He Restores My Soul

 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why do you sigh within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him for his saving help,
My Savior and my God (Ps. 42).

Every 3 to 4 years, I find myself drawn back to reading A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by Philip Keller.  Mr. Keller is himself a shepherd, and his insights into Psalm 23 never fail to renew my amazement at this song of David.  Written from the viewpoint of the sheep, Psalm 23 is rich in imagery for God's care for us physically and spiritually.  Because we are so far removed from the culture of shepherds and sheep, we fail to grasp many of the implications of the 23rd Psalm.  For example, when we hear about "green pastures," we have no idea of the agonizing toil it requires on the part of the shepherd for his sheep to feed in green pastures.  Shepherding is usually done in an arid climate, where the soil is typically rocky and vegetation sparse, so the shepherd typically spends months preparing a grazing field for his flock before he ever leads them to it---removing stones and poisonous weeds, sowing and nurturing seed, and making sure there is enough water to grow lush fields.

One of the phrases that escapes us in terms of shepherding is "He restores my soul."  In Psalm 42, as in many other psalms, David speaks directly to his soul, which is "downcast" within him.  In other Psalms, David typically says, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and let all that is within me praise His holy name!"  I don't know how many of us speak directly to our souls, especially when we are downcast and out of sorts.

In his reflection on the phrase, "He restores my soul," Philip Keller writes about sheep who are "downcast," a technical term for a sheep that has turned over on its back and cannot get up again by itself.  Lying on its back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to stand up, without success.  If the owner does not arrive on the scene in a relatively short time, the sheep will die.  For one thing, predators are always on the alert for a cast-down sheep, easy prey for them.  Strangely, it is the largest, fattest, strongest, and healthiest sheep that are the most easily cast down.  They lie down in a comfortable spot in some little depression in the ground, roll over to stretch out and get comfortable, and suddenly the center of gravity shifts, and they cannot get up without help.

Keller says the shepherd goes out daily searching for cast sheep, especially if he sees buzzards circling overhead.  Leaving everything else, he anxiously begins counting the sheep; if one is missing, he leaves the 99 and goes in search of the one missing.  Finding the cast-down sheep, he lovingly embraces it, scolds it gently, and turns it over, lifting it to its feet while supporting it himself until the sheep begins to regain her balance and walk in her own strength once again.  When the shepherd must leave town for a few days, he appoints someone to keep an eye out daily for cast-down sheep.

So when David speaks to his soul, reminding himself to 'Put your hope in God," he knows whereof he speaks.  He knows that he cannot lift himself up by his own bootstraps, but that he is entirely dependent on the Good Shepherd, who said, "I myself will pasture (my sheep)."  When he is cast down in spirit, he waits for God's saving help, knowing the faithfulness of a shepherd who will not allow his flock to remain cast down and prey to their enemies.

Conversation Starters

 Everyone talks about the weather -- it's so hot; it's too cold; it's such a beautiful day!  The weather is for sure the one thing we all have in common, even perfect strangers.  It's the one topic we can surely connect on, no matter our background, faith, or political views.  I wonder how many deep friendships started with a comment about the weather.

Several years ago, we had some workmen at our house painting the carport.  I happened to be working in the yard at the time, and one of the workmen started talking to me about how hot it was at the time.  The first thing I knew, he was telling me that his mother's name was Gail, spelled differently from mine, where he was born, and so on.  We had great conversation and great connection while he was waiting for the boss to arrive to begin the job.  

So many people have trouble connecting with God in prayer because it is hard for us to find common ground with Divinity.  In talking about prayer, Bishop Barron once said, "What about all these novenas, rosaries, written prayers, etc.?  Well, prayers lead to prayer."  In other words, as we open the door to conversation with God, He enters and finds common ground with us -- and then the real conversation begins.  

In the Psalms, we find every human emotion -- peace, joy, anger, hostility, resentment, fear, anxiety.... I find them to be great "conversation starters" for prayer, no matter where I am in life.  In the midst of the desert, hiding out from Saul's army, David prayed, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you;/ my soul thirsts for you,/ my body longs for you,/ in a dry and weary land where there is no water....Those who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down into the depths of the earth.  They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals" (Psalm 63).

David was nothing if not expressive!  But in his desperation, in his thirst, in his joy, in his anger, his songs certainly open the door for our own conversations with God, even if they are complaints!  For those of us who do not even know where to begin talking to God, it is so easy to open the Psalms and find one we can relate to, such as Psalm 61:

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.

