Small Epiphanies

 This weekend, we celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany in our church.   It seems to me that all of us, whether lowly shepherd or princely king, have epiphanies, or revelations, in our lives.  And it also seems to me that, when we do have an epiphany, the experience is not complete until we are able to tell someone what we have "seen and heard."  

For example, someone just told me that rice, normally a high-glycemic food, is no longer high-glycemic once refrigerated.  I didn't know that, and so, for years, I have been trying to choke down brown rice, a food I don't really enjoy, just because it is not as high in sugar as white rice.  I also learned that LSU agriculture has developed a low-glycemic white rice available for purchase.  Now, these are not earth-shattering epiphanies by any means, but knowing these facts help me to enjoy a food I have tended to avoid somewhat for years.  In my "joy" over this "epiphany," my first thought was to tell my sister, who has also avoided white rice for years.  I wanted to share "the good news" with someone else who, forgive me the analogy, was "suffering" in ignorance.

Epiphanies, no matter how small, always bring a measure of joy --- and our joy is not complete until it is shared.  When we experience profound beauty, or stillness, or goodness, we immediately want to say, "Do you see that?"  or "Look!"  One time, while visiting Sicily, my son took us "cross country," so to speak, to see a still-preserved Roman villa.  On the way back, I found myself so moved by the combination of the history and beauty of the country that I could not hold back the tears.  I wanted to share the experience with someone else; I wanted someone else to see and feel what I was seeing and feeling.  The people I was with had been living in Sicily for some time, so they had already been through their own epiphanies of history and beauty.

St. Therese once said, "Beauty opens my soul and makes room for God!"  Any kind of epiphany, small or large, has that effect on us.  And that is why the church is so important.  I don't mean "going to church," for that may or may not lead to epiphany; it might be just a social occasion.  What I mean by "the church" is called by St. Paul and St. John "fellowship," a word that carries more import than "friendship," although it certainly includes friendship.

It is when we can share our experience of truth, beauty, and goodness with at least one other person, and that other person reacts from the heart --- is touched for a moment with the same truth, beauty, or goodness --- that we experience fellowship with one another.  And our joy is then complete, when the other person sees and knows what has touched us so deeply!

One of the things I love the most about my husband is that he loves the church as much as I do, and, as a historian, he sees it from a different perspective than I do. He continually explores what is happening in the larger church from a historical perspective---something I am not inclined to do.  And I continually explore the truths of our faith from a spiritual perspective.  So on a daily basis almost, we are able to share our "epiphanies" with one another, both perspectives enriching our experience of our church.  

In the weekly bible study with a small group of friends, we explore our individual insights and inspirations with one another, constantly opening and enriching our experience and understanding of the Word of God.  No one of us, no matter how deep or profound our personal epiphanies, has the whole truth, the whole beauty, the whole goodness for which we are destined by God.  St. John says, We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son, Jesus Christ.  We write this to make our joy complete (1 John 1).

If we want our own epiphanies and joy to be complete, it would help to find fellowship with at least one other person, as did the shepherds and the kings, who spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed (had their own epiphanies ) at what the shepherds said to them (Luke 2).

Born of God

 I can think of nothing more beautiful and more powerful to read than the Prologue to the Gospel of John:  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God....

It seems to me that anyone who takes the time to read these words slowly and reflectively would have to be moved by them. And those who are moved by them, again it seems to me, must respond to them:  

his own people did not accept him, but to those who did accept him, he gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born not of natural generation nor by human choice nor by a man's decision but of God.

....born of God,
born of truth, born of goodness, born of light, rejecting the darkness,
born of justice, of loving-kindness, born of mercy and gentleness to all......

I have a remarkable book on my shelf called Why Can't We Be Good? by Jacob Needleman, a professor of philosophy at San Francisco State University.  Needleman explores the question of why mankind (we) repeatedly violate our most cherished values and beliefs.  According to him, we know what is good, but we mysteriously fail to live by the ethical, moral,  and religious ideas that will guide us to authentic life. According to him, we are unable to be good!

Two thousand years after giving the Law to Moses on Mount Sinai, God sent His Son into the world for that very reason ---- we were (and are) unable to live by the Law!  The Son pitched His tent among us -- the literal meaning of the phrase He dwelt among us --- in order to give us the "power," the ability, to enter into divine life -- to be born of God and no longer of men.

