On Checklists and Relationship

 Last night in OCIA, we had a discussion on Lenten practices.  As I listened, I got to thinking about checklists and relationships.  It's not really a question of "either/or," since both are important to maintaining our lives.  We tend to love checklists because of the sense of accomplishment, the feeling of doing something to create order and progress in an otherwise chaotic existence.  I have a friend who makes me laugh (with her, not at her) about her obsession with checklists:  Make the coffee: check.  Drink the coffee: check.  

The feeling of accomplishment is important to us, especially for a new mother whose life has been completely upturned by unpredictable care of an infant.  We are mostly desperate to regulate our lives with a sense of being in control and successful.  Even in the area of relationships, checklists are critical.  The partner who fails the tasks of daily organization -- checking the gas gauge in the car, washing the clothes, seeing to the meals, etc.----soon sabotages the relationship altogether.  We can't live in chaos without imposing frustration on our life partners.

But life is not all about the checklists either.  Sooner or later, routine alone also sabotages the relationship.  Jesus mentions those who say to Him, 'but we prophesied in your name and drove out demons and performed miracles in your name!"  But Jesus' answer is, "But I never knew you!"  Many of us think the whole point of being Christian is to be "good."  But clearly, God has something else in mind --- relationship.  He seems to be drawn especially to those whose checklists have dwindled into insignificance.

When it comes to Lenten practices, our checklists are important--- it's kind of a spiritual housecleaning: getting rid of the spiritual clutter, the distractions, the things that have crept into our lives to make us slouch spiritually.  Springtime is a time for clearing the winter debris and for planting new habits that refresh us.  (Not sure about giving up chocolate, but it's probably a good starting place, I guess.)  Personal discipline is not something most of us ever consider.  

But ultimately, the goal is our relationship with God.  Someone said last night: I don't sit down and pray every day, but I talk to God all day long.  Surely, Brother Lawrence teaches all of us about practicing the Presence of God as a path to relationship--- no worries there.   I talk to my husband, now that we are both retired, all day long too.  But I find that the 'Sit down conversations" (even if we are standing up) are the ones that nourish the relationship the most --- as opposed to "What do you want for dinner?" conversations.  It's the conversations that reveal to me what he's thinking on a deeper level that I enjoy: when he tells me about something he just read and how it touched him, for example.  It's the time we spend in the afternoon doing a puzzle together that enrich us, rather than the morning checklists.  

So, no, God is not keeping a list of our lenten practices, although they are undoubtedly good for us as human creatures.  But I think He is waiting to hear what's in our hearts and minds so He can tell us what's on His mind too!  A little time dedicated to sitting down with Him every day goes a long way! 

The Starting Point

Last week, we started a Lenten series on prayer in the parish, opening with the question: What is the greatest difficulty in prayer?  One of our discussion partners suggested that the answer is "finding a starting place."  Somehow, that answer resonated with me, and I wanted to think about it more, so I wrote it down.  What is our "starting place" in prayer?

The next morning, I came to my regular prayer time with that question.  For years, I've been using a daily prayer guide based on the readings and feast of the daily Mass.  I really don't have to think too much about my starting place as I grab a cup of tea, settle in and begin to read what is right in front of me.  Usually, there is something in the Blessed Among Us article, in the readings of the day, or in the reflection that gives me a jumping off place for my own prayer and reflection.  And that satisfies me.  But on this day, I wondered if my "prayer" was really connecting with God, or if I was just completing a routine that I had started years ago.  

I think it is a good routine for most of us, and I do think it "clears space for God" to meet us, as Bishop Barron says in his book on prayer:  God is like a helicopter pilot, hovering over our lives, waiting for us to clear a landing place for Him.  But like all routines, our prayer life probably needs to be refreshed at times to keep it fresh and meaningful.

It's funny how when you ask a question, and begin to think about the answer, usually, somehow, a new door in the universe begins to open.  And open it did!  First, a video found its way to my phone: 

Grok AI analyzes every prayer in the Bible.  What an eye-opener!  The video is about 45 minutes long, but worth every minute.  What AI discovered is that there is indeed a pattern to every prayer in the Bible, from beginning to end, from Old Testament to New Testament.  Eureka!  And guess what!  There is actually a starting place for every prayer in Scripture!  Who knew?  And the starting place is not reading someone else's prayers or reflections, wonderful as they may be!  