 From the ends of the earth I call to you,

 I call as my heart grows faint;

Lead me to a rock that is higher than I. 

One thing I love about reading/praying the Psalms is that eventually they become part of me, and I instinctively begin to recite them when I need to express my joy, my fear, my desperation, my hope, etc. to God. They give me the words I need when I am almost inarticulate in addressing God -- and they eventually give me peace.  The fact that they were originally songs, set to music and sung in the Temple, makes them even more powerful.  How rich we would be if they became our songs too!

The Invasion of Grace - Bishop Barron's Sunday Sermon

The Invasion of Grace -- my prayer for you!

Written On My Heart

 In the Old Testament, when the High Priest went before the Lord in the Holy of Holies, he was instructed to wear an Ephod, a linen garment something like an apron, over his vestments.  Attached to the Ephod was a breastplate divided into 12 segments, each segment bearing a precious stone upon which was engraved the name of one of the 12 tribes of Israel:  Whenever Aaron enters the Holy Place, he will bear the names of the sons of Israel over his heart on the breastplate of decision as a continuing memorial before the Lord (Exodus 28).

One of the very first changes I noticed in myself after my encounter with the Holy Spirit in 1977 was that I began to pray for other people -- much to my great surprise.  I had prayed almost all my life, but rarely for others, mostly for myself and my own concerns.  In fact, trying now to reconstruct my mindset at the time, I believe that I did not really think it made much difference whether I prayed for someone or not.  "O God, help me!" was probably about the best I could do when it came to prayer.

The morning I experienced some kind of anointing from above as a result of a young woman's prayer in the hospital, shortly before I was taken into surgery, I began to pray -- really pray -- for someone else, a complete stranger.  I was awake during the surgery -- but that's another story --- and lying on the table, I found myself praying for healing for a woman in Florida, someone I had never met.  She was having the same surgery I was having, but she had cancer.  A friend had mentioned her to me the previous week when she heard I was scheduled for this operation. And now, I'm praying for her?   In the middle of my own surgery, when I should have been scared and worried about myself?   Wait! What?  Who is this person who is now praying for someone I don't know?  This is something so new I don't quite know how to process it.

So rather than the "Baptism of the Holy Spirit" being some kind of temporary emotional high, I began to discover that it was bringing amazing changes into my life, in very quiet and non-emotional ways, but rather in a kind of soft peace.  In the days and years to come, I discovered that praying for others would become a way of life.  Eventually, however, I began to sort of carry a burden of prayer because there were more and more people to pray for -- as if, ha ha, God's work depended on my prayers.  I still had much to learn about the ways of the Spirit!

But then God sent an angel to instruct me in His ways -- a woman who had a well-known ministry of prayer and intercession for others.  She told me that she too at first carried a burden of prayer, trying to remember all those who had asked for her prayers.  But in adoration one day, the Lord spoke to her, reminding her of the Ephod worn by the High Priest when he entered the presence of the Lord.  "When you come into My Presence," the Lord told her, "I read the names of all those written on your heart, just as the High Priest carried the names of Israel into my Presence."

After that conversation, I began to make ephods for myself in prayer -- index cards divided into 12 spaces.  I would write the names of those I was praying for, one in each space, and then I would place the index card into my current meditation or daily prayer book, where I would be sure to see it.  Later, as I was teaching Confirmation classes for so many years, I would write the names of my students on the cards and keep them in my planning notebook.  Rather than worrying about trying to pray for each person -- as if God would not act without my prayer -- I would just metaphorically hold up the card before Him, and let Him direct my prayer in that moment.  And then, my "work" became His Work instead!  Much better, I guarantee!  

Jesus said, "The work I do is not my own; it belongs to the One who sent me.  The Father who lives in me does His work through me."

Eventually I came to realize that Jesus Christ, the High Priest, entered into the Holiest of Holies, the Presence of His Father, after His resurrection, with our names written on the Ephod of His Own Heart. He said to Mary Magdalene, "Go and tell my brothers that I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God" (Jn. 20).  Never had He spoken in such a way previously!  He carried us into the very Presence of God, and now His God was/is our God!

So if in some future date, you come across one of my books with an unusual bookmark divided into 12 squares, and if your own name is written in one of those squares, just know that I have carried you into the Presence of God and that the Father Himself has been at work on your behalf!