ANd how will we know that we have been born of God?  St. John tells us in his first letter:  If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from every sin.....Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.

In The City of God, St. Augustine writes about the universal sin -- the lust to dominate.  This scourge seems to lie at the very heart of all mankind.  We can see it in two-year olds in nursery school and in every year thereafter:  I must have the toy you are playing with; I must be better than, smarter than, prettier than, funnier than..... I must be right; you must be wrong.  We never outgrow the lust to dominate.  

But when we are born of God, the Spirit of God in us begins to gently but surely move in us to change the lust to dominate into a passion to serve:  I am among you as one who serves.  I have said before that when we open the door to Jesus (Rev. 3:10) , He comes in and begins to re-arrange the furniture in our house.  He gives us the power to become like God!  Yes, it takes a lifetime, but He continues until the end to overcome in us the lust to dominate others.  He has pitched his tent among us! The question is whether we will allow Him to contine dwelling in us and among us.

Right Turn

It was an early morning trip to church, as usual.  I think I may have had a meeting.  When I got to the railroad tracks, my car seemed to have a mind of its own.  Instead of turning left, I turned right, for no apparant reason.  Maybe I was still half asleep.  Suddenly awake, wondering why I had done that, I decided that since I was now half way to the local gas station/pit stop, I'd go ahead and get a cup of coffee on my way to church.  

As I opened the door to the store, I was met by a very frightened and desperate young man, about 17 years old.  "Please," he said, "can you drive me somewhere?"   I hesitated, not sure of his character or motives.  Would I end up in a ditch somewhere?   More frantic, he said, "I have money.  I can pay you for gas money."   "That's not what I'm worried about," I said.  

I went to the cashier.  "Look at me.  Look at him.  If I end up in a ditch murdered, he did it."  

"Please," said the young man, desperately.  "He dropped me off to get something and he's coming back for me in a minute."  

With that, I hurried him into my car, and we took off at his direction.  He was guiding me into an area of Pass Christian that I was unfamiliar with, and I began once again to wonder about where I would end up.  But as we talked, I discovered that he was being trafficked, and that there was a warrant out for his arrest.  Now he was afraid that I would take him to the police station.  I reassured him:  "I'm not going to do that.  You've suffered enough already."

I found out that he wanted me to take me to a gas station owned by the father of an ex-girlfriend.  He was sure the man would take him in and keep him safe, despite the fact that the girl needed an abortion.  We talked about abortion, but he was not in a position at that moment to think about the right or wrong of abortion.  His own life was in danger.

Looking back now, I wish that I had thought to ask him one question:  What happened the moment before he met me at the door?  Had he desperately prayed to God for help?  Had he asked for a way out?  I'll never know if I was an answer to his prayer, or if God reached down before he could even think to ask.

At any rate, that's one right turn that turned out to be the right one!

Paying Attention to God

 I have a wonderful book called Paying Attention to God: Discernment in Prayer, by William Barry, S.J.  Now I love the title of this book because it seems to me that paying attention to God is the one thing that most of us do not do.  We may be engaged in prayer, in ministry, in works of mercy, etc. --- but it seems to me that somehow we are not really convinced that God is actively engaged in our lives.  There's a huge gap between heaven and earth, and God is in heaven; we are on earth.   

St. Paul says, In him we live and move and have our very being (acts).  God is not remote to us; He is actively engaged in every part of us: our minds, our hearts, our wills (souls).  ANd He is not static: He is not a noun but a verb: I AM.  He is dunomis in Greek -- energy (dynamite).  There is no moment in which He is not acting in us and with us and through us.  

So it would probably be beneficial for us to start paying attention to what He is doing in our lives.  St. Ignatius taught his followers to practice the Examen, that is, at the end of each day to look back at the God moments, the places where God was acting during the day.  It may take a few days to get the hang of it, but once we start practicing, we may find ourselves smiling at the memory of those moments -- and thanking Him for being there.  As we continue the practice, we begin to notice the moments when they occur instead of waiting til the end of the day -- The fullness of joy is to see God in everything. (Not sure which saint said that!)

