Amazing Grace!

After the first few steps in the Christian life, we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God--C.S. Lewis:  Mere Christianity

Even though I had attended church all my life and even tried to pray most of my life, there came a time when I desperately needed peace--or at least relief from constant anxiety.  I did not want to abandon my church; I still wanted to pray, but I knew I needed something more. 

I spent a few years attempting what seemed to work for others, at least in the 70's:  I tried Transcendental Meditation, Yoga (not the physical, only the mental/spiritual practice of sitting still and trying to find calm within), and Unitarianism (in the sense of reading the "inspirational" literature and trying to apply it.  

Here's what I discovered: all of these things brought a moment of peace and calm for the moment I was "doing it."  With three small children, those moments were few and far between.  I was frustrated because I could not find the time to program my soul for peace--even going to the bathroom and shutting the door was not permitted.  There was no "processing" time to re-gain my sanity; there was little time for sleep, even. 

Then, by a miracle of God's love, I needed an operation and landed in the hospital, worried about everything.  My roommate, a young girl in her early twenties, prayed for me, and the Spirit of God flowed through my body and mind with a peace I had never before experienced.  I did not need to "do" it; I did not need to think beautiful thoughts or still my body----it was all being done for me and in me by a power and a strength I had never before known.  Peace, Joy, Trust, Laughter, Goodness---everything I had been searching for began to flow through me in a tangible way. 

I was scared I would lose this gift in the midst of my busy life when I returned home, when I could no longer sit and pray---as if my sitting and praying had had this effect previously!  Since my doctor had once prayed for me in his office prior to surgery, I told him my fears.  Laughing, he told me that 14 years before, he had had the same experience, and that it just kept getting better.  "You don't have the Holy Spirit," he explained. "He has you---and He's not letting go; even if you walk away from Him, He will follow you around the corner, bringing you back." 

Reassured, I relaxed and let God take the lead. 

The next six weeks were recovery time for me, as my mom and dad took over the house and care of the children.  During that time, someone called from a newly-opened bookstore to tell me I had won a bible.  Now I had never in my life won anything, and I had forgotten that I had dropped my name in the box some weeks before at the opening of the store.  The Bible came alive to me under the annointing of the Spirit during the following days.  Not only did I have peace, but I had food for my mind and soul, food to strenthen me for the journey ahead.  When I recovered, I was hooked on the Bible, and it gradually began to replace all the negative thoughts I had been cultivating for years.  I found my anger and fear and resentment and frustration being replaced by confidence and peace and trust. 

The best part was that I didn't have to manufacture peace for myself through TM, yoga, or "thinking good thoughts."  I was being fed by a Source from above.  God Himself was moving into my life, my thoughts, my physical body through His Spirit which had been poured out on me as a Gift.  Finally, I was even able to let go of my need to find time to pray---and the resulting frustration over not being able to do that.  I "gave up," telling God that when He gave me the time to pray, I would take it, but that I would not fight for it in the meantime. 

Amazingly, the lady across the street, whose children were grown, started asking if she could take the kids with her to the bank and the post office---short, 20 minute rides which gave me a moment to sit and pray.  How does God do that?  And why would anyone without children do that?

C.S.Lewis was exactly right!  After we ask God for the Gift of His Spirit, we must realize that there is nothing we can do for ourselves.  Whatever is done in us by God will last; whatever we insist on doing for ourselves, He will let us do until we finally realize the hopelessness of trying to give ourselves what only He can give.

Transformation2

I have understood from the Lord that we must all attend the "School of the Spirit" all the days of our lives.  If our attendance is poor, if we do not walk daily in the Spirit and listen to instruction, we will not progress but will fall again into the ignorance and darkness of not knowing---

of not knowing Him or His will for us,
of not knowing the Word of life and joy and peace,
of not understanding ourselves or others,

of descending into a world of chaos, where nothing makes sense and we cannot find God in the midst of it.

But if we are faithful in our attendance, we shall begin to see as He sees.  We will know truth because He Himself deigns to teach us what we do not know.  Like all good teachers, He is always present and always ready to teach.

It is the poor student who decides to sleep in and not to learn what he needs to know on a daily basis.  That is the man who goes hungry when there is plenty to be had for the taking.  For the Lord is rich and He withholds His bounty from no one who asks.  But He will not force us to take---He will only offer eternally.

Transformation

Most of us imagine that "following Christ" means reading what He has to say and then trying to apply it to our own lives.  But it is not at all like that; if it were, it would still be the natural (sinful) man trying to do the right thing, with very mixed results.

Transformation in Christ actually means submitting all that is in us to His power and energy working in us.  Gradually, He absorbs all of our negative energy into His light, which has never been overcome by the darkness.  And as our negative energy fades, it is replaced by the eternal light and life of mankind.

