Where Has God Been in YOur Life?

 When the ancient Israelites were journeying through the Promised Land, they would often construct a monument of stones and call it "Ebenezer," meaning "thus far has God helped us."  In my own life, God's help was so present to me during and after Katrina that I wrote the story of His Providence and called it "Ebenezer Road" (not published).

Karl Rahner, the greatest theologian of the 20th century, once said that every person has encountered God in his/her life.  To those who aver that they have never encountered God, he says, "O yes, you have encountered Him!"  But I'd be willing to bet that not one in thirty people can tell you how, when, or where that encounter took place.

It has been said that unless we find God in our own lives, we will not find Him at all. But reflection has not been part of our culture, as it was, for example, in Greek culture.  So turning outwards to the world around us for stimulation, we hardly know how to turn within our own lives and histories to find God.

As I go back through my own history, I can find so many landmarks along the road, places where I met God, though at the time, I may not have recognized the encounter.  One of those times was after my third child was born.  I had had three children in four years, with all of the attendant ear infections, tonsillitis, and frequent hospitalizations, etc.  Since I nursed all my children, I think I had not slept more than an hour and half in those four plus years.  I thought I was doing fine until one day I found I could not stop crying; I think sheer exhaustion had set in.  

My husband took three days off from work, and I went to the Cenacle, a retreat house in Metairie, for rest and recuperation.  There I met Sr. Gautreaux, a nun trained in counseling.  The first night I met her, I simply mentioned that I couldn't stop crying, but that I had no real problems -- the kind that other people had.  She did not try to counsel me, telling me that God loved me, for example, or offer words of practical advice.  She did not pray with me or for me.  She simply asked me one question:  Who is God to you?

She asked me to ponder the question overnight.  And the answer to that question changed my life.  

I came back the next day and told her that God was the God of my past and occasionally of my present, but He was not the God of my future.  That is, I could look back in my life and see where He was, and sometimes I could sense His presence in the moment, but that I could not trust Him for the future.  In other words, I thought I was responsible for handling all the problems of each day.  The burden rested on my shoulders, and I thought I should be able to handle it by myself.  I didn't really think God would be there for me in the future.  

The following day, as I was packing to leave the Cenacle, I heard a bird singing and singing and singing, really loud!  I turned, and there on my windowsill sat a cardinal, singing its little heart out!  Truly a moment of grace for me, as the thought went through my mind:  You don't have to solve all the problems alone; all you have to do is to get up each morning and sing!

It was the beginning of a new journey toward God for me, even though it took years for me to travel that new road.

I now find it a prayerful experience for me to look back on my life in 10-year segments, asking myself where God was in each of those segments of my life.  And discovering His presence for me in the past leads me to trust that He will continue to be there for me in the future! 

Taste and See!

 When my daughter was very young, she refused to taste cheesecake, despite the fact that the rest of us were enjoying it greatly.  The very name put her off; surely something called "cheesecake" could not measure up to our testimony.  I think she suspected we might be trying to trick her into tasting something awful.  One day she decided to try the tiniest bite.  Until this day she is an afficiando.

I think many of us approach God in the same manner -- at an arm's distance.  We have heard from other people, including Jesus Christ, about the goodness of God, but we prefer to keep our knowledge of Him in our heads rather than to venture a "taste" of Him personally:

When the great masters of the Christian way speak of knowing God, they do not use the term in its distanced, analytical sense; they use it in the biblical sense, implying knowledge by way of personal intimacy.  This is why St. Bernard of Clairvaux, for one, insists that initiates in the spiritual life know God not simply through books and lectures but through experience, the way one friend knows another. That knowledge is what the Holy Spirit facilitates  (Bishop Robert Barron).

 Bishop Barron often compares God to a helicopter pilot hovering over our lives, searching for a landing place to enter.  Again, though, we tend to keep Him "up there," away from the daily affairs which we prefer to manage on our own, and with our own resources, limited though they be. If we but clear a space for Him, asking the Holy Spirit to guide both our prayer and our daily activity, we might be very surprised to learn that we actually love "cheesecake."

In the past few months, I have been placing all of my daily activities and concerns before the Lord each morning, inviting Him to "guide my feet into the way of peace."  I have always loved that prayer because I think of myself as the Lord described the Ninevites: not knowing their left hands from their right (Book of Jonah).  When I ask the Lord to "guide my feet," I am acknowledging that I don't (and won't) always figure things out very well in my head.  That is, I don't always need to know ahead of time the best plan for my day.  I am relying not on my own knowledge, but on His:  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

Here's the thing -- by "acknowledging" Him at the beginning of the day, I find myself listening less to the voice in my head (often confused and muddled) and more to the Spirit within.  I find myself leaning on Him to direct my activities --- and surprise, surprise!  Without my so-called "planning" and "scheduling," my days seem to flow easily, with tasks getting done smoothly, even those I had not planned to do.  Instead of feeling burdened by my work, I find myself energized in doing it.  In his book The Three Ordinary Voices of God,  Matthew Kelly says, Mental vitality leads to physical, emotional, and spiritual vitality. Everything in our lives begins as a thought.