I guarantee that once we start paying attention to what God is doing in our lives, we will begin to know that we are loved and cared for.  What we do is important, but what God is doing on a daily basis --- that's the whole story! Most of our attention is on what we are doing --- and I guarantee also that focusing on that will bring us not joy but chagrin, if not frustration.  For which of us does not struggle and stumble through life?

One small example of God at work in my mind:   I have been taking Melatonin at night ever since I started chemo because someone told me that Melatonin helps chemo work better.  A few nights ago, as I picked up the bottle, I thought to myself, "I think I'll skip it tonight and see whether it affects my sleep or not."  I don't know why that thought went through my mind; it's the very first time I skipped the supplement on purpose.  

About an hour after I had gone to sleep, the fire alarm went off in our house.  Both of us were startled out of sleep and pretty disoriented and groggy, trying to figure out what to do.  My husband had taken a sleep aid; I had not.  One of us had to get on a ladder in the middle of the night.  As I climbed up, I thought to myself, "Thank God I did not take a melatonin tonight; I need all the clarity I can get right now!"  Thinking about it the next morning, I came to the conclusion that it was the Holy Spirit acting in me that night when I decided to forego taking the supplement.  I had to smile and thank Him for "little things" that make such a difference in my life!  

We can dismiss such accounts as coincidence, or we can at least start to wonder --- and pay attention -- to the fact that God might be closer to us than we thought.

Beauty is His Garment

 Someone once wrote: Beauty is the garment with which God clothes Himself.  I thought of that saying this morning as I read a few pages in Enchanted with Eternity by William Slattery, PhD.  Slattery is writing about the world to come as described by Revelation 21:3:

Behold, the dwelling of God is with men.  He will dwell with them and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them.  

The original Greek manuscript seems to mimic the way Hebrew treats poetry, repeating the word "God" at the end of the verse, "forming a little word picture:"  Himself God/ with them/ is/ their/ God.  God protectively surrounds the sentence as God encircles his holy city and the bride.....at the center of the sentence is the verb of being: is.

What follows is a descriptive paragraph that could be captioned Beauty is the garment with which God clothes himself:

.....while having a more vivid awareness of your own uniqueness than you ever had during your mortal lifetime, you will simultaneously feel your soul flow into intimacy with your Triune Creator-Lover-Rescuer as you experience him cosmically inside you  and all around you: 

in the warmth and soft light of the summer morning, in the freshness of the breeze, in the smile on the other's face, in the grandeur of the mountains; at the sight of turquoise-blie streams, in the aromas of the oak- and pine-vaulted forest where wafts the scent of mint, in the rich, fruity, orchard-sweet taste of the blackberries picked off the hedge, in the soothing lapping of sea waters on the sunrise-gold sands, in the orchestral symphony of the birds, in moonshine-clear Alpine lake waters.  

In all our surroundings, we will intuitively see God's face, hear the resonance of his voice, experience the heat of his love.  He will radiate His presence to us through the exercising of our own creativity and by the delighted experience of other people's creativity.  In the sight of the perfecton of the craftsmanship of our fellow humans, we will sense the inner fire of their authors.  In works of art, architecture, and music, we will sense not only the supreme creative power of the Creator but, in a way beyond our present power to imagine, we will see God himself.

**********************

Today is Thanksgiving.  Can it be a coincidence that this morning I read these pages, just as the weather is gorgeous, with sunshine bouncing off each leaf as I write this memory?  Just as I am wrapped in the sweet memory of an evening meal spent with 14 members of my family?  It might be worth printing these words on a card to be carried with me to a park bench where I can enter into a prayer of thanksgiving for the exquisite treasures of life itself.

God is Watching!

 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth; the earth was waste and void; darkness covered the abyss, and the spirit of God was stirring above the waters.

According to modern science, what was true, is true today.  Scripture says, In Him we live and move and have our very being (Acts 17:28) and

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together (Col.1:17).  Bruce Gordon, a philsopher of science states, "....reality, in toto, is continually realized through divine action (mental causation) as an expression of ongoing creation."  In other words, creation is not an event in the past, but an ongoing action of God in the present.   "God saw....God said."  God continues to see and He continues to speak --- and His Word holds all things in existence, just as at the beginning.  He speaks to what He sees.

