Problems are a part of life. They are inescapable: woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem-solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capacity to fix everything. This is a habitual response so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking. Not only does this habit frustrate you, it also distances you from Me.
Do not let fixing things be your top priority. You are ever so limited in your capacity to correct all that is wrong in the world around you. Don't weigh yourself down with responsibilities that are not your own. Instead, make your relationship with Me your primary concern. Talk with Me about whatever is on your mind, seeking My perspective on the situation. Rather than trying to fix everything that comes to your attention, ask Me to show you what is truly important. Remember that you are en route to heaven, and let your problems fade in the light of eternity.
*************************************
To me, these words seem a recipe for sanity. My mother once told me that I could not be a doctor -- my early ambition in life -- because I would drive myself to drink over everyone else's problems. I think she knew what she was talking about, because every time I see children, animals, people in general in distress, I wonder what I can do to help. The most frustrating times in my teaching career were those times when I could not help a student. One of my more memorable students was June -- not her real name, of course.
June came in everyday at 9:00 am. The 2-hour class began at 8:00 and lasted until 10:00. When she arrived, she would come in with a crinkly plastic bag (to protect her books from the rain) and proceed to extract her books amidst lots of crinkly sounds while I was teaching. Finally, I found a soft canvas bag and offered it to her for her books. The next day, she arrived with her books inside a plastic bag inside the canvas bag. I could not learn, it seems, how to solve June's many problems -- she arrived late each day because she did not drive, and that's when her father dropped her off. (A few years later, I learned what to do about this, but at the time, I was at a loss.)
In addition, June arrived at my office each day for help. I would spend hours with her, going over her work -- only to find the same problems appearing in the next essay. She always wanted help, but did not absorb the help. One day, I had just fixed myself a cup of tea when June showed up. Unnerved, I spilled the tea all over the papers on my desk, and I realized that I had for some time started to shake whenever June appeared at my door.
A good friend helped me understand what was going on in my psyche: I really believed deep down that I should be able to help every student who wanted my help -- and June was beyond all my efforts to solve her problems. But I could not accept the fact that she was beyond my limited resources. Later, I was to discover that she had been at the college for 8 years, still at the freshman level -- and that no one had been able to help her. As long as she was in school, her father was supporting her, so she had a good thing going.
Once I accepted the fact that I could not help June, even though she seemed to want my help, everything changed. When she came into my office, I smiled and went through the motions for a few minutes, and then I let her go. I stopped caring that she missed an hour of instruction each class period. I knew she would once again fail English 101, and that it would be fine with her -- so why was I worrying about it?
If we refuse to pray about our concerns -- about all of our concerns -- we will continue to worry about the things we cannot change -- and we will never change the things we can, nor have the wisdom to know the difference. I am sooo grateful to God for His Goodness in teaching me to pray early in my life, so that I do not continue to drive myself crazy over the things over which I have no control.
No comments:
Post a Comment