One Sunday, I was working on a project at my desk.  But I had a headache that I was trying to ignore in order to finish what I was working on.  I paused for a moment and asked the Holy Spirit for direction.  Suddenly and without planning, I put the project aside and walked outside into my garden.  It was a beautiful day, and while walking around gazing at the plants, I realized that Sunday was the day I usually watered those plants under the overhang --- those that get no rain.  So I watered the plants and continued to enjoy the clear skies and soft breeze.  By the time I got back inside, my headache was gone and my 'burden' relieved.  I realized that Sunday was not the day to worry about finishing my project after all, and had I persisted in my own plans, the plants would not have gotten watered.

Day by day, I am experiencing that the Holy Spirit's plans for my life far outweigh my own in goodness and simplicity.  This is a rather simple way of "tasting" and "seeing" the Goodness of the Lord.  If  you try it, I think you'll like it!

The Way of Life; the Way of Death

 Prior to the entrance of the Israelites into the Promised Land, Joshua stressed to them two ways: the way of life and the way of death -- and he gave them an ultimatum:  Choose Life or choose Death!

By the middle of the second century A.D, the Church had developed a kind of catechism for neophytes -- those seeking baptism into the Way.  The catechism was called the Didache, and it stressed again (like Joshua advising those seeking life in the Promised Land) that there are two ways of life -- the way of Life and the way of Death.  Some scholars believe that the Didache might have indicated the basic way of life for those seeking to enter the church.

Recently, I came across another first century document that echoes both Joshua's teaching and the Didache -- the Epistle of Barnabas.  Barnabas (mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles as a companion to Paul on his journeys) died in 61 AD, according to legend.  Modern scholars maintain that he did not write this epistle, which early Christians attributed to Barnabas.  Nevertheless, the Epistle echoes much of very early Christian writing, describing the "two ways."

There are two ways of doctrine and authority, one of light, and the other of darkness. But these two ways differ greatly. For over one are stationed the light-bringing angels of God, but the angels of Satan are over the other.

This, then, is the way of light: Love God who created you. Glorify God who redeemed you from death. Be simple in heart and rich in spirit. Hate doing anything displeasing to God. Do not exalt yourself, but be of lowly mind. Do not forsake the commandments of the Lord. Love your neighbor more than your own soul. Do not slay the child by procuring an abortion, nor destroy it after it is born. Receive your trials as good things. Do not hesitate to give without complaint. Confess your sins. This is the way of light.

But the way of darkness is crooked and cursed, for it is the way of eternal death with punishment. In this way are the things that destroy the soul: idolatry, overconfidence, the arrogance of power, hypocrisy, doubleheartedness,adultry, rape, haughtiness, transgressions, deceit, malice, avarice, and absence of any fear of God. Also in this way are those who persecute the good, those who hate truth, those who do not attend to the widow and the orphan, those who do not pity the needy, those who murder children, those who oppress the afflicted and are in every respect transgressors.

Put this way, the choice is pretty clear -- choose life or choose death!  Maybe we should require all children and those adults coming into the church to memorize the Epistle of Barnabas! 

 

He shall be Peace! (Micah 5)

 If you want to get warm, you must stand by the fire; if you want to be wet, you must get into the water.  If you want joy, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them.  They are not the sort of prizes which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone.  They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality.   (C. S. Lewis: Mere Christianity)

"He shall save His people from their sins" is the usual formulation of the Good News of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, the word "sin" does not convey much to our minds.  We fail to associate that word with the primeval darkness and chaos --- the world before the creative word of God: Light! Be!

In the Hebrew scriptures, the initial darkness was called tohu vavohu,  "wild and waste," "the chasm," or "void,"  chaos.  That is a better description of where sin leaves us --- in darkness, in confusion, in separation from goodness and peace and joy.  But God sent His eternal Light into the darkness and gradually pushed back the chaos.  

In his great hymn of praise at the birth of John the Baptist, Zachariah says, Because of the loving-kindness of our God, wherewith the Orient from on high has visited us, to shine on those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace (Luke 1).

Zachariah's words are a better description of "sin."  They convey what sin actually does when we separate ourselves from the "the great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality," in the words of C.S. Lewis.  Sin causes us to 'sit in darkness and the shadow of death," a death and darkness which gradually envelopes not only the one who sins, but all those around him.  We do not perceive that our world is gradually growing more dim and more chaotic until we find ourselves unable to escape from the prison we ourselves have created.  

Jeus, save me! When we see the Light of the World approaching, we recognize the chaos into which we have fallen, and we call to the One Who has overcome death.  "He shall be Peace" says Micah the prophet.  He will save us from the primordial darkness, fear, and chaos:  Those who were sitting in darkness have seen a great light!  Merry Christmas!