The physicist who invented the term black hole  (John Wheeler) studied the relationship between the observed experiment and the observer (the scientist performing the experiment).  In quantum physics, it is only when the quanta packets of energy are being interfered with by the observing of the scientist that they "collapse" into a particular material state.  Only then do they become identifiable and measurable.  Wheeler concluded that an "Observer" was essential for the existence of the universe itself, because only such an observer could give it reality:  ....the entire universe only exists because someone is watching it----everything, right back to the Big Bang some 15 billion years ago, remained undefined until noticed.

When the physicist sets up his experiment to detect particles, he finds that light energy exists in particles.  When he sets up the experiment to detect waves, light energy expresses itself in waves.  Leading physicists have concluded that there is not only the experimentally verifiable horizontal cause and effect, but a "vertical causality" (the scientist himself).  For them, the solution to the quantum enigma implies the existence of another dimension of time. 

Interestingly, Plato, Aristotle, and Thomas Aquinas had all seen the real world as "images" of the model in the mind of God.  The pagan philosophers, of course, referred to the "ideal" forms to which the material forms conformed.  Aquinas spoke of "aeviternal" time where eternity overlaps with chronological everyday time and configures the "real" world.  In other words, God has set up His World as His "experiment" to produce and reveal the Image in His Mind of the real world.  

When we were children, we were told that God is "watching" us.  Indeed He is!  

Spooky Science

 About 40 years ago, when I was still working at the college, a colleague came into my office one day with a lengthy newspaper article.  "Read this," she said, and walked out.  As I began reading, my hair stood on end.  The article was about a famous experiment in quantam physics, wherein scientists were trying to determine whether light could be defined as particles or as waves, a question that had plagued them for some time.  In fact, one scientist had received the Nobel Prize in physics at one time for determining that light could be defined as particles.  Years later, that same scientist's son won the Nobel Prize for proving that light could be defined as waves.  

According the latest research, the determination was now that light, when unobserved, acted as particles; when the experiment was observed by a scientist, however, light behaved as waves.  And they could prove this theory by experimentation!  My colleague and I agreed to call this "Spooky Science."  That article has stayed with me all these years, for some reason.  Even though I am not scientifically inclined, I never forgot my reaction to that article.

Now, all these years later, I am reading an entire book about the issue of Quantum Physics and its effect on Newtonian Physics.  For years and years, scientists believed and taught that atoms were the stable building block of the universe--- that everything we see is made up of atoms.  Turns out that is not exactly true.  Atoms themselves are made up of sub-atomic particles called "quanta."  And, unlike atoms, quanta are not stable at all  -- the chance of finding any quanta today where you found it yesterday is absolute zero.  And quanta "control" or affect one another from great distances --- even 20 miles or more apart.

As I read this book, spooky science gets more and more weird.  The question is how anything in the world remains stable when it is constructed at bottom by quanta.  When you build a house in one locale, you do not expect to find it on the other side of the city the next morning!  Yet, that is exactly how quanta behave --- until they are observed by a scientist!  Then they manage to rearrange themselves into nameable and measurable elements like waves.

The implications of this science are almost unbelieveable to the modern mind.  Einstein's reaction is famous:  "All I know is that God does not play dice with the universe!"  Max Planck (the father of Quantam Physics and friend of Einstein's) spoke to an international group of scientists in 1944:

As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such.  All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom and holds this most minute solar system of an atom together. Since there is neither an intelligent nor an eternally abstract force in the whole universe...which moves of itself... we must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent spirit.  This spirit is the matrix of all matter.  Not the visible, transient matter is real, true, manifest...but the invisible, immortal spirit is the real thing!  However, since spirit cannot exist as such, but every spirit belongs to a being, we are compelled to presume the existence of spirit-beings. Now since even spirit-beings cannot exist out of themselves, but have to be created, I do not shy away from calling this mysterious creator the same as all cultures of the earth have called him in previous millenia: God!

What this means is that the opening page of Genesis is on-going and eternally true:  God "hovers" over the "chaos"/particles and moment-by-moment conforms them to the image in His mind.  Tomorrow, I'll try to explain why this is the present conclusion of modern-day science!