The Starting Place for prayer in the Bible is Acknowledgement of Who God Is, His character, His power, His relationship with his people, His faithfulness, His greatness, etc.  Even the short "Our Father" prayer given by Jesus begins with acknowledging the relationship:  Who is God to you?  (Father).  See Psalm 111 for a good example from the Old Testament.

Once I began to see to pattern, I realized why it took so many years of developing a relationship with the Jewish people before God sent the Messiah:  They had to know God before they could recognize Him in Jesus.  As in any relationship, to "know" God means that we have to spend time with Him -- in prayer, in nature, in reflection, in pondering our lives before Him.  Scripture says, Walk before me and be perfect (complete).   Enoch walked "with" God; Deborah "sat" with God; Abraham "stood" with God.  Our conversation with other people depends entirely on the experiences we have had with them. Little or no experience equals superficial and meaningless conversation, or "prayer."

Who is God to you?  Where has He been in your life?  If we answer those questions, and if our 'starting place' in prayer is to acknowledge Who He has been for us, I think we might at last begin to pray!

Soaking Up the Son

 I walked into adoration utterly depleted, shaking and almost unable to function.  I had just been to Walgreens to pick up a prescription and found myself disoriented and confused.  When I went to pay for my purchases, I fumbled around trying to extract my credit card and Walgreen's card.  "Take your time, Lady," said the clerk; "I get paid by the hour."  Embarrassed, I wanted to explain that I had just been through a traumatic and physically exhausting week.  No one ever tells you that at 83, it takes longer to recover from unusual stress and physical exertion; your body and mind go into something akin to post traumatic stress syndrome.

My daughter had had emergency surgery with complications in New Orleans.  (Ordinarily these days, I find that just driving into New Orleans through the "wild west" of 18 wheelers and pickup trucks in New Orleans East puts a great deal of stress on me.)  After two days of vomiting, she had been dehydrated but after tests, they decided she needed emergency surgery and as as result, refused to give her any liquid, even in an iv.  Unfortunately, the "emergency" surgery was delayed, delayed, and delayed once again as the surgeon was swamped with emergencies.  No one could tell us when my daughter's surgery would actually take place. For 24 hours, the report was "momenarily," so no liquids.  The more dehydrated she became, the more uncomfortable she was.  From about 6 pm through 8pm, she was on watch for immanent surgery --- and more and more thirsty after two days of vomiting.  In the ER observation room with her, I too was suffering knowing what she was going through.  After awhile, I began to identify with Mary watching Jesus on the cross -- although the comparison may be profane and inappropriate.  

Finally, they agreed to put my daughter in a regular room for the night so she could rest, and give her a re-hydration iv, plus jello until 11 pm, with surgery re-scheduled for the next day.  At 7 am, she was still thirsty as they wheeled her into surgery -- and then there were complications.  

During her 3 day hospital stay, I found myself back and forth between her house, where I had left the water running to prevent broken pipes; the parking garage, where I had to park distances away from the entrance; and an unusally long walking distance between the garage and the West Tower, the furtherest distance in the hospital.  With lung cancer, I found it difficult to walk carrying all the baggage one needs to spend time in the hospital.  After a week, I was physically and mentally exhausted.   By the time I returned to Mississippi after my daughter's recovery, I found it almost impossible to recover my strength and stamina.  

The next day, I debated whether I could actually get to my scheduled adoration hour.  My visit to Walgreens had not gone well at all, but I figured I needed time with Jesus more than anything else. As I sat before the Blessed Sacrament, I found that I was not able even to say the rosary, I was so mentally blank.  "How should I pray?" I asked. "I'm so tired."  

God rarely speaks to me, but this time He did:  not exactly words, but more clear impressions -- which I translated to words in my mind: 

Imagine yourself stretched out on a sandy beach, soaking up the sun.

Immediately, I understood my task;  Relax and soak up the Son.  With that image in mind, I almost fell asleep -- but not quite, as gradually phrases from Scripture began to float through my spirit and mind: 

God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in distress.

God is close to the broken-hearted, and those bowed down in spirit He saves.

When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will put him to flight.

By the time I left the chapel after an hour, I could feel strength coming back into my legs as well as into my body, mind, and soul.  I've always said that adoration is like a divine radiation treatment; from now on, I'll think of it as "Soaking up the Son."