My Apologies!

 Today I discovered for the first time, all the comments people have made on these blogs over the years.  For some reason, I have never before seen them.  

I don't usually go back to a previous blog before writing a new one, so it has not occured to me to look at previous blogs for comments.  And now I have discovered some of the most beautiful, thoughtful, and insightful comments --- to which I have never replied.

My sincere regrets and apologies to those who took the time to reply.  In the future, I will check for comments!

What Are We Waiting For?

When I was a child, I could not understand Advent. If Christ had already come into the world, why were we pretending to yearn for His coming again?   Even as an adult, it took years for me to see what Advent was all about:  We are waiting for the birth of Christ, our Savior, in our own hearts.

We are waiting for His light to overcome our personal darkness; we are waiting for that joy which never goes away; we are waiting for the peace that the world cannot give us.  Jesus said to the woman at the well, "If you knew who was speaking with you, you would ask, and He would give the spring of water that wells up to eternal life."  I have written previously about Is. 12:  With joy, you will draw water from the well of salvation.

That's what we are waiting for -- the water that means we will never thirst again, the water that satisfies our deepest thirst, the water poured out in us by the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit.  The power of Jesus' Resurrection means that we are born again, no longer from Adam's race, but from the Spirit of God.  And the Gift of God to us is joy, peace, light, and love.  This is what we are waiting to be born in us.

Jesus tells us to ask the Father for the Gift of the Spirit (see Matt. 7 and Luke 11).  And St. Paul give us a clue about how to receive the Gift:  Have no anxiety at all, but in everything give thanks, making your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil.4).

One time I was experiencing a great deal of anxiety about something in my life.  As I got out of the car on my way to teach class, I said, "O God, what am I going to do?"  Immediately the answer came to me:  THANK ME!    Still very downhearted, I said, "Okay.  I praise you for....."   And again, the Spirit of God spoke in my heart, "No.  THANK ME!"   Suddenly I understood that we praise someone for who they are or what they are:  "You are so kind;  You look lovely today.  You are so smart...clever....beautiful, etc."   

But we thank someone for very specific gifts or kindness given to us:  "Thank you for the fruitcake; thank you for stopping to fix my flat tire;  thank you for visiting me."  

In my sudden understanding, I began to search around for very specific things for which I could thank God, and as I looked up, I saw a gorgeous blue sky with white clouds that brought a smile to my face.  "Thank you for this beautiful day!" I said.  And then as I walked across campus, I found more and more things for which I could thank God.  By the time I got to class, I was a much more joyful person than the one who had gotten out of my car a few moments previously.

Thank You, Jesus, for the Gift of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, Who teaches us these things and Who brings us out of darkness into Your Marvelous Light!

The Work of Our Hands

 In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

We tend to think that God is too busy or too concerned with important things, like world affairs, to pay much attention to our little affairs, our daily work, or pressing concerns.  But actually, God has entered into a marriage covenant with us, meaning that He has taken up all the concerns of our lives.  If it's important to us, it's important to God.

Teresa of Avila, the great mystic, once wrote: Christ has no body now but mine.  He prays in me, works in me, looks through my eyes, speaks through my words, works through my hands, walks with my feet, and loves with me here.

If Teresa is right, and I think she is, then what we do on a daily basis is of great importance to God, for it is through us that He will redeem a fallen world.  The implications might seem that we should all be "out there" doing something important, like missionary work, for example.  However, the "other" Teresa -- Therese of Liseux---gave us the example of what she called "The Little Way:" doing small things with great love.

"Redeeming the world" means cleaning up the mess that all of us tend to leave in our wake: Mothers taking care of babies; wives and husbands supporting one another in daily struggles; teachers dealing with over-active and distracted/distracting students; priests hearing confessions; doctors healing broken bodies and wounded hearts; social workers bringing order into chaotic homes; janitors polishing up what dirty shoes and thoughtless souls leave behind.

Even cleaning up the kitchen 'saves the world" from chaos, if we think about it.  And those of us not engaged in saving the world are in the process of destroying it.  So if you tend to think that what you do is not important to God, I have a suggestion: Before your day begins, try laying out your plans before the Lord, in His sight.  I kind of like the prayer of Solomon here:  And now, O Lord, You have made thy servant king instead of David my father. And I am but a child, and know not how to go out and come in....give therefore to thy servant an understanding heart...to discern between good and evil (3 Kings 3).

Jesus said, "I no longer call you servants but friends....I have chosen you to bear fruit that will remain."

I have found that when I begin my day by asking the Lord to direct my work, I seem to be more efficient and accomplish much more than when I try to figure it out by myself.  Somehow, strange as it may seem, God actually seems to care about our daily tasks, as well as the peace of mind with which we do them!