is the beginning of prayer.