We can take anger management classes and see a psychiatrist---all natural means to control the energies inside us, and not to be scorned.  But the truth is that the energies inside us are coming from places we do not know, and have no idea how to control or manage.  It is only the Spirit of God dwelling in us who knows all things and who can calm the deep waters inside us.

Ultimately, it is not the mind that has the power to control, but the spirit.  And until our spirit is connected to and controlled by the Spirit of God, we have no hope.  The opening of Genesis is the whole story---God Himself has to overshadow the spirit of man, speaking His word and His light into our dark places, pushing back the deep waters of chaos and sending His light into our darkness.  When this finally happens, not all at once, but gradually, we begin to live in the light. 

It is no accident that creation is described as occurring over a period of 7 "days," with only space being created in the first three days (sky, earth, sea) and then the space being filled with "teeming life" the 4th, 5th, and 6th days.  When God begins to "make space" in us for His action, He will not fail to fill the space with overflowing life and joy. 

But the transformation from chaos to harmony is a process.  Every part of the process Genesis describes as "good."  But the final result was described as "very good;" then God rested from all the work He had done.  Once our own process of transformation is underway, all the steps will be "good."  We may not see the final result for seven long "days," but we can be assured He will not stop His work in us until He sees that the end is"very good."  Amen.  So be it.

Calling for help!

When a fireman sees someone trapped in a burning building, he does not stop to inquire whether the person inside has led a moral life, whether he is a good man worth saving.  As soon as he sees, as soon as he hears a cry for help, he rushes to rescue the helpless person, most often at the risk of his own life.

In Jesus, we see the face of God Himself, who from the beginning tried to tell those who would listen that He Himself would be our strength and our salvation, the One who would direct our path.  Isaiah says this:

O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more.  How gracious he will be when you cry for help!  As soon as He hears, he will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful.  In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows.   The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with the fork and the shovel.  In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill.  The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted (30:19,ff).

The "bread of adversity" and "the water of affliction" are designed to make us realize that we are in a burning building and that we are helpless to save ourselves.  Without adversity and affliction, we do tend to believe that we are "as gods," and that we need nothing.  But as soon as we lift our voice to cry for help, He is there, lifting our burdens and showing us the way out.  Not only does he rescue us from the burning building, but He also leads us into quiet pastures where we can recover our strength and learn the ways of peace.

It is never that we have been "good enough" to be saved; it is only that we have been desperate enough to call for help.  Those who walk in the paths of peace do so only because they have seen hell, and they never want to return to that place.  Having tasted heaven, they desire to remain.



Why Did Jesus have to die?

Before I began reading Scripture, I used to puzzle over this question.  I have read and heard many explanations, including those who say that He did not have to die, but that others took His life from Him because they needed Him to die.  But none of these explanations really satisfied me until I read what Jesus Himself had to say:

The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep...No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord....This command I received from my Father.

"How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?"  And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

Of course, these passages tell us only that Jesus had to die, that it was the will of God and foretold by the prophets---but does not explain why.   We know that it was for our sake, but it is hard to comprehend how his death helped us, except that He went before us into the ground and rose again, the first-fruits of all those who will follow Him in death and in resurrection.  That in itself---that He Himself has gone before us and has conquered death---would be enough, but there is indeed much more!

Paul tells us that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus told Nicodemus, "Unless a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of heaven."  Now we are beginning to unravel the science behind what we have always believed by faith.  Since Einstein, we have begun to realize that the entire universe is held together by energy:  E=mc2.  On one side of the equation is Energy; everything else is on the other side.

Every field of knowledge has been affected by this revelation.  Now even medicine is beginning to tap into the energy field with radiation, laser technology, etc.  We used to believe that our memories were stored in our brains, but now we know that memory is stored at the cellular level---our bodies store our memories and react to triggers of past memory, even when we are not conscious of doing so.  Our bodies are repositories not only of our own experiences, but of the experience of generations before us.  We inherit the cellular memories of our ancestors!  That is why the "sins of the fathers are passed down to the sons" (and daughters).    Even those of us who had good lives, without significant trauma, still have "bad programming" in our hard drives.  What we have inherited from "the empty way of life of our forefathers" in Peter's words is what is sending stress signals to our cells and causing disease. 

Paul says, "The body must die because of sin," but we never realized how literally true this was.  Most explanations have dealt with the concept of punishment for sin; until recently, we could not have known how corrupted our energy is because of not only our own sins but those of our forefathers.

When the medical community began doing transplants, they also began to document cases of donor recipients having the thoughts, feelings, dreams, and even food cravings of the donors.  Today many scientists are convinced that memories are stored in the cells, rather than localized in one place -- in the brain.

That is why Paul can say in Romans 7, "I do not understand myself at all....in my mind, I agree with the law of God....but I end up doing the very thing I don't want to do.....and the things I do want to do, I fail to do....unhappy man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God!  ...through Jesus Christ, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

So, being "born again" means that the cellular memories coming to us from the time of Adam and Eve will no longer control us.  Having died with Christ, the natural man is free to put on a new nature---that of Christ.  From now on, our inheritance is from the Spirit of Jesus, rather than from our ancestors.  Christ has taken onto Himself our cellular memories and has crucified them to the cross, where they no longer have power to control us.  Instead, He has given us a new mind and body, submitted to and controlled by the Holy Spirit instead of by the past.  "It was for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Gal.) 

Thanks be to God, who has delivered us from the slavery of sin and death and set us on a new course in Christ Jesus! 

Called Out of Darkness

The Book of Genesis begins in the dark abyss, in unformed chaos, with the Spirit of God hovering above the waters.  "Light, Be!" thunders the voice of Elohim, and light was.

The Father----The Son-----The Spirit address the darkness.  The Spirit hovers, the Father sends His Own Light, and the Light was.  And the darkness has never succeeded in overcoming the Light.

Each one of us has been "called out of darkness into His marvelous light," in the words of St. Peter.  Each one of us has experienced the downward spiral of chaos, fear, evil, anxiety, entering into our own lives---an evil from which we could not extricate ourselves, an evil which threatened to overwhelm us.

Many people attempt to hold the chaos at bay by following the rules and regulations, thus ensuring themselves of order and maybe the hope of reward in the next life.  Some attempt to escape the fear by retreating to a place where nothing can harm them.  And others finally join the forces of evil, adding their own energy to the destruction.

But "the reason God sent His Son into the world was to destroy the works of the devil" (I John 3:8).  Jesus said, I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should remain in darkness (John 12:46).

The opening of Genesis sets the pattern for the rest of the story----from darkness, evil, chaos into the "marvelous" light of the Son of God.  This is the story of every individual, of every tribe, of every family, of every nation on earth.  From darkness to light.  The light was supposed to shine out of Israel to every surrounding nation, that they too might walk in the light.  The wise men from the East, non-Jews, saw the light of the world and followed it to Bethlehem.  The shepherds on the hillside saw the light and it drew them to the crib in a dark, cold cave. 

When the darkness descends in our own lives, we cannot remain in it, but must search for the Light that God has spoken into the world.  Years ago, I read a quotation whose source I do not recall:

We easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; it is harder to comprehend those who are afraid of the Light.

Psalm 139

How precious concerning me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When we were children, we were told, "God is watching you!"  But that warning carried overtones of threat:  you will be punished because God is watching you.

As parents, though, we catch a glimpse of what it really means that "God is watching" us.  I think it is fair to say that everything a child---even an adult child---does or thinks is "watched" by a parent.  We rejoice at the wonderful things a child does; we take pride in his/her accomplishments; we are grieved at the sorrows our children inevitably experience.  It is our great joy to be able to assist our children when they are in trouble, to calm them when they are anxious or worried, to listen to them when they need to talk. 

In Psalm 139, we sense the joy of someone who has just awakened to the "watching" God who never ceases thinking about those He has formed in the womb.  David, presumably, who wrote this psalm, knows that he is never without the watchful and loving presence of God; he also knows that if God is thinking about him, he can never be left alone or without support.  He knows that God/ Yahweh, like any parent, cannot stop thinking about David.

In the previous psalm, 138, David writes: The Lord will perfect [the things] which concern me (v.8).  Most translations read: The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me, but I think the first version drives home more clearly that every little thing which concerns us is a matter of God's thought and action on our behalf.  If we know this at the deepest level of our being, we can rest, handing over the "things which concern" us.

One of my students once asked, "Do you think God thinks we ask too much?"  My answer was, "I think He thinks we don't ask enough!"  I have heard people scoff at those who ask God for a parking place, as though that were the least of His concerns in a world gone mad.  Nothing that concerns us is too small to concern Him---and if we don't ask in the little things, we have no confidence even if we beg in the big things.  What is too small for God? 

Let me put it this way:  If we were shopping together and you were 25 cents short of the total, would you refuse to ask me for a quarter because the amount was too small?  Would you wait until you needed $5.00 to ask for help?  or $500.00?  (because I had bigger things to think about than your need for a quarter?)

I might refuse your request for $500.00 because you had already spent $1,000 at the slot machines, but if you wanted a quarter to throw away on the slots, I might laugh and say, "here you go!" 

I think we need to take David's insight--inspiration---literally and begin to walk with God, sit with God, and stand with God at every (tiny) moment of our lives.  Then I think David's insight will become our own---how precious concerning me are your thoughts, O God; how vast the sum of them